JUST WONDERING HOW??

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	Let me start off by saying I do NOT have a child of my own on the spectrum.  My son Brandon is "NT" , he did have a speech delay when he was younger(18mons) I had him evaluated and because of our family history( having a stepson who is DX with autism the children share same FATHER) he got approved for speech therapy.  Going forward 2 years he is speaking and doesnot receive services now at 3 1/2 years old.  He attends regular preschool and has adjusted well.  He loves other children and even has a few friends(which is so adorable) As I mentioned in my topic title, my question is to the parents of children on the spectrum how do you or did you deal with the worries of a subsequent child being on the spectrum as well??  For me, I still worry everyday for my son.  I am always analysing him and always wondering if he too will have the same issues as his older half brother.  I see the struggles that go on with my stepson and it can at times be so heart breaking.  Seeing that struggle makes me worry on my child.  How do I NOT do this?? and relax more and just enjoy his 3 year old age.  Hes such an amazing child, being he is my only, I just wish I didnt worry so much.  Sometimes I just get exhausted from watching everything so closly.  Hoping this is making sense to someone who reads this and can maybe either have some advice or just let me know Im not alone.  Deep down inside I think he was truly just a "late talker" Brandon has always been a very passive child, he has never tantrummed EVER I can honestly say in fact he will be 4 soon and I never have to disapline him.  He doesnt bite or kick or hit or hurt anyone or anything, he just easy going.  He sleeps well.  He talks up a storm now and at time amazes me on what he knows that I didnt even think he knew.  He truly is a sweetheart.  As I'm sure any mom would say on their child.  I try very hard not to compare him to his Brother J but thats not always easy even though I dont see any similarities what so ever, but like they say no child on spectrum is ever the same.  Anyway Im babbling now..but I hope to hear someone elses thoughts on this.  Thanks!! melissa   Normally, Autism symptoms should appear before the age of 3 (the lack of speech is not one of them if it is componsated by other means of communcations specially gestual) that is what I was told by the Dr who dxd my son. Just enjoy your son. Glad to know that he is doing so well. Thanks for your reply.  I actaully never heard that most appear by age 3.  Interesting.    I do, do alot of reading and research on developmental delays mostly for helping my husband understand his child that is DX with autism and for myself.  We were very proactive with Brandon.  If it wasnt for my stepson we probally would havent even blicked an eye, but knowing what we knew we jumped right on early intervention.  Im very happy we did. besides the speech therapy and special instruction teacher we learned alot about parenting.  I guess I should just relax but that isnt easy.   I know it is so difficult to just relax and enjoy your little sweetheart. Hopefullmama is right though, Autism symptoms must appear before age 3 to be diagnosed as true Autism. I have 2 boys who are ASD, my 7 yo being moderately affected and b/c of early intervention, my 2.9 mo is only mildly affected. I dreaded it wondering if my youngest DS was autistic from before he was even born. Well, he is. We deal with and help him wih his difficulties, and we love him no matter what. None of usknows what the future will hold for our children, even out NT children. So just enjoy and take delight in your precious little one, worrying abou tthe future only takes away the joys of today  Thanks mama2five..   you are absolutely right.  noone knows the future...its just I cant help myself.  Early intervention is a great program.  I remember when I first brought this topic up with family, everyone thought I was crazy.  But in the end and afterwards those thoughts changed.  My husband and I both can agree that it made us better parents.  We learned so many great things from the teacher and from the therapist.  I mommy even made a new friend.  The speech therapist and I still socialize(we have children the same age)... Well I def. give you moms of "special" kids alot of praise.  Being a mom is hard enough but being a mom+ is even more work.  BTW your family is beautiful.  I had always loved BIG familys but we turned out to only be a family of 3 and 1 more part time.  My fears play a BIG role in me only having Brandon.  I do hope though they(B and J) can form a brotherly relationship ..time will tell. May I ask how old are all your children??     You are so sweet :) We did want to possibly have two more children. We knew we could love and cherish another special needs child, but with my health problems and the extra work required with a special needs child, we decided to stop with five. It breaks my heart that we wont have any more children, I still grieve every day and my DH had the vas. almost 18 mo ago. Maybe we can adopt another, who knows huh? Oh, my children, from left to right are my neice, who is 17 (my sister loves her drugs more than her child, sore subject, can you tell lol) Jessica is 17, Comer is 7, Taylor is 13, Jacob is almost 3 and Rachael is 19. It sounds like your little boy has a set of great parents, and I am sure that plays a role in what a great kid he is and how easy going he is too. I bet he and his half-brother will be really good friends  :)  All of my children had significant speech delays, requiring speech therapy and early childhood classes by age 3.  My middle child , Michael, is the only one of my children though to be dx'd with autism.  The teachers at school were great with picking up on difficulties that Michael was having, and referred him to more services through the school district, including PT and OT by the time he was 4.  He wasn't officially dx'd with autism until last winter, but I've always known since he was about 3-4 years old that he had significant delays, even if I didn't have an official dx.  My youngest is now almost 7 and in first grade, well past the age that we had identified Michael's delays.  I'm 99.9% positive that Jon does not have autism, but do I sometimes wonder when he does something that is similar to his brother, 'could Jon have autism as well?'  or his he just copying his big brother?  I would advise you to talk with your son's teachers, and his doctor, if they see any autistic like behaviors.   Let them know about your stepson and why you are concerned.  I still ask Jon's teachers at conferences if they have any concerns!  I think it is completely normal to worry (I think about it daily about my 5mo DD), but it helped me to hear people tell me that we also don't know what the future holds for NT children as well.  That really put things in perspective for me.  (((HUGS))) you are NOT alone You can have autistic traits without being autistic. My approach was just to have my younger son evaluated about every 18 months. Whatever your child "has", he already has it--the diagnosis does not change it. I used to be scared of getting him evaluated because it felt as though a diagnosis would change him--but the diagnosis does not change the child--the child is who the child always was and is. You really cannot make someone autistic--I know I get these looks sometimes where people don't believe my older son is autistic--and I feel like saying: you know, it's not a piece of cake to get an autistic disorder diagnosis--if he did not have the symptoms, he would not have the diagnosis. It's not something you can just walk in and get if your child is not autistic. Anyway, that is how I looked at it. Nowwhat
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