In need of Advice Hello: So today I had my 2nd team meeting, was not comforting and came out of it frustrated, sad and mad as hell!!!! My son who is 6 yrs old was diagnose with PDD-Nos about 3 months ago. Prior to this diagnosis he had been diagnose with ADHD at the age of 3 and with Sensory Disorder at 5.  He has taken occupational therapy for his sensory disorder but I had never put him on medication for his ADHD because I thought he was too young when he was diagnose and I was advice by his peditracian to wait until he was in regular school to see if he really needed meds.  As he grows up his ADHD has gotten worst so now I had to put him on Meds.  Before he enter Kindergarden he had been in headstart since he was 3 years old.  When I register him for Kindergarden I register him in my daughters school which is a charter school(college prep school) curriculum is extensive and advance but since my daughter has been going to this school since kindergarden and now is a senior, and she also have ADHD and regiment of the school has worked good for her I decided to also enroll my child there, not knowing how complicated his situation was.  I brought all the records of his OT and on orientation day I inform the teacher and the administrators that my son had 2 conditions and I explain everything to them and left copies of all the files I had so that they would be aware and help him with the transition.  2 weeks after school starter I get a call from the teacher asking for a conference I go and she asks me if my son had a problem because she has notice a few issues...mind you I had spoken to her previously and explain his condition and what she would see in my child.  then she tells me she had remove my child from the table he sat with 5 other children and sat him alone in a table because my son was being interruptive, and he was not letting the other kids concentrate which I was not happy about and let her know that I felt she was isolating my son.  My Kristofer was so excited to go into the big school as he calls it and after she isolatated him he didn't want to go to school and would give me a hard time.  I asked for a IEP to be done by letter 2 weeks after school starter, received a time and date for a team meeting about 2 weeks after that...in the meantime that I was waiting for the meeting I received a letter from the school letting me know that my son was being put in a program for kids that speak another language that is not English...mind you we only speak Englis in my home my son doesn't speak any other language when I complaint about it his teacher told me it was actually a good thing for him since he was having problems with his speech and he would be thaught in a small setting group. At the 1st team meeting the issue of his occupational therapy was discuss,the fact that I had inform practically everyone I had to of my son's condition and how poorly he was doing in his academics.  My son has glasses that he is suppose to use for farsight vision, because of his sensory disorder it is hard to get him to wear them.  They had the nerve to blame the fact that he was doing poorly in class because he wasn't wearing his glasses like he is suppose to, when they had the documents I had given to them the first day of class. It was a frustrating day but was told to get his Neuropsych testing done and then we would have another meeting to discuss testings and so I thought to get IEP going.  It is now January and 3 months have gone by with my son not getting any kind of assistance and being expected to do and keep up with everyone else which is impossible.  After Neuropshych testing he was found to have PDD-Nos and a lot of developmental delay issues.  Sorry to be so long but I need you to understand where I'm coming from.  Today was the 2nd team meeting, I'm still trying to deal with him beeing diagnose and getting use to change the way I do a lot of things, I go into this meeting with my sister and sit there to here how badly my son is doing in classroom, have a school psychologist tell me all the thngs that are a problem for my child and how difficult it is going to be to handle his situation.  I was totally overwhelm and broke down in tears...It is one thing for you to try and grasp that your child has problems and is different and another to hear from a bunch of strangers how bad is it.  I felt like they were saying that my child was retarded and that basically it was pointless to try and teach him.  These were the words his teacher used "it is basically pointless to put a book in front of him" His teacher is a young woman who's only been teaching for about 2 yrs and in my opinion not prepared to handle a child with this condition.  I feel she was unsensitve and that she can care less if my child goes to school or not.  She is basically not doing work with my son because she says she has a class of 25 kids who are already well advance and it will be hard for her to try and help my child who basically doesn't have the basics of learning.  So it was my impression that she is not working with my son at all because she has given up on him, so while she is teaching her class with the advance children my son is coloring or doing Legos!!!!!ugh so upset.  The entire team didn't know what to do to accomodate my son in his IEP.  Teacher ask who was going to do all this special accomodations for him because she has a full class and doesnt necessary have the time to give to my son. I was so overwhelm that I couldn't even speak and so mad that all I was thinking of was to just lash out at her with meanest words I can say.  I'm planning to take my son out of this school but need to wait for his IEP so he doesnt go through all of this again.  In the meantime I'm debating whether to keep him home and teaching him myself since he is not doing anything at school but waiting for his IEP to be approved.  Please help me and give me advice.  Im planning to call the school and give a formal complaint about the teacher although I don't want to mess with the teacher's job because I understand she is inexperience and young but I have to be my son's advocate and my son deserves to get a good education just like every other kid out there.  Do you think I'm acting right? am I handling the situation the right way?  Please I await your answers!!!!!!!Thank you and I apoligize for the long topic... It is very hard to go through the evaluation process. Reading my son's evals, I cried so much because they were pointing out every little problem and delay he had, things I hadn't realized, either. I felt like a bad parent, like it was hopeless, like he was never going to be able to succeed. But, keep in mind, that the more detailed their report is, the more help your son can receive. The evals aren't malicious, they just need to know as much as possible and it can be overwhelming to see everything layed out like that. I agree that this school does not sound like the best place for your son. Most private schools are not used to handling children with special needs. How are the public schools around you? I would speak with them first, bring the evaluations and see what services they will provide your son. I believe you are still entitled to the services even if you homeschool. The only reservations I have about homeschooling is social interaction. Spectrum kids need to be around other children and to learn how to interact. Good luck! Oh, and my kid that had the horrible eval and couldn't stay in school for more than 2 hours is now in public school full time and one of his teacher's favorites. He still struggles because he missed half a year's instruction, but he is making progress. madderakka40186.9025115741 Hi Lighteyes,    I'm sorry you had such a bad experience.  You will find lots of teachers and psychologists can be cold and take away your hope.  You have to never loose hope and keep learning to do everything you can for your son.  You will find allies somewhere down the line.  Your child does not belong in that lady's room as you have admitted.     If your Dr is not experienced enough about Autism, then you need to find someone who can help you.  Maybe you can start medications at a smaller dose and see how it goes.  Are you sure those people at this present school have enough experience to be able to put together the right kind of help your child needs on paper?  If not be prepared to have an IEP do over soon at his new school.  Focus on finding him a school that can be helpful.     If you have the resources to help him at home, if the IEP is going to take a significant amount of time, I would pull him out to work with him so you will have a better understanding of his deficiences.      It seems to me that your child's situation is not severe since it was not that glaring till he got to school.  So roll up your sleeve, don't let anybody take away your hope.  Nobody knows the future.  Goodluck.  Let's know how things go. Concernedpa.   [QUOTE=LIGHTEYES] ...have a school psychologist tell me all the thngs that are a problem for my child and how difficult it is going to be to handle his situation.  I was totally overwhelm and broke down in tears...It is one thing for you to try and grasp that your child has problems and is different and another to hear from a bunch of strangers how bad is it.  I felt like they were saying that my child was retarded and that basically it was pointless to try and teach him.  These were the words his teacher used "it is basically pointless to put a book in front of him" His teacher is a young woman who's only been teaching for about 2 yrs and in my opinion not prepared to handle a child with this condition.  I feel she was unsensitve and that she can care less if my child goes to school or not. [/QUOTE] I have mixed feelings about your post.  When they said that they were going to place your PDD kid with kid with communications problems (but otherwise NT) it sounded good.  That had been recommended to us several times by evaluators outside of school.  Concept is that the intellectual level is appropriate for your kid (presumably of normal intelligence since the Dx was at age 6) while he learns the social communications skills with the other kids.  I don't know how it works in practice since we never were offered such a placement.  So it did not sound so bad. But when I got to the stuff I quoted, I was concerned since it sounds like they are giving up on him and don't want to be bothered.  One question is if putting a book in front of him is so hopeless what has happened in school prior to this?  Also, are you reading to him at home?  Does he follow along?  They might be confusing a lack of desire to please the teacher with not being able to do the work.  Ignoring an uninteresting (in his eyes) book sounds like PDD to me.  [However, I doubt that you'll be able to convince anyone of this.  Parents, after all, are "not trained professionals" and cannot possible work with kids.  It a wonder that they let us have them, if you know what I mean.] IMHO you'd probably need an outside evaluation to verify he's diagosed correctly and get a non-verbal sort of IQ, so you are not testing to his communication issues related to the PDD.  Then you'd have something to back up your argument that giving up on him is not educationally correct, even if it is a bunch easier. I'm not sure about the rest of the team.  They might just be trying to prepare you for dealing with a PDD kid (which is not easy since most of what everyone knows about kids seems wrong for them).  Or they might be trying to persuade you to leave and not mess up their advanced school.  Problem with the second possibility is that once the staff has made that sort of decision it does not really matter if the school is a good placement or not.  If the staff is not willing to help out your kid then it is a bad placement because of the staff attitude. Sounds like they are giving you the run-around and want your kid out. My kids are at a public school, and it's not a whole lot better. They'd like to be rid of my "problem kids". It's always a battle. Sorry you're going through this.
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