screaming at the top of her lungs... | Autism PDD

...so, Evie has had two meltdowns the past two days. She gets upset over something and it escalates, and she ends up screaming repetetively as loud as she can in a most guttaral, almost animal like sound. She does not calm down until I physically carry her to her room and let her scream it out for about 5-10 minutes. Afterwards, she's hyperventilating and has the hiccups for about the next 20 minutes. It's incredibly hard to take. What will happen if she does this in school - she's supposed to be in regular kindergarten next year.

Edited to add: when she's in the hyperventilating stage, the only thing she could say was, "I want Abigail".

fred39250.3221643519

mom of twins -- how true!

At the END of Kindergarten, I asked T's teacher, does she ever have meltdowns?

She looked puzzled, then said, "No, she never shows ANY emotion in my classroom."

I take solace in knowing that my kids' meltdowns are the worst at home. My kids definitely show more control over their outbursts when they are not in their home environment and when I am not present. My own parents once witnessed my NT child's tantrum (in my house and in front of me) and were shocked - they had never seen her melt down with such intensity. Both my children are quite the drama queen and king in front of me, but are much more controlled at school. I think they "save" up all their stress and let it out where they are most comfortable - at home. I wouldn't worry too much about kindergarten yet....there's still the summer to expect growth and adjustments....put that IEP goal that Kristy suggested in writing if you think that would prepare the teachers for what might happen.

Fred,

Happy Father's Day:)

Hope Evie is better now:) It is sweet she wanted her sis:)

The cause could be all of the above^

Rigid,attention, tired, changes, allergies, mom gone, structure screwy, lose teeth..constipation...growing pains...life:)

Ignoring the behavior and no reaction at all is best...difficult to do but over time she will do it less often and shorter duration!

Thank God Sarah never did this at school which told me it was a behavior issue and not something physical..she has control of it when she wants to:)

Social stories are wonderful and work miracles in this area..make them short and sweet about "NO screaming because it hurts our ears...we use our words..indoor voice is nice:)

Good luck Fred! This is not the first nor the last so hang in there!!

It's tough. What brought themeltdowns on?
My ds does not have the screaming meltdowns, he just kind of keeps
freaking out and cries and can not get the curve. Most kids are different
in school than home. I'd be surprised if your dd will have the same kind
of screaming meltdowns. My ds has now had a few shutdowns at school
where he just gets really tired and once even fell asleep. He does not have
that at home.
She might still be a little young, but maybe when she is doing okay you
could sit down with her and come up with a plan between you to of what
helps her in a meltdown. Getting away from stimulation? A tight hug with
a pillow? If she can learn how to recognize the first signs of a coming
meltdown and feels like she has some tools and control over how to calm
herself, it can really make a big difference.That's pretty tough. One thing that I try to do is offer praise when my sons can calm down by themselves--so after she's quiet in her room, say "Good job calming down!"--even if it took 5 minutes of screaming it out. Other idea would be to figure out what her calming things are: bean bag, blanket, lights out, stuffed animal, a hug, whatever--best if whatever it is, it is something she can learn to initiate. I say other things like: "I can't help you when you're crying, you need to use words to tell me what is the matter"--this has mixed results, sometimes people just need to cry it out whatever it is. You might find that this doesn't happen in kindergarten. It will happen more where she feels safe.
Nowwhat

Fred,

First of all HAPPY FATHER's DAY!!!!

Regarding meltdowns, a few questions:

1. Is this a completely new behavior? If so, has there been any big changes either in her environment or her development? From your post about the interaction with the other girl, it sounds like Evie is starting to notice the world around her more. Maybe she is becoming more aware, and not understanding it all, and not able to express her emotions. For my son, frustration born of either not understanding or not being able to express it, seems to be at the root of most explosive behavior.

2. Can you see a trigger? For example, my son tends to meltdown when overstimulated and redirected to an activity that he doesn't want to do or doesn't understand.

3. Can you see it coming? My son gets what we call his "angry face" on and holds his arms rigid at his sides with fists clenched.

When we have a meltdown here, physically carrying him to the room and letting him scream it out is the norm. If we can see the signs coming, I can typically remove him quickly from the situation and either hold him tight (deep pressure) or rub/brush his back and I can usually get him calm before it reaches full scale meltdown stage.

We had this going on all the time at ages 3 - 4. Less frequent now. However, C was in mainstream kindy this year and we do have a behavior intervention plan in place. It was created during the second half of his last year of preschool and it's still going. If you would like to see it, it is 9 pages, PM me with your email and I can scan it in tonight and send it to you. The plan addresses two problem behaviors: 1. explosive protests (aka tantrums) and 2. sitting quietly and not talking out of turn.

We also have a goal in next year's IEP about this. Goal: C will utilize strategies to manage frustration and self regulate, having no more than 1 explosive outburst in a month lasting no longer than 15 minutes.

Fred, being prone to tantrums is not something that is going to preclude her from being successful in mainstream kindergarten. If, and it's a big IF at this point, this behavior manifests itself in school, it can be dealt with by the team. We've seen big improvements this year. In preschool, C did this 2 - 3 times/week. In kindergarten it was 2-3 times/month, if that.

Regarding the hyperventiling, that's pretty typical too. C doesn't do that, but my NT son used to get so worked up when in a tantrum that he would hold his breath until he passed out - luckily he grew out of that by age 4!

I think she's just getting to a point where she can understand and perhaps recognize the feeling coming on. That's good advice. I think some nice social stories would help. I'll look for some or write some.

What precipitated these episodes? It's happened the last two mornings. This morning, she came into my bed and tried to take my blanket. I let her take it. Then she started telling me to get my legs off of the bed. I was half asleep and I told her (in a stern voice) that it's not nice to come into another person's bed, take their blankets, and then start pushing them onto the floor. A few seconds later, she started sobbing. THen I told her that she would go to her room if she couldn't stop sobbing (again, in an escalted voice), and then the screaming started. I felt myself starting to overload, so at the point, I picked her up, carried her to her room, and closed the door.

I know, I know, I shouldn't be raising my voice - but I wasn't yelling, just sounding a bit stern, perhaps voice raised - certainly not yelling. She will have to deal people talking with her in stern voices in life, so i guess teaching her how to self calm in these situations should be a goal.

Edited to add: lots of things that have changed in the past few weeks. School's out, our tutor is not coming anymore, and this weekend their mother is out of town with their brother at a wedding, so there's lots of change. Abigail seems to be taking it more in stride. Neither girls has any obvious negative reaction to change, really.

fred39250.35125

3. Can you see it coming? My son gets what we call his "angry face" on and holds his arms rigid at his sides with fists clenched.

I could probably intercept this behavior, but I worry about reinforcing all of the whining, sobbing, and crying that precipites it, moreso because usually the sobbing and crying is unwarranted - due to a simple correction or chastisement or sometimes even saying "no".

Happy Father's Day! We're in the process of moving, and my son's tantrums have worsened, although I hear he's supposed to adjust to the change at some point. I know it's so hard, you feel so bad for them, it's like they have no control over their emotions and you can't reason with them. I just have to tell my son to go take a break, I put him in his room to cool off, that's all I can do. If it happens in public, I take him to the car just like the baby/toddler days! He was in a school program for a few months and never melted down. Hopefully, it will be the same for your girls. Maybe they just do it for us because they feel more comfortable? How nice, right?

You could record the behavior earch time it happens to get a better udnerstanding of the cause.

ABC

Antecedent--what happened prior to the meltdown

Behavior--what was the behavior and how long did it last

Consequence--what happended afterward, what did you do and what was her response.

This is what we do when we get a new behavior. We really see the patterns when you look at the data.

Then you can focus on preventing the behavior by using social stories about how to deal with what she was feeling, giving her the words to use, giving her a prompt to go and relax, or whatever might work in your case.

Happy Father's Day to you!

Fred - I have a sneaking suspicion this is tied to your wife being out of town
this weekend. My son has a tendency to act up more when my ds is gone
overnight. She actually may just need an extra amount of TLC this weekend
as she's probably feeling a little insecure and out of sorts.

You definitely get the "Father of the Day (weekend)" award for agreeing to
watch both girls so you're wife could attend a wedding on Father's Day
weekend. Hope the rest of your weekend goes smoothly.