I see many posts from parents who are looking for ways to get their kids
more interested in interactions with peers. And I clearly see why you
would want that for your kid.
Still I have the opposite problem. My ds is very interested in peers and
always tries to initiate interactions. But now that he is 7 his peers clearly
recognize him as odd and have little interest in interactions with him. He
is not odd enough that they realize that he has a disability and include
him in a kind way but he is odd enough that they will let him know that
they don't like him. I know that there are many little things I can do
-facilitate interactions/playdates, work with school to have them be
sensitive to it, keep improving my ds's skills - but as a whole it is /will be
a problem. And it is really hard on my ds. Sometimes I think that if he was
not interested he would not feel the regection so much. Or he probably
would get less regection because peers would not feel bugged by his
attempts. I guess it is one of the heartbreaking things about asd. Anyone
elses kid willing but rejected?Yes my son does not really fit anywhere, He prefers adults, but is still a kid and needs a friend his age. I don't really see it happening for him right now. He can't play sports, but wants to be part of a group. I am going to talk to the School to see if he could be a water boy or manager helper for a team at the school, hoping he can associate himself with a group of kids that would accept him, even if it's only at School
Andrew is only 5 and sort of a middle-of-the-roader. He plays alone but usually enjoys other children when they're there.
Our local ASA chapter sends out info regarding Social Groups and such. I found "The Little Gym" helpful for social skills. The best thing we have where I am is "Camp Gonnawannagoagin'" which is a summer day camp that matches each child with autism up with an adult counselor and a peer buddy volunteer so there is always at least one child to play with, but there are all sorts of group activities. He went one week last summer, one week over spring break, and will go two weeks this summer. www.camp4autism.org
Aww, that is sad!I talked to Coles teacher and asked her advice on 2 or 3 boys in his class that are the most sensitive and understanding of him. Since then I have just concentrated our playdates with these boys and it is starting to really pay off. One of these boys has a younger sister that is non verbal autistic so he really attempts the most effort with Cole.
Good luck!
Sarah will let a girl hold her hand and drag her along but once the friend lets go of her hand she is off somewhere else. I think having a girl is a easier for her to get other girls to approach her but at the same time they are more verbal at saying something to her if she doesnt follow them...Sarah prefers boys to girls...socially I think boys are less demanding on her..that is probably why she prefers adults too~we accomodate her better and help her fill in the gaps that younger kids cant do. She has never not liked kids and will play right smack in the middle of them..she just isnt motivated to do what they do when they want her too..yet:) She acknowleges them, knows all their first and last names and tells me little things about them so I know being around them is a positive thing..she is picking up some things from them at least. She wants to do whatever they do and gets real upset if she cant do the pole on the monkey bars when her whole class can..as far as her knowing she is different and feeling rejected hasnt happened yet..knock on wood! She is so darn cute I hope the kids give her a break and not hold her quirks against her to bad. I wish I knew the magic bullet to give her to help her but its in her now I am afraid..done all I know to do with playgroups 2+ years and tons of ABA..the motivation will have to come internally. Some day:)[QUOTE=micki] Anyone
elses kid willing but rejected?[/QUOTE]
Yep. You are not alone.
I asked the doctors how is this possible for an ASD kid to try and try to fit in and be accepted .... The answer was that they've seen that before. I think that all kids with ASD have the desire but they have different levels of "willing" and "trying" to go with and some have, on top of everything, the sensory problems that makes everything even harder.
I've seen my son with tears in his eyes and asking me to help him to blend in ... it's very hard .... My biggest worry is that he will stop trying at some point because the rejection is clearly affecting him.
Wide spectrum and many faces of the same problem .....
I almost forgot : the doctors told me to give him a coping mechanism for dealing with rejection.
My girls are very social with each other (it doesn't neccessarily look and sound like typical four year old social behavior, but they enjoy it, and the interact and spend a lot of time with each other). Is it possible to get him into some support group or activity where there are other spectrum kids? If nothing else, they at least seem to tolerate each others differences.
Also, does he have a special interest? There are clubs for every interest imaginable, and he might have better like socializing with his intellectual peers rather than his chronological peers.
I think when they get older and find others more like themselves that have the same interests it will get better..I know 3 boys with aspergers and it wasnt till the end of middle school till they found friendships and all found peers that overlooked the quirks because they all had the same intense interest as them, whether it playstation, warhammer or paintball..they have friends now. I dont know if girls bond over things like this though
My lil cuz just got diagnosed at 12 years old with aspergers..all his friends had to have his obsession with yugioh, pokemon, and knex to be with him..but he has friends and sleepovers:)
Sarah loves are very solo so not sure what is in store for her~when she is an adult & survives childhood I feel more encouraged that she will be accepted better & hopefully she will come out of this "aloof" behavior before then..I pray:)
My son is also very social, but lacking in the appropriate social skills to be effective. I am hoping that as his expressive language improves, he will be more successful.
We also try to get him out as much as possible to parks and anywhere other kids congegrate, so that we can try to help facilitate some peer interaction. We try to bring cool toys to draw the other kids in, and then help Brandon interact.
My son has this problem too. He makes a friend here and there, but other kids have found him a little different. He takes to children younger than him, and if the playing involves running around at a playground or other "instant playdates," as I call them, things go well. It's when he starts having conversations with other children his age, and he's talking non-stop about animals or Pokemon, that it's clear he's a bit different. Sustained friendships are a struggle, and if my daughter has friends or other children interested in playing with her, my son becomes very jealous (sometimes to the point of meltdowns).