Kindergarten at age 4?We had a meeting at my sons school this morning about his behavior issues. We are just starting work with a behavior therapist at home to see if we can correct his aggressive behaviors while he is still young. He has most of his troubles at school or in structured environments. He kicks, spits and recently started biting when he is asked to do something he does not want to do. Most of his aggressions are towards the teachers but sometimes at the other children in his classroom. He is kept out of circle time because he is disruptive to the other children. He is not allowed to participate in gym class because he cannot follow the directions and becomes too much to handle. It has been a theory for a while that he might be bored at school. He is 4 years old and he has already mastered the preschool curriculum. He knows all his letters (can write both uppercase and lowercase) and can count up to 100 easily frontwards and backwards. He knows his colors and shapes. He can spell and write at least a few dozen words. He is now starting to read. He also can do some simple math. His fascination is with numbers and letters. He loves to learn. His teacher said today that he has surpassed what they can teach him because the other students are at the level they should be at. He still has one more year of preschool after this one since he does not turn 5 until December 2010. She said it is going to be her recommendation that he is not placed in her classroom next Fall. What they would like to do is try him in Kindergarten. Starting in May they want to have him go to the kindergarten class for a couple of days a week until the end of the school year to see how he does there. I guess if he does well they will place him in kindergarten in the Fall. I think it is a mainstream class, but I am not sure. They said he really should be in a gifted program but they do not have one in our school system. Another alternative that was brought up by our new behavior therapists (who are not part of the school system) was that he be placed out of district in either a Has anyone else been through something like this? I am not sure what to think. Yes it is great that he is smart and eager to learn, but what about the behavior issues? I cant think that they are all due to his being bored. It’s almost like they are passing him on to be someone else’s issue because they cant handle him. Or am I reading too much into it? Phoenix, I dont know how he would do socially. He is still very socially awkward. He does a lot of parallel play but not very much cooperative play. He doesnt understand about personal space and constantly gets too close and in your face when he is interacting with you. He loves to hug and kiss and his teacher is trying to explain to him that he cannot do that to other kids in the classroom. So to put him in a class with older kids (not much older, but probably more at the level that he should be by his age) I'm not sure how he would do. Also, a thought that just occured to me....he is still in diapers/pullups. Would they take him in a regular Kindergarten class if he is not potty trained? He is not even close to being trained. I dont want him being made fun of by the other kids because he is different. Are kids that age like that? Would they exclude him because he is different? I guess that is what I worry about the most. Great that he is smart, but will he be happy. Because that is all I want for him in life...to be happy. That's pretty much Tori's story. Only our school refused to move her forward into Kinder even on a trial basis (even with documentation of performance on academic testing) because, despite behavioral issues related to boredom, they were afraid she couldn't cope sociall. So we're homeschooling, since we don't have any alternatives here. At home Tori's doing a combination of PreK and 1st curricula and is very happy. I don't have any answers for you. I wishi I did. Kids can be very cruel, even in Kinder. The push now is for inclusive classrooms, so if the school is hot on moving him to Kinder, they'd probably find a way to work with the diaper issue. I've seen some older kids in mainstream classroom who have aides just for that kind of reason. I don't know if that's a norm or an exception. Social/emotional development takes ASD kiddos much longer to come to terms with. If I'd waited for my kiddo to be socially/emotionally ready for Kinder, then she probably wouldn't be ready for Kinder until she turns 7 or so (she's 5 now, and social/emotional age is 3). By then she'd be so far ahead academically the behavior issues resulting from boredom would probably outweigh everything else. Whether he stays in preschool, or starts kindergarten, the main issue seems to be (IMHO) his self-regulation and his social skills in the classroom. So, how would they address that in either school option? Would he have a para ed? Being bored. I don't know. If that was the issue, then why can't he stay in circle time or PE? I would guess boredom might be part of it, but I would explore the autism part of it more. My kids were also ahead in preschool/kindergarten with letters, colors, math, etc. This has been a good asset and because of this we were able to focus on social/adaptive skills more. But just so you know, as my kids have gotten older, we are seeing difficulty with comprehension and more abstract reasoning. This was not really picked up on in preschool/K years; it is something that becomes more important in the 3rd and 4th grades. Good luck. ________________________ mom to 10 year old boy/girl twins (Asperger's/PDD-NOS) Which might work, assuming the school has a gifted/talented program (or some approximation). Our district no longer has one. Boredom was a huge part of the behavioral issues for both of my children (Mikey's kinder teacher did recommend holding him back in kinder for social reasons, but that wasn't acceptable in my book). When my kids aren't bored (meaning we're meeting their academic needs and challenging them), they behave in a school environment. Since our school wouldn't agree to meeting their needs, we pulled them out. Thank you all for the responses. Jimmy is not at the same level socially as the 4 year olds in his classroom right now, so I am sure he would not be on the same level as the kids in the kindergarten class. He is more happy to play by himself with toys that interest him. When we go to the playground he might engage for a little while with other kids there but mostly he plays alone or with me and my husband. Seeing how other kids his age play together is one of the things that always reminds me that he is "different". He is a very happy little boy who loves to charm you. He does better with adults then he does with kids. The behavior therapists that were at the meeting and got to hear about all the troubles the teachers have with Jimmy at school got to meet with Jimmy today at home for their first session with him. They did not see the same child the school described. They said it was like they were talking about a different child in the meeting at school. They are going to look into seeing what would have to take place to get him an out of district placement. The more I think about it the more I think putting him in Kindergarten in the Fall would not be a good idea We're not even doing kindy at 5 - DS's bday in is July, so they gave us the option of waiting until 6. We have the same boredom problem - DS can read, write, count, do basic math. In most regards, he's already mastered the kindergarten curriculum, but you can't just keep bumping them up in grades because they're smart. I know the flip side is that you can't keep holding them back until they catch up socially, but there's no point in making a difficult situation worse. I'd be very careful about moving to kindergarten too soon with any kid. Even an NT child would have trouble with the social aspects, and imagine being socially immature and the smallest, youngest child in the class. It's something that could cause serious problems down the road. I'd push the preschool to present him with activities that are more appropriate to his developmental level, not his age. If he needs the academic stimulation, there's no reason it can't be a part of the preschool curriculum. My DS's school does reading and math with him when they're working with the kids in small groups. It's not a huge part of the day, but it's enough to keep him from getting bored while the other kids learn their colors. I think it would be a mistake to attribute the aggression and social skill deficits you describe to boredom. By all means, try to find a placement where he continues to be challenged academically, but I really think the two issues are separate. As a Pre-K and Kindergarten teacher, I can tell you from experience that the single biggest mistake that parents make in early education is to start kindergarten too early. Your son may be academically ready, but socially, he is probably very different from all those 5 almost 6-es. There is a huge difference between 4 and 5, and if you begin him in a social environment that he is not mature enough for, it could influence his view of his entire school career- in essence- it can put a bad taste in his mouth. I have seen parents make this mistake time and again, only to have their children repeat kindergarten because they are not ready to move to first grade. If you think he is bored now, 2 years of kindergarten can kill a kid! There are all types of gifted student resources online if your son needs more academically challenged. These can be fun alternatives for both of you! |
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