1 & 2 = 3 Figuring out Life...From A to Z ….The Process
of “How Things Connect” or “Cause and
Effect” = “Connection” Well something hit me this past weekend, and it was, as the saying goes…”A Ton of Bricks.” I didn’t expect it, and it had a very bitter/sweet effect on me. In order for there to be true understanding of this…I must start from the beginning: It started 9 years ago as I started down the very new and challenging role of mothering my son who was Aspergers. I felt pretty confident about my mothering skills as I had 3 other “typical children”…but this…well, it was definitely a new and alien journey. The one aspect of this journey that was very hard to understand is the “Cause and Effect” process…that most all babies learn very naturally, and usually in the first months of their lives. And from the time the first object is dropped to the floor from their highchair, and they come to the realization of what a release of grip from that chubby little hand can accomplish….It is all uphill from there. That little brain starts to realize and comprehend all sorts of marvelous wonders that can be accomplished with this amazing concept. The thing is, my little boy never did truly comprehend this most wonderful thing, and be able to advance it to further levels of development…especially in communication, and if he did understand it somewhat, he was never able to express himself fully to explain his questions or thoughts or fears. And so, his little world was quite unsteady for him, and life would stumble upon him like a surprise…and often it wouldn’t be a good one. Most of you know that lately though, for my son, things have really started to turn around in the last 6 months, as he has been responding to a new therapy, Hemispheric Integration. That being said, I’ve noticed leaps and bounds in regard to improvement of his communication skills. Things like, understanding, and getting humor for the very first time, and truly laughing at a joke. Also, understanding pragmatic language, and double meanings, and how to whisper, and tone his voice to match the circumstance. And, he is mirroring…and…WOW…the connection and bonding that is happening with these things is like a miracle to me, because I am finally bonding with my son, and I have longed for this for so very long. Well the “Ton of Bricks” fell on top of me, when I realized
that my son was making a huge connection about an enormous upheaval in our
family, in the form of his father possibly having to move from So yes…bitter/sweet indeed!!! So sweet…the fact, that now, he can communicate his fears, and questions to me, his mother, and I can respond to him and explain, in order to assist him, as to how to deal successfully with his emotions. So sweet…the fact, that now, he can understand the connections… “If this is so…then…this will happen…and we will react this way…” So sweet…the fact, that he can be soothed with understanding the “Big Picture”, and how he fits into it, along with the ones he loves, and thus feel secure. And yes, also… bitter it is, that there are these types of stresses that we have come to bear, in this tough economic time. And… bitter it is, that our children cannot be sheltered from it, and we must try to assist them in dealing with these upheavals, and changes to their routines. I do find however, that in this situation, for my little boy…there is more sweet than bitter, as we deal with this enormous “Life Change”. And, there will always be upheavals, and stresses…and…that is what “Life” is, as it is truly ever changing. Our true measure of success as people, is how we deal with these things, physically, mentally, and emotionally. Now for the first time, I am gaining confidence, as I look to my son’s future…and I see a brighter one. As, I see the connections of “Cause and Effect” that he is developing finally…I also see in him, emerging within his person, the right emotional tools to deal successfully in life, with both the Bitter…and the Sweet. Kimberly Larochelle |
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