today was the scariest of all glad your son is ok. my son just turn 4 this week, but when he was younger like ever since he could walk i realise he was a runner and always tried to maintain a firm grip on him in the street. well he got alot better at not runing and my daughter came along,so my hands aren't as free as they use to be. today when i got home with the kids i had to park across the street from the house, it was cold and taught i would bring in both the kids and the baby bag on my shoulder in one trip.as if i didn't know sure in a perfect world cause I still have not gotten over the experience of a life time yet, I 'm not sure what else i want to say but i already knew i had to always hold him,buti guess he got away this time. I cant help but blame my self but i also came clear with reality that he may never stop running away or may never know the dangers of the street and i dont know what to do or if there is something to do. i cant even get pass this it is so in my mind the vision and the reality of what just happened. I need alot of strength to go on this litterally took my breath away. sorry this is too long and wordy i cant even check for errors now hope you guys understand! sonia Glad everything worked out for you and that your son is okay. My son was a runner, too. One of the scariest times was when we were on vacation in Florida and he took off running (and looking over his shoulder and laughing) in the parking lot of the hotel towards the busy street. Someone else had to catch him for me. When an elderly women was asked if she ever considered a face lift to reduce her wrinkles she said "NO WAY, I Earned these wrinkles, these wrinkles marked all my accomplishments". The physical symptoms of good parenting are heart stopping moments, grey hairs and raised blood pressure. OH and wrinkles. Even raising my NT child I had many moments like yours. I have had a handful with my 2 youngest as well. The important thing to remember is that you are doing your best to protect them and sometimes we can't be super human and leap tall buildings in a single bound. But just think about how many times you have made leaps and bounds to protect them, they far out number those moments where we had near misses. Sonjia- how scary! My daughter who is now 5,used to be a runner. Once she ran away from me in the grocery store and ran out of the automatic doors into the busy parking lot, ran infront of a car in the pooring rain. As if this was not bad enough she did this to me on vacation on the beach-I was 100 months pregnant trying to chase her some kind stranger finally realized I was never going to catch her and grabbed her for me! I absolutely remember these days! My daughter no longer does this and I hope one day this stops for you as well! It is so scary! Good luck! Traci Tj is a runner too. More than once he has gotten away and darted into the street. I know how you feel about running and cars. TJ came with in about a foot oof getting hit when he snuck out the gate last tiem. Even yesterday he pulled away and tryied to go into the street. It is scarey. I hope this is something they outgrow. Big (((((((Hugs)))))) AMEN nowwhat i totally agree i at one time made up flyer's for the whole street we lived on about autism and on the back had it printed in bold red letters " IF YOU SEE CHRIS RUNNING DOWN THE ROAD PLEASE TRY AND CATCH HIM !! THANKS CHRIS' MOTHER" and every time after someone was helping me run my sprinter marathon boy down. I believe in being to the point.i agree with nowhat, u ned to scream at onlookers and don't beat yourself up. Junior did the same thing to me. had Athena not yelled" Junior come back" I would not have noticed he got out of his stroller. That doesn't even keep himin, even the car seat doesn't work anymore! Hang in there I am not sure why am still crying when i think of yesterday, but i really have this grief lump that makes me cry. although i think you guys are saying it will get better and i have to belive it. I am still dealing with a few bits of reallity like people who just looked instead of trying to help and although i know it is expected for then not to help it really brings me to tears to know other people could have helped me stop him and they just looked instead. maybe we should all move to the same neighborhood, since we are the only caring peole that are left out there.God knows my hubby or i could never see this happing to anyone else and just watch the child zip by. i will get over this but is there nothing else i can do to help him understand, besides constantly keep a firm grip and when he is old enough sign him up for olympics. Thanks for all your support! sonia I know how you feel. When a similar situation happened to me, I felt like a failure as a mother because had a car been coming, maybe my son would no longer be with us. Of course, that kind of situation is going to shake one up. Then, there is just the embarassment of chasing around one's child. Mine took off once in a grocery store and I could not find him. Had to go to the management because I was worried he would go out of the grocery. He didn't, but I was really shaken. The customers thought it was kind of funny--one woman looked over at me laughing and shaking her head until she noticed that I was crying and then was embarassed. Also, I really don't understand why people do not intervene. When I was pregnant and pushing a stroller, I remember that the local bakery had two steps up to the door which would not stay open. It was a situation where I really could not get in the store without help, but only 50% of the people when I would go to that store would realise that I needed help. Anyway, don't be hard on yourself. And scream "Stop him!" if you have to wake up the onlooking bozos into action. You may look like a crazy woman, but you're not, just a caring mom.Nowwhat That is a great idea about a flyer! My son took off from me in a parking lot (I was 8 months pregnant) when he was about 2 1/2. I was able to grab his hood (thank God he was wearing a shirt with a hood attached!) as a car was coming. It scared the living daylights out of me and although he has never tried to run into the street again (and actually gets upset when he sees kids his age playing in the street or crossing without a parent) I am just starting to relax my hold on him. That incident scarred ME for life! I have a good idea how you feel. I think the reason why strangers don't intervene is just that - they are strangers. They don't know necessarily what to do - they don't necessarily know there is something atypical about your child and they are probably concerned about a parent getting irate with them for doing something (there are LOTS of parents who would be that way, trust me!). I have helped out in situations where the parent looks desperate, but otherwise I have learned the hard way to not intervene - I have gotten lectures from parents who think their little angel is just fine thank you very much (although they were trying to run into the street!). Also, people are so busy and caught up with their own lives that we as a society just don't pay attention much to those around us. I hope I am teaching both my kids that you SHOULD pay attention to others and help out when you can. I do this by example and also ask them (well, just my son at this point as my girl is just 20 months old!) to help others out when I see they can use it. I can't tell you how many compliments we get for my son because he will hold the elevator door open whenever someone needs to get out or he will ask people very politely what floor they want and he pushes the button for them. Today, I had a woman tell me that I was such a good mom and had such well-mannered and well-behaved children. I really needed that today and told her a heart-felt thank-you. However, I also thought to myself - if she only knew! But, we must be doing something right as we get those comments a lot. My son (who is 4.5 years old) rarely acts out in public, he saves it all for home! As for more suggestions, I might also call out ahead to people to say "please stop him!" - then they might feel more comfortable intervening. Just my two cents... sonia I have to tell you about a boy i babysit who is atuistic and non verbal. He wouldn't come out of the car..I waited and waited and at last he decided to jump out, just then my neighbors pulled up and were unloading groceries. So what does this 9 yr old boy do? He pulls down his pants in my drive way and starts to pee. My neighbors LOOKED and said nothing to me. I still laugh about this because if they (my neighbors) didn't want to acknowlege what happened how was i going to change them? I hope you are doing better now. There is a time to laugh and a time to cry...it is okay to cry...just know that it will get better. How Scary!!!Donny used to be a runner, but tight security has prevented any mishaps while he's with us. He has been lost by his one to one worker, which makes me just sick thinking about it. Now that Don's older, I have to give him more freedom, and allow him out of my site, expecting him to stay within the boundaries I've set, and come when I call him. Most of the time, he does great. However, I've lost him, very briefly (under 3 minutes), three times. Once at school, he boogied away when he was supposed to be just getting a drink, and once in a dollar store, when he was supposed to just be looking at toys in the aisle beside the one I was in. The third time, we were at a family party in a remote area, and, I allowed him to explore the property with his NT cousin, who's the same age (8 years), while I was sometimes in, and sometimes out. There was lots of family around, and I could see him most of the time. They were running in circles around the house. At one point, I hadn't seen him for about 2 minutes, and got worried, went looking for him. Couldn't find him anywhere around the house, and started to feel panicky, so started calling him. He came running up from the lane saying "Here I am Mom!" - the two of them had gone to check the mail box. Even though he never leaves the building now, and doesn't run like he used to, it still makes me just sick with fear when I don't know where he is, even for 5 seconds! As for how to prevent it - I don't know how much understanding your son has, but maybe you could do some visual social stories about traffic safety, staying close to mom, etc.? |
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.well 1st i unstrap my son from his seat then i closes the door of the van and walked around tand unstrap the baby, took her out put the bag on my soluder and walked back to get my sons hand to go in the house. well to my surprise for what ever reason my son would not get up from his seat no matter what i said or did so i ran to the hosue across the street and got my neighbor tohold the baby till i go back for my son. well he was in the back seat of my 7 seat van so i was reaching for him and asking him to come out but he refused for like a min. then he came close enough for me to lift him out, but as soon as i put him down he dash off running. well i was in shock when i yelled at him and he kept going, til he ran across the street where cars often pass but fortunely there where not at that moment, so i ran in the middle of the street to catch him but he was a few feet away in the middle of the street and i still was not close enough to grab him so he ran back onunto the side walk and still kept running down the block away from the house. i realised if i ran and call out his name he is thinking it is some type of game and still runnning so by this time i had stop and was walking after him begging him to stop but he kept going and i say the street at the corner with so much traffic back and fouth, i was panic a lady and her daughter walk right by of course, she comented 'he is gone".welll he reached the end of the block and turn the corner so he was out of sight and i started to run agianas fast as i could in panic.well it was by the grace of god when i got to the cornner i could not see him but it was right but a deli store and he had went in it , and it was there this night mare ended, with us both alive.