Fed up with public schools
| Back to Autism Information >> Next Topic | ||||||||||
Hi everyone, I need some advice or just to vent I'm not even sure at this point. Last week my son went off Risperdal with Drs. aproval. I showed the Dr. Jared behavioral reports before and after Risperdal (school was unaware he was even on it) and the reports score-wise were idenicle. Jared had been gaining 5 lbs a month again and his behavior was still pretty much the same after the first week. I think he tried to show the school the first week that he was changed with the magic pills they wanted him on so bad. It didn't really help so the act wore off real quick. At his last IEP I was told Jared will be permently kept in the behavioral unit because I refuse to medicate him. SO HARD NOT TO SCREAM HE IS ON THE MEDS DON'T YOU SEE MR. MELLOW IS BACK NOW? I can't beleive they didn't notice the gorging food habits again. I'm thinking of getting him in a gym this year he is to tempermental for competitive sports. His reputation proceeds him. I hope this dosen't sound like I am not trying with my son he really had no benifits from Risperdal. I am working with a new Child Physciatrist who is looking into what made Jared ODD. He is looking at childhood trama and possible attachment disorder. He says we need to know more background to know what drugs will be most effective. He has also ordered ink blot tests and spectrum testing (to humor me). We hope to have answers before new school year. I was told at Jared most recent IEP meeting that his outlook is SBU until Jr. High and High School were he will be in SPED until he graduates or I coroperate and Medicate him again. I WILL NEVER ALLOW THAT! Jared has a very high IQ and is already able to do 12 grade math. I can't see wasting such a brillant mind because they can't handle him. I am serously considering Home Schooling again. The school promised me 2 years in the SBU and he would be mainstreamed now it's never going to happen? I already gave them 3 years to prove their way is better. When they pulled Jared out of mainstream 1st grade they said if I attempt to pull him out to Home School they would take me to court because Jared lacked needed socailization skills. Now the school tells me if I DON'T GET JARED UNDER CONTROL AND HE HAS A VIOLENT OUTBURST I CAN BE SUED AND I LOOSE EVERYTHING. He has never struck another child but he has teachers when they try to physically remove him. He probably will hit a student the first time he witnesses a bully in action (he did that at my sisters house with a neighborhood bully). But Jared has a strick code of justice. He feels he is always being wronged. I have had Jared to a dozen DRs. since he was 6. Most of them dismiss him when the drugs don't work or their counseling is useless. I'm at my wits end. When I was in Akron for one day they suspended Jared again and his dad was contacted and told it was for disrespect. They didn't tell me yet (they have my cell phone# but called his). I have to get to the bottom of this on Monday YIPEE! I know my attitude is getting bad but I think I should just pull him from public school and attempt home schooling. SPED classes will just let him be lazy and waste his abilities. ANY SUGESTIONS WOULD BE WELCOMED. I KNOW WHATEVER I DO THE SCHOOL WILL OPOSE. Sorry so long. Nelle First off... stop appologizing Nelle....You are frustrated and upset because your son isn't getting the education he deserves.... and secondly.... just to let you know i'm swearing up a storm over here with my "what the bleep bleeps".... The school can NOT threaten you like that.... That is just rediculous. If you feel he better served at home with his education, then so be it. He can get socialization other ways....there are programs in the US that bring home schooled children together for field trips and things like that...the parents just need to organize it.... and I bet if you looked into it a lot of those home schooled kids are disabled/special needs and need socialization too, but because it seems that the schools in Ohio are complete idiots the parents feel the need to pull them out of the the public school. I feel so badly for you and Michelle.... I can't believe what the schools over there are doing to you. Zach isn't in school yet, but my friend with the 8 year old son who is autistic says nothing but praise about his school and others I have talked have nothing but good things to say about Kenosha schools and disabled kids. In fact Tiff's son (my friend with the autistic boy) is the only one of her FOUR children who ISN'T home schooled, because He gets a better education at school and is doing better than his simblings .... Her 12 year old daughter was picking up horrible behavior at school... she is NT, but Tiff pulled her because of what she was being exposed to by the other NT kids. Her daughter will go back to school in Sept...because Tiff is ready to pull her hair out with the kids at home *laughs*... but she's going to a private school under a scholarship.Maybe you and michelle should move to Wisconsin???  Sarah Nelle: I too would feel exactly the way you are feeling right now. I am very sorry that the risperdal hasn't worked for your son. My son actually takes it too; but he takes it for a sleep disorder and overstimming such as pacing and water flinging. I have seen a difference with him and yes he loves to gorge himself with food as one of the main side effects with that. You know it surprises me that you live in Ohio; because when I lived there with my family my son got better treatment and better educational opps than where I live now. I haven't lived in Ohio now for quite some time like 10 years or so...what happened did Ohio regress in the autism area??? and the schools???? If you are looking for a good and a kind doctor who won't mince words and put it to you straight up there is a nuerologist at Akron Childrens Hospital whose name I do believe is Dr. Dean Timmons. He would be someone who actually specializes in autism and I found him to be the best doctor my son ever had while I lived in Ohio. Keep fighting for what you believe in until you get some sort of resolution and also another link would be copaa.net and you can select your state and find special education advocates/attorneys who can help you as well with what is currently going on. I too am in a similar issue with my school district and mine disagreement right now is with the IEP Draft and Placement. You speak of homeschooling; well that is the route that I took four years ago over the same placement issue I am having now. But my sons physicians want him in the job development center in our area due to his age; and I will get it for him instead of the horrible private facility the school district wants to put him into. So I can totally understand how frustrated you are. But one thing I learned that is very valuable....do not under any circumstances cuss out your school district....do speak kindly....do not appear to be frustrated with them or they will use it against you and to their advantage to make you comply. I found this out four years ago when I disagreed with my son's placement and my school district did use everything wrong I did in communicating against me; and I had to fight with them for one year in the court system before the judge ordered that I be permitted to homeschool my son; and close the case. So this time around; I am using nice words when I communicate....I am not letting them know exactly what we are preparing to do.....I am not telling them who all I have contacted.....and I am being little miss respectable even though I have to constantly bite my tongue to keep the nasty words from flying out....being raised around nothing but boys and on a farm and still being a 38 year old tom boy has something to do with my mouth when I am frustrated and you wouldn't believe the things I could say. Just play it cool....keep talking on these message boards...join some groups as well....and basically contact an advocate or attorney who can help you in your cause....and keep up a good paper trail of everything you are asking for and everything you are not signing in agreement to...as whomever does assist you will want a good clean paper trail.
My son had bad outburst too from preschool to gradeschool. He is very bright, Made the presidential achedemic award this year. He wasn't diagnosed with the right diagnosis at first. Because he could not be tested well at 4 yrs old, based on his lack of self control and inattention. Finally, after a teacher mentioned that she thought he might have aspergers, I started to do the research. I talked to my sons pyschiatrist and psychologists who agreed he showed many signs of autism. I never knew all the behavior problems could come from all the frustration and extreme anxiety these kids suffer with. These kids don't need a antipsychotic med, they need antidepressants. My son also was preoccupied with bullies and justice. This seems to be the case with Aspergers. My son did not have any language delays at all in his development. As a matter of fact, he uses and understands very big words for his grade and always has. These kids are very misunderstood, and are often misdiagnosed. Asperger kids tend to get hyperfocused on certain subjects. My son improved drastically with the addition of an antidepressant Wellbutrin. He was also on Dexedrine at the time, which only helped a little. When Straterra was to come out on the market, I called Lilly and requested study information. They told me everything I wanted to know. I went to my sons Dr. and asked to take him off the dexedrine and try Straterra. I HAD A DIFFERENT CHILD FROM THAT DAY ON!!! The school couldn't believe the change. My advice, first if you don't have a Dr. that will LISTEN to you, find one that will. This is your child not his. Research, if this sounds like your child come to the office well informed. I am lucky, we have a wonderful Dr. who respects my opinions and knowledge. He asks me what I want to do when we see him. He knows I know my son best. This is just a thought on what might be going on, hope it helps. I went through the emotional rollercoaster with the school too, but I didn't ever give up. Also. If your son has a diagnosed mental disability presently I would look into the dicrimination laws reguarding discrimination against children with disabilities. Sounds like the school may be in the wrong to me. They are not Dr. and cannot tell you what to med you child with or make threats to keep him in a very restictive learning environment. These kids need, even crave socialization, but their social skills are poor. They also thrive if given challenges and POSITIVE reinforcement. Negative reinforcement DOES NOT WORK! Good Luck! I TOTALLY agree that the key to meds, if you are going to give them to your child, is to get an excellent doctor who is very familiar with your child's disorder and one who is not only willing to listen to the parents but actively seeks out YOUR take on what is going on with your child. Each and every child has a very different reaction to medication. Two days on Strattera caused our son to have a return of SEVER Tourette's tics that we couldn't get back under control for a year and a half! He's taken Risperdal for controlling these tics since age 8. When the Risperdal is at the appropriate does, it's a MIRACLE for us. It also controls the aggression that occured at adolescence. Our son would be nowhere without Risperdal. But what works for an individual child depends on the individual child. Each child is his own, personal experiment. None of these meds are tested on children with the result that our OWN children become guinea pigs. But I've found that medicating my son under the watchful eye of an expert has given us a healthy, happy young man who is making very good progress. . Thanks everyone for your continued advice and suport for Jared. I haven't posted or visited this site for awhile due to a very busy and complicated life, but I am impressed with the number of people who are still offering advice THANKYOU again. With that said I don't know how this update will be taken. I had to give up custody of Jared (temporarily). Jared became more reckless and aggressive after his abusive Stepfather left the home. His behavior was begining to follow the pattern of Conduct Disorder. He would do things like get angry at me and go cut the power to the house and became fasinated with hiding weapons the Stepdad left behind. The school was still suspending him weekly for disrespect and later told me that they didn't have the resources for Jared because they had dismantled the SBU. Unknown to me they had placed Jared in special ed. classes wich permitted them to suspend much easier, zero tollerence and all. I am ashamed to say but when they started talking about long term hospital care or placing him in a group home I was running out of energy to fight the school for trampling on my sons rights. The school did turn me and Jared over to the courts and social services. I was going to have Jared removed no matter what I thought was in his best intrest. I did what I thought was best and submitted turning over custody to Jared's paternal uncle. Jared has the benifit of a school district that has a three step behavoral unit. His uncle works in the school district and is available for Jared's outbusts. His uncle has no children and is able to maintain strick schedules and disipline for Jared. Jared is doing well academically and is enjoying the activities his uncle is involved in. Jared has never had a male to show him the dad kind of things and he is definatly enjoying the uncle teaching him to fish and play basketball and other activities. My son has only been suspended once in his new school district. His uncle and I plain to have joint custody when school lets out. Right now I get him one weekend a month and we call frequently. I am buying a house in a neighboring county so I can hopefully get a fresh start. This county has decided they know better then I do and they have more say in how I am to raise my child. I am hopeful that by the next school year I will have custody again. I have noticed that with Jared being in a stricter enviroment his seems much more withdrawn and quiet and will call and only want to talk about his computer games or dueling cards he collects. I have to pull info like how was your day? I still suspect that with the ODD Jared has some spectrum qualities (not autism) and I have also observed mood swings. I hope with the changes in household scutures and the way Jared is handled in his new school he will continue to do better. He has so many gifts. Nelle
Nelle, I'm very proud of you for your courage, you've made the ultimate sacrafice for your son. I am pleased to hear how well he's doing. Although, it mustn't have been an easy decision, you made one that will benefit your child. He's had a tough road in life, only to be compound by the ODD. You are lucky to have his uncle to help and who understands. These years in his life are a turning point into his adulthood and I'll keep you in my thoughts as he transitions back into your home. You very well have given him the tools to a brighter future and agree, with Jared, he needed a positive male rolemodel to help guide him on his way!! Good to see you back on the board!! I noticed, after reading the entire thread, that you're having trouble getting Jarad testing. We had trouble too because we didnt' go to the right sort of professional. Psychiatrists are NOT the best for ASD, and I think Jared does have traits--who knows? NeuroPsychs are the professionals who will test your child in detail. My son had twelve hours (in two hour increments) of testing for everything under the sun. After the testing was done, we had a really clear picture of our son, what was wrong, and what we could do. The Psychiatarists didn't have a clue about ASD and we went to the best one in the area. WHen he told me Lucas couldn't have any form of autism because "he can move from one room to another without throwing a tantrum" I knew that I knew more about ASD than he did. He misdiagnosed Lucas with bipolar (I have no idea why--Lucas doesn't have behavior problems) and stuck him on Lithium and Seroquel for three years. He did no testing at all--he just listened to me talk about Lucas' "strangeness" and talked to him a little. If you want a thorough diagnosis, I strongly suggest a NeuroPsych. They do a great job and know more about ASD and beyond that. Good luck!Shakes, Thankyou. It was difficult and I still go through feelings of guilt. I know it was better for Jared then what the County wanted, and I do feel very lucky that his Uncle was willing to do it. His Uncle is about 5 years younger then me and I have seen him physically exhusted when he gives me my weekend. I have been meeting him part-way because it's amost a 2 1/2 hour drive. So I drive just over an hour to pick him up. On the visit before last my van was acting up so I couldn't risk the drive and his Uncle said I'll drive it I need the break. He has been wonderful and even went to court to show his qualifications and submitted to a background check. I feel very lucky for his help. Pammar, I don't believe NeuroPsych is one the I haven't tried I have had Jared to at least a dozen doctors and specialists but I will have to locate a neuropsych. Maybe that is the key. I know all the doctor's his been to so far have a different lable. He's been ADHD, ODD, BiPolar, CD, RAD, and Instant Explosive Disorder wich I never found any info on. I seems like ODD discribes him best, but I also see little peices of the other Dx's to. I have also seen alot of the same development patterns in my 5 y/o who has the Dx HFA. My other son is be corrected and worked with from the view that he is autistic and not just a behavioral problem and it has made a world of difference in his developement. I shudder to think what would have happened with him if they hadn't got it right. Nelle It's good to see you again! I'm sorry to hear of the difficult decisions you've had to make, but it does sound like you've done everything possible in Jared's best interest, as you always have. As for the school, as hard as it is, you have to just brush it off, they've never been supportive of getting you everything you've needed, and I'll just do the happy dance that you'll be out of there and on to bigger and better things!! I'm happy to hear things are starting to get better for you, and hope it continues. Hugs to you all...hi nellie found you, how is school doing for you? my son been in spec ed since preschool and 3 grad diag pdd bipolar and now in 6-8 diag asperger and adhd and bipolar and the schol refuse to listen so my son classifed LD only or they will ED only and i dont buy this it sad that ohio schools have to suck, i wish i could move somewhere else place where they a good supposrt group and where they more kids like mine b/c my son dont have friends and he so loney he depressed. thank for letting me vent on ohioso sorry to hear, but lok at it this way at least family has him and not a stranger and maybe in due time you can get that fresh start and thngs will get better god will take care of it. i live in ohio too and having aabad time, what part are you from? i southern ohio. i hate ohio school they suck   take care my 14 going in 9 gradeAre any of you having problems with your children biting other children? My niece's little boy, Colyn, has begun to act out in this manner and, of course, has been dismissed from the aftercare program, a program with approx. 150 children in it. He is six and is in afterschool for two hours waiting for his dad to pick him up. Both parents work. My niece. Rochele, is teaching his teacher how to communicate with Colyn since he does not respond to basic questions that begin with how, when, what. She's spending about 20 minutes before school each day with the teacher in an attempt to work her thru the communication skills with Colyn who is PDD-NOS. She would like to mainstream him, if possible. He's not been biting in school, only in the aftercare program. Anyone having similar problems or have any suggestions for how to correct this problem. At a loss. Sandi bumpOk, this is just UNACCEPTABLE. But you haven't done all you can (although you don't know there's more you can do). I'll bet by the time you're done they'll be reeling and never bother you again, and will give you what you want. I live in Wisconsin and I had to fight for services, so it's not all that it's cracked up to be. This is what I did: Rather than haggle with those making my life miserable, I called the State Dept. of Public Education located in Madison (it's usually in the capital) I asked for the person in charge of kids with Special Needs. I told her my story. Oh, was she sympathetic and ticked at the school!!! She called for me. The Dept. of Ed is directly related to funding and can run investigations on the district. At the same time, I asked the Dept. of Public Ed to hook me up with a parent advocate (they are free). The advocate told me to threaten to go to court/mediation. They have to pay for it. Since they knew they were breaking rules, they freaked out and gave in on every front, and my kids are treated like royalty because they DONT want to mess with me. Can you imagine a mediator listening to, "Well, we're not going to allow her child to progress unless she puts him on Risperdal?" They'd end up in big trouble. There are ways to get the benefits of school (in particular, my son got much less social the year we homeschooled him) than to take him out, isolate him, and try doing it yourself. Even our homsechool group didn't work. The kids we saw, once a week, just wasn't enough. Lucas needed to get used to other kids all the time, moving around from place to place, and dealing with the NT world. I'm glad we fought rather than given in and pulled him out. Maybe the Dept. of Public Ed will allow him to go to another district that has more resources. If your school can't handle him, at THEIR expense they HAVE to bus him and send him to a more appropriate setting. My son goes to a neighboring school and a van comes to get him and drops him off. There are other kids on the van, and he loves it. Don't EVER let t he SD beat you into homeschooling. This is just my opinion, but I don't think it's a good idea to homeschool a spectrum child. They are already used to the family--they need to get used to people in the real world, but YOU and your child deserve to be treated right too. Don't feel like a bad mom who is making waves. Call the Dept. of Education pronto (Monday morning). Ask, "Can they make me put my son on medicine? What are my options? This school is not cooperating. What can I do? Can you help?" No more doing it yourself--they'll step all over you. Not all ASD kids need medicine. I read it was 50/50. My son is med free and does better off meds. You're the mom and you see him and know best. Nobody, either in school or here, has a right to tell you whether or not to use meds. Risperdal made my son sicker than a dog and he started getting involuntary muscle movements, which can be permanant if the child isn't taken off the med. STims made him mean and aggressive, and he's very passive and sweet. Meds aren't always the answer. Interentions worked best for our son, and your son isn't getting the interventions he needs. Maybe he needs an aide, whatever, call the Dept. of Education. Can you feel the steam coming off my fingers as I typet his? I'm furious. (((Hugs))) and go for it. HI I JUST GOT A CALL FROM MY SONS SOCIAL WORKER WHO TOLD ME THAT SHE WANTED TO ASK ABOUT MY SONS HEALTH..YEAH RIGHT SHE WANTED TO KNO ABOUT MY EDUCATION, MY INCOME AND HOW IF iM RAISING MY CHILD IN A SAFE HOME ,THE NERVES OF THIS B? WELL I GAVE HER ALL THE INFO SHE NEEDED ALRIGHT...WHY IS IT THAT THE MOTHER GOES THRU ALL THE QUESTIOINS AND THE FATHERS DONT, I TAKE GOOD CARE OF MY KIDS AND THEY ONLY WANT TO KNO IF IM ABUSING OR NEGLECTING MY SON...PLEASE HELP ME TO UNDERSTAND WHERE SHE WAS COMING FROM....GREAT post, Pammar!!! You're a one parent cheerleading squad, and I'll join you to make it two!!!so give him some camimill tea 3 times a day and tell the school you have him on a mood calming med. thank you for your support in my sons health issiues but we will be hadeling them at home with a dr. care They dont live with you and have no right to Dr patient info have the Dr write a note hes on top of this and it not there concern Oh unless they have a PHD after there name. Been through this myself the school said my son could not return to school without a 30 inpatiant stay at the mental health ward. 2 years of fighting before I learned there langue hes in day treatment now and do okI WISH PUBLIC EDUCATION WOULD USE A GO AT YOUR OWN PACE EDUCATION LIKE ACE OR ALPHA OMEGA. I WISH PEOPLE WILL GET TEXTBOOK LEARNING DOESN'T FIT EVERYONE. WIFE LOVES THE MONTESSORIE METHOD BEST. WE ALSO WISH EDUCATION SHOULD BE TO LEARN THE STUFF TO MASTER IT NOT JUST PASS TESTS. I WILL DISAGREE ON HS ASD KIDS. GET YOUR CHILD IN AFTER SCHOOL ORGINIZATIONS HELPS SOCIALIZE THEM WITH ALL KINDS OF KIDS. HOME SCHOOL KIDS CAN LEARN AT THEIR OWN PACE WHICH IS A REAL PLUS TO US. THE BEST SOLUTION FOR A KID TO US WHO STRUGGLES ACADEMICELLY IS SE FULL TIME OR SE FOR ACADEMICS AND REGULAR FOR PE/MUSIC/RECESS/ART/COMPUTERS. AIDS ARE HARD TO GET CAUSE SUPPOSED LACK OF FUNDS. I SAY WHOLE FOOD SUPPLEMENTS FOR ASD KIDS. INPLACE OF MEDS CAUSE OF THE FOOD ISSUES ASSOCIATED WITH ASD. OUR SON IS IN HORSE RIDEING THERAPY. SCOUTS, SOCCER. HE LOVES ALL 3. hello, i wonder when pam was comming out, i been wondering where oy been i been fighting along time and ohio is ver hard to fight and the sped ed dept told me go else ware and i ben use and advocate that not doing much my son just got suspened today and tued b/c of stress and kids that are teasing him and me being in the hoispital dr and and hopital all said he need an aid and there fighting me on this one. i just go out of the hospital and my son got upset and said he blow thwe school up b/c the kids wouldnt leave him alone andi was in the hsopital my son asp and bipolar and then there was a sub that wouldnt explain her self how she wanted him to do the work and he wrote what he thought she wanted and then he got upset and said clean room and said about goals and he didnt understand said he hate to clean room and want to shoot people he said he didnt mean to but he was so irrated she would help him, so he just statrted to write anything down to just to get her off his back. so he got 2 day of ssuspection, i hate ohio school they dont care i heard from someone else that you pam got good result in your area in wisc and they have good school up there is that true? has to better then here in ohioThe biggest thing I have noticed each district uses different publishers there fore each thing depending on that publisher is also taught at different age levels. I found this by looking at different publishers for supplements for home. Remember all public education is bound by federal laws which says your child should be doing this by age________fill in the blank. To me no different than the rateing scale dr.'s uses to chart the kids when they receive a physical. I thought this might interest you all hear. I hope this food for thought might help all here. brent you alwasys do good post too, i forgot what stae are you in? how are things going for your child? thanksI'm new but just had to jump in here about homeschool. I hs my son for year n'half. After he went from a small private school where he was thriving academically to a ps where he began regressing both behaviorally and academically. At this point we were just in the process of having him tested, not through school but privately. The school refused to make the slightest of accommodations until an IEP was in place. I had to make a decision to either expend my energy educating my child or fighting a school district. Since I have an MA in education, I chose to educate him. After about three months of being home, our behavioral ped couldn't believe the change in my son. For third grade we chose to send him to a different school district, his teacher made the comment that he has adjusted wonderfully, is socially connecting with other children, participating in classroom discussion and is academically on track (although he struggles with reading and spelling.) She went on to say, "he's not as withdrawn as other homeschooled kids I've had." Hmmmm, most homeschooled kids I know are very bright, outgoing individuals. Although having my asd son at home was challenging, and I had many a day where I wished it were someone else dealing with his frustration, it was also very rewarding. One of the most positive aspects is to tailor a program that fits your child instead of making your child fit a program. For example, timed test really increase my sons frustration level. He's been told at school ( and I've been told) that unless he is timed he can't recieve a certificate for that level. So he endures the timed test because he wants the certificate. As a homeschooler time is not of the essence but rather do you know the facts...hmmmm, what a concept for education. His principal tells me that he (my son) needs to feel accomplished by completing the timed multiplication test. I say when he sits down and completes the test in HIS time (which at home is about 1 minute 20 seconds while at school he must complete it in one minute) and gets all the problems right - trust me he feels accomplished - he is up on his tiptoes jumping up and down saying "Look mom, I did great!" I get so tired of trying to make children fit into a "normed" box. I read an article not to long ago theorizing the thought that autism may not be the disability but rather the disability lies within the society that they must exist. In other words if our world was "things" oriented rather than people oriented who of us would have the disability????? YOU ARE 100% CORRECT THIS IS WHY i SAY PUBLIC EDUCATION WHAT A JOKE. SOCIETY TRYS TO MAKE PEOPLE THE SAME WHICH FRANKLY i AM SO SICK OF SEEING.SOME HS KIDS COULD OUT SMART OTHERS. i WISH OUR PLOITICIANS GOT THIS ALSO. i SAY IF THEY THINK PUBLIC EDUCATION IS GREAT WHY ARE THEIR KIDS NOT IN IT. SAME WITH SCHOOL EMPLOYEES. SOME HOME SCHOOL THEIR KIDS. WE ARE ONLY HAPPY SINCE OUR CHILD MOVED TO SE FULL TIME IN A DIFFERENT SCHOOL. SOCIETY WILL PAY FOR THOSE WHO'S EDUCATION ISN'T FIRM WHEN THEY LEAVE.The person does also.The problem with avoiding the norm is that, as adults, our kids either have to meet the norm or have no normal life. After all, that's what normal means. Below is a very sad but all-too-true article written recently in the Washington Post and posted by someone else here. It think it's important enough to post for everyone to read: Willing, Able -- and Unemployable By Ann Bauer
My 18-year-old son shambles. There's no other word for it. He walks like an old man: scraping the soles of his feet on the floor, tilting his head to one side and tucking it into the space between his neck and shoulder. What's more, he's mammoth. At 6-foot-3, with at least two inches of moppy hair, he towers over nearly everyone he meets. Because of a penchant for sugary coffee drinks and Qdoba's 3-Cheese Nachos with grilled sirloin, which he buys with the money his grandparents send him, he weighs around 250 pounds. But these are the least of my worries. Today, what I fret about most is the fact that after two years of submitting applications, taking tests and going in for interviews, he cannot get a job. Andrew has autism. He was nonverbal from age 4 until 6, and he speaks now, but only with effort. He's also one of the most acute, sensitive young men I've ever known. He is superb at math and chess, weak in the literary arts. Lost when it comes to anything social, from dinner-table conversation to romance. Mostly, he just flashes a persistent, crooked smile. Above all, he's eerily, compulsively responsible. I was a single mother for five years, and when I left the house, I put him in charge. I would come back to a spotless kitchen and a pile of laundered and folded clothes on my bed. When he was 16, I told him it was time to get a part-time job. I took him first to the coffeehouse where I wrote each morning, introduced him to the manager and took my usual table. But even from a distance, I could see things weren't going well. The "interview" took three minutes, ending abruptly when the manager offered Andrew a cup of coffee and my son -- ever conscious of the rules -- insisted on paying for it, fumbling with his wallet and spilling coins all over the floor. I switched coffeehouses and tactics. Next, I took Andrew to Target, a company known for its history of working with disabled people. Only there's a catch: I was told when I called that their policy was to employ "visibly handicapped" workers. People in wheelchairs qualify, as do those with Down syndrome. My son, with his eccentricities and halting speech, does not. What's more, Target administers a computerized psychological screening test designed to eliminate people on the outer edges of the bell curve. People like Andrew. It turns out many companies that hire hourly workers now use this method to winnow the candidate pool. Questions such as "What do you think is the most important quality in a friend?" flash on a screen. At 17, my son had never made a friend. This was the source of his disability. He had no idea how to answer. Perhaps, I decided, a "starter" job was in order, somewhere he could gain experience and ease into working. So I called a local nursing home that was only too happy to have him volunteer. Twice a week, Andrew spent his afternoons there, visiting elderly people and trundling a library cart from room to room. The residents grew to rely on him. He was unfailingly patient and kind. Yet, when a job came open in dining services -- for someone to take meals to bed-bound residents -- he was turned down, the volunteer coordinator told me, because the hiring manager thought him odd. Recently, I married a wonderful man whose belief in Andrew rivals mine. "But he's so smart and responsible," said the new stepfather when I explained our now two-year-old predicament. "Don't worry. We'll find him a job." It turned out he had a friend -- second-shift supervisor at a factory -- who was willing to coach a very timid new hire. Everything had been arranged: The high school Andrew attends scheduled him for morning classes and work-study in the afternoon; I'd given Andrew a car and even coaxed him into getting a haircut. The first order of business was to go to the employment agency that handled the factory's paperwork, take a simple math test and fill out a W-9. Andrew aced the test, completed the forms he was handed and was told he'd be on staff within a week. Then my husband's friend called, his voice breaking with frustration. He couldn't hire Andrew, after all; the agency had refused to process the application. One of the screeners there was uncomfortable with my son: She had called him -- he apologized before saying the words -- "a potential liability." Several people have told us that this, finally, is an actionable offense. We could go after the agency for discrimination. But to what end? Legal action wouldn't get Andrew, now nearly 19, working. What it would do is force him to defend himself and his abilities in court -- this young man who's still reluctant to speak at school. My son is one of many: Some time in the next decade, the Autism Society of America estimates, the number of people in this country who have autism will hit 4 million. I wonder if, when these children reach the age of 18, they too will be unemployable. Or if, perhaps, the work we're doing with Andrew now will mean a different experience for those who follow. Ann Bauer is the author of the novel "A Wild Ride Up the Cupboards." Not trying to be controversial - I get the point of the article; however, I must ask What IS normal? I think the author is right that as Autism awareness increases society will adjust its norm; and it will take pioneers like the Bauers to pave the road for others. Its just like any other struggle - women struggling to vote, the black struggle of the 60's, the struggle to get the ADA laws passed, etc...at some point all these groups were denied employment because they were deemed too "different" or odd. It took a societal shift in the "norm" to open up opportunities and usually it was a few lone souls who made the difference - ie. Rosa Parks. I'm all for helping our children understand and function in society as best they can BUT my point is that the way they get there does not all have to be the same which is what institutional learning usually provides. Great book by an awesome teacher is "The Way They Learn - How to discover and teach to your child's strengths" by Cynthia Ulrich Tobias. I will always be a proponent of homeschooling - it is NOT for all but is a wonderful option for others. My oldest is 13 and has always been in the ps with great success, but for my younger son it was what he needed to give him the edge he needed to succeed. i must say, i went thru life with a gr8 mom who taught me to think for myself, be yourself, and not worry what others thought! i still live my life that way. i never want to be normal or thought of as that........even though i went to public school with lots of normal! i have adhd, ocd, and have had my bouts with sensory issues as long as i can remember. upuntil my son i went out and was a very successful career woman in a not female workplace. i made it to the top and was the first female in the state to ever do what i did. i never bowed to persons idea of normal nor did i ever care and i will raise my son the exact same way. embrace his strengths, find his 'quirkyness' endearing and find ways to use it to his advantage=rest of the normal world be dammd! i understand the thinking of we want them to fit in to prosper but it doesnt have to be that way. we just need to teach them self confidence and self esteem and to love and respect themselves.mbrogue - AMEN! I've always said if everybody is going east - I'm going west!I will tell you who will judge whether or not your adult ASD child is "normal." The people in charge of hiring him. His co-workers. The neighbors. The YMCA. Church. The college he may want to attend. As you can see in the above article, it is nearly impossible to get and keep a job if a person is perceived to be abnormal. Co-workers complain and make life miserable for the "not-normal" person. The neighbors call the police about what they perceive is "wierd," (i.e. "dangerous" behavior -- for example, it is one thing for a 7yo to hang out in his yard staring and rocking. It is seen as something COMPLETELY different when a 27yo does the same) The Y has very little tolerance for out-of-norm behavior -- my son was told he couldn't come back to a teen swim because the Y administrator thought the fact that Jamie (14 at the time) tapped on people's shoulders in the pool so he could say "hi" to them was "inappropriate touching." Church people, well you know... And colleges? All those "accommodations" our kids get thru HS no longer apply in college. Each accommodation has to be officially approved by the individual college and mostly they only approve things to help with physical disabilities. They want ALL kids to take the tests and meet the academic criteria in the SAME way. It is perfectly fine for us parents to love our kids and accept their oddnesses. It is fine for us to think that they will be happy living alone at home as adults (most of them would be). But if we think that the outside world is EVER going to accept "odd" autistic behaviors in public, we are deluding ourselves. The last bastion of prejudice is against people who are "abnormal." Ask any obese person. Yes, what is considered "within the norm" has grown over the years as people have become aware that it's OK to be somewhat different. But most of our kids (and I'm not just talking about the most severely affected, either) will be too far outside the norm to be accepted by general society. When our kids are in school, the schools HAVE to accept them. Once they are 21 and in the outside world, that is no longer the case. People are free to be as vile to them as they want, short of physically hurting them. And people ARE vile. Institutions are vile. The ONLY protection we can give our kids in preparing them for the adult world is to teach them to be as "normal" as possible so that they can "pass" as adults. This is nearly impossible to do, but SOME kids manage it. The ability to function independently in life totally depends on how well our kids can learn to act like NT people. That will not change in our lifetime. Society depends on its members conforming to social norms. Down Syndrome kids learn to do this, for example, which is why they are accepted in the workplace. Unless the education of an autistic child includes PLENTY of exposure to the outside world at a very young age, the autistic child will not have the opportunity to learn what comes naturally to all other human beings. Whatever we do to get our kids to the point where they can conform to ALL social norms is what we parents have to do. If that can be done through homeschooling, fine. If the local schools can do it, fine. If you have to force the local schools to find a better place to educate your autistic child to the point of independence, fine. But the most important job for us parents to do if we WANT an independent life for our child (not everyone does) is to get that child to learn, as soon as possible, how to not act autistic. Too bad. I'd hate to be told that I couldn't act like myself. But that's the deal for the autistic. If they want to lead a "normal" life, they have to conform to the norms. i want to say that im sorry for the person who wrote the article and for tzoya for where they live. not all places are created equal! now public schools.......im not a fan. i remember being picked on in elementary for sensory issues and hyperness and being called all kinds of names like spaz, freak, hypergirl, silverware girl....i just didnt care. but at this point, where i am ive got to say the world here is more supportive. if you just find your niche......like getting any job it takes time. my uncles aspie and was vp of a bank; he left on his own terms becus he just didnt like the customer contact but they didnt care he was severly socially impaired, finger fidgeted, couldnt make face contact, had odd interests, etc. he works at a local com. making circuit boards and loves it and does well for himself and everyone likes him. my chuch is awesome! my friends are great. some gym/kiddie programs offer free play here for not typical children. i guess here is a whole different world. its dog eat dog in the work field and unless you are one on one with customers its a little more about who does the job best without taking everyone down.I WILL DISAGREE ON SOCIETY A JUSTING PLEASE THEY VIEW SCOUTS FOR NERDS.SCOUTS WILL TEACH SOMEONE WAY MORE THAN WHAT SPORTS DOES. A ISSUE i SEE IS STAFF WHO DO NOTHING ABOUT THE NAME CALLEING AND PUNISH KIDS WHO DEFEND THEM SELF. THIS IS WRONG. COLLEGE LIFE ISN'T FOR EVERYONE SO WHY IS TRADE SCHOOL LOOKED AS UNEQUAL PAY WISE. TODAY IT'S HARD TO LIVE ON LESS THAN 60,000. A YEAR ANYWHERE. WE DO IT. I JUST THINK A IEP SHOULD BE GOALS TO BRING UP TO LEVEL NOT ACCOMIDATE WHICH LONG TERM JUST GETS THE KID THRU. MANY KIDS BAIRLY CAN READ WHEN LEAVING HS THAT WORRIES US. WHAT i HATE IS US PARENTS HAVEING TO PICK UP FOR WHAT THE SCHOOL ISN'T DOING. TO US THAT IS CRAP. ANOTHER THING IS IN THE NEAR FUTURE ONLY SEVERE KIDS WILL RECEIVE HELP. I FEEL THIS IS A WAY TO CUT SE FUNDING. THIS DOESN'T HELP THE KID AT ALL. I BELIEVE WE WILL HAVE THE DROP OUT RATE SHOOT BACK UP.UNTIL POLITICIANS CARE ENOUGH TO HAVE THEIR OWN KIDS IN THE SYSTEM AND QUIT TRYING TO MAKE PEOPLE FIT A PROGRAM PUBLIC EDUCATION WILL STINK. I SAY POLITICIANS CARE LESS CAUSE IF IT WORKS THAT GREAT WHY DON'T THEY SEND THEIR OWN KIDS. i agree 100 brent we have to do what the teacher get pd for, and now my son you belive he was ask to do a story so he didn on a playtstay game of his and it was called rachet and calnk and they called this was volient and they told him to do a story and he only did what he knew how to this is sad they take his story and turned like he was thing of doing something, and he was onoy talking about the weapons and how they saved the main perosn of the game and when you have a child with autism they trying to reacll detail by detail, i dont know he on a 4-4 grade level and in 9th grade and they went craxy over. why me, i thought of home school but when i get back to health he have to go go schoo b/c i cant leave him at home.Medication is not a requirement to attend school. Asd kids need behavior therapy and any other's they need to help out. We use primrose oil to control hormones here. We need to return to teach to master lessons not teach to pass tests. Valerian root is relaxing herb also. Never back down to staff at school or se this got our son the iep he had this year. In first sumester he went from a 2.8 to 4.0 reading level in self contained class room. Dr.'s claim he is bp/adhd. This was his best year yet. How about 50% SE/50% mainstream. I would advise you check into ECOT. ECOT is an Ohio charter school. I have an autistic son and he goes to this school. It is an online school. You can always get your son into activities for social skills. Good luck[QUOTE=NelleS42]
Hi everyone, I need some advice or just to vent I'm not even sure at this point. Last week my son went off Risperdal with Drs. aproval. I showed the Dr. Jared behavioral reports before and after Risperdal (school was unaware he was even on it) and the reports score-wise were idenicle. Jared had been gaining 5 lbs a month again and his behavior was still pretty much the same after the first week. I think he tried to show the school the first week that he was changed with the magic pills they wanted him on so bad. It didn't really help so the act wore off real quick. At his last IEP I was told Jared will be permently kept in the behavioral unit because I refuse to medicate him. SO HARD NOT TO SCREAM HE IS ON THE MEDS DON'T YOU SEE MR. MELLOW IS BACK NOW? I can't beleive they didn't notice the gorging food habits again. I'm thinking of getting him in a gym this year he is to tempermental for competitive sports. His reputation proceeds him. I hope this dosen't sound like I am not trying with my son he really had no benifits from Risperdal. I am working with a new Child Physciatrist who is looking into what made Jared ODD. He is looking at childhood trama and possible attachment disorder. He says we need to know more background to know what drugs will be most effective. He has also ordered ink blot tests and spectrum testing (to humor me). We hope to have answers before new school year. I was told at Jared most recent IEP meeting that his outlook is SBU until Jr. High and High School were he will be in SPED until he graduates or I coroperate and Medicate him again. I WILL NEVER ALLOW THAT! Jared has a very high IQ and is already able to do 12 grade math. I can't see wasting such a brillant mind because they can't handle him. I am serously considering Home Schooling again. The school promised me 2 years in the SBU and he would be mainstreamed now it's never going to happen? I already gave them 3 years to prove their way is better. When they pulled Jared out of mainstream 1st grade they said if I attempt to pull him out to Home School they would take me to court because Jared lacked needed socailization skills. Now the school tells me if I DON'T GET JARED UNDER CONTROL AND HE HAS A VIOLENT OUTBURST I CAN BE SUED AND I LOOSE EVERYTHING. He has never struck another child but he has teachers when they try to physically remove him. He probably will hit a student the first time he witnesses a bully in action (he did that at my sisters house with a neighborhood bully). But Jared has a strick code of justice. He feels he is always being wronged. I have had Jared to a dozen DRs. since he was 6. Most of them dismiss him when the drugs don't work or their counseling is useless. I'm at my wits end. When I was in Akron for one day they suspended Jared again and his dad was contacted and told it was for disrespect. They didn't tell me yet (they have my cell phone# but called his). I have to get to the bottom of this on Monday YIPEE! I know my attitude is getting bad but I think I should just pull him from public school and attempt home schooling. SPED classes will just let him be lazy and waste his abilities. ANY SUGESTIONS WOULD BE WELCOMED. I KNOW WHATEVER I DO THE SCHOOL WILL OPOSE. Sorry so long. Nelle [/QUOTE] yeah tell me about being fed up with the mainstream schools. My son has been diagnosed with autism by 3 different doctors and the school is still fighting me. They say they need some evaluation report from these doctors they have written letters and told them , but they still dont want to give him what he needs we go to school for 2 hours a day, and thats it because they say they don't have a teacher that can work one on one with him like he needs. He also needs communication cards which has not been provided . I did get a call today from a advocacy place and they said they will be there with me the 10 of october 2007 , to see what they can help me with . I don't think it's fair because your child has autism he can't go to school all day because he has meltdowns as we call them here.[QUOTE=wsrdpc]I would advise you check into ECOT. ECOT is an Ohio charter school. I have an autistic son and he goes to this school. It is an online school. You can always get your son into activities for social skills. Good luck[/QUOTE]
where do i find the charter school online at my email smilesmo@embarqmail.com Daniel's education is now at home with his Mom. He is doing work per subject by what grade level he can do in each subject. His main problem areas are reading/lang. which all builds for the rest. He is doing on grade level math/spelling though. We even bought the Lexia program he used last year in his Se class. He does still has a bad attitude. He's doing soccer/horse rideing therapy/Boyscouts. Oct. with the homeschool group we are going to a diary farm. 1 day a week some homeschool moms we take our kids to a park with our lunches. Sadly not all staff are trained how to help all kinds of kids with special needs. We also removed him cause 2 kids threatned his life here. No punishment for them. This is a load of crap. Public school kids some have terrible social skills/manners. Here this is a small town and the Natives are #1 here.Even the talk of medication for school is elegal! This was done to us also.The staff need to teach to master stuff not just to teach to test. This is why many kids leave Se still who still have poor reading/lang/ skills. The real issue is Se kids learning styles are different than regular kids. In our countey the main big town can't do anymore Se evaluations cause the state says there are to may as is. Who are they to decide that? We need to find out why more Se kids are around more than before. I know how all you here feel cause we know our kids best and what they need and there is always a excuse with staff. If need be tell them get what my child needs or else just go strait to heareing. PS stinks these days! Ignore the schools comments. Anyone can homeschool who chooses to it's not agianst the law in the usa!Remember it's your child and if you dislike the iep don't sign it. No school can decide for you what is best. Your the parent's. I would un enroll and homeschool him or move him to another school. Know you right's. I know Daniel hated school cause his needs were not cared for well. The staff is who makes the school. Who threatned you smiles mo, I would file a complaint with your state Education association. Noone but us decides what's best for our 2 kids.well, you are right that school talking meds is illegal, unless its for something life threatening such as seizures or diabetes/insulin. however, its getting done everywhere across this country and can date back over 20 years. that is purely your decision as a parent or guardian. they also can't discriminate against him for it. is sounds to me like your school is not providing the best FREE AND APPROPRIATE EDUCATION that your son needs!!! In otherwords, ask around, find the best advocate you can afford, contact the disability law center, do your homework and start checking out private schools which can accomodate a child with the needs of your son, and make certain that their school program is individualized and builds on strengths. so, if your child is a whiz at math make certain that the private school has your beliefs, educate him on math at the level he is on. if his behaviors are light years behind make sure that they start working on that level, perhaps with discreet trial, or positive behavioral therapies. and just ask about how the school feels about medication. youd be surprised, but most dont push meds. it will not be the easiest fight, but it looks to me as though with some therapists and doctors evals, thoughts on whats going on and maybe one or any of them showing up to an IEP along with an advocate you may just have what it takes to have the public school publicly place him. my thoughts and prayers are with you and good luck! Schools can talk about meds, they can suggest getting an evaluation for meds, they can extoll the virtues of meds. However, the CANNOT REQUIRE THE CHILD BE ON MEDS. What they can require is that a child's behavior be appropriate for the placement he is in. If not putting a child on meds means the child's behavior is highly disruptive, the school can seek a change in placement. Of course, the school MUST conduct a Functional Behavioral Assessment and implement a positive Behavior Intervention Plan FIRST. But if it's found that educational techniques do not help the child meet minimal behavioral standards, the school has a right and an obligation to the other students to change the disruptive child's placement into a more restrictive environment where, presumably, the child can get extra attention.Sarah, Thankyou I'll Pack MY BAGS. I think they just love giving IEP's for the funding following through on them is another matter. All 3 of my boys have currant IEP's with no positive results. Sarah I wish it were that easy and simple to move. I have heard Wisconsin is one of the best places for services... These schools make me SICK! Nelle I wouldn't keep him on risperdal or any other med if there isnt any improvement PERIOD! Save the documentation the teacher fills out..... ask the Dr for a copy because thats proof down the road. You need to call the Ohio coalation for children with disabilities... Thats how I got the advocate who is trying to help me...... http://www.ocecd.org/ The Mission of the OCECD is to ensure that every Ohio child with special needs receives a free, appropriate, public education in the least restrictive environment to enable that child to reach his/her highest potential. Ohio Coalition for the Education of Children with Disabilities Executive Office
http://www.ohioschoolfunding.org Developed as an educational tool and a way to solicit ideas, the site intends to collect comments about the seven key issues cited by the majority opinion of the Ohio Supreme Court in the DeRolph II decision. ------------------------------------------------------------ ------------------- http://www.nwoserrc.k12.oh.us ------------------------------------------------------------ ----------------------------------------- DARN IT!!!! Everything Else was just Lost! I will add more soon! Hey Nelle, so sorry to hear about the problems with your school, what a bunch of idiots. In no way can they force you to medicate your child, and in many cases, meds aren't always the magic wand. If you really want to get their goat, have them do a functional behavioral analysis, have them follow him around for a week, all day, everyday and right down exactly what happens in a course of a day, that way they may find what triggers an episode. They can't just suspend a child for a day or so because he's disrespectful, part of his diagnosis includes the inability to read social cues so if a teacher is frustrated with his behaviors, he's not able to pick up on that fact until it's gone into a disciplinarian mode and he probably feels frustrated because he might not understand what caused the situation in the first place. where your child is obviously at a higher learning level, he should be in an enviorment that nurtures is abilities. Under federal law, he is to supplied an appropreaite education. I would contact your states board of education. they can supply you with an advocate, free of charge. In my opinion, a child should never be pyshically removed from a situation unless done so by a parent or known care giver, most of our kids suffer from the fight, flight or fright syndrome associated with sid. if some one is physically putting hands on your child, ofcourse he's going to try to defend himself, it's a natural instinct. i wouldn't tip my hand at first about him being on meds, I'd save that until they give you ( or attempt to) a final threat of meds or else....bring a video camara so we can all see their faces! or take my approach, a religious objection to mind altering med ( haven't had to use it but in the back of my mind incase the day every comes i highly doubt they'll want to take on any type of arguement with that) Homeschooling is a tough issues, I see both pros and cons to every side and like i say, you know your child best and I have no doubt you'll do what's best for him. I know achild in my kids school is homeschooled but attends for gym and art, perhaps that's a reasonable request, you'll provide the education he needs yet he'll still gets the socialization he needs. p.s up here in ma, we get pretty good services and all 4 seasons!!!- Eileen http://www.ode.state.oh.us/board/ (OHIO State Board Of Education) Ohio Department of Education Building, 25 S. Front St., 7th Floor, Columbus, Ohio 43215-4183. ------------------------------------------------------------ ---------------------- http://www.redandgreenchoices.com/about.htm Behavior plan (might be too young though) http://www.wrightslaw.com/advoc/articles/DRAFT_Letters.html (letter writing) http://www.disabilityrights.org/appendix.htm (disability rights) http://www.wrightslaw.com/ http://www.wrightslaw.com/info/sec504.accoms.mods.pdf (Laws and advocacy) http://rsaffran.tripod.com/legal.html#top (legal and advocacy services) http://olrs.ohio.gov/asp/pub_TheBook.asp http://olrs.ohio.gov/ASP/HomePage.asp (Ohio Legal Rights Service) http://fcs.k12.in.us/SEForms/PROCEDURAL%20SAFEGUARDS.htm (Parent's Rights) http://thelinkto.com/parentmentor/ (Parent Mentors of Ohio) http://www.autism-pdd.net/links/ohio.html (Ohio State Resources) http://www.ldonline.org/ld_indepth/iep/success_ieps.html (writing IEP's for Success) http://www.geocities.com/KIDSHEART2000/IEP.html (Preparing for an IEP) http://www.bridges4kids.org/states/oh.htm (state of Ohio) ------------------------------------------------------------ ----------------------- Accommodation
For students with exceptional needs, what changes can be made in instruction and teaching delivery to enhance student participation and learning? Each area below is a direct link to general classroom accommodations.
Non-readers Physical Impairments Sensory Impairments Attention/Behavior Gifted Each disability below is a direct link to general classroom accommodations specific for that disability. Autism Deaf - Blind Deaf/Hard of Hearing Emotional and Behavioral Disorder Mild Intellectual Disability Orthopedic Impairment Other Health Impairments: Attention Deficit Disorder/Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder Tourette Syndrome Significant Development Delay Specific Learning Disability Speech - Language Impairment Traumatic Brain Injury Visual Impairment Modification
For students with significant disabilities, what changes can be made in instruction and teaching delivery to allow students to participate in classroom instruction while working on IEP objectives and off grade level QCC standards. Below are suggested modifications correlated to the procedures of this lesson plan. hiya nelle i am having the same problem over here in the uk . i with approvel from doctor have taken jordon off of his risperdal as i dont see any point with pumping him full of meds just so they can keep him in a corner etc . anyway his teacher was fine but the education board (they are the ones who decide what school or what help ur child is allowed even though they have never met the child they just look at notes etc) any way they have said that i am not allowed to take him off the meds as they expect him to be controllable etc. i have taken him of the meds any way and as they are saying that they cant put him in a school next year(after 11 they have to go to a new school)with special needs i will be home ed with jordon. his school and all the docs are saying that if jordon went into main stream it would be the worst thing they could do so im gonna keep him at home and to hell with the education board . all i can suggest is if u want to home educate then do it at the end of the day they have to face the fact he is on the spectrum and this is how he behaves . keep fighting and give them one hell of a tough time (easier said than done i know ) If you do decide to go the Homeschooling route - this site is an awesome resource for state's laws. http://www.hslda.org/laws/default.asp This isn't the first time I've heard of a school trying to bully a parent into medicating a child and it's total BS! Thanks Everybody, I talked to Jared's teacher today he was very incoraportive. He was very abrubt and wouldn't tell me if he noticed any improvements with Jared's behavior. He had a class to teach. I still have know idea why he was suspended just that he was rude and disrespectful. I was told he should have been suspended Wed. but they had a Sub. They always have problems with Jared when they have a Sub. I did want to clarify Jared has no spectrum Dx. I have had every other lable but none on the spectrum of a PDD. I am insisting on testing because he does have some AS behaviors. They just tell me not possible Jared started preschool with speach and other delays. I have told the Drs. Jared spoke early and well but quit speaking right around turning 2. He resumed speaking right after his third birthday and was right back at sentences. I think preschool testing hurt my cause because he wouldn't talk for the testers and they noted it as 12mo speach abilities and they were not sure of his comprension level. The testing was so bad I was afraid they wouldn't even let him in. Instead they put him in preschool and headstart with special services an option of ST that he didn't need because his speach returned one month after testing. In preschool I was constantly told Jared could not transition for activities had huge tuntrums and chose to ignore almost every request made of him. Difiant, Noncompliant, Oppisitional, Tantrums and Inmature Behaviors were reported daily. He was to dificult for the regular school so in first grade he was removed and started SBU Speical Behavioral Unit. Were he has been in a different school every year (they keep moving the unit.) I also wanted to add Jared is very bright he learned to read while disrupting everyone elses learning. He is also been on the Honor Roll straight A's most of this year. Got a few B's with them suspending him 3 times in a 9 weeks period. Once while on his meds. I wanted to thank everybody for their support and links. I have my work cut out for me. I spoke to the Special Services Director (ready to go over her head if she acted like his teacher) but she was very nice even though she didn't like not being aware Jared was medicated. I did tell her Jared is still working with Drs. and counslers and she agreed we should meet again in August for final decision of placement. Thanks Again Everybody. I think it's commendable to have him tested and I'll share a quick story with you, a very good friend of mine works for dss with adolesence and was at a meeting with one of her kids and the school for her EIP, they kept bringing up her issues and my friend requested that they test her for ASD, the poor thing has been moved around for years so she gathered her case files and met with the psychologist, the testing was done and sure enough, BINGO. they looked at all of her reports/history did evals, interviews and testing and came up with pdd. The reason I bring this up is she stated when they were talking at the meeting about this all she could think of was Connor. She always said that if we didn't push the issues, he'd probably be put off as " difficult" or Behavior disorder. Eileen, Thanks I have seen aleast 3 different Drs. now that I have worked up the courage to ask for the testing and except this last Dr. they always make me feel stupid for even asking. I can't tell you how many times I've seen a post and thought that sounds just like my Jared. His behavior is very different than Takoda's in most ways but alike in others and they seem to have a bond. Jared is also having a bad week because my mother went to Alaska to visit with her newest baby granddaughter. He hates it when things are different and he loves grandma and is very posessive of her. She kept saying she might not come back and he is young enough he doesn't reliaze that just MOM.
Hello everyone. I found this sight while researching PDD for someone I know. I came across this forum and I can't help but want to suggest something to you guys. I admit I am not totally educated to what you're children are diagnosed with (but am learning) but I do know that there are websites and email groups that are talking about exactly these issues. I want to encourage you to do an internet search on Indigo Children and/or Crystal Children. Indigo's are commonly misdiagnosed as ADD and Crystals are usually diagnosed as Autistic. Either way, these sites/groups give advice into your children and ways to help them WITHOUT medication. The group I'm on, indigo-parents@yahoogroups.com is a wonderfully supportive and informative group and we see that the current public school systems are NOT helping our kids. I think you will find alot of answers and advice and hopefully, some peace of mind! Love and light to you wonderful parents. I wish you luck! You can email me personally if there's anything I can help with! Dawn. What does that have to do with autism or pdd-nos? My kids don't have unusually large eyes. And I do search through google. It said they are often misdiagnosed with adhd or add. Jeffrey has autism, along with adhd, add, and pdd-nos. Gabe has pdd-nos, along with hearing processing delay, overall global delays, asthma, and allergies. And if you think you can handle my kids without medication then you are more welcome to it. Meds is not the first choice with my kids. And since Jeffrey has seizures obviously he cannot be medication free. And with Gabe having obviously he can't be medication free either. We went the medication route after everything else had been eliminated. Tammy Now that I've had some time to read this thread, I feel the need torespond. First off, whenever I hear about a school mishandling a child that doesn't fit into their "cookie cutter" mold, I get very worked up. As some on this site may know, I went through a one year lawsuit with Los Angeles Unified over one school's handling of my son, and boy did I learn a lot about rights during that time. I also learned that there are many wonderful public schools that work very hard to accomodate "special" kids and give them an opportunity to acheive at their highest potential. Michelle, a few things standout to me about your situation. First of all, the school has absolutely no legal right to make a determination about your son's future education beyond the guidelines of his current IEP. For them to tell you that he will be placed in X program in high school, when he hasn't even finished elementary school is at the very least insensitive, and at the worst, in noncompliance with their obligation to provide him a FAPE. Let them know that I'd like to borrow their crystal ball when they are done with it, since they seem know how to read the future! Also, please don't be so quick to dismiss SPED. I, too, have a gifted child, but without SPED support, he would be in nearly as much trouble as your boy. In fact, he was, which is what led to my lawsuit. He was at a school like yours that just didn't want to deal with him, refused to acknowledge his disabilities (Asperger's & LD) and found it easier to send him home on a regular basis. What I did, in addition to settling with the district for educational therapy to help make up for the wasted year and teach strategies, was to find a wonderful public school in my area that embraces SPED, and they literally helped put my very damaged kid back together and on the right path. They were also very intrumental in helping with appropriate placement at middle school so we wouldn't find ourselve in the same situation again. These wonderful teacher's and Principal immediately recognized my child's gifts and potential, and customized an education plan that worked beautifully for everyone. They mainstreamed him (with an aide) in all subjects but language arts (his LD) with the most appropriate teacher for each subject. Not only did he get handpicked teacher's, but it helped transition him for middle school, which he starts next month. For language arts, he worked 1:1 with the SPED teacher in a quiet lab attached to the SPED class. I have to believe that there are other schools out there willing to go the extra mile for kids that need things arranged differently. Please contact all of the schools in your area, talk to the Principals, tell them what you need for your child, and see what they suggest. As far as meds are concerned, I agree with Tabitha. When you have a caring and understanding doctor, exercise patience and find the right meds. Go and see every psychiatrist in the phone book until you find one you feel comfortable with. I really feel that it is a combination of proper school placement and meds that give these kids the best chance to achieve at their highest potential and lead productive, well-balanced lives. My son notices the difference the meds make, and never complains about taking them. I don't believe the Indigo/Crystal Children theory even warrants a response. Good luck to you, and please feel free to ask questions anytime! Tammy, I'm sorry if I've offended you. Obviously there are children who need their medication. But, there are alot of children out there who don't and the teachers and/or doctors think that they do. The parents agree that they don't and are looking for answers. Those people were who my message was intended for. The sites I recomended acknowledge that medication isn't always the answer and they offer alternative ways to help the kids. If something doesn't resonate with you, just disregard it, as it may be helpful to someone else. Simply wanting to help, not to step on anyones toes... Dawn. Nelle, I have yet to place my boys in school because until they turn three, they do not get placed in school. They receive services in the home which is good for me now. The only advice I can offer is that you need to make sure you keep record of allthe letters, reports, evaluations, phone calls that are done. The decision for medication is yours and your doctors, not the school. They can suggest but cannot force you to do it. They tried to do the same to my little bro for his ADD but the meds made him sick and not eat so my mom took him off them and found a natural alternative that worked equally as well. She then put him in a private school for children with ADD and he's been doing great ever since. You also need to look into the certifications of alot of the teachers in his school. Alot of times we find that the aides are not certified in handling children with special needs and when they cannot tolerate it, they send the child home. When I was researching the local schools in my area, alot of the aides do not have special needs certification, just the basic DCF required certificates and licenses. As for his teacher, I'd like to give him a piece of my mind. Have him strapped in a chair and be forced to experince what your angel feels on a daily basis. Maybe then he'll realize, not all children are the same. I'll pray for you and your family. I know you'll find the answers you need. Hope this helps, Krystal
If this behaviour is causing your son serious psycological injury (it is!) ask your son's psychiatrist to place him into the dsitricts home hospital program. They will fight and buck like there was no tomorow, because they no longer have control of the situation. This program SAVED our son's life, under similar if not worse circumstances. The district cannot oppose the recommendation of a private psychiatrist in this matter, and the placement will be good until your doctor indicates otherwise. Assuming your laws are similar in this regards to our's here in San Diego. IMO your son is in grave danger. Do not wait like we did until it's too late. I see a lot of Cody in Jared, and one of the most striking and common features, is Anxiety related stresses, which are punished, thus creating an unstable and dangerous downward spiral. Get your son into the home hospital program and out of that hell hole they call a school. After that, you will know your son is safe, and they can no longer abuse the daylights out of him. Their strategy is almost certainly to force you to remove him from school so they don't have to pay. If you want to see where this kind of abuse can lead, take a gander at what happened to our son. Your circumstance sounds hauntingly familiar. Knowing wheat I know today, I would never allow a child with an autistic spectrum disorder near a public school. The risk is just too high. http://www.endschoolabuse.org/
It is a shame that we have to fear taking our children to school. I know many of the parents have had nothing but positive effects with their children's schooling and I'm so happy for that. You all deserve the best treatment for your children. But in states where funding is not available, I have heard of cases similar to those of Jared and Cody and countless anonymous cases where there have been tragic ends. Our children cannot always defend themselves and need us to do it. I know we would love to have them sheltered and in a "bubble" and we know we can't do that because they need to experience the world, but their world is a scary one sometimes. I hope all parents of special children do not have to face what Cody faced ( I read your site) and what Jared is currently experiencing. We need to bind together and fight at all levels what is being done, even if it's not our children, it could be in the future. **If I stepped on some toes, I didn't mean to, just venting, please forgive  They can NOT tell you what to do by any means!!! They do have some sort of browns law they go by...I still have YET to look up that. Hmm if your child has never been dx'd...does that mean there isn't an IEP?? I would ask the school to evaluate him, then "disagree" and go seek an independant evaluation...be sure to disagree in writing first...then the school will have no other choice but to pay for whoever you seek outside. Why is it we hafta continue fighting for what the school is supposed to give them automatically??!!! Yeah, I do believe I pilfer strength from all of you's to help me continue on with this battle. Thank you ALL soooooo much! :)I just read what happened to you Nelle and I think that it's inexcusible. You should be getting better advice from the school and your sons doctors. My daughter has just been diagnosed with PDD after years of trying to figure out what was wring with her. We moved to Ohio in August and got the diagnosis in January. I did have to fight but its paid off. It sounded like you are from the Ohio area (Akron)so I can tell you where I took my daughter. The Cleveland Clinic has a Neuropsych Dept. for Educational Evaluation. The school can't argue with that report. I just told my pediatrician that we were going and to give me a referral. The other place we went was The Center for Autism in Shaker Heights for an evaluation. Again the school can't argue with that. Again just tell the pediatrician your going and you need a referral. Don;t take no for an answer. You know your child best. Once you have those reports, take them back to the school and have them reevaluate his IEP. Again yu'll have to be on their case but if you push enough it will get done. If your son does come back with a diagnosis of autism or some kind of spectrum, you don't need to keep in the public schools. Ohio has an autism scholarship program that will cover up to $20,000 a year. This will cover the costs of sending your son to a school that he can feel more comfortable in if that is what you want to do. This web site may help you http://ilrc.ode.state.oh.us/. It's the Ohio Department of Education website and it can also help you with other links. I am pulling my daughter out of the public schools because they said they could't help her and we found two wonderful schools for her that will really be good for her. One is Julie Billiart and the other is the Monarch School. Billiart teaches children with learning disabilites including autism spectrum disorders while the other concentrates purley on the autic child and developes their learning plan around a more visual approach since most children with autism have weaknesses with language. I don't know if any of this has helped you. You might have already found a solution to your problem. I just felt for you because I've been going through this for years and now I can finaly get the correct help that my daughter needs. I'm still doing a lot of research myself because we only found out last week but I wish you all the luck. Heather Hi everyone, I need some advice or just to vent I'm not even sure at this point. Last week my son went off Risperdal with Drs. aproval. I showed the Dr. Jared behavioral reports before and after Risperdal (school was unaware he was even on it) and the reports score-wise were idenicle. Jared had been gaining 5 lbs a month again and his behavior was still pretty much the same after the first week. I think he tried to show the school the first week that he was changed with the magic pills they wanted him on so bad. It didn't really help so the act wore off real quick. At his last IEP I was told Jared will be permently kept in the behavioral unit because I refuse to medicate him. SO HARD NOT TO SCREAM HE IS ON THE MEDS DON'T YOU SEE MR. MELLOW IS BACK NOW? I can't beleive they didn't notice the gorging food habits again. I'm thinking of getting him in a gym this year he is to tempermental for competitive sports. His reputation proceeds him. I hope this dosen't sound like I am not trying with my son he really had no benifits from Risperdal. I am working with a new Child Physciatrist who is looking into what made Jared ODD. He is looking at childhood trama and possible attachment disorder. He says we need to know more background to know what drugs will be most effective. He has also ordered ink blot tests and spectrum testing (to humor me). We hope to have answers before new school year. I was told at Jared most recent IEP meeting that his outlook is SBU until Jr. High and High School were he will be in SPED until he graduates or I coroperate and Medicate him again. I WILL NEVER ALLOW THAT! Jared has a very high IQ and is already able to do 12 grade math. I can't see wasting such a brillant mind because they can't handle him. I am serously considering Home Schooling again. The school promised me 2 years in the SBU and he would be mainstreamed now it's never going to happen? I already gave them 3 years to prove their way is better. When they pulled Jared out of mainstream 1st grade they said if I attempt to pull him out to Home School they would take me to court because Jared lacked needed socailization skills. Now the school tells me if I DON'T GET JARED UNDER CONTROL AND HE HAS A VIOLENT OUTBURST I CAN BE SUED AND I LOOSE EVERYTHING. He has never struck another child but he has teachers when they try to physically remove him. He probably will hit a student the first time he witnesses a bully in action (he did that at my sisters house with a neighborhood bully). But Jared has a strick code of justice. He feels he is always being wronged. I have had Jared to a dozen DRs. since he was 6. Most of them dismiss him when the drugs don't work or their counseling is useless. I'm at my wits end. When I was in Akron for one day they suspended Jared again and his dad was contacted and told it was for disrespect. They didn't tell me yet (they have my cell phone# but called his). I have to get to the bottom of this on Monday YIPEE! I know my attitude is getting bad but I think I should just pull him from public school and attempt home schooling. SPED classes will just let him be lazy and waste his abilities. ANY SUGESTIONS WOULD BE WELCOMED. I KNOW WHATEVER I DO THE SCHOOL WILL OPOSE. Sorry so long. Nelle [/QUOTE]I don't have a solution for your son (my own DS had some aggressive episodes in Jr. HI, so I know that Districts take the gloves off when violence threatens. They are afraid of other parents suing). I do, however, want to say something. It is very, very unfortunate but many of our kids who may have brilliant minds will never, ever get to use their brilliant minds because of their behaviors. SOme behaviors are caused by school personnel mishandling a student, but most come from within. Who knows why. My personal feeling is that it's probably a waste of time to try to find out why in the larger sense. But it's very good policy to try to find out why in the immediate sense. That's what a Functional Behavioral Assessment is for. Best practices says that a Functional Behavioral Assessment must be performed in order to develop a positive and effective Behavior Intervention Plan. There is EXCELLENT information on the CECP website on FBA's and BIP's. I don't have the web address right here but search CECP. It's not an autism site -- I think it's site for behavioral disorders. But it has some great information. BTW, my 6ft. 250 lb. 15yo takes a total of 6ml. of Risperdal, 60 mg. of Buspar and 2.5 mg of Tenex each day. He also gets Trazadone on an as-needed basis in the evenings (most evenings) and I have Ativan for panic attacks. He never seems to need Ativan these days, thank goodness. I guess I got sidetracked because what I wanted to say is that if you and the doctors and the schools, working in concert, cannot prepare your son to deal with the real world, his high academic achievement will get him nowhere. Try to get an advocate to help you get what your son needs in order to get and keep a job some day and live in the neurotypical world. I know just how hard all of this is because of my own experiences, so I have tremendous empathy for you. Denied a asd/pdd assessmnent cause psychologist says doesn't have it. I found it strange since he scores 106 on the online pdd assessment. He has always had these traits. I think our problem has been he started therapies at age 1. He also is in the same therapies as a Asd kid is. The psychologist claims our son is just plain adhd. Where do I go for another outside opinion? If your unhappy apply for a federal grant for people with disabilities. Home school is also a optition w/ private therapy.
Please help! |
||||||||||
|
Copyright Autism-PDD.net
|
. I do have to say he is getting awesome intervention, and the state does have good supports even for adults. Everyone come move here--we can support one another 
**