Meltdowns?

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	Hi everybody. Our son Graham has some meltdowns this last week. On Thursday, he had one before school about his classroom's valentine party not being on that day. He kept recitiating the days of the week and asking about the party. Next day was the party ,some boys and girls received a bear with a balloon or candy and he didn't. He almost started crying if I didn't distract him with his valentine cards. Other meltdowns involving around around watching tv or not allowed to wear certain clothing or take certain things into church. (sigh) How can I teach himself control ?  Graham's Mom -Graham 6 pdd-nos & Austin 3 nt What you are observing is an issue that is CENTRAL to autism.  It is not going to go away, but you are right in that you need to help him learn the tools he needs to not melt down all the time. He is YOUNG, and this will probably take years. I would strongly recommend getting parent training from a BCBA.  You can use the search function here to find tons of posts on "discipline" "FBA" "BIP"  and "transitions" All of the techniques that really work involve YOU (and all the adults in his life) preempting issues. This takes observation, experience and proactive techniques. tzoya39859.7277083333Well I think I would have cried too...why did not everyone get the balloon?  If there are things that seem to consistently be causing a problem (not wearing certain clothes to church, parties happening on certain days, etc.) - perhaps you could create some simple visuals / social stories for him. Maybe a little chart that says: Things I can wear TO church: (with pictures of clothing he can choose from) and Things I can wear AFTER church: (with pictures of the things he wants to wear to church but is not allowed to) Sometimes just a visual to help understand the situation will solve it. Just like with the party thing - making a simple week-long calendar: Monday Tuesday Wednesday Thursday Friday - VALENTINES PARTY That way, when he's screaming about the Valentines Party, you can say, is today Friday? Is the party today? Let's look at the calendar, and you're not the one to blame, the calendar is These are all great ideas. You could also make a chart with favorite tv shows. At this time we watch xx, then we do something else. Let him put it together with you, with your guidance of course. The same thing with church. If the item he wants to take in is say, too noisy, let him chose something else. You can't always plan for everything but doing as much as you can in advance can help head off meltdowns. For us, meltdowns became fewer and fewer when I figured out what my son's sensory issues were.  Then I could protect him, teach him to be aware of them, and predict he was at risk for a meltdown.  Sensory checklist here: http://www.sensory-processing-disorder.com/sensory-processin g-disorder-checklist.html Another thing that helped me was to think about the straw that broke the camel's back.  The less stress my kids face throughout their day, the better they'll be able to tackle any "straws" that are added to their load. But kids with autism will have their own expectations about a situation, and it's not easy to know what's in their head and prepare them realistically for a situation.  I don't know if you can teach him to control himself -- emotional regulation is an "executive function" of the brain.  But you can teach him strategies to recognize and deal with escalation to meltdown. Here's my collection of meltdown resources: http://www.autism-pdd.net/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=17134&am p;KW=meltdown+resources Good luck with everything.
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