First of all, slow down!
My relationship with friends with children has changed. I tend now to have more friends who have kids on the spectrum - you feel more understood. But, true friends will stick by you and will find out more info about the disorder so they can better understand. Do I sometimes feel jealous - yes, honestly. But, I also know that my friends will never appreciate the small things the way I do. Learning to snap - huge for us, small for others for example. And, I relish the hugs and kisses and I truly treasure those moments where I can see him trying so hard at something even though he isn't able to do it. He doesn't quit and I admire that perseverance.
It is too early to decide about nursery school - and the EI people should be able to help you with that. It depends on how much progress your son makes in EI, in my opinion and how functional he is. My son went to an NT pre-school (NT stands for neurotypical - i.e. typical) for one year, and then went to the same school the next year - but added in ECSE (Early Childhood Special Ed) two afternoons a week to get extra help in social skills and also to get OT. He has never had a para in his mainstream schools. There are paras in his ECSE room - but they are for all of the kids in the class - that is how the class is set up.
I try to have my son be around NT kids as much as possible. He plays with the neighborhood kids - who, depending on the day and mood, are pretty tolerant and accepting of him. He has made a lot of progress so this is getting easier. He currently attends Head Start 4 mornings a week and ECSE 2 afternoons a week. Our Head Start is wonderful and has social skills lessons twice a week for an hour for all the kids. My son has made 2 friends there (although they are not necessarily the choice of friends I would make for him - they are QUITE rambunctious!) but they are friends and I am thankful for that. My son was so excited to show his friend his new Batman mask he could hardly wait to get on the bus one morning! Not all Head Starts are the same - so check into everything carefully.
I think the most important thing you can do (besides come here) is get involved with a local support group. Those parents are going to be better able to tell you what YOUR local resources are like. Unfortunately, they vary not only from state to state, but from city to city! People actually move to get better resources or schools for their kids (we are doing that in 6 months, although the move was precipitated by my husband's job being down-sized in that time as well. But we took advantage and are moving to a city that has GREAT resources for my son and a good job for hubby!). You will hopefully find some new friends in the support group as well as good opinions from people who have already been through what you are going through. If I hadn't listened to the people in my support group, my son would not have his diagnosis. We were supposed to see one dev ped and EVERYONE in the group told me to see the other dev ped. We did and the one we saw said that if we had seen the other doc, he would have never diagnosed my son as he doesn't really believe in PDD-NOS and generally only diagnoses more severe cases.
I would look into ABA. You also need to get him into speech ASAP. Call your local EI office TOMORROW to get an eval set up (if you haven't already). They should set up appointments to evaluate him and then have a meeting with you to decide what services he should receive and go from there. I would try to find another parent or advocate to go with you to any meetings. It is hard to remember all that is said, you are already overwhelmed and you don't even know what questions to ask! Take along an experienced parent or advocate who can help you with those things.
Hope this helps - I'm sure others will have suggestions as well. Hang in there - it will get better and you won't feel so overwhelmed eventually!
Just wanted to say THANKS! Thanks for the encouragement. Thanks for the well wishes. Thanks for the advice. The courage on this board is enough to overcome this issue. I wish you all the best as well.
From what I understand, our county offers some of the best EI services and we will certainly take advantage. Still, my wife and I are very saddened. We feel as though we may never be truly happy again. All of the things we wanted for our boy just may not be. Life is not supposed to be unfair to a 18month old. But we will press on. We will succeed. Our boy is who's important.
Question: As a parent, what are some of the techniques I can employ? How can I start to teach him? What are the EI programs like? How do they work? Anyone have an example? Can anyone share a technique with me for Speech? How do I get him to point? To Communicate?
Question: As an adult, how have your relationships with friends with children changed? at all? or not at all? Should we push our boy to be with NT (BTW, is NT normal?) Do we send him to regular nursery school? Or should he be at a special school?
thanks for reading, thanks for caring. i wish your families all the best.
Before your son is able to use speech you will want to focus on pointing and gestures - this will lay the foundation for speech as an exchange for what you want. If your child does not point that would be a good place to start. First I would model pointing day and night. You will probably need to do hand over hand with your son like momtomatthew did until he gets it. So when he wants something take his hand and make it into a point towards the desired object and then say oh you want _____ and give it to him immediately. When my son was about the same age we focused on pointing, a few sign gestures like more, open and please. We always modeled the word with the sign. It is best to try pair sings. pointing and gestures with highly desireable items- bubbles was also a favorite for my son at this age.
A good video for your son's age that my son enjoyed was Baby Babble. It is good for preverbal children because it focuses on sounds and gestures more than vocabulary building. It lays the foundation first.
Some good reading may be
More Than Words by Fern Sussman - good language techniques
Behavioral Intervention For Young Children With Autism - edited by Catherine Maurice - this is a manual for ABA if you are interested in an overall view of the program it is also detailed enough that you could implement ABA at home if you chose.
Overcoming Autism by Lynn Koegel - offers strategies from PRT or pivotal response training
There are many websites that offer good and practical advice on things you can do with your child. I have to run so I will post these later but one that I can think of off the top of my head is
http://www.autismteachingtools.com/
My son was evaluated with EI at 21 months with expressive/receptive delay. He received 2 hours speech/week and 1 hour of direct instruction with an educator. He was diagnosed PDD-NOS at 29 months. Now through EI we are receiving a home based ABA program with 20 hours/wk 5 hours of speech approved though right now we are only using 3 and 2 hours of OT. He is also in a typical 2's class 1X/week for 2 hours and we do a gymboree class 1X/week. He is doing GREAT!!!!
It is scary and overwhelming when you get the diagnosis. But your boy is so very young. He will really benefit from such early instruction. Make sure you leave time for some fun and some time to interact with typical same age peers. BEst of luck. I'll post later with some more speech/language sites with ideas about what you can do at home.
Jen
I agree with all the previous posters. What wonderful, loving parents your little boy has been blessed withI do not believe that individuals can move off of the spectrum. Rather, I believe that with early interventions and intensive therapies starting at a very young age it is possible for a child to learn to cope with their symptoms without even having to think about it. I'm not sure if I explained that right, but basically I think my son will always be ASD, however other's might not be able to tell as we started "rewiring" his brain at such a young age. Does that make any sense? Probably not to anybody but me. LOL I have a friend whose child was diagnosed at 18 months. She got him
enrolled in early intervention, did lots of playtime with him (a version of
floortime), did lots of sensory stuff with him, etc. He was originally
classified as severely autistic and today at age 5 the doctors want to
remove the autism label. I think he still shows some signs of autism but
can be mainstreamed into a regular school setting, the language is good
and can function with peers.
I did not realize my son had a problem until 2 yr 2month. He just
received a diagnosis in Oct. When I first suspected autism, got him
enrolled in early intervention and started lots of floortime with him. We
also watched lots of baby babble and baby bumblebee videos to promote
language development. We also started speech therapy at 2.2 years. We
started a verbal behavior program 3 months ago. Every month I see
progress in his speech and his interaction with other people.
Today is Saturday, Dec 2. My son was diagnosed with 'mild' Autism on Thursday, Nov 30. It's been an very strange, emotional, dizzying day and a half.
The facts: My wife and I have always noticed a "different" child. He plays nicely by himself. He's quiet. He doesn't speak. He doesn't point. He didn't have much eye contact up until a few weeks ago when he started to. He will follow us with his eyes lately. He seems frustrated when he wants something. He loves fans. He loves wheels. He will flip over a car and spin the tires. He is obsessed with a Little People toy that spins when he pushes a button. But he likes all toys that have buttons, lights (cause-effect). Loves swings, slides. And we know because he smiles when he is on them. He does seem to tune-out the world (hey, who doesn't! it's just that he probably shouldn't.) He shows love. He knows his parents and grandparents. He recognizes his friend who he see's practically every day. He won't drink out of a sippycup - sticks to his bottle. He will bring us toys/books. He will get a specific book by title if asked. But he doesn't react to his name. He does know "No" sometimes.
Obviously I love my son. Obviously I will do all in power to get him the most help possible - I want him to have more than I could ever imagine from life.
The Questions: is he too young to diagnose? the signs are muddy but maybe we're in denial. should we look into special nursery school? should we do the early intervention anyway? what is mild autism? what does it mean for the next few years, the rest of my life, my son's life? will he just be different all his life?
and, I don't quite understand the whole concept of getting off the spectrum. how can a biological, central nervous system disorder go away. a person with a disorder can learn to live with that disorder, but the disorder doesn't go away. much like a paralyzed person from the waist down - he/she may not be able to walk, but surely they'll figure a way to get around. but they're still paralyzed.
i have tremendous hope in my son, my wife, my marriage, the educators, the people, the programs available......but should I even be thinking this way at this time. is it too early to diagnose an 18 month old? I am getting different signals from my pediatrician.
thanks for reading, thanks for caring. i wish your families all the best.
Hi, Jun6.
I'm sure this all must seem so overwhelming and scary now. At this very young age when things aren't so clear, perhaps you can not worry too much about the label of 'autism' and just get all the interventions possible and then go from there. Your son sure sounds sweet. Best wishes to you and your family. Have hope!
I agree that it is not to early for a dx if it's there it's there. Just to see where you might be for yr own information and or piece of mind take this little test I am in noway saying this is concrete evidence but at least for me it was just about rt on.
http://www.childbrain.com/pddassess.html
As far as services you can get a private speech and OT evaluation. Do you have goverment insureance or good medical usually this is covered with a referral from yr dr. As far as the other programs you mentioned I am not famillar with as of yet. I do know things can change for yr kids though my 4 1/2 yr old is talking now it may not be up to par and be odd but he is talking! Hope this helps a little
The earlier the interventions begin, the better the outcome. As the other posters have said, the label doesn't matter. Just get services to address the needs of your son. Does your county provide Early Intervention services? Check and see if they provide services from different groups. We had EI services, Building Block services at home for children up to age three, then special ed. preschool and home services from the public school system from ages 3 and up. These services provided Speech Therapy, Occupational Therapy, Physical Therapy, Sensory Integration Therapy. As your child grows older, your son's needs will probably increase to address behavioral issues. Your son sounds exactly the same as Eric was at 18 months, except Eric also had a major sleep disorder.
Ask any questions you have on this board, and you will receive many replies with lots of suggestions and ideas. BTW, Eric is now almost 11, he is in a regular 5th grade class, receives Speech Therapy and one on one time for math and reading comprehension several times a week. He usually makes the honor roll but we need to work with him on his social skills. We have high hopes for him, but he will always be on the Autism Spectrum. Autism is not a disease that can be cured, Autism is a lifelong condition.
My son was diagnosed at just under two though we had suspicions well before then so no 18 months is not to early for a diagnosis. Early Intervention is the way to go and has made a huge difference in our case. It is actually good that you can get the appropriate help for your son so early. In our case Early Intervention provides speech 3x weekly, OT 2X weekly, ABA 5X weekly and PT 3X weekly. We will also be adding a special needs toddler group 2mornings a week. We also are on a gluten/dairy and soy free diet and feel it has made a difference. Hoping your boy gets all the services he needs. I know how scary this can seem but there is hope and help out there!!