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| low budget dave....
I believe that as children get more sophisticated, their fear of failure gets more complex.
I love this!! where does this insight come from when your child is only 16mos old?
kristin
[QUOTE=basal1999]
I believe that as children get more sophisticated, their fear of failure gets more complex.
I love this!! where does this insight come from when your child is only 16mos old?
kristin
[/QUOTE] what dose that mean[QUOTE=autti34][QUOTE=basal1999]
I believe that as children get more sophisticated, their fear of failure gets more complex.
I love this!! where does this insight come from when your child is only 16mos old?
kristin
[/QUOTE] what dose that mean[/QUOTE]
autti,
the first line was a quote from a post from low budget dave but i didn't "quote" it and i am asking where his/her wisdom comes from, is this what you wanted to know??
kristin I was thinking of myself, in a way. When I watch my son, I can see that he gets frustrated easily any time he can't do something. For example, he tries to sit up as he slides down a slide, but he does not have the sense of balance to do it. So when he tilts over, it makes him frustrated and mad. After only a few tries, he stops trying. At his age, it is just frustration, but as he gets older, he will develop a fear of failure.
In "The Autism Resource Book" it warns that many autistics do not like to try new things, and do not like to do things that are hard for them. This is not just laziness. Children are aware from a very early age how other people react to their successes and failures, and autistic children quickly learn that other children can do things easily that come very hard to an autistic.
Aggression is a natural human behavior. If you take someone who is mad and frustrated, and add in the peers watching you fail, it is only natural to react with anger.
Imagine if you were taking a test in front of all your friends, and you were failing even though you tried as hard as you could. How would you react? Speaking for myself, it took me many years to learn that there are some things I can't do. (I can't hit a high fastball, for example,) When I was younger, I would have reacted with anger. I would then avoid the sitution because of my own fear of failure.
I believe that much of the violence we see from our children is due to fear, such as fear of failure, and frustration at being put in the same situation in spite of their fears.
As I mentioned, though, this is just a guess. A doctor might offer better insight, but some of the doctors I have known seem to be insight-free.
Even if the insight is wrong, certainly there is a school of thought that says to let your child succeed in public, but make their mistakes only in front of people they really trust. If it is stupid, but it works, then it isn't stupid. |
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