Anxiety-ever get better??
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I really don't know what to do about this anymore. Both of my girls have tremendous anxiety when they are most places. I can't take them to anyone's home, even if they've been there several times (with the exception of my mom's house--they are okay going there but it took awhile), can't take them to a store, can't take them to a kid's event or playplace. The only place we have had success is at the park and that can be limited. Usually they begin to cry after just a few minutes which quickly will escalate into a panicked crying that won't stop. M was seeming to be better recently and was able to go many places and stay for a half hour or so, but now she can't. I know some of this is sensory related and we have tried many ways to make them comfortable (K likes being in the cart, gives her security, M likes to be out of the cart, we leave wherever we are when if becomes evident that they won't be able to handle being there) but it seems like once I get one of them to go a few places and not have a meltdown for a few weeks in a row then the other regresses and can't go anywhere. We are still working on this daily, and I don't take them on long shopping trips EVER, just quick, get in get out type situations--never more than 30 minutes even if they are totally fine with the experience, after all, they are two year olds! This has been going on since they were 9 months old and I'm beginning to wonder if I'm ever going to be able to take my children on playdates, or to the zoo, or anyplace other than 5 minute excursions into Target. I really don't know how they are going to handle PPCD in October. I can't keep them in the house their entire life they have to have some life experiences to progress and grow but how do we get those if they can't handle going anywhere? Can anxieties possibly get better with age (they are now 29 months)? Is this typical of some autistic kids, or could it be a seperate condition? Sorry for the rambling post, I have talked with many other moms and no one has had this type of issue, I don't know what to do to help my girls. It does get better, at least it did with my son. He is 11 now and can go anywhere. We couldn't leave him anywhere without him having a meltdown. Our Child Development Center helped him work through a lot of his issues. It would break my heart to leave him there because he would meltdown but it had to be done. We didn't know if he would ever be able to go to school but he does very well now. We didn't take him pout to eat or other places comfortably until he was about 5 years old (even then we had our moments). It's probably harder for you because your kids react to one another's stress as well.Hang in there. It will get better but sometimes progress is slow. Your girls are still pretty little. Heck even twins without delays are hard to take anywhere especially twins!!  Bobbie Hi-- Also, in my experience, it does get a lot better. When my daughter was two we really couldn't go to the park, the grocery store, anywhere...but over time she got a lot better at self-soothing and handling stimulation. Now, she's 7, and for the past year I'd say we've been able to do most things. So, if you have services for your girls, and support for you...things will keep improving. It just takes longer than one might expect, but it *happens.* So, keep the faith!! I can tell you about myself, but my dd does NOT have anxiety. She does not seem to care about much, in fact ... I was so anxious I was put on medication at 6. I was a total space cadet that year, apparently! Anyhow ... I can remember being anxious -- not that I could identify myself as different from peers, but people told me, or my Mom in front of me, all my life, that I was. (I do think I am Aspie). At age 14 I was labeled, "The Nervous One" by my friend's grandma. I was a late bloomer (well, duh) and married at age 31. For two years I worried that I was not entitled to being this happy (the irony) and that I would come home and the house would have burned down. I mean, frequent-to-constant, lump-in-the-throat, anxiety. It just seemed to diminish, gradually, after that. So, I was anxious like that till my 30's, without (other than self-prescribed) meds. I think Temple Grandin writes about it in Thinking in Pictures. I also believe sometimes it goes away on its own, and other times, not.
It has got ALOT better for us , j was diagnosed just after his second birthday and that was a year and half ago now!! At the time we couldnt take him anywhere, shops , parks , partys ,visiting people i couldnt even do the school run to pick up my other kids with him it was all just too much for him. Take it slowly and set smaller goals if we managed 5 mins in a shop to pay for one item without incident it was such a big thing !! One thing i will say even now we can manage all of these things but i go nowhere without a bag of distracters for him , my emergency back up i call it Do you use any kind of visuals with the girls , pecs have helped us alot!! Especially first and then board for outings.
it get worse as you get older explsy when going through pubiy it was a nightmare for me . Have you determined why they react this way? Are they seeing an occupational therapist for sensory integration therapy? The "Out-of-Sync Child" is a good book to refer to. When my twins for young, I never went shopping for very long. They liked their double stroller, so I took them to the store in it - even at two years old. I would give them a snack or some toy to district them. I would also promise them some type of reward for afterwards. One weird thing that I did not realize for a long time was this: whenever we would go to a big store such as Wal-Mart(which I don't like going to either!), my daughter would eventually become upset. I always thought she did not like the sounds. What I finally realized was that my son would make this shrilly shriek sound in reponse to hearing other babies crying. So, my daughter was getting upset at HIS sounds (not the babies)! I figured this out one day when I took just dd alone to the store. She was fine! Having twins with autism is complicated. One can affect the other. You might want to just take one twin at the store and see what happens. BTW, yes it did get better for us. My kids LOVE going places. However, my ds still does not like going shopping, which I know is due to sensory issues. He goes anyway and deals with it if he has to. Good luck. ______________________ mom to 9 year old boy/girl twins (Asperger's/PDD-NOS) My twins had a lot of anxiety at that age. They went to Gymboree when they were around 11/2 but I even had to stop that after a while. Costco resulted in absolute panic. Don't worry it does get better. I don't know if this is an option for you, but once I knew they could not handle being out ,I took them one at a time and it really helped. If you have anyone who can help you watch one, I would try it. That way I could work on whatever issue was stressing each child out. Some things take longer than others. Sit down restaurants were definitely out until about 5/6 for my ASD dd. Grocery stores also waited but more kid friendly places like parks were ok. Let them do a lot of leading and you can observe what they are reacting to. It will probably be different for each child. Thanks everyone for your experiences! It really helps to hear of others who have gotten through it. We are trying to find the right sensory diet for both girls with an OT from ECI and we're getting there. And I am able sometimes to take one girl out alone which has sometimes been more successful. foxl & autti34: you both have unique perspectives on this and thanks for sharing with me. Was there anything your parents did or could have done that would have helped? You know, I go back and forth on the medication question. But when I grew up, what was there ... valium? My ped actually had me on PHENOBARB. Not a good medication for anxiety, at all. Prior to reading Temple Grandin's description, I blamed a lot on my my Mom's personality (and medication ... speed, caffeine and tobacco I think from my experiences with dd that as much explicit cognitive support you can provide, structure in the form of explaining WHERE you are going, WHAT you expect of children, HOW LONG you will be there ... along with careful observation of their reactions and responses, so you can interpret WHAT is going on as needed ... as well as taking their concerns and anxiety seriously, would be really helpful. T always seems to benefit from this and appreicate it. Adam has or has had almost deplitating anxiety. We have medicated him since he was 6 years old. However, he has also been seeing a psychologist since that time also and a O.T. that helped a lot with the sensory stuff. Between the medication, and the therapy, he is so much improved we can almost go anywhere, but our goal was for him to express when he was becoming anxious and we would leave then before he had a panic attack. He still has them, but not as often. IMHO, don't force them into situations that panic them. Take it slow and be prepared to leave. We still take two cars almost everywhere we go. [QUOTE=twinsohmy]i dont no i think if they had no more about autism back then like now not my parent just in gernal i would have been in diff school situion an stuff sn that may have made my angity less kids today with autism are lucky cuse there more help an stuff .but also pancik attcks run in my family so for me it just worse then it would be normaly with the autism Thanks everyone for your experiences! It really helps to hear of others who have gotten through it. We are trying to find the right sensory diet for both girls with an OT from ECI and we're getting there. And I am able sometimes to take one girl out alone which has sometimes been more successful. foxl & autti34: you both have unique perspectives on this and thanks for sharing with me. Was there anything your parents did or could have done that would have helped? [/QUOTE] |
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), but since my anxiety persisted so long, and reading Thinking in Pictures, now I think maybe not.