Books on grieving/death? I actually do not know of any books but just wanted to say that my prayers will be with your family and I hope your father will go peacefully and with the least amount of pain possible.  How old is your father?  If anyone is aware of any good books on a grandparent dying or going to heaven etc. I would be very grateful if you would share that here. My dad doesn't have much longer and I have been talking with my ds about the possibility. I have a lot of professional training, but a lot goes out the window when I'm dealing with the possibility of my daddy dying. His decline has been fairly rapid. Even in September, he was getting around (albeit with a walker) and talking/joking etc. He can't walk and today couldn't even talk at all. He is practically catatonic and he has possible renal failure. He is severely dehydrated and was admitted again to the hospital from the nursing home (which he just went to less than a month ago). Anyway, I know my ds is very sad and I want to make sure I'm handling things right. I'm trying to prepare him now because I just don't know how patient I will be after the fact. I will of course do my best - but I'm trying to plant seeds now. We talked about when grandpa does go to heaven that he won't be in pain any more and that he will be able to watch over us and possibly even help ds' guardian angel (they are talking about guardian angels in their religion class). And I told him that I want him to pick out at least one thing of Grandpa's that he can keep for the rest of his life to remember him by. The most amazing thing? Ds was most worried about his sister. He said several times that she was too young to have to go through this. I told him he was right and that I had had the exact same thing happen to me when I was her age - my grandpa died when I was 5. And I told him I thought she was too young too - and that he was too young as well. But that God has plans for all of us and we just need to trust in Him that it is the right thing. Anyway, if anyone knows of any books that could help I would greatly appreciate your posting about them. I have one or two, but I figured it's best to be prepared. Thanks. He is 83 years old - almost 84. In the last year, he has declined very rapidly. Seven months ago,  he was still driving, walking around without a walker and laughing/talking/joking. The last few weeks he has not been able to get out of bed without the assistance of two aides, cannot dress himself, can't talk above a whisper, and even has had to start to be fed by someone else. It has been an amazingly rapid decline. Thanks lovec55. I appreciate any and all prayers. We definitely need them right now! I hope that this can help. My son was 4 when my Father-in-law died. We explained to him that his Pap Pap wasn't feeling good anymore and that he went to Heaven to be with God and the Angels. We explained how Pap Pap's body wore out, but his spirit is everywhere, just like God.  All that he [Our Son] has to do to feel good about Pap Pap is to think good thoughts, and Pap Pap will be right there for you. My own Dad is 83 and still in decent shape. What you are going through is pretty much inevitable for us, so I wish you Peace, Love, and an easy explaination for your children. I don't think that you have the time to read a book to find this answer, so hug your kids and let your heart do the thinking. Sorry to hear about your dad.  I can not say much more than allow your child to take his time to greive. It may not hit rig away or he may fele better by the funeral who knows.   http://kidshealth.org/kid/feeling/emotion/somedie.html  I believe there was a thread about this I will try to find it. http://www.autism-pdd.net/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=34171&am p;KW=RandomKid http://www.autism-pdd.net/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=33430&am p;KW=RandomKid Thanks Lyssa - those were some great resources. I didn't have time or energy to search and I greatly appreciate you doing that for me. I was more interested in children's books on death - sorry I wasn't more clear in my original post. I  know I have at least one - but I'm not sure where it is. I need to try to find it first thing tomorrow morning. I will also print out that social story that you posted in the thread that gavinsmom started. Thanks very much for that and everything else. My son is 12 and has lost at least three very close relatives in his short life.  We are just honest with him.  We let him ask questions.  He still does ask questions about these deaths from time to time.  I always figured that if he wasn't grieving appropriately or if one of the death impacted him harder than it should, we would get him some therapy.  He hasn't needed it yet.  Your son might surprise you.  One thing you can prepare him for is that Mommy is going to be very sad and upset.  Mommy is going to cry.  The crying seemed hard for my son.   Prayers for you and your family.  I am so sorry to hear about your father. You and your family are definitely in my prayers. I remember recommending a book to someone a few years back. This is a picture book for children and it is called "Grandma's Gone to Live In the Stars" by Max Haynes.  It had lovely illustrations and it was a very simplified but someone comforting version of death/dying. I found it by accident because it had been misshelved at the library and I was putting it back. aloha! If Mr. Rogers addressed the topic on one of his shows, you might be able to find it on youtube. I'm not sure, but it might be worth looking into. Sorry I don't know of any other resources. Nicole I want to say Mr Rogers has a book movie. I might have  it wrong though. There are some book suggestions under my topic Death and dying resources: http://www.autism-pdd.net/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=27023&am p;KW=death+and+dying Hugs. The Mr. Rogers episode is from 1970, number 1101, "Death of a goldfish".  Pictures here and a short description here, but no youtube video that I could find. http://neighborhoodarchive.blogspot.com/2009/09/episode-1101 -death-of-goldfish-1970.html Here's a 6 minute video of the grown-ups on Sesame Street helping Big Bird learn what it means that Mr. Hooper is dead.  They didn't talk about heaven. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YZTvDZHRFrU Thanks NorwayMom! Aw. Snoop, I'm so sorry to hear all of this! I don't have any suggestions on books...haven't had to go there yet. I think your explanations to your son are beautiful and very good at helping him to understand what will happen. I agree with the person who said you should prepare him for your reaction as well, and let him know it is OK to cry and he can cry too. For those of us who practice a religion, our faith can really gives us strength and comfort in times like this. I love how your son understands something that can be so abstract for our kiddos. The Mr. Rogers episode that came to my mind (and boy, we're going waaaaaay back) was when one of his fish in that tank passed on. I remember him showing the spot it was buried with a grave marker that said "Fish." There may be newer episodes that dealt with dying in a different way. I think Sesame St has addressed the issue as well, with Mr. Hooper (another older show). Big Bird was pretty upset. I don't believe they talked about Heaven, but maybe that could help your children out if the episode in on You Tube or another site. What I can offer you for sure is prayers that God will give you strength in the days to come and that your father's ultimate passing will be peaceful.
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