emotional and need to ventSo many things on my mind...whats new?....but specifically today my 6yr old DS (PDD/NOS) just had a rough day. This morning it took me 5 mins to get him out of the car to go to school and then another 5 to get him to walk in the classroom door because he said "I hate school." It breaks my heart because what kinder hates kindergarten? Kindergarten is fun...for most kids...i guess not for my lil guy. I ask him what he hates and he just says he hates it. I ask him different things.."is it your teacher?..is it your friends?.."He just says "i hate school and i want to be home with you." Then he says "im nervous ill get into trouble...i get in trouble" This isnt the first time he's told me he hates kinder but ne's never elaborated exactly why. Then after i walk him into class, i leave...i walk all the way off campus thru the base gate to get back on base and as i get to my car i hear a familiar your voice crying screaming "MOOOOOMMMMM!!!!" I couldnt believe he took off and ran all the way on base...what if i wouldve driven off already??? i cant imagine what histarical state of mind he would be in if the gate guard had to grab him and bring him back to school.....anyway, he runs up to me screaming and crying with a look in his eyes like he just had a true blue panic attack and says "mom im nervous! Im nervous! Mom im nervous!" He wouldnt tell me why he was nervous except he said he gets into trouble. His teacher finally came running out all nervous herself trying to lecture him on the whole situation but he just kept repeating that he was nervous. I felt so bad for him. I dont know what it is about school that is making him uncomfortable. His teacher says that he doesnt get into trouble alot but he does have his off weeks. I guess my son feels like he gets into trouble or just isnt comfortable cause he cant be himself??? He's a sensory seeker and so at home he has total access to seek deep pressure or get whatever sensory therapy he needs whenever he wants, his bedroom is an entire therapy room. He gets what he needs at home. At school he keeps as much of it in and when he gets home he goes nuts and its overwhelming to me but i cant blame him. Ive talked to him about getting up and jumping if he needs to or going into the closet at school if he needs a moment, telling him he can keep his hood on at school if he needs to...but he says hes not allowed to and that hes nervous. Ive talked to the teacher and they look at me like im crazy, they have no clue why i advocate for him and say things like sure, he can jump, he can go in closet, he can keep hood on...but i wish they knew when to encourage him also to jump or go to closet or reassure him he doesnt have to take his jacket off. His teacher has never had an ASD child in her class has no clue about sensory integration disorder. Its so frustrating.....when i picked him up she said he was fina all day, no problems, dont understand why he ran off like that. Then i take him to OT,Psych,and Speech and when i come back to pick him up they said he never made it to PSYCH or Speech because he had a HUGE meltdown, theyve never seen him this upset in the last two years we've been there and they ended up having to roll him up in a blanket and roll him around or rock him. he was fine after he got it all out and was able to burrow. I hope tomorrow is a better day for him. I also met a woman today who i was talking to about how i should go about getting my son a case manager cause i really need some help at home with behaviors. I just want to cry sometimes i get so overwhelmed. He pees all over the house..hes worse than a puppy, no matter how much i clean it never fails that he turns around the next day and does it again....multiple times..getting ready for school is a nightmare sometimes, going out to dinner, and even a trip to walmart or target or wherever is so stressful. He's been running off in the store and we cant find him for like 7-8 minutes...it gives me a heart attack. Anyway she asks me what school my son goes to and i tell her which one and that its mainstream and she gives me the most judging look and says"oh......he's that high functioning that hes mainstream?" like i wasnt deserving...like i didnt need a behavior therapist working with our family....like what do you have to cpmplain about becaus emy kid is very social...then she says "My son isnt high functioning enough to go to mainstream" like be happy your kid can go to a regular school, it must not be that bad. My son may not struggle with being verbal but he def struggles in other areas that her son may not..ugh..its annoying! Im constantly feeling offended by people who continually feel the need to either question wether my son is truly on the spectrum or always telling me "you cant tell he's special needs"......are you freaking kidding me?!!!!!Theres no doubt hes on the spectrum and if you walked a day in my shoes you wouldnt question it for a sec. I feel like thats a nice way of telling me im dramatic about my child, that i just baby him, or ive heard " i dont believe in the high functioning..you're either autistic or you're not." Well, i use to think my kid wasADD, ODD and possibly OCD because i didnt know much about sensory disorder or high functioning side of ASD. Ive been told "a kid sneezes now a days and hes diagnosed something." I get so offended by these comments and judgements. Every day is an uphill battle for my whole family. Mentally im a mess, im constantly doubting my parenting skills with my DS and my twin boys who are older and put up with so much from their lil brother. I use to tell myself it would get easier and dont get me wrong it has in some areas but then somethings have gotten worse. His eating habits are becoming more picky monthly, i cry when im cleaning up pee on th ecarpet or furniture from my 6 yr old who knows how to use a toliet..he still wears a pull up at night but during the day he doesnt go around pissing in his classroom....he will not put on his own shoes and socks...WILL NOT,...ive tried EVERYTHING...pick your battles i guess. we cant have nice walls with posters up in his room or brothers room or wall stickers cause he puts holes in the wall (we have a hole in every wall of every room in the house) and he rips all th estuff off the walls and he rips curtains down and blinds look like a shark attacked them.....i cant help but think about what the future holds. I thank God i have such a solid marriage...i know the divorce chances go up when theres special needs children involved. Sorry this is so long, i just needed to get it out. Im the type who holds it in, cries alone, makes it not sound as bad as it is when im telling my husband what our day was like. Do i really want to rehash about my 45 minute fight in a parking lot where i was being bitten scratched, head butted , spit on, peed on, hair pulled, glasses slapped off my face...while people just stared at me as im trying to calm my child down. The older he gets the stronger he gets. He yelled "stranger stranger help me!" at one point......ya, did i mention how smart he is..haha,,,he's been a problem solver since the sec he came out of my stomach. he cracks me up alot thats for sure....dont get me wrong, i know im complaining about alot of things but We do have good days, he is getting alot better at listening to us and following the rules. i think i feel better now that ive gone off, thank you to anyone with opinions advice or just listening.... hopefully i can get my son to fall asleep befor 11 tonight......keeping my fingers crossed..haha Sher I know exactly how you feel. Every morning when I take my son to school, if he sees a bus, we have to stand outside until all four buses unload! This is sometimes almost 30 minutes, and we're in upstate NY where it's maybe 10 degrees out. If I am able to get him into school, he refuses to go to class until he's held the door for every person that is coming or going! I've broken down in tears at school before dropping him off over this stuff. He'll have a couple of weeks where he doesn't have one problem. But since Christmas break for example, we've had two days where he didn't have trouble.Luckily he is at a school that runs the classroom off of the ABA therapy principles and he's in an 8-1-1 setting, (might want to check into that for your son if he would qualify). I got so upset once that I drove all the way home, turned around and went back to his principal and just cried. She said something very important though. She said that a lot of parents when they have a child with a diagnosis look at their child as PDD-NOS or Autistic, but they're not. They're still just kids, and they have a disability second. I'm very firm with my son and try to treat him as much like an average four year old as possible. I expect a lot from him, which leads to a lot of disappointment on my part sometimes, but I stick with it. It seems sometimes like no one else knows what you're going through, and like you, I thank God I have such a strong relationship with my husband. Without him, I couldn't deal! If it were me, I would do my best to get him in a class that is use to dealing with ASD, because I think a lot of people that aren't somewhat wash their hands of it. It's just easier for them to ignore it and send them home than to deal with it. Most days are a battle for me too. They start out great or end great, but it's all of the in between that's tough. One thing I do differently is I more or less schedule his sensory treatments at home, the closest being every 2 to 3 hours, but usually only once or twice a day. He gets sensory treatments at school on occasion, but it makes him a little less use to needing that to deal with his tantrums. We usually only do them when he's nearly uncontrollable. Every kids different though! You sound so much like me it's scary. First, lots of hugs. Some people think it's a compliment to say that you're child "seems so normal" or you "can't tell he's special needs" etc. I know they mean well, so I usually just don't say anything even though it makes me fume. It sounds like the other mom was jealous, I sometimes get that way when I hear some things that other ASD'ers do that Sam can't. BUT I'd never make a snarky comment like that. That was really uncalled for. Many of our children hold it together for school and unleash when they get home- or the other way around. I know that he's mainstream, but do you think that he may need some kind of help to get through the day? Maybe keeping it together that long is taking it's toll and that's why he's not wanting to go to school and melting down. You can also get OT and speech through the school with an IEP. I think behavior therapy does sound like a good idea. I am looking into it for my tasmanian devil. Oh big hugs--I so know how you feel. It will get better. My personal recommendation is to try to get all your ds' caregivers together so you can all collectively brainstorm. I think the biggest thing I hated about my ds' therapies were all the suggestions from all the therapists. Bless their hearts, they meant well. But I felt I needed to implement all the suggestions on the spot. Compliment your son on expressing his feelings and ask his input on how you can help to make things better...I hope this suggestion helps. Wow I know how u feel! My son sounds sooo similar to urs even using the bathroom all around the house (except my son pooped everywhere I also think it was wrong of that lady to act/say that about her son being lower functioning. She may have felt the same way you feel towards other people but still, you were desperate for help and reached out to her she should not have made you feel that way at all. She should have been more understanding, you get enough judgement from people like the lady next to you at the checkout line whos says insensitive remarks to you because your child is going into full meltdown mode and hitting himself in the head with his fists and screaming high enough to shatter glass. Id expect more from esp her in her job position! I hope u can get accomodations and an IEP for ur son it sounds like he really needs it. (((hugs))) and good luck! I would also recommend asking for in home training or ABA through the school district; we have an in home trainer that comes once a week and we address behavioral issues that occur at home and she address them with myself and Lucas. She helps me form a plan of action to help cope with these behaviors. My son is 4 and he can talk (a lot of echolalia- repeating) but very minimal verbal communication. Never says I am hungry, mad, sad, feel bad; etc.- but he can spell Abercrombie All I can suggest is to try and take him to the bathroom on a regular basis like you did when potty training him- if he continues to pee in the house, make him wear a pull up and explain to him why. I talk to my son like he understands me- I THINK he does, he just can't respond- but I know he understands and your son most likely does too. I hope some of this helps- I would push for an ARD meeting and an IEP to be created if not already so that you can get some help in getting these special needs addressed (((((((((((( hugs )))))))))))))))) You know, it's really crappy that another mom of an asd child would have such an attitude. 'Oh, I have it worse than you do b/c my child can't do ___.' Seriously woman, it's not a pissing contest. I agree that a lot of people somehow think that saying 'oh, you can't tell' is like telling you that hey, it's ok, things aren't that bad. What it feels like to me is they are implying that I would label my child as 'special needs' without just cause. I swear, people are stupid. That's just all there is to it.  ((((((sending anti stupid people vibes your way))))))) i love you all!!! haha thanks for reminding me that people do truly understand and that im not alone and thanks for making me laugh and cry at the same time.  
Time for school, so I'm sure I'll need to vent soon too! Hopefully we can beat the buses there today and it will take less than a half an hour! Others don't understand, but thank goodness there are a lot who do!  [QUOTE=daisytex]You know, it's really crappy that another mom of an asd child would have such an attitude. 'Oh, I have it worse than you do b/c my child can't do ___.' Seriously woman, it's not a pissing contest. I agree that a lot of people somehow think that saying 'oh, you can't tell' is like telling you that hey, it's ok, things aren't that bad. What it feels like to me is they are implying that I would label my child as 'special needs' without just cause. I swear, people are stupid. That's just all there is to it. ((((((sending anti stupid people vibes your way))))))) [/QUOTE] I just wanted to give the prospective of the other parent before the comments get out of hand. My ds is 8 yrs old and low functioning. He is non-verbal, can barely draw a straight line and is not potty trained. It's not about you're so lucky look how much harder I have it. What I feel is if only my ds was high functioning then I could have some hope. If only my ds was mainstreamed, then I wouldn't have to drive 35 mins to his special school, locked away from all the normal kids. If only my 8 yr old did not scare all the kids in the neighborhood, and not scare all the kids every time we go to the drs office. If only my ds could tell me what's wrong when he's crying for hours on end. If only my ds was able to learn to read and write. Then I may have some hope. I know a parent of a 12 yr old that is low functioning, and she has no problem with his behavior, he's very complacent and never aggressive. It really shouldn't be about functioning level, as you're day to day issues with your ds's behavior are exhausting. My ds also behaves really well at school and holds it all in until he gets home. It is exhausting, no matter the functioning level. I think getting a behavorist to come out to your home is a great idea. Our school district provides a behavorist. We also saw one thru the local developmental disabilities council. My other thought was have you considered a mood stabilizer? If your ds isn't on anything it may be worth considering something like abilify or risperdal. Good luck, I hope you find some help to calm your ds down soon. It's not th When he says he is nervous it makes me wonder if it is anxiety rearing it's ugly head. Hang In There. As expected, another rough morning at school. Almost 30 minutes to get Lee to his room because he wanted to stand outside and watch buses come in. No biggie, just gets old when it's 15 degrees outside! I had to go to Wally world after dropping him off and took my two-year old with me. We walked around for over an hour, and it really made me think about the fact that I can't do that with Lee as easily, and it sucks! I love taking my kids out, but everywhere we go, if Lee hears a scanner at the register, he beeps, LOUD!!! He stares off, throws fits on occasion, and people just stare. Once at his gymnastics class he was getting anxious and flailing around, and another mom actually looked at me and said "what's wrong with him? Does he need to pee or something?" I just smiled and said no, he's just excited, came home and cried. I hate my child being judged, and that's what I feel is constantly done to him. I think someone said in an earlier post that sometimes you want to put a sign on them so everyone knows what's wrong and will stop judging. Before I found out that Lee had ASD, I was one of those moms that would be in a public place and if I saw a child having a tantrum would just assume that the parents didn't discipline them and they needed their behinds smacked. Lee never had tantrums until he was 3, so that I wasn't use to. Lee has definitely taught me to not judge so quickly and be more understanding, I just wish others were the same, but they are the same way I was probably. It just feels like every step forward, we go back two. I know it will get better, but why does it have to be so hard? I'm sure it's way harder for Lee than me. I just can't wait for the day I pick him up at school and he will tell me about his day! Sorry, guess I needed to vent today! It's okay. We've all been there. I have two DSs with ASD. My suggestion to you is get ABA at home service from your school district. List out all his behavior problems, and how it affects your family and you child's daily life, emotions and well being. It will not make him trouble free, but it will make his behavior under control. You also may need a ABA therapist train you how to deal with his behavior. That can be part of your at home ABA service. Initially, even with all the support you and him have, still you have go through a tough adjustment period. But, turst me, things will get better if he gets ABA services. And learn as much ABA as you can. It changes my prospective of my life: how I can help my children, and being hopeful. (((hugs))) i know exactly how u feel, my son is autistic and he is in a mainstream school, and class. i live in a small town that dosen't have a specail class for asd students so my son has an aide, if u can maybe that would b benificial 4 ur son. i know pat gets extremely newvous and his aide keeps him focussed and calm..most of time.lol..lots of hugs and i like what prev poster said bout son's disability 2nd to being a kid. smile...this to shall pass...Also sending you hugs and best wishes. I can't begin to tell you how many times I've simply broken down and cried at home and at school, grocery store, you name it. Life can be so difficult! My ds has improved much over the years in many ways, but, as you said, some things some times get worse. Just a note of cheer: the "better" has outwieghed and outnumbered the "worse", so at least there's light at the end of the tunnel? I have said (God forgive me) sometimes I wish you could tell from looking that my ds is not NT, because maybe then people would quit staring and offering parenting advise! OMG how sick I got of that from parents with no special needs kids!!!! I actually ran into a supervisor where I worked at the time while I was in the grocery store with my ds. His wife was with him, and my ds was in the middle of a meltdown. He had sensory issues with lights and noises. Next day at work, he told me his wife is a kindergarden teacher and that she said I should have yanked him up and busted his behind!!!! JEEZ!! I replied that I thank God she doesn't teach at the school my son would be attending, and that IMO she shouldn't teach anywhere if she's that ignorant! I no longer work there ...LOL>>>WAAH. I've been on both ends of the remarks from Mom's w/asd kids. Some lower functioning, some higher functioning. It seems sometimes the ones with higher functioning kids almost make it seem like you're doing something wrong because their kid has progressed so much farther than yours. Conversely, I have run into the attitude with Moms of lower functioning kids, when I ask a question or vent in any way "pouncing" on me because at least my kid can do ____. As a matter of fact, the very first post I wrote here felt that way, when I was seeking comfort, understanding, and suggestions! Ouch!!! I cried and cried. I almost decided never to write again, because I didn't want to be hurt, intentionally or otherwise. Sometimes I'm overly sensitive, I know. Luckily, my 18 yr. old NT encouraged me to keep trying. He has seen over the past 13 years how lonely life has been in this struggle. Ok, I'm ready to cry again (having a really down several days). I can't begin to offer suggestions, just sympathy. I know that isn't as good, but right now, it's all I've got Smith, I certainly meant no offense to anyone with a more severely affected child. My intention was to illustrate that moms of asd kids should not compare who's kid can and can't do what, and who is more or less deserving of help, regardless of functioning level. That basically, asd parents should stick together, not judge each other. My son does alot of the "I hate school" statements and as soon as he says it, I know I am going to have a hard morning because everything is going to be a fight. A para for the school comes out to my car to get him and last year he was able to walk into school by himself (that was elementary and now it is junior high so that really isn't possible because this school is so much bigger) but I started telling the para to wait a little ways from my car so I could have him walk to her and that really seems to help because as weird as it sounds he walks to her fine without any complaint but if I walk him in it is constant behavior. I sometimes think that because my son knows he can get away with certain behavior it will intensify if I am there. This is just my situation. Honestly, my son is pretty high functioning (it sounds so weird saying it though..lol) and can just wear me out with the constant chatter about the same thing over and over and over again or the whining and fighting. As far as the other parent goes, I agree with smith22 and I'm sure the other parent feels the same way as you do sometimes (if only you could walk in my shoes), I know I feel that way alot. You are doing your best (((Hugs))). Hopefully working with the school will help with at least the morning routine. 42together, (((Hugs))). I know exactly what you are talking about how sometimes I wish people could see that my son is not NT. I have also been down for the last several days and it is a lonely existence. PM me if you ever need to talk. I think that all of us have shared a whole host of emotions that have come out in this thread. Fear that our kids won't reach their potential, whatever that is. Fear that they will not be able to live independently, and that after we are gone nobody else will love them unconditionally and without judgment. Frustration turning to jealousy when we see other kids learn something so easily. Secret pride that our kids can do something that another kid doesn't, and guilt that we are feeling good about our kid at another kid's expense. Anger that fate, luck, whatever you want to call it made it so much harder for our kids to make and keep friends, to fend for themselves, to learn. Above all, the impossibility of knowing what the future holds. Am I in denail and clinging to completely unrealistic expectations? Am I trying to be "realistic" but actually selling my kid short? For now, all these negative feelings melt away when I hold her and the joy of having such an incredible kid washes over me. TNFLWRMy son is the same way with the trains! We took our kids to Lake Placid this summer to go on a train ride, and since June, he's obsessed with Thomas!! Very cure at first, but now that we're up to NINE train sets, it's getting crazy!! I actually had to start scheduling Thomas time during the day so that he'll actually do other activities!! He's even memorized how to get to Target from our house (nearly 20 miles) because that's where he likes to go look at train tracks! It has worked out a little to our advantage. We take him to see trains on weekends if he had a good week at school! I'm not sure if your son is the same as mine as far as having trouble understanding emotions and what not. If so, you can go to the Thomas the Train website and they have any emotions game that the kids can play to help recognize the different engines faces! It's great! Also helps my son with computer skills as well. There are also a lot of coloring sheets you can print out! I'm sure if he loves Thomas that much, you've already found it, but just in case. Every child is different, but it's wonderful to see others going through at least similar things! Best of luck and keep on "chugging"! I really needed to see this thread right now to know that I'm not alone. A unique reality about all of this is that "the spectrum" is so huge that it seems that there are never two cases exactly alike. It causes much isolation, like we're all an individual piece to the evergrowing autism puzzle. My dear son is HFA/PDD/Aspie... whatever. I just know that everyday has challenges that he and I must face - alone. We have those same issues in the morning, and I know it's because of his difficulty making friends. With my son, who is three, every other word out of his mouth is or has to do with trains. It seemed so sweet in the beginning, but it's gotten to the point where it's limited all other activities and interests. All day long he's murmuring about steam locomotives, tracks, conductors, Thomas, diesel engines, passengers, reciting Polar Express at the top of his lungs, chooooooooo-chooooooooooooo. He tries to steer every thing back to trains somehow. It's maddening!!! It sounds like something out of a movie and people find it so amusing and cute when we go to the store, park, etc.... But day in day out of not getting through is just exhausting and sometimes I feel like I'm stuck in an asylum. Sorry, but I had to get that one off my chest. It's true what pp said about feeling so vulnerable. As a single mom with minimal family support it often feels like me and him against the world. I don't even have the energy left to continue educating and trying to convince everyone in my path that my son's a little different. God bless the good intention, but it's really arrogant of someone to observe your child for a couple of hours (or less!) then say "he seems okay to me... maybe you're just not..." GTH!!! LOL!!! People don't see the little things you do everyday and the countless routines you play out to try and keep order and avoid the dreaded tantrums. I certainly could use some more help, but I think I mainly maintain by carving out some me time, sometimes at the sacrifice of other relationships, activities, etc... Anyway, thank you all for just being you, the brave, loving and patient people that you are. Special kids have special parents. God tells me so. This has been so helpful. I thought my dd was just being disobedient and uncontrolable. She was peeing in her closet. The when I closed that off, she would pee in a toy bucket and dump it in the closet. I removed all things from her room she could sit on to do that and still she would just sit down behind the bed or chair and go. She's not doing that anymore and I'm not sure what it is that started or stopped it. I do check on her more often when she goes up stairs to play, especially if she is too quiet. She had a melt down in a store this last week end I took her in the bathroom and sat in a stall holding her. She removed her shoes and kept screaming that I was hurting her, holding her too tight, etc. I was so aftraid ladies in there would go get security! I just kept talking softly to her and after about 30 minutes she did calm down but it was pretty scary. In church yesterday I got scratched, pinched, hit and kicked, all because she couldn't sit where she wanted to. We already had a plan in place where she had agreed before hand where she was going to sit and was OK with that but she wanted to change her mind, and I wasn't going to let her and it wouldn't have worked out anyway to change. So she melted down. I just took her to her dad, who was cleaning up the coffee pots in the kitchen and told him to deal with her! I get tired of this, I'm an older mom. I hate the things that run through my mind and can't even voice them to anyone. I'm afraid to say the things I think and it more than scares me! This week end I could have packed my suitcase and just walked out without looking back. Do I need help? YES! But where do moms go for help? She has a good day, she has now been on Focalin (5mg she can't swallow pills so I take the capsule apart in the AM and give her 1/2 in the morning and 1/2 at lunch) she goes to PreK in the afternoon. It wears off about the time dad walks in the door around 5:00. I generally am ready to hand her over to him by then! And I get in trouble for her behavior then! "What in the world is going on around here? every day I get home all H_ _ _ is breaking loose?" Well you know what? IT's not my fault!! It is time to talk to the doctor!! ( I'm not sure about me or dd??) [QUOTE=Shy'sMom]I get tired of this, I'm an older mom. I hate the things that run through my mind and can't even voice them to anyone. I'm afraid to say the things I think and it more than scares me! This week end I could have packed my suitcase and just walked out without looking back. Do I need help? YES! But where do moms go for help? She has a good day, she has now been on Focalin (5mg she can't swallow pills so I take the capsule apart in the AM and give her 1/2 in the morning and 1/2 at lunch) she goes to PreK in the afternoon. It wears off about the time dad walks in the door around 5:00. I generally am ready to hand her over to him by then! And I get in trouble for her behavior then! "What in the world is going on around here? every day I get home all H_ _ _ is breaking loose?" Well you know what? IT's not my fault!! It is time to talk to the doctor!! ( I'm not sure about me or dd??) [/QUOTE] I'm so sorry for all the trouble you're having right now! ((((HUGS)))) This is an incredibly difficult journey by nature, and I certainly couldn't blame you for questioning "what if..." I admire you for adopting, and for having such a huge heart. The other feelings are certainly natural. I just want to try to encourage you to hang in there. Things can get much, much better, and when they do, it's the most amazing feeling in the world. It's a shame your dh gives you a hard time instead of supporting/comforting you and pulling together on this. You have your hands full already! How aware is he of ASD and which symptoms are related? I know it helped my dh be a lot more understanding once he realized it wasn't lack of parenting on my part and that ds wasn't just "throwing tantrums", but actually couldn't help it and needed more help than our NT kids. It took a while to get it to sink in, though. I had to keep relating to him how every little behavior related! Have you looked into respite care? I had it for awhile, and it really helped me just to have that time to gather myself again. An autism support group might be helpful for you as well. Sometimes just to be able to talk to others going through similar things, and also, a surprising amount of insight to be gained, different coping/training strategies, etc. IDK, just a thought. If you feel you need help, there's no shame in seeking a good counselor, whether through church, or outside counseling, etc., The stress involved is incredible and can feel overwhelming! I'll be keeping you in my prayers! PM me if you ever need to talk. Betty
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). Thankfully hes recently fully potty trained and only uses the toilet! We are dealing with issues in school as well. We recently put him on prozac and its been a miracle! We are also fighting to get an IEP with our school district and they are making everything hard! Very frustrating. He has a 504 plan with accomodations and sensory breaks but its not enough (and not being followed may i add). My sons daily behavioral log always says that he did great as soon as i left yet I have to daily drag him into school and after school is horrendous and we cant get anything done! 
- so his communication level is still very very low. Despite this, I still discipline him for any poor behaviors- slapping, hitting, throwing a fit to get his way, etc. I do alter how I discipline him- for him I make him say the correct words like "I want to swing" instead of hitting me and dragging me to the door; I take away his favorite item to play with- letters- and put him in his room with the door shut versus grounding him or time out as these things don't work with him yet; I try and avoid situations that I know will cause meltdowns to prevent a lot of the poor behaviors from occurring; etc.
Yes, it was our choice to adopt her, we didn't know all the problems she had when we adopted her, or maybe our eyes weren't open and our hearts were too big, we didn't want to see all the problems we were adopting, also. The one thing we didn't know was that she was on the ASD scale until after the adoption was final for a couple months. The question I keep asking is if we had known would we had still adopted her? Had I known how difficult it was going to be, how heart breaking and terrifying it is? I can't answer that.