Im FUUUUMIIING!!!! I want toSCREAM!i called the sp ed secretary to let her know that I was calling because I had forgotten to mention in my letter I sent requesting the IEE that if they approved it I needed them to send me a copy of the criteria for it. The sp ed secretary toldme she already sent me my procedural safeguards and all the info is in there. I said I have alot of those frommy IEP meetings and asked her if the criterias in there 2? She then said O shes not sure and I need to talk to the behavirist so I called the behaviorist. I told her I was referred to talk to her by the sp ed secreatry because i had asked for the criteria for the IEE if it was approved because I had not included it inmy letter I had sent them earlier. She asked me why i wanted academic testings again? I told her I actually requested he be reevaluated in academics, psychological and speech. She asked why? I told her why for the speech becuz they only evaled him in vocab. and articulations but he is having trouble understanding what is being said to him in class from what his teachers have told me. Her response was that they had some concern that the medication was causing it and she informed me that medication can cause speech problems. I KNOW this is not his medicaiton! She asked what meds hes on I told her tegretol which hes been on for a while and clonidine which is for his repetitive mannerisms and when i said the med clonidine she said "OOOO" Like O well thats the problem! I didnt tell her this but thats ridiculous since hes only been on it for a week! I told her that I want psych testing to see if hel qualify for the autism dx like we discuss and she said they are going to go over that at this upcoming meeting. I told her i wanted the academic because his teachers have told me that he has regressed and on his report card he went from progressing to unsatisfactory on 5 subjects on his report card as well as on his progress reports for his IEP goals it says that he has stopped progressing. SHE toldme "Well you know that hes been absent 19 times right? That is affecting his grades" WHAT! Besides the fact that i higly doubt my son has been absent 19 times he has had the most absences this last month in January which was AFTER his teachers had told me thier concerns and I told her that the reason he missed so much school was because we were getting him tested to find out if it was his health or seizures causing the trouble! She alsol told me that I am probably thinking that his teacher are more concerned then they really are about his problems right now. I told her I wouldnt even KNOW he was sturggling in school if it hadnt been for BOTH his teachers lettin me knw things were going on! She then went on that wel discuss this at the IEP meeting and if they need to by law they will do wht they need to do and bring the IEE criteria to the meeting for me and she went on to say it will be a list of evaluators I can choose from but I can also choose someone outside of the list if i want to. I am SOOOO angry because I am just knowing that im going into a battlefiield at this next meeting and i will be ganged up on justlike my previous meetings at his old school they will silence the teachers and ill loook like an idiot and im just upset about this. I want to find an advocate. Should I just get an advocate for this upcoming meeting? OR should I go to this meeting and if things DO turn ugly call in an advocate? I cant even FIND an advocate in my town! If i go to the meeting and were are not agreeing and i think i need an advocate can i table the meeting and meet up with them again at a later date?? iM SO upset  Thanks for listening to me rant! Im a basket case right now. Why would they even tell me my kids having problems? Did they think id be the type of parent taht would do nothing? And if so why bother telling me? Unless they were hoping medication would solve all? Or hopefully the behaviorist is not familiar with whats going on and has not talked to his teachers yet. I just want them to back me up. Last year in kindergarten his kindy teacher would say things to me then at the IEP meetings shed retract her comments and agree with everyone else and leave me looking like a fool whos making things up. I dont understand how people can be so heartless! Yes im wigging out! ___________________ momof3kidz Thank you all :) Today im feeling much better! We filed out tax returns and im happy to be getting money for an advocate lol Also his sp ed teacher sent me a thanku note home for sending in little toys for the kids in her rooms shopping day (day they redeem thier tokens). I live in kingman, az. Thanks NYMommy! I talked to some1 who told me to try the public school ed board but I dont think id want to use an advocate affiliated in any way with them! Or maybe it would be fine? I have no clue if she has MD behind her name or not but shes supposed to be the behaviorist/autism specialist! Can they discriminate against his needs based on his attendance? I looked at my records and on his 1 quarter report card he missed 4 days of school and on this quarter he missed 10 and out of this number he was tardy 3 times which equaled an absence but he did not miss out in his learning since he WAS there. Not to MENTION the 4 absences CANT be cotributed as causing him problems because they were from last quarter when he was doing GREAT! So basically can 10 absences cause such regression? Also last thursday I had to take him out early from school for a doc app with his pedi for becuz he was running high fevers at night, cough and headaches. I was goign to bring him back and told the office staff that but her and the principal who was there in formed me that it was early release day because of parent teacher conference and I prob wouldnt have time to bring him back SO that came out of thier mouths! I guess he missed his class with his resource rm teacher for lang. arts so on his progress report he was written down as absent too ugh. For all the absences my son has 3 do not have doctor notes (2 days he was sick vomiting but didnt get doc note since he recovered quickly and the 3rd day with no note was the day after he missed 2 days for his 24 hr eeg recently. I kept him home an extra day since we had to stay out of state for the eeg). I did document and wrote down the time and everything she told me. I wish i had done that with the phone calls from his resource rms teacher 2!Maybe i should go back and try to find it in my phone records? I asked my sister in law to come with me just for support so i dont feel the full force of them against me! My son does have a case manager thru department of dev. disabilities but she doesnt really know him besides doing a test/checklist style and observing him for a lil bit. They do come to meetings but I think it would be pointless since she doesnt know anything about my son. Not to mention shes fairly new (keep getting switched from case manager to case manager!) so Im afraid to pick and choose who attends incase anyone sides withthe district (never know!). Anyway, I took a break yesterday in even looking for an advocate because i felt like i was going to have a nervous breakdown and i didnt even feel like i could explain whats going on to anyone without breaking down because of stress and being emotional! Thank u all for lending a listening ear and the support/advice! :)
Dad2luke&alan, I am running out the door to pick up a print out of all my sons absences at his school and a doctors note from his pedi when i pulled him out early for his app last week but I wanted to ask real quickly. You think I should go to the meeting (not postpone it tillthe IEEs finished) and bring an advocate right? I was thinking of asking my sons neurologist to write down the conclusions he came to about the reasons my son is having trouble in class (attention difficulities)? I was also goingto ask thathe write again thatmy son has autism (tho they already have multiple paperwork fromhis diff doctors already saying this)? Thanks I will write more later! I hate to say this, but you and your son are now being watched 'cause the school needs to blame someone for the lack of success. I believe that I mentioned Wrightslaw's "The blame game" - go have a look. It might help to know that you are not alone. At least you'll see what's ahead for you.Suggestion: CYA, get doctor's notices for every absence and keep copies. As for the IEE information. I wish I could help you, but my state has an unusual set up and so what I know here does not apply where you are. Best I can offer is that you need to find out about the power structure there and see who has your equivalent of my local area's procedure manual where there is a section on IEE procedures. If the procedural safeguards is all you can get, try to get that in writing from this person. (Pete Wright says "If it is not in writing, then it did not happen.") You might look and see if your procedural safeguards reference an authority for the IEE info. We tried an advocate for a while, but it only helped a bit and eventually the advocate quit. I'd suggest an advocate for the short term, but you need to become an advocate in the long term. You might start with Wrightslaw's "From Emotions to Advocacy" book. It is a good start. The purpose of an advocate IMHO would be to keep things from getting out of hand, so I's be thinking of finding one before I really need one. Incidentally schools suggesting medication is supposed to be a no-no since they are not doctors. I believe that the IDEA specifically says that schools cannot require medication as a condition for attendance, probably because of abuse in the past. My suggestion: A slightly frosty "That's an interesting observation. I will discuss it with (son's) doctor and see what he has to say about it. But until then...." I would also assume that things would turn ugly, and mentally and emotionally prepare for it. The thing to do is to negotiate for what your kid needs even when they make it as difficult as possible. You got to check your emotions at the door and the only way to do that is to be ready for the worst (and be thankful if it does not happen). I'd try the advocate, but they are magic and you need a clear idea of what you want and communicate this to the advocate. YMMV in this area. Some folks like them. I like the idea of having my back covered, but we cannot afford the expense and the last advocate I talked with said that what I really needed was a lawyer. I would also check the COPAA web site for an advocate in their list. It might be a place to find an experienced person. One last thought: my District likes to make a big song and dance about "medical autism" compared to "educational autism". Since they then can claim your child has medical autism but not educational autism. And I have stepped in cowpies that made more sense than that. BUT it might be helpful for your existing person to spell out that the autism is the educational classification, not the medical diagnosis. Dad2lukeandalan, Thanks! Im going to do just that. Ur right about it getting lost in all one letter. Also i was worried that the behavirist would just throw the letter i send her away but i wanted it to be included in his file so thats a great idea. If i send it to the sp ed secreatray 2 do i NEED to put cc? I just dont want the behaviorst getting any more worked up or ruffled then the letter may already make her. I sent the letter requesting that the meeting be rescheduled today so they will get it tomorrow. I also sent a written letter to school with my son for his sped teachers and his gen ed teacher just giving them a heads up that i am rescheduling the meeting. I stated that i did not feel i was ready and didnt want to waste thier time since i know how busy they already are. I also said I have not heard yet about thier decision on the IEE i requested so will wait till i find out about that. I was hoping it could be some sort of a bargaining chip but I want everything for my son at the same time! Thanks for thesuggestion on places to look for anadvocate. I am still working on getting one but i am very hopeful! I can and wil record the meeting (and i always do!) but I need to let them know in advance. They did tell me that medical autism is diff from education (at the last meeting a few months ago when i requested he be changed to autism instead of slds) they told me they do not see his autism interfering and also that if he wasnt dxed by 3 diff specialist theyd doubt he had it at all but then the behaivorist added that it doesnt mean he doesnt have autism just that it is not interfering with his schooling (she herself stated he has aspergers synd. on his fba she made in the summer for him,so irritating). I have doctors nots for every doc app hes had and I requested a print out of his absences and he has 17 absences (she said he had 19). I know is alot but every doctors app i have a note which they recorded themselves! I do feel like we are being watched! I feel like if he gets sick i have to send him to school anyway and i was thinking of doing just that and having THEM send him home! I have the emotions to advocacy bok which is great except my sons situations seems so unique and i want a complete guideline personalized for him and i feel really inadequate about advocating for him right now and imdisappointed because i fought so hard last year and it just never ends :( I feel like just giving it to the advocate as her job! blech! They didnt suggest meds but from what i got the impression that is why they were sharing things with me for. I like that about discussing it with his doctor and getting back to them, i am going to use that, thanks! checking my emotions is one of the most important thigns I can remember to do right now because its really been getting to me. Thanks for all the advice, suggestions and info! [QUOTE=143hayden]Dad2lukeandalan, Thanks! Im going to do just that. Ur right about it getting lost in all one letter. Also i was worried that the behavirist would just throw the letter i send her away but i wanted it to be included in his file so thats a great idea. If i send it to the sp ed secreatray 2 do i NEED to put cc? I just dont want the behaviorst getting any more worked up or ruffled then the letter may already make her. [/QUOTE] I don't know if you need to. But if you don't they probably will share you letter. Now days anything I sent to the teacher gets copied to the principal and Sp Ed management. But maybe that's cause the director of special ed is in my IEP meetings. I'd write the letter to the behaviorist and include a "CC" at the bottom just like any other business letter just so that she is not surprised -- that might make her upset as well. I'll bet MSWord has a format for it. [QUOTE=143hayden] They did tell me that medical autism is diff from education (at the last meeting a few months ago when i requested he be changed to autism instead of slds) they told me they do not see his autism interfering and also that if he wasnt dxed by 3 diff specialist theyd doubt he had it at all but then the behaivorist added that it doesnt mean he doesnt have autism just that it is not interfering with his schooling (she herself stated he has aspergers synd. on his fba she made in the summer for him,so irritating).[/QUOTE] Funny, I have heard all the same things. I am thinking I really ought to put together the top 10 list of reasons to deny services. My son has the same autism yours does. It turn off at school district boundaries. Maybe we should try to get it officially into the DSM-V. e.g.: NIMBY Autism: Definition: Has all the signs and symptoms of autism spectrum disorder but for reasons unknown to medical science the symptoms disappear when the patient is standing on property owned by the local school district. It might help to take a deep breath and remember that this is a marathon. You will be doing it for maybe another 10 years. Take the time to plan. Dad2lukeandalan, I think il have to re-schedule my sons meeting because I am not going to be able to have an advocate by next wednesday! I hate to reschedule but if i go by myself i feel i will have to endure unneccesary stress! I was reading the letter to a stranger because I also want to do a letter of understanding concerning what me and the behaviorist spoke about. I am also sending out aletter today requesting the meeting be rescheduled becaue I am not ready and i dont want to waste thier time as well as letting them know i have not heard anything about the iee (xcept for when i spoke with the behaviorist). Should I include both the letter of understanding concerning the phone call between the behaviorist AND the letter asking for rescheduling of the iep meeting and just combine them togehter? I am also confused because if i send the iep reschduling letter to the sp ed secreatary should i just send the letter of understanding to the behaviorist or to the secreatry even tho its written to the behaviroist? I want to send it to the secreatary even tho its to the behaviorist because i want this record a part of my sons permanent ed. records and not just thrown away like she may do and it be pointless unless i pull it out during a meeting to shove her words back in her face which id rather not do if possible! Im just confused! Ack i sent the letter and did NOT include CC at the bottom but sent a copy to the sp. ed secreatary and asked her to put the letter in his perm. ed files. Was i sposed to put the CC: at the bottom of the page or a few spaces below where the letter ends? Exactly! That is what the schools are trying to tell us! Makes me so angry! But then our kids ARE showing deficits but according to them they are not becuase theyd have to take ownership and provide services/help. Its so frustrating! I have decided that this is a autism catagory missing from the DSM-IV or -V manuals: NIMBY Autism. Which is what a school diagnoses when they agree that there is autism -- but its not happening in their backyard. Ok thanks. I know I should bring that up to them, i wonder what they would say? I often also want to shove my sons 4 dxs by DIFF doctors in thier faces but o well that would cause more problems probably! If I keep having to hear it it may be very tempting tho! The district is required to consider outside evaluations, but "consider" can mean lots of things (like all the way to the circular file). If you are thinking of going to court, the District cannot consider what it does not see and so it is off the hook unless you share the reports. So I would share them politely (e.g., give them to the district a week or more before the IEP meeting) but expect them to be ignored. (A cynic would say that this it is defining characteristic of "NIMBY Autism".) Then you set yourself up should you need to go to court. At that point you'd need to contact a lawyer to see what the best option is. With any luck showing that you are prepared and you are setting up a good case may get the District to yield rather than fight a losing court case.I hope I never end up in court with the district that would be a nightmare and a half! They would only consider his IEEs is my guess which makes me think why even request it! Tho they have been pretty open to some suggestions of mind I think an IEE would rub them the wrong way and things would get alooot more stressful! But I will request the IEE if i have to anyway. |
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