2 year old and confused mommonths. Both times the diagnosis was moderate autism. I never agreed with the moderate part, though. I feel that he is mild or maybe even pdd-nos. We were also told that because of his low scores, he may one day have a MR diagnosis as well. At the time, nothing was "clicking" with him, though some things do now. Anyway, he is speech delayed, but has a few words....many repeated only but a few spontaneous ones as well. He also has some signs, but he confuses them sometimes or won't use them until we say the word. He will "answer" questions like, "Where's mama." He will then look at me. Do you want ___. He will walk to the area where the wanted object is if he wants it. He does have repetitive actions like opening and closing doors, getting "stuck" on certain toys (the ones he will play with), etc. His eye contact is existent if he is in the mood and comfortable with the person. He can be downright social if he gets to know someone. I find him more and more social with us (his mom and dad) and adults lately, but he still has only a little to do with his older brother and seems to mostly ignore other kids. So what is the problem? I have a hard time answering when other people say that he couldn't possibly be autistic. I know I shouldn't worry about what others think, but it is CONSTANT to the point that I'm starting to wonder if I am making it all up. Has anyone else had this problem? I keep thinking that surely I can't be the only person who has encountered that. Then I feel stupid worrying about such insignificant things when we have bigger fish to fry! Thanks for any input. Christy mom to a 2 1/2 year old with autism Hello, and welcome. Im angie I have 4 children and 2 are on the spectrum. I want to point out the Sociall behaviors that you discribe about your son and Adults. Both of my children are better with adults than other children. My DD is high functioning PDD/nos and is working on learning to engage in play and conversation with other childrens but has no problems with adults. My son warms up to adults alot easier than children actually if they arent his sisters he cries the whole time other kids are here. He is very affectonate at times.. Others hes not its just what mood he is in at the time. Also Autistic kids can develope to be mostly normal. You would never know my dd was ASD unless i told you. They can see it more at school than I do at home... She has come a VERY VERY long way to get where she is today and its been a very hard last 4-5yrs. Christy- Denial still hits me at times. My dd is 6yrs with PDD/NOS and ADHD. I dont see the ASD there like I do my son and it bothers me at times. Our family was in denial when we told them we were getting our dd tested, everyone said shes ok and will talk in no time. I knew in my heart they were wrong, but not many people know what ASD is. My son we all seen it.. My family seen the regression. In a way i think its easier to accept as parents than it is for others. Noone wants to feel and know something is wrong with their child. Accepting it is the hardest part. It is very nice to know you are not alone. I found this board really helps me when I feel alone or I need to vent. Its also great to share the good things. I am here daily and I love to read others post. It makes me feel like I am not the only one. I am looking forward to getting to know you more. BTW my son has classic autism with regression. he will be 3 in march. I have expierenced the same thing, people saying, sometimes insisting(family even) that my son is not autistic, and it is frustrating as hell. I've had three seperate diagnosis, all different clinics and doctors, and I've tried explaining this to certain family members, and they still refuse to believe me. My own father tells people that I made it all up for attention. My son is 5, he started kindergarten this past fall, and at least there no one questions me, it's so obvious when he is at school that he is autistic, but when we go out places there are always ignorant people it seems. When he was first diagnosed, I partially believed other people when they said those things, hence the extra testing and opinions, now I've learned to ignore all the negative people around me, they were just stressing me out and wasting my time and energy. I wish I had something to say to make you feel better, but I can tell you your not the only one this has happened to... Hi Christy, At 2 1/2, it is much harder for outsiders to see the autism, but as the child ages it becomes more obvious. When my son wasn't talking at age 2 1/2, it didn't seem like a big deal. But now at 4 1/2, it's a very big deal, although he talks more now. I had many periods where I would begin to think he was just normal, after all, but then Wham! we'd have a bad day with meltdowns, nonstop aggression, ignoring other kids, going outside and him just standing by the car the whole time, getting hysterical about having to get in the bathtub, etc, etc. It really messes with your head. It's depressing! Maybe you're right about him being mild or PDD-NOS. My son is PDD-NOS and considered mild, but it is still a severe disability. But don't be discouraged. The fact that people are constantly telling you he's not autistic is good. I think you have a lot to be hopeful for. I just thought I have something to share here, my daughter was diagnosed with autism at 20 months old ever since she was 16 months old I had serious doubts about her and at 12 months some serious questions. Anyways, I spoke to her pedi SEVERAL times about the fact that she is not gesturing nor pointing (big signs) didn't have any pretend play skills among other things..anyways my parents and my pedi looked at me as if I was a complete nut case, my MIL told me that there couldn't possibly be anything wrong because of her excellent eye contact and social skills (she has good social intent but horrible execution - she might want to play with another kid but to get his or her attention she might hit them for example) but in my heart I knew something wasn't right..she wouldn't imitate anything and all she had at 20 months was babbling with NO functional language and her receptive language was maybe 3-4 words (I am being optimistic on that assumption even). I later had her evaluated by several people including a psychologist and she suggested that she is not adequately being cared for (not enough affection or love that sort of thing)...of course she was wrong my daughter was autistic..the thing is at this young age it is really hard to see the signs unless you are a trained professional in the field of of ASD AND THAT PROFESSIONAL SHOULD KNOW WHAT TO LOOK FOR. The criteria is hard to interpret unless you have experience with many many ASD kids. Forget about what people say if you feel that you go the right diagnosis focus on getting services for your son and ignore others (believe me I know that this is easier said than done, if I had a penny for each story that I was told about kids who didn't speak when they should have and now are just doing wonderful I would be rich by now), I know that it can be draining to have to listen to people saying that when you have a billion other things to think about and focus your energy on but try, now when somebody tries to bring up the fact that she is not autistic I just change the subject or change chatting partners!.Thank you so much for your responses. I'm glad (and sad) to hear thatI'm not the only one. At least I know that I'm not crazy. The biggest problem is that parents are the first ones who would LOVE to believe that their children do NOT have autism. So when someone doubts it, you begin that trek back toward denial. Do you know what I mean? You start wondering if you are putting so much time and effort into something that is not there. But Marilyn, you are sooooooo right. It's the bad moments that bring it all back to light. You are describing my life in that 3rd paragraph. He has "normal" moments, but I know there is always a meltdown around the corner. And Gmom, that is exactly why I have sought out a 2nd opinion....to try and figure out why some people don't see what I see. The 2nd round of testing was not paid for by our insurance, but my husband and I felt that it was necessary as it was a different set of tests, and we needed to do it for our own sanity. My heart breaks for you over what your father said. I know that must hurt greatly. I'm so sorry. Nohaadel, I too saw this very very early. As crazy as it sounds, I started noticing no eye contact and staring off into nothingness at 2 months old. Of course, I didn't say anything to my pediatrician until he was 6 months old, not sitting up or rolling over or babbling and still no eye contact. Thank God our pediatrician immediately started early intervention without batting an eye at me. I thank God for her every day. I hate that you all have heard what I've heard, but I'm glad that I'm not in this boat alone. It's a lonely place to be especially when you are around family members (those who are not around as much) who question YOUR motives. I think I will mark this thread and come back to it often so that I can reassure myself that I am doing the right thing. I know I'm not looking for something that is not there. Maybe it's just because of his age. By the way, (other than Marilyn who has a siggy) how old are your kids now, and what is their exact diagnosis? (if you don't mind saying) Again, many many thanks!!! Christy
Thank you, it does hurt, but I've made the decision to leave him out of my life, until he changes his attitude and decides to be supportive I can't have him and his negativity in my life. My son is 5, and he has autistic disorder. we can be on diff leavels if you meet me cauly tou now maynot no anything is up it show up more if you are around me enough.becuse i over come alot .i sacted out more in school an hardly spoke .my mom would say she talks at home .i aslo have a severe learing diblity so that mad it hard to.he only 2 it hard to no were he will be when older .i guss just get him whatever help he needs an see what happens .
Autti makes sense. Do not bother trying to "place him" on the spectrum -- do the therapies, wait and see ... of course more easily said than done. Assume the sky is the limit until you hit one before there. Another thing I'm glad to hear (well, not glad, but relieved that it'snormal) is that the severity of symptoms changes based on the situation, mood, etc. I kept commenting to others that he seems worse at some times and not as bad at others. Like sometimes he seems almost normal (but still repetitive and lacking verbal skills, but still happy and a little social) and other times seems almost severe (when he has fits and we don't know what is going on or what to do for him). I kept being told, "You can't be autistic part-time." Autti...you provide a unique perspective on this, so I thank you for sharing your experiences. I find it very helpful to hear from others on the spectrum as I want my son to grow up knowing that I respect who he is. Gmom...I'm sorry to hear that he doesn't support you when you need it the most. I think you've made a wise decision for you and your son. I hope that he will come around. It will be his loss for sure, and I'm sure he will see that sooner or later! (hopefully sooner!)my mom say im doing alot of things they were told i never do .it greatr to get help .but what make a child do even beter is how they are tread at home an what expected of them .my parent never let me get away with behavuior that were inaporite cuse i have autism an ld Hi there- Enjoyed PM you- welcome to the board! You want to talk about people thinking you are crazy- here is my story. I have said on here before that I have a master's degree in PsychologyCounseling and I worked with autistic children in my internship, so I knew what I was seeing by 12 months of age in my son. Almost everyone thought I was nuts- I had worked in the field too long and I was giving my son disorders I had studied I just tell them in a nutshell that he does have some social skills but he lack the ability to communicate and has poor overall socialization skills and he will have this forever, no I don't think the shots caused it, and that we love him dearly and hope for the best for his future. I try and read a lot about autism and stay abreast of what is in the media, etc.- everyone seems to know Jenny McCarthy I sometimes feel this way, too. Although Makenna had such severe sensory issues as an infant that she ended up with a G-tube b/c she could'nt drinka bottle without screaming, had no babbling, imitating, terrified of everthing, no curiosity about peole or her environment, and had a Cerbral palsy dx early on due to tone issues and severely delayed gross motor skills..... today after intervention since she was 4 months old due to her severe issues, she is doing VERY well and looks very NT most of the time. Hence, my feeling like I am crazy.... but there are still things- things I see in my 19 month old that I have never seen in her. She is not at all connected emotionally, difficulties socially, sometimes wont even talk to us, in her own world, major meltdowns, etc. I find that our family is very hot and cold. They either see it, or they don't. Those who see it are as supportive as they can be seeing as they don't live what we live. The ones who are NOT supportive and think we should just "give him time," etc. are the ones who are the most vocal!!! Hello, I just wanted you to know you definately aren't alone. My family who never comes around thinks Nathan is normal. Nathan has about 15 words and he is 3 years old. Nathan calls me his mother spongebob. Nathan learns a word then forgets or gets it confused with something else. Nathan has meltdowns, food issues, ocd tendancies, etc. The thing is my family only comes around at holidays and things like that so what really gives them a right to even say a opinion. Its just me, hubby and my 2 children. I have no one to babysit, I do nothing but work and take care of my family. I feel truley alone in the whole thing. My parents have never done anything for me, so why should I expect them to do anything for my children? They sure have opinions but dont want to help me at all. I think a lot of us can relate. Like a PP said, at 2.5, it's a lot less obvious to people, but for us, even at 3.5, it's very obvious. My son has made SOOO much progress because of his therapies in the last year, but still, his social difficulties are becoming much more obvious as he ages. He is very affectionate and social with us, with friends and family and with other adults, but he cannot interact appropriately with kids his age. And his speech really sets his apart from his peers. I went through a back and forth between "oh yes.." and "no way!" for months, I knew something was off by one year old but between the ages of 18 months and 2 years, especially, I did second guess it all. But, my gut kept bringing me back to "something isn't right here" and I am so glad I followed that and started getting him the services he needs at a young age. For what it's worth, my son's meltdown's majorly reduced between 3 and 3.5 years of age, as he got more words and ways to communicate. Other things presented, but some things died down. I think that's just the way it goes. They keep us on our toes, that's for sure! :):):) |
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. Oh I wish that had been true- everyone would say No it must be a mistake- he is too young to be diagnosed, maybe he will grow out of it, he is too cute and social to be autistic............ I heard it all when he was younger. Unfortunately he is 4 now and NO ONE says it anymore- it is obvious as soon as you see him that something is different about him- most people just don't quite know what.
and thinks she knows all there is to know about "healing" autism. Why haven't you healed your son- that is my favorite one!