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The Future...Now my first request is that the mods don't send this thread to the Education section... it does get "trapped" there when less parents trawl that section. Requests aside... We (my wife & I) are from Malaysia and we have an autistic son who's coming to 10 years old this year. He has a younger bro, NT, who's 8 years old. We started with the usual EIP's with Daniel (ASD) when he was 5 onwards (a bit late already by some centre's standards But Daniel being High Functioning does help him to pick up verbal skills faster and subsequently listening to instruction. He was there for 1/2 year. After that, it was to a Montessori setting for 1 1/2 years which was equally helpful in its own way... with the diverse teachers taking care of different "stations"... BUT ALL THIS WHILE, Daniel has his rigid routines to follow, echolalia to bear and the occasional tantrums to quell... Then it was Primary School when he was 7 years old... Barring the initial "bullying" be the other kids, time in school has been a generally enjoyable time that Daniel looks forward to... [ the bullying has certainly stopped what with the father now in the PTA, the Vice-Chairman and also "head" of the Discipline Bureau ] NOW, he's in Year 4, two more years before he sits a major exam to bring him into Lower Secondary when he's 13 years old (High School as you would call it).. BUT ACADEMICALLY, we recognize his deficiencies... THUS There is this real worry of what Daniel will be like in the future when he enters his teenage years... his future when he's in his 20's etc So it would be GREATLY APPRECIATED if those pathfinders (parents who have gone ahead... This is not just about Education... but really, it's about our child's FUTURE.. THANK YOU... from The BooBear of the East I too worry a lot about my son's future...... seems no one else in my family does- but I am honestly terrified of death as I know my son needs me so much. It is so scary to me I can't even imagine him without me in his life. I worry will he ever lead even close to a normal life- will he ever attend main streamed classes? Go to college, hold a job, have a relationship? This questions fill my mind everyday... My ds is 13, and is way behind academically. He will never graduate from high school with a regular diploma, and I honestly have doubts about a modified diploma. If your son shows interest in math, science, etc., but you feel the teachers are inept, I think the homeschool option is certainly worth considering, particularly if there is a way you can keep him socially involved with other kids his age. Many homeschool organizations here in the states set aside specific days for group activities so that the children still get the real world experience. I also love the idea of the arts and music classes since he shows an interest in those things. I wish my son showed more aptitude for things other than reading (he's way above grade-level there, but the math is a complete and total flop despite lots and lots of effort on my part). He recently expressed an interest in dance, but lost that interest as quickly as it appeared Does your child have other areas of strength that might benefit him in the adult world, specifically with jobs, etc.? It is good that you are exploring all options. I continually search to find the "secret ingredient" with my son, hoping to find the one thing that will spark his interest and keep him motivated in his struggles, and perhaps even "pull ahead", but so far, no luck. I wish you the best in your efforts. I do think the strengths he shows are very positive for his outcome... THANKS Linda (foxl) for kick-starting the responses to this thread... Yes... no need for words of wisdom here... but words of encouragement from sharing your rich & diverse experiences... with one another. I think that's why it's worthwhile to let this thread run a full course with input from those who have "seen it & dun it"... and even from "wannabes" like me & babyboy2005 still searching for answers in this wide, wide web... Thanks for your queries 42gether... I don't think we have identified his areas of strength that will help in the working world (we can't even imagine him holding down a job !! So let's hear it from the other mums, dads, grannys and grampys... aunts and uncles... EVERYONE !!! Teens on the spectrum, adults even... Adam is 14 now and he struggles greatly with language and math. He is in a self contained class for both. I am not sure how the schools system works for you, but Adam will be attending high school next year. He will be in self contained english, a special reading class with a speech pathologist (she also helps with writing, which your said your son has difficulty with). For us on the testing, he is not required to do the essays so that is not an issue for us. He is very interested in computers and he is actually in a high school level computer class and will continue to be in several during his high school career. Adam has made friends and does not get picked on at all anymore. He will probably need to be in highschool at least on extra year because a full course load would be too much for him. But we are going to do one class in summer school each year and we are hoping he will graducate with a diploma. He is coming around sociallly, but that is his biggest hurdle. My son will be 8 in a few months. I, like everyone else, worry about his future too.I will tell you what has been going on with him recently. All of his life, he never showed ANY interest whatsoever in sports - and would, at best, tolerate our efforts in signing him up for t-ball, etc. At worst, it was a meltdown to get him there. Then, came this year. ALL OF A SUDDEN, he decided he wanted to try a sport. I suggested basketball and he took a community ed course in basketball - something like 5 Saturdays in a row and the class was like an hour each. My dh went with him, but sat off on the sidelines like other parents. He LOVED it and did GREAT! My dh says his shot is really pretty good and I was surprised at how hard he is passing the ball (I have been playing a little one-on-one with him when I can too). We have a mini-basketball court in our development and if my ds gets there early enough, he can play for a long time. On Saturday, he played for 3 hours, stopping only for water breaks. He plays with other kids doing this. He is slowly learning the game. Now, I remember last year when the whole J-Mac thing was going on and, while that made me very happy for his family - it made me sad for my ds. We couldn't seem to find an area of interest for him and he just seemed to be flailing. Now, he seems to have found another purpose in life and something that excites him. We talked yesterday about getting one of those really nice basketball hoops that have a somewhat weighted base, yet you can also roll them around. His eyes just lit up and he asked if he could get that for his birthday - that is ALL he wants. And considering the cost, is all he will get!  My point in all of this (yes, there IS one!). is that sometimes it just takes one thing to get our kids going and all of a sudden, we see a huge difference in them. Since he found basketball, his grades have improved and he moved up a reading class. He is getting 100% scores, most weeks on his spelling, math and reading comprehension tests. It is like the basketball thing has given him confidence in other areas as well. Socially, we're still working on things - but I think in the long run, basketball will help him a LOT in that area. If music and art are those areas that really get your child's interest - I highly encourage you to pursue those! If you do homeschool though - make sure you are getting him out in the community and interacting a LOT with other kids his age. That is such an important piece of attending school. While it's not always positive, it also prepares our kids for the "real world" too. Who knows - maybe your son will be a composer or part of a "garage band". Thanks for starting this thread - I think it does us all good to hear each other's stories and what has/hasn't worked! My ds -who is nine- came up to me this weekend and said that he worried about how he was going to make it as an adult since some things are hard for him and it was hard for him to make friends. I am somewhat at a loss because I do share his fears and I don't want to reassure them away for him because they are right. I just told him that he would be okay because would make sure that he was not on his own until he was ready to be and that he would find his nitch in the world. My greatest fear for my son is that he will be high functioning enough to not qualify for services but too low functioning to make it without. He is bright but his academic and functional skills are far from typical. I am not even sure if it is right to say that they are low or high (I hav heard both from teachers) but they are just so different and mainstream is not working at all. I read the biography of Temple Grandin's mom. I remember one story where Temple (who was very low-functioning as a kid) was a teenager and her mom sent her to the hardware store to get wood. Temple said she did not want to go, that she could not manage but her mom said to not worry if the words came out wrong -she just had to go. And she came back and said the cried the whole time but she did it and she was very proud. (something like that). Anyway - as my son gets older I think more and more about what self-advocacy skills he will need to make it in the world. Some of his skills will never be sufficient but I want him to know that this is his world too and not to be stopped by being afraid or embarrassed or different. People won't always understand him but he still has the right to speak and do. I want him to understand his disability but I also don't want him to think of himself as disabled -if that makes sense. So I worry about the future but this is what I will focus on :supporting his strength, working on his weaknesses, developing good self-advocacy and building a strong community for him. But I worry and so does he. I THANK YOU, Micki, Dawn (Adamsmom) & Snoopywoman !!! You have ALL contributed NUGGETS of wisdom to all of us here... Micki, do you know that when your ds says "he is worried about how he was going to make it"... that in itself is an expression of his inner thoughts. And it's something so, so very rare for us to hear from our ASD kid. Dawn (Adamsmom)... it's wonderful to hear of Adam's progress. BUT I think Snoopywoman has made us see a way, a good way to set our kids on the right track... I think when you mentioned your intent on buying the basketball hoop and "HIS EYES JUST LIT UP"... it must have made your day !!! So for now it's just still part of a journey of discovery... of what lies ahead... in the FUTURE... Let's here more from everyone... Cheers from the Boobear again and many bear hugs to all... |
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) Nevertheless, we managed to find one which had a good teacher-student ratio... 2 teachers to 6 students... which HELPED start Daniel on a sound footing... It was costly though... RM 600 per month (that's USD 166-approx). Intensive 5 day week, 4 hours/day.
) could maybe share your thoughts on this matter.
)
Here the choice of subjects are so very rigid, so you end up with subjects like History, Geography, Moral Studies to go with the usual languages, Maths and Science. And we do not have the "self-contained" classes you mentioned about.
