Keep sharing these stories! I love them!
WONDERFUL post!
I really enjoyed sharing your happy news!
Love it. Keep em coming. Love hearding the good stories too. Makes me think things will get better.Well, I've talked about ds and his forming friendships with the boys down the street and y'all are probably sick of hearing it already. So, if you are - stop reading now!
We have just worked so long and so hard with him and I just want to share it with others - because I'm feeling good about how he's doing and because I want to give others hope as well.
Anyway, today the twins down the street come banging on our door to ask if ds can play. He was getting on his shoes before I even answered the door! The boys said their mom said that they can ONLY play at their house so that ds has to come over. Inside I panic! I can't leave dd and it will seem odd if I follow them over to their house. I haven't told the mom about ds being on the autism spectrum yet. I kind of wanted to get to know her better first. But, I said, "Okay".
The one twin kind of stayed behind - he has taken a liking to me as I listen to what he says. He's the quieter of the two and VERY serious (I'm trying NOT to diagnose, but this kid is bright, adult-like, and I think has some issues - but I don't necessarily think he's on the spectrum). Anyway, ds and the other twin took off, so I help this twin find them. I came back in and called my friend who has three kids, two with diagnosed special needs (one we're pretty sure has AS). I ask her if she thinks it's appropriate for me to let ds go down three houses to play with the other kids without me there to supervise the play. She knows ds pretty well. She kind of talks me through it as I am feeling incredibly guilty for letting him go by himself, because I feel like I should be directing the play and making sure he's being appropriate. However, I have this gut instinct that he is doing just fine (he was).
Anyway, the boys come back to our house to tell me about this ship they built and then ds and the one twin (the quiet one) realize they weren't supposed to leave the twins' yard and at the same time, they looked at each other and said, "Uh-oh!" So they race back over to that yard. It was so cute!
Then they all came back and came inside the house - I can't imagine how she keeps her house clean because they were like two little tornadoes! But they wanted to see ds' room and they were having a fun time. However, ds all of a sudden went down the stairs. I was in dd's room playing with her and I followed him to ask him what he was doing. He was putting his shoes on and said - well, I don't think we told the boys' mom we were coming back over here so I'm going over there to tell her. The boys both rushed down the stairs and the one kept saying, "No, PLEASE don't do that - we promise we told her!" We open up the door and the boys' mom was standing there about ready to ring the doorbell. I asked her if the boys had told her they were coming over and she said no. The boys got very guilty looks on their faces. I kind of explained what had happened so we are going to try to figure out some way where the boys stay put and don't keep going back and forth -because we want to make sure we know where they are at and they don't somehow get lost!
Fast forward to bedtime - every night, I ask ds what his favorite part of the day was. It's part of our routine and often I get a "wacky" answer from him - like "eating bedbugs". Sometimes I get a pat answer like "playing with dd". Tonight I got an answer that just about made my heart burst - "It was playing with (the twins)". Then we talked about our day trip tomorrow to our old town. Ds was okay with it for a while but then a light bulb went on and he said - "I don't WANT to go! I want to stay here and play with (the twins)!" Wow! Anyway, this is our last time going to our old town, possibly for good and there are lots of people we are saying good-bye to tomorrow and ds and dd are going to their tumbling place for their last pre-school camp afternoon (which is 3 hours long). I told him he could play with the twins all weekend, all summer in fact - but this was the last time he would get to play with all the kids from his tumbling camp (and he likes almost all of them a lot). I thought it was just amazing that he would rather stay here and play with the twins then play with his old friends in our old town.
I thought we would have MANY more transition issues with ds than we have. But, it seems to me he has decided this is a fresh start and he seems to REALLY like it here! He had a lot of history with the kids in our old town and not all of it was good. I think he's determined to have friends here - and they don't have the negative history with him.
Anyway, we are very pleased with how far he's come. I would never have imagined letting him go to someone else's house not supervised by me last year - or even a few months ago. But so far, it is going fine. He was there for over an hour. I asked the mom how he did - and she kind of gave me a questioning look and said he was fine. I explained to her that it has just been this last year that ds has become more social - he has always been rather reserved. I think she understood that because her one twin is like that (reserved) as well. I didn't want to say anything more yet - just am testing the waters, so to speak. But, it seemed to help her understand why I'm such a hovering mom.
Well, if you have gotten to the end, I applaud you.
This really gives me so much hope! I will cry buckets when J. makes a
friend. What a nice way to start in your new place.
That is outstanding!! Your son is so lucky..two of them!!
YEA!!!
What a wonderful story! Building friendships and making connections are what we are all striving for. You were wise in not saying too much to the mother. I believe it is important to get to know the child first before the diagnosis .
Any way thanks for sharing.