The monster inside my sonA painful story to read, about a son who was a success story in junior high but is now a violent wreck as an adult. http://www.salon.com/mwt/feature/2009/03/26/bauer_autism/ind ex.html Let us all hope this is not a glimpse of our futures.A very difficult article to read. Squid over at her "Leelo" blog has some interesting links to various boards discussing this article, including one with data on Autism and violence... http://www.squidalicious.com/ Rockys said "A very difficult article to read." I agree, I was just thinking yesterday, how my son is acting like he did when he was 4 years old. I thought it was the worse two years we had, had with him, 4-6. Now I feel the most difficult time we've had with him is now at 14 years old. My son can become verbally violent at times, has never hurt me physically but, he is starting to get mean to us again, this is how he was at 4years old, and the sensory issues are sometimes worse than when he was 4. Maybe because they are more noticeable at 14. I could really relate to the eating references, and the wearing of odd clothes, my son has always done this. I had just gotten to the point of " He is what he is", kinda of thinking and if you don't like it, to bad, when things started to go very sour again. NorwayMom, as usual you post something I can relate to. After reading these articles, I realize how much worse it could be, or could get. Thank You! I agree with snoopywoman, this case is haunting. The same set of parents led to a success story in junior high and a horror story in early adulthood? Obviously it's not their fault. It's probably a very complicated mix of factors. I thought I'd point out that Kari Dunn Buron has a book called "5 is against the law" (a spin-off of the Incredible 5 point scale book) which might be useful for prevention.
The other thing I wondered about was her son regressing at 3 1/2. Isn't that awful late for typical ASD? The reference woodsman to him growing a full beard at 18 being out of the norm. When I read this article I immediately thought this kid had things going on inside of him that probably could be corrected biomedically...sounds like his testosterone is in overdrive, and probably some other major hormonal imbalances that kicked in late, or for some reason into hyperdrive. I'm a big proponent of treating autism biomedically, and I am willing to bet that this form of treatment would vastly help this child. My 17 year old has gone from being on 4 mood stabilizers and anti-psychotic medications to just one under the treatment of our DAN! Dr. All of his so called "bipolar" tendencies and problems with violence were results of toxicities and other issues that reared their ugly heads when his hormones started raging at adolescence. I checked out some other articles by this mother, and she actually references problems with her son starting a little earlier, more around 13-14 if I remember correctly. I hope they find the answers they are looking for. This article scared the willies out of me too, BTW. It did disturb me a lot. When my son was around 3 1/2 to 4 1/2, that was the worst year of our life. That was the year of potty training and meltdowns. But, we worked with a behavioral psychologist and have worked with him constantly on how to calm himself down. At some point, I want to teach him meditation (this worked very well for a college friend of mine, who I suspect to at least have some Asperger-like tendencies). I do worry that we are in a "honeymoon" phase. I have read many times that between the ages of 7 and 10, that our kids often seem to do "fine". I don't want to lose these years - so I am going to try to help him in a lot of ways to channel any negative energy he has. Right now, it is going towards sports - most particularly basketball. I hope that if he has some way to channel any negative energy he has and to get it out - that this will be a good coping mechanism for when he gets older. And, since there really isn't a way to predict how he will act when he hits adolescence and all those hormones kick in - well besides all the therapies and working with him on different coping strategies and teaching him social skills and everything else - the only other thing I can do is pray that this doesn't happen to him - or to any other child. This is a parent's worst nightmare, in my opinion. But everyone, please keep in mind how rare this is. We might have heard of a dozen cases in the last few years where a teenager or young adult with autism has turned violent - but think of how many people in this country actually HAVE autism. When you look at it like that, you can see that it is very rare that something like this will happen. And in several of those cases, the person with autism was either recently diagnosed or diagnosed after-the-fact. That wasn't the case here - but that makes this case even rarer. JulieA posted while I was typing and I wanted to respond to something she said. The ability to grow a full beard at 18 isn't common - but BEING ABLE TO GROW A BEARD BY TWILIGHT? Very few men can do that. My husband has a five-o-clock shadow by the end of the day and he is particularly hairy. But it takes him a week to grow a full beard. In my opinion there is definitely something going on hormonally with this boy. I don't have much knowledge of biomedical intervention - but boy, if I had this kind of sudden change in behavior - I would sure look into it PRONTO! I wonder if this has been suggested to this mom. I don't know if it would even be in her control now, since he is not in her care. I hope they are able to somehow get him help - this case is going to haunt me, I think. I had to find the time to read the article and comment. Their was alot of interesting stuff in their. It didnt give an idea about the functioning level of this guy, but if hes out commiting petty crimes like dining and dashing, he must be pretty high functioning, cause that takes some caluclation, planning ahead, and knowing escape routes. My circumstances were similar in some ways, but every different in others. As a kid I did have some violent outbursts. My first year as an adult I was arrested and thrown in jail for kicking my neghboors ass, something I regretted ever since, but at the time feel it was justified, he was bullying me, so I bullied back. And their are times where do I feel the overwhelming desire to be confrontational, usually towards someone who I felt did me wrong or was unessissarily rude, but over the years leared that that kind of stuff gets ya into trouble and into fights, into jail. I have a temper but also am generally a good person. I was surprised to read about some of his crimes, while he was out shoplifting and dinning and dashing, I used to sell pot mainly for social acceptance in high school and collage and less about the money because my parents had more then enough of it. I liked the idea I was a part of something, and gained alot of popularity in high school and collage as a guy who had 'connections.' Then their are very different things, this guy was 18 and could grow a beard? Is that normal? I really dont think so. Also the sexual assult on that poor women, hes lucky hes not in prison for that cause most people inlcuding myself would be for acting like that. so IDK, I see many similarities and differences between myself and him, but that story was pretty rough, probably shows the worst things that can happen to an adult ASD. I guess I could relate to him more if I never had acheived the relative success I did in life, if you got nothing you dont have anything to loose I suppose. If I was an adult with no job, home, things, cash, and car and no hope for ever acheiving something worth while in my life, and I understood that I would be pretty pissed off too and probably would blaim society for that and act out in God only knows what ways. And thats just it, some of us will live lives we can be proud of, and maby some will not, those that become adults and understand this I can definatly see would be more capible of of acting out because their is nothing to loose. I know I am f*cked up in societies eyes and will never achive, so ill f*ck society because they cant take anything from me. Its a sad story, but I also think its an extream of what can happen, and that after reading it I still beleive most of your kids will achive in life and could probably exceed what I have done with mine. I admit I haven't made it all the way through the article, but did they not consider that something else may have come up as he hit his late teens? I have a brother who has bipolar - not ASD - and wasn't symptomatic until 15 or so, when he started trying to beat up everyone who came hear him - family, friends, even a cop once. On meds, he's fine. I just wonder what else may be affecting that young man that they're not looking for because of his ASD diagnosis. I in no way blaming the parents. My heart breaks for them - it's the ultimate nightmare to get that close to the finish line thinking everything's going to be ok, then have the rug pulled out from under you. It's unimaginable. I just wonder if the professionals are looking at all the options. I read this article last night and it haunted me as well. I also read all the letters in response (most were very critical of the author, blaming her parenting, accusing her of profitting off her son's condition, etc., very depressing and not recommended). Bottom line, I can't get her story out of my head. I always try and find a bright side to everything, but in this case I just feel sad and empty. i read this and wept. this potential reality scares me. and definitely makes me more and more curious about bm interventions. on the flip side of this tragic story, also remember the valentines story of two young adults with autism who fell in love and are doing so wonderfully. togther. for themselves AND each other. that is beyond HUGE. and wonderful.Okay I quickly skimmed over the article. I think it should be remembered that more acts of violece are commited against people with autism than by them. It has made the headlines lately of a professor being supposedly beaten to death by her autistic son. How many more autistic children are murdered by their parents? How many people who are not autistic commit horrible acts of violence and crime. It would appear her son not only had autism but possibly psychiatric conditions that became apparent in his late teens - he was medicated for them. While people may be shocked or scared by articles like this and it is this families reality - there are many more autistic people that suffer under the hands of violence. Online dizzy has a good point. People with autism are more likely to be victims of violence than to commit intentional violence. But unintentional violence is something we need to be aware of. Meltdowns in a teen or adult can be dangerous for both them and those around them. One reason the story is so haunting for me is that there is a man here in our small town who reportedly has schizophrenia. He killed his father because he was out of control. I see him all the time. He's always alone. Isis Mommy mentioned the story of the couple in love. If anyone hasn't read it yet, you'll find it here. http://www.autism-pdd.net/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=31155&am p;KW=couple Thanks.All right. I am VERY confused. There was another salon article posted in the Progressing rapidly/MRI thread that was written by an Ann Bauer. If this is the same person - there is WAY more to the story. At least at one point, they thought that their son had developed something called autistic catatonia and the psychiatrists treating him gave him some anti-psychotic meds that can have very bad side effects for people with this condition. She realized this after googling one night and then her ex-husband took him to the Mayo Clinic where they did a lot of things to get all of these medicines out of his system and he apparently started to do better. But, if this is the same person, things obviously have changed and not for the better. It sounds to me like there is something more than autism going on here - even though the author claims there is not... But, that's just my two cents! It was difficult to read because ds had enough bad days that I could imagine that this could be my son. I had read some of Ann Bauers stuff before and most are more elaborate versions of postings here -they are about days where you feel everything is going well and the days where you feel your kid slipping through your fingers. This is clearly a time where she feels her son has slipped trough her fingers. Though clearly her son has entered a very difficult time I refuse to think that this is how it will be for the rest of his life. He might have some comorbidity with another illness and there is a good chance that this too will stabilize or improve or respond to appropriate treatment. But her article reminded me that nothing is for granted and though asd is not tyically a regressive disease some of our kids will have rough patches in adolescence and adulthood. So I will take from this to be sure to enjoy ds's good days because nothing is for granted. |
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