Help me to understand? I am sorry if this is in the wrong section. I couldn't find a more suitable area for it. Anyway, I thank everyone for my welcoming to the forum. I want to address that I am *not* autistic. I am seeking assistance in understanding my friend who is autistic, and to assess any personal frustration I might hold regarding her. A bit about myself- I do have Cerebral Palsy, which in my case, is entirely physical. I have had to work very hard throughout my whole life to get to where I am today, and I also have ADD and Bipolar Disorder. The most prominent symptoms of my CP are shaky hands, discomfort in holding a proper sitting/standing posture, walking slowly, experiencing pain in my joints when walking or running for short distances, etc. My mom is a special education teacher, and I am a State Certified Respite Care Provider who cares for a boy with Down's Syndrome. I love my job and my mom's influence, and because of those things you would think that I would be more tolerant of people with autism. Wrong, I guess. I am here to become tolerant and to understand what I currently do not. Why? Well, as mentioned above, I love my friend who has Autism and I don't want conflicts to arise from my frustration. It's too important for me to throw away over ignorance (on my part). So, basically, my friend and I have been talking for months and have collaborated on art. She is very talented and has persevered through so much. I admire her deeply, but I currently do not hold a romantic attraction toward her because I moved on from that. I would much rather be good friends. The thing she tends to struggle with that bothers me is her tendency to not respond to most of my efforts in contacting her. When I met with her one time, she loved to talk and made good eye-contact with me. However, she displayed what seemed to be a struggle with reading my non-verbal cues and understanding when it was proper for her to speak. I, by all means, encouraged her to speak whenever, but there were times where she jumped in too quickly or went off track. I struggle with these things, as well. I get frustrated (very much so) when she doesn't respond to me or suddenly drops a conversation and never returns, acting as if nothing went wrong the next day. I consciously know that this might be an obstacle to her that she cannot help. I know that she has autism. However, unconsciously, it's like I don't know those things. I try not to get frustrated, but it never works that way. My mom always raised me to read peoples' cues and to never walk away from a conversation until it is over. So, when people fail to do either of those things, it's automatic for me to assume that they don't care. Mom told me to put up with this, while my dad (divorced from mom) told me to find more dependable friends (as he put it). I didn't think his answer was fair, given her disability, but the ignorant human side of me accepted it. So, if anyone can inform me, or assess my concerns, I would deeply appreciate it. Thanks!   Why don't you just tell her when she gets off track? Say, hold on a sec, I wasn't finished and then finish what you were saying. Then you can move on to what she was talking about. If you don't let her know you are frustrated, she can't do anything about it. I don't have autism, but I have ADD and I drive my husband nuts because I will be telling a story, see something shiny, comment on it and then finish the story. It doesn't bother me and I can keep track of both conversations, but he can't. I honestly didn't realize I did it until a few years ago. Now that I know, I try really hard not to do it. I will remind her when it happens. It is sort of tough for me for two reasons: I dont want to hurt her feelings, because I understand she might be self-conscious of her disorder, and at the same time, I struggle with being straight-forward. I don't think she knows that I know she's autistic; her sister told me before I met her in person. I wish we could talk about her autism once so that she atleast knows I am aware of it; that would make things easier from here on out.
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