are your kids affectionate | Autism PDD
Andrew loves tickles and likes hugs alot of the time, not always. He used to turn around and back into you, now we get "forward hugs". He likes rocking with Mommy when he's tired, and he'll dive into my arms if he hasn't seen me for a day.My son sometimes will let me give him a hug and some days he wont...He is so sweet...My son has always been very affectionate. Lots of hugs and kisses (putting his lips agains our faces, not puckering up though). My son has never been affectionate. His arms fall to his side when I hug him and it almost seems like I'm hurting him. He has NEVER initiated a hug or kiss and when I kiss him he wipes it off immediately. He used to say he was rubbing it into his heart, but now he just rubs if off. I know he loves me and I tell him every day.
I am very grateful that my Daniel is very affectionate, probably more than my other children. Ever since he was a toddler when I hugged him I would pat his back and I would tell him that I was giving him my love. He is now 7 and I love it when he gives me a big hug and I feel him gently patting his hand on my back.
Bullet. Thanks so much for telling me that. I feel so much better. He doesn't seem to have much understanding of language yet, but I am so glad to hear he is showing affection!My child gives me and DH kisses, but we're teaching him still the proper way to hug. He either wants to head butt, or cling like a vine to the person in question. Awkward when it's the parish priest!
Tony likes to give "pops"... not kisses. Always both cheeks too, then I have to kiss both his cheeks as well.
Mary
Hi everyone,I was just wondering how affectionate your asd children are. My son (5.5) is getting more affectionate with age
. It's not constant, but he will approach us once in a while, and with a very loving gaze, touch our face, or put his head on our chest. He's still not big on hugging, but he is very "touchy". I am delighted. I think it's adorable.I'm hoping that this will give way to more affectionate behavior. My in laws were in town for christmas, and hadn't seen our son in about 8 months, and were very impressed with his change in behavior. During their last visit, he was very uncomfortable with all the guests in the house, and was pinching and scratching, and bouncing off the walls. He handled it much better this time, and only became aggressive one time. He was also approaching them more often to touch them, and sit next to them.
They kept talking to him, and he kept repeating them (his speech is mostly echolalic).
Needless to say, I am pleased with the positive changes in behavior. I can still vividly remember how he was 2 years ago, when I couldn't even get him to look at me or anyone else, let alone show me affection. It really gives me a positive outlook toward the futue
Nakama
Michael loves hugs. He hugs everyone when he greets them..even strangers he meets for the first time ! ( we are working on handshakes
When he is hurt, he always wants a hug and a kiss on the "owie" and once you do it, he will say " all better" and move on.
So he comes across as very affectionate but what it really is, in his case, is tactile under-sensitivity. He craves deep pressure.
My 8.5 yr old has gotten more affectiate with age but it is on his terms
My 4.5 yr old also has gotten better BUT we still have ALOT of problems with aggresson or inapproriate behavior. It is only on his term becomes very upset and aggressive if it is pushed on him or iniated. Have a hard time telling him to give so and so a hug bye
My 2 yr old is very affectiate but if it is something he does not want he freaks and he doesn't want it from very many people
Nakama, that is great. What a pleasure for you.
Alex has always been appropriately affectionate - to answer your question. He has always had an appropriate sense of who to touch and who not to - and how much. He snuggles with people he loves.
That's great.My 7YO can be overly affectionate, scary sometimes to people he doesn't know.
My 4 1/2 YO is very affectionate with me, and from what I have seen, his father (we are divorced), and his grandfather, and one particular teachers aide he loves at Head Start, but not with others.
Liam is very affection toward me and will initiate cuddles and kisses.He is only affectionate with people he knows well and is comfortable with, which is great.
This is an issue which I am so thankful for. I feel very connected with Liam.
Tony is very affectionate, but as in most areas, has his process of things. He is very comfortable with family being "touchy/snuggly", and is doing better with others. Better in the sense that if we prompted him to say hello/goodbye, that meant the other person got a hug. Regardless if it is socially appropriate (the minister at church vs. the cashier at Walmart) or not.
Mary
Ahh..yes..Tony Mom's..that is what Michael is when it comes to affection too. He doesn't randomly hug strangers..but when prompted to say bye or hello to people he has not met before, he will complete it with a hug.My son is not and never was a "toucher." He still isn't, yet I know he loves us deeply. It doesn't matter to me that he is stiff when he hugs; his emotions matter.My 8.5 and 4.5 yr old sons are stiff as wellLachlan is very affectionate but only with family.
Mysh
I get mostly "sensory" hugs. The smashing his forehead against mine and squeezing my neck really hard. I am still waiting for a kiss! He is starting to give me teletubbie big hugs now occasionally. It is wonderful!When my son was a pre-schooler, he was affectionate with people he didn't know well (relatives we seldom saw, neighbors, a speech therapist who was evaluating him), but I realize now that it was because he liked to touch their chins and throats as a tactile stim.
He has always been pretty affectionate with family. He puts on a lovey gaze, and gives hugs, kisses, compliments and expressions of love, probably more so than the vast majority of kids his age (8 years).
I thought that being affectionate was an unusual trait for a child with autism, until I read all the entries on www.autism.about.com, where parents were asked what they loved about their child on the autism spectrum. There were a lot of loving children mentioned there. These entries were compiled in a tribute booklet that you can read here (we who contributed were encouraged to share the link as a gift to the autism community):
http://www.autism.about.com/od/inspirationideas/l/AGifttoAut ismCommunity4.pdf.
If your child isn't particularly affectionate, remember that the autism spectrum is very broad, and that each child is an individual with his/her own strengths and challenges, and their own way of expressing themselves.
"I get mostly "sensory" hugs. The smashing his forehead against mine"
2ND Round Mom, that's how some on the autistic spectrum kiss
She is affectionate sometimes on her own terms, sometimes she will climb on me or lean on me, but she doesn't like being hugged unless she initiates it. savannah is very affectionate...for a long time she didnt hug but...rather crossed her arms across her body and leaned against you...then we started putting her arms up and saying give me a big squeeze...so now she will...she has always been kissy...she is a little too overly keen on adult strangers...she will randomly start conversations...although from what i am told ...so did I...I told my mom when I was a kid...that this bum was my friend...and hugged him...my mom freaked.
My 10 year old is overly affectionate but was not that way always. It came gradually and now we have to get him to stop hugging and kissing so much. I don't mind when it's his family members but when it's teachers, friends, co-workers and just about anybody who will accept a hug from him, then it becomes a bit of a problem. But he is getting better at knowing when it's appropriate.
Of course, there are also times like the other morning when I went to give him a hug and he said I smelled funny. Too much garlic I guess.
I am very grateful that my Daniel is very affectionate, probably more than my other children. Ever since he was a toddler when I hugged him I would pat his back and I would tell him that I was giving him my love. He is now 7 and I love it when he gives me a big hug and I feel him gently patting his hand on my back.
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My son does this too!! If I am upset he will always come over and pat my back, its like he's the parent! its so cute!Anthony is appropriately affectionate for his age. He loves to cuddle in the morning. He usually crawls in my lap after he gets up or he'll hop in bed with DH and I if, for some strange unknown reason, we're still in bed. He trades kisses for treats. If he asks "Can I have piece candy?", I'll say "6 kisses" and then I'll get them. I usually tell him he miscounted so he has to do it again and we both laugh.
To answer the first post.
My daughter Clarissa (age 5) can be very affectionate. When I come home, she says "Mom!" and then she comes to hug me.
My daughter and my husband went to the dollar store last week. My husband is the kind of guy who practically never says no to my daughter (that's a whole other issue). She wanted to buy these cheap plastic flowers, so he got them for her.
They came home and my daughter came downstairs where I was lying on the couch, just hanging out. She gave me the flowers, and said: "Here mom, these are for you".
That was one of the most beautiful moments of my life.
That's so sweet
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