Linda11567 - My son has been in school (14 hours a week) for 3 months now. I feel that he's actually regressed with his skills and he has become selectively mute. And that's wearing off at home and I don't like it!!!
On the flip side of that, his tantrums are getting shorter and more controllable. I definitely attribute that to having to control his emotions at school.
I hope that with more time in school, he'll come around like your boys are doing, but digression scares me.
This year they are in separate new schools. One is in an intergrarted class the other goes to a gifted school.
I know it is easy to take the rationale of keeping them together to help the dx child. We almost but them in the same class for next year but I think we also had to take into consideration what was best for the nt child and what enviornment he/she would do best in.
It was also important for our dx child to have his own space at school where he wouldn't be out shined by his brother. I think if you separate them it will be hard for the dx child in thebegining but as he/she gets use to the routine you will see greater improvement. The child will be forced to deal with other people and surroundings where she/he and not depended more on the nt child.
Just my opinion.
good luck..
I separated in grade school and was glad I did, especially as AS son's behavior got worse before we knew dx. My daughter did not want to be her brother's keeper and would be embarrassed at times by how he acted. As she got older and understood more about him it explained a lot, but she would not have understood when she was younger why her brother was acting so. They are almost 13 now and are in the same math class, which now has been kind of helpful and instilled a friendly competition between the two!
Ryan (pddnos) and Megan (nt) are in separate all-day kindergarten classes. I prefer it that way since I believe Ryan would rely too much on Megan. He needs to be independent. They were also in separate classes in pre-school just 3 hours a day. During the short time they were in daycare they were separated because Megan was potty trained and he wasn't. They also ate lunch at different times. Ryan would eat slowly just so he could see Megan when she came for lunch. That really broke my heart when I heard that but he's better because of it. But I truly believe she has made him more verbal and social because she is the dominate one and thrives on attention. Thanks for the responses! I'm still debating what I will do. The school he goes to will not allow his sister under any circumstances and the private preschool she goes to can't handle an ASD student, so I would have to change both of their schools. I like that they each have their own school, but I hate to see my son stagnate when his sister can light that fire in him. His reports from school are terrible - they make him sound severely handicapped. But his reports from his private therapists (that use his sister for therapy) are so positive. It is just so obvious he'll only work when sister is around. Gotta give him credit for being manipulative!My twins are older and NT, but when they were in elementary school we demanded they should be in the same class for a couple of years. I was not happy with one of the teachers, and Sarah was the only girl in her class, and it really bothered her. Initially the school told us they had a policy where twins had to be separated, and we asked to see this policy in writing. Of course there was no policy, and they put them in the same class.
Doing something that may help in the short term, will not cause any long term problems. My dd's are now in university, one is an art major, and the other is an engineering major. They stay in different dorms, and spend some of their time together, but not all of it.
I would put your concerns in writing, and then badger them until they get so tired of hearing from you, they'll give in...it used to work for us.I've done a little bit of both with my twins. When my son first started ECE
pre-school (at age 3.5), I had his twin sister in the program 2 days per
week as a peer (he went 4 days). This year, he attends his ECE program
in the morning 4 days per week without her, and in the afternoons they
both attend a private NT pre-school together. It seems to be a good mix.
However, I will say that my twins aren't joined at the hips and do tend to
play/interact pretty independently from one another while at school.
Next year, for Kindergarten I will have them in separate classes. I feel this
will help both of them in a variety of ways.
I myself am an identical twin (we're both NT). While my sister and I are
very close, we were always separated in school......and I personally believe
this is a good thing. Twins in general tend to gravitate towards one
another and it's important they each be able to create their own identities.
Since your son is soooo attached to your daughter, I think it's probably
even more important for them to be separated. He really needs to be
able to learn to function without her, and you'll still get the benefit of her
influence when he's home. Hi...Just wanted to ask those of you with twins how you placed your children in school. My son is ASD and daughter is NT. Right now, he goes to a preschool program where she is not eligible to go. Unfortunately, he is so attached to her that he refuses to cooperate, speak or participate in anything at school. I've suggested to the school that using his sister as a model helps at home (and at private speech therapy), but the school was quick to dismiss that idea. They want him "to blossom on his own." I think twins and parents of twins can truly understand how deep that twin bond is and I think using it to my son's advantage in school could possibly help at this stage of his development. And my daughter is too young to understand that she is being "used", plus she eats up one on one attention from my son's private therapists. Anyone have any experience or suggestions?
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