I worry about the same things.
You are not alone.
I just hope that my son is one who will be able to function in society. I have high hopes for him (we are still paying on his prepaid college plan).
Although I worry, I have to tell myself that only time will tell and right now I can only live in the moment and do what I believe is best for Liam.
Hugs.
I also worry about that, I do realize that a semi independent type of living might be where my boys end up but I can't say for sure so I just keep plugging away.
Hearing the urgency in my IEP from the evaluators that I get my son in to see a neurologist, realizing how severe his regression has been from 2 1/2 until now, at his age of 4 and 8 months. Hearing from my mother, who is a special education teacher's aid, that I need to realize that I may be looking at lifelong care ... I handle these things pretty well most of the time, but other times I am just terrified. What if something happened to me? What does our future hold? Karen I think we all feel like that. I know that for me I can't ever die because no one will be there to take care of Jason. I kind of unfourtantly stuck in the here and now and just worries of day to day because it is to hard to think long term. I worry about it every day. It sometimes seems to be all I can think about. I do research and come to this site every day pretty much. I recently found out that my cousin who is 21 has Aspergers, too, and has such horrible anxiety he can't drive, but they only found out last year and he never had any treatments to help him. My husband tells me not to think about the future too much because he may be fine. I can't live the next 15 years assuming he'll be ok and then at 23 years old find out he'll be in a group home or something. I think that would be a horrible way to deal with it. I think you always worry about your kids, but with our kids it's different. I think I'll prefer that he live with me forever because then I know he'll be ok. I mostly worry about if something happens to ME who will take care of him and love him like I do. I don't want to burden my daughter with his care. She'll probably have her own life. I love the fact, though, that my kids are so extremely close with each other. My daughter worships him and thinks he is the funniest and most fun person she knows. I think if it came down to it she would probably WANT to take care of him. I hope. I need to do that as well. I keep saying I will and it doesn't happen. I also need to get it written down legally as to who would be legal guardians should both my dh and I die or become completely incapacitated. If you don't, there is a good possibility your children will be put into foster care if there isn't someone there to immediately take possession of them. Can you imagine how horrible that would be for any child, let alone our kids? I guess I have felt for a while that my dd will probably end up looking out for her brother. I am hopeful that he will be able to live independently and take care of himself, but that she will be there if he needs her. Right now they really adore each other (for the most part that is!
That was very sweet. Your brother is very lucky to have such a great sister! Tiggerjnry, That was very sweet. Your brother is very lucky to have such a great sister! [/QUOTE] Thank you! My parents started college funds for all my 3. It is earmarked as an educational fund, so if they can't go to college, I'm hoping that it could still be used for something for them. I know it's not beyond the realm of possibility that I am going to have escort him thru college.....I can see it now as we do reports together for class already. It's ok with me though. I am 35- and he is 10, I got a wicked long time, and I will be honored to spend it with him. Pat(dh) and I already know hows it probably going to be....it's ok though. Our younger son, Jake, almost 8, is going to do something wonderful with his life. He will probably tell me to go away from him!! He is NT- and loves his daddy. He is his daddy's mini-me. Gail I guess that old adage "Plan for the worst, but hope for the best" often applies as a parent, whether of NT or ND children. As a single mom, I'm the only line of defense for my children at the present time, so yes, it's something I think about alot - one of those nasty 2 a.m. worries that crop up when my brain finally has a chance to breathe
As I deal with day-to-day, I focus on the here and now - what can I do now that will benefit my son - and my children in general - down the road the most. What can we be doing that will make a positive impact on the future? That's what I focus on most. But, I've also faced that I'm mortal and, having lost my late husband suddently without warning, am well aware that it can "happen to me." So, I've met with a financial planner regarding a "special needs trust" that will protect whatever Brennan inherits, asked my folks to put whatever they were planning to do for him into that as well to protect it, and have updated my will. I calendar it for when I need to review it, and then put it on my "mental shelf" to deal with then and go back to the daily stuff. As she continues to get older, I also include my teenage daughter (15) in knowing what plans I've made, so that she's aware and part of the decisions. When the worries creep up on me, I remind myself that I'm doing what I need to do to plan for my children's future as best I can, and firmly stomp it back into it's place on the shelf. If I let myself focus on it too much, I would become a panic-stricken puddle on the floor...
I worry about the same things too...will Quinn be able to take care of himself as an adult? will he be able to go to college? will he be able to live on his own? ....what will happen to him when I'm gone...soounds morbid I know...I constantly worry about my health, although I am in good health now but...what if something happens to me or his father or my parents?...we are all his caretakers....who will take care of him? I don't trust anyone else....This may sound crazy but I want to live as long as he does so that I can always watch over him.YES! I worry about those things all the time, but I have to just do what I can now.
The only thing I can be certain of is that what I do while she is young will directly effect her outcome, so thats what I focus on.
(((HUGS)))
Copyright Autism-PDD.net