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| Don’t let him home?
Hi, I am at wits end. This is a very long story but I will try to shorten. My son is 15 almost 16 dx with High-functioning Autism. We have tried everything. I mean Everything! In-home support, MST, Hosp stays, Meds-he is currently on Seroquel and Adderrall, Contracts, a family focus program where he lived for 3 months and we went everyday until he went to bed and dealt with issues as they came up there. He keeps as hostage in our own home(not physically) but constant verbal abuse......on an on and on........We have a Pych for med managment and have had a Case Manager for years. Well things have esculated so badly the last few weeks that as of yesterday the Crisis worker and the Case manager said give him the option...........go to crisis unit or you need to leave. This is absolutely killing me. He hasn't had med in a day and a half. We met again this morning with Crisis(he was gone all night). He called several times and they tell me to stay strong and stick with this. He is not willing to go to crisis bed so I am to tell him he cant live here until he will! Last week when he took off they(police and Case manager said after a day or so it becomes a safety issue and you can have him picked up and taken to hosp. Today they say he needs to agree to it. If we take him to hosp and refuse to take home they will call dhs for abandonement. The only time we ever really saw great improvement was when he was in the hosp and meds were adjusted and we did some other work. My son has never had a friend. The minute he finds someone on the street to accept him...I fear he will be lost forever!!! What do I do? Can he help it? Can he make safe dec right now? They tell me to do this..........I think its wrong. I dont even know anymore. Marci, my ASD child is only 4 ( as of yesterday, hooray! ) so I don't really have anything to compare to. But, as a mom, and as a friend to someone with a son about your son's age I can tell you that Tzoya's advice is as right as anything I can come up with. Get him the help he needs now whether he consents to it or not. In legal terms he is still within your reach and your counsel. He needs you to do what you don't really want to do. Please let us know what happens. Make SURE he gets help for his AUTISM. He may be acting emotionally disturbed, but that could be a reaction to his AUTISM not having been treated properly. Perhaps you can get an educational advocate. Get him classified in special education at your local school district (then they MUST educate him until he turns 21 or until he gets a full HS diploma -- they have no choice in this if he is classified and they MUST provide education in the hospital). You are NOT alone. MANY ASD teens need crisis help and sometimes hospitalization. In the hospital they need to be looking into meds that will help. Risperdal and Abilify work wonders with MANY ASD kids. He is NOT mentally ill. He has a neurobiological disorder which means he was BORN that way. This is not something that developed because of bad life experiences, although clearly it has been complicated by life. Get an educational advocate who understands all forms of autism and it won't be too late to get the school to step up to the plate along with the hospital. You have truly done the right thing. ASD kids CANNOT pull themselves up by their bootstraps. They don't have the innate skills. YOur son needs help, not tough love. In his case, that won't help.Marci, My heart goes out to you. Can you file for legal guardian when he turns 18? I can not think of the exact term.Can you declare him mentally unstable? I have several friends who's kids were just like yours. In one case, the court sent the boy was sent to a special needs boarding school. He sounds very scared to me.  Good for you Marci! Sounds like you did the right thing. I have to agree that leaving him on the street is just the opposite of something that would help him. Regardless of age, when a person with a mental disability isn't able to make clear decisions for themself or have distructive behavioral issues, they should definitely be assessed. My own father was commited by my mother just 5 yrs ago when he was throwing kitchen items at her and refused to take his bipolar meds. Sometimes the meds they take for awhile stop working and the doctor needs to re-evaluate and prescribe something more effective. Would it be possible for him to stay at a residential facility for teens with mental disabilities?? What state do you live in?? Maybe I could find some resources for you.
Hang in there!! Hi, Thanks so much for the replies. We have just returned from the police station and they are going to get him. I couldn't stand the thought of him being out there anymore. I called my friend prior to going to the police station. She works at the local psy hospital and she said..........No this dosen't sound right. She told me to go to the police station. The police will pick him up take him to hosp. for eval or assessment. I don't know if this will help but at least I am doing SOMETHING now. Everything the police told me conflicted with what I was told. Thank you so much to all who answered. You told me what I knew in my heart was true. Thank you all.
You are very welcome Marci - I feel so much for you and wish there was more that we could do. Remember, until he turns 18 - you have the say in what goes on in his life, do not let anyone tell you otherwise.He is not 18 yet. Have him involuntarily committed while you can. My sister in law's son is out of her control now that he just turned 18. ACT NOW. YOu are right. He cannot be helped on the street.hugs to you!!!! I dont have advice but my heart breaks for youMarci:
I don't know what to say except I agree with you and I think it is wrong. He is not able right now to make rational decisions, regardless of his age and saying to let him wander is not right! Whomever told that case/ crisis manager that the appropriate way to handle a special needs child is by shutting him out is wrong! Right now your son needs you more than ever because he is confused scared and freaked out regardless of the fact if he knows it or not. And I sympathize with your fear of finding a friend on the streets and losing him.
There has to be an alternative that will allow you to place him in a medical facility without his consent - he is not an adult! Look at the case of the 17 year old teen who was forced to go to Chemo Therapy because it was beneficial to him - same thing here - medical treatment is beneficial to him and they should be able to push to get him into treatment regardless of his consent.
This is just my opinion so if I offend anyone I am sorry.
Good luck! I wish you nothing but the best! bump
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