Consistent consequences. Our behavior plan includes swift and CONSISTENT consequences for harming other people or property. Here, it is a timeout that works for Korban. I actually take a portable booster seat with a strap, and a digital timer EVERYWHERE! I was soooo skeptical, but it works amazingly. AND when I talk to him after it happened, I use as few words as possible and talk about how the other person feels (i.e. sad, hurt) when he does that. I always follow up at the end of the timeout with a simple reminder. .. "No hit or timeout." Firm.
Good luck! You may also want to focus on finding ways to help him protect his personal space and defend himself. We started with signing and simple 1-2 word phrases. Empower him to express himself. Signing made such a signifigant difference for us, it is remarkable.
Hugs,
Kristi
Thanks Kristi. I actually tried to give ds a time out at the park but it was just so hectic. I like the booster seat and timer idea. I do this at home (time out with timer) but couldn't figure out how to make it work in public.
What's weird is that this child was not invading ds' space but simply talking to him. The attack was really unprovoked. Ds' behavior really scared me today!
Put him in the car and take him home. Park time is DONE once aggression occurs. That's best for the safety of everyone concerned. Even if your 6yo is disappointed, reward HIM when you get home in some other way. Tell him that teaching the 2yo that he cannot hit is critical, especially if the 6yo does not want to eventually get hit himself. If your child is in Early Intervention, ask them for help. EI is supposed to address the child's issues in EVERY environment.My 2-1/2 year old has a nasty habit of slapping, or swipping, at other kids in the face. We were at the park today and another child just talked to him and ds swipped at his face near the eyes--it was horrible. I ran over and told ds to apologize but since he's not really talking yet he couldn't apologize and so I apologized for him. I told ds how we do not hit and keep your hands to yourself, etc. I told him if he did it again we would leave the park. Sure enough he did it again to the same child!! We left the park. How do I get this point across to a 2-1/2 year old with PDD-NOS?Both ideas are great.
My daughter is 7 and once in awhile still does it, too.....so yes....nip it in the bud NOW.....much worse when they are older and you fear they will do it !
Good advice tzoya, thanks.
I do agree with everyone here but also i would watch him for sensory seeking behaviors. My 3 yo is sensory seeking and tends to like slapping, its not really out of anger. He just likes the sound, He even does it to himself at time. We have started a sensory diet for him, He is a bit older than yours, but some of the things we are doing are, squeezing squishy balls, balloon games ( trying to keep it up in the air).
playing with playdough, dry rice, beans, oatmeal, silly putty, and water. Playing with straws, sticks, unsharpened pencils. Also children musical instruments, little drums which he can hit with his hands, xylophones, triangles.
Pushing and pulling and carrying heavy objects, tumbling, and hoppig.
Clapping games to music, I highly recommend Twin Sister productions, 120 kid songs. Twin sisters produces all kinds of educational music, if you google it you can find their website.
I would also watch for cues as to what sets him off before he hits. Is your son very social??? is he afraid of people he doesn't know??? Just monitor and see whats going on before he hits, IT could be as simple as him learning to take turns. I taught my kids to take turns very early on, every night we would sit with a bowl of pudding or oatmeal, I would have some, then say ITs michaels Turn, Then Timmys turn. We did this every night with different activities just before bed when everyone was calm.
Good luck to you hope this helps
We had something like that starting w/ Payne when he was younger...I would follow Tzoya and Trashman's advise. He doesn't understand cause/effect yet, but he will.I think it's possible that because of the language delay and possible spectrum issues that he doesn't know HOW to interact but maybe wants too? That or the opposite...He doesn't want anyone in his space and he sees children talking to him as a threat of his personal space. Probaly too young to tell which but I have to agree with others here that hitting is not acceptable and I think you did the right thing by leaving. Take the park away.....I like it.
Karrie
Payne meshes well with adults (who know how to communicate well with him) and younger kids, but his peers is a little lagging...it is improving, but still he will lash out mostly out of frustration and he doesn't realize he is hurting them. I was told once when he would do things like that to me to be a *drama queen* and cry loudly, etc...and to have other kids do the same b/c he didn't understand...it helped tremendously for him to understand. I would have conversations with him when he got hurt too...why it hurt, etc.Right Payne's mom, he does not understand cause and effect yet but indeed he will.
Carolc8632: ds is social with adults but not as much with peers. I think he is frustrated that he can't talk and that frustration turns to anger and he lashes out at peers. Thanks for all the good sensory advice.
My son has aggression isses as well. Today the MRDD school called me to tell me that someone needed to pick our son up from school because they didn't want him to ride the bus. (Apparently he "went after" another child on the bus, and continued to go after that same child throughout the day. The caller did not seem to know the details, I think that she was just the designated caller.
Our son is 7 and large for his age. He wears the same clothes that our 11 1/2 yr. olds wear. So he towers over his peers and has a lot more strength than they do. They are pretty much terrified of him. He had two non-aggression months in a row at school, then all of a sudden he fell apart last week for a few days by either pushing or kicking kids. When they fell down he would say "So and So is dead." I don't understand this behavior, we have really tried to monitor the shows he watches. (The school thought he might be acting out a show). And then today happened with the bus and school. The designated caller also mentioned that they might need to come up with alternative transportation for him. My husband commented that it was a nice was of saying he is kicked off the bus. It's really bad when you get kicked off the MRDD bus!But that hasn't officially happened yet-so stay tuned! We'll see what tomorrow brings!