She has a friend!
| Back to Autism Information >> Next Topic | ||
|
Clarissa made a friend about two days ago. The girl lives a few doors down...we live in a townhouse complex. I know this might sound a bit mean but...I hope she doesn't screw up *cross fingers*. I'm so very happy. But anxious. I'm afraid she'll get flustered at her friend's house and that'll be the end of it, you know? I'm a bit anxious because Clarissa can't seem to follow her friend's lead. She doesn't "get with the program". I'm hoping that she'll pick up that she has to play off of her ideas if she wants to keep it flowing. I hope everything turns out. This is her first real "play" friend she's had in a couple of years. I didn't realize Clarissa was so big already! It's excellent that she's found a playmate that lives so close. The convenience makes it a lot more likely to continue, even if their play styles aren't a perfect match. I'm crossing my fingers for you! You might want to try the "Model me kids: Playdate" DVD. My kids have only seen it a couple times, but the "play what they play" lesson really stuck. My oldest son even played Barbies when he was invited to a girl classmate's house as part of the "Friends Group" program in his class (everyone is assigned to a group with both boys and girls, and the group meets once at each kid's house).
I'm happy for you (and Clarissa too!). I'm hoping this will be the beginning of a lasting friendship for her. Try not to be too anxious. I'm sure she will do great and even if it doesn't work, its still a start and she will get some valuable experience. (Remember, even with NT kids, relationships don't always work!) In the meantime, just celebrate this new beginning.
That is great news that she has a friend! We too have neighbor girls that are about dd's age and sometimes they play well together and sometimes they don't. What I think is strange is that no matter how bossy and self centered dd gets and how offended I am by dd's behaviors, the kids don't seem to mind as much. Wishing Clarissa much luck! Renee I am so happy to hear her have a friend.. we have no kids in the neighborhood for our dd. It works out so much better when they are close like that..so many opportunities. I would do the model me kids dvds "Time for a playdate" ..it will give her the skills and rules to help her:) Making and decorating cookies is a wonderful way to get them together doing something structured and both getting reinforced at the same time:) Art projects like painting or making beaded necklaces and bracelets is fun too. We had a playgroup for over 2 years and it worked very well because it was very structured. Have games out and joint play items. Key is to reinforce the playmate so that she will want to come back~you may have to be closeby in the beginning to help prod and prompt your girl till she can engage her friend all by herself:) Best of luck and keep us posted! I did the Model Me Kids thing. I don't think Clarissa really "got" it.I'll see about showing it to her again. She hasn't seen her friend in a few days. I hope she hasn't forgotten Clarissa.I definatly wish ya luck with that. I will say that your feelings about the relationship may be vastly different then hers. My feelings of my childhood relationships may also be different then hers too, I was a guy, shes a gal. At that age, I never had the thinking that 'I better play nice and do everything right or they wont like me'. My feeling was 'they better do whatever I say or ill hit them, NEVER ONCE did I go along with anyone, tho I did somehow manage to get some kids to follow me, mainly because I came up with some games and stuff... glad they could make sence of it. I guess one of the earliest times (age 7-8) that I did start playing a little better was when during recess we would play teenage mutant ninja turtles. We had kids divide up and we would fake beat up the kids. Problem was, I didnt understand it was a game, and never knew when it was time to end, so I ended up hurting several kids, to the point where they didnt wanna play anymore, and so even in school sometimes I would attack if I saw them, so that didnt go to well. Just at that age, your ability to see 'self' isnt developed, so I could not know I was doing the wrong thing, no sence of how the other kids may view me or feel. Girls have some things easy, and some things not, and it took me several YEARS and YEARS of getting out their, trying, failing, learning, not learning, to finally get it right... but by that time childhood was years over by then and I had to be mature, so that kinda bums me out, 95% of the time as a kid I NEVER got to play correctly, and play nice... but sometimes. I wanna almost venture a guess and say she has it harder then I did, I was a guy, so I could get away with some roughhousing and all, girls are different, and its not matter what an uphill battle. I didnt have parents who knew how to follow up like now, nor did I have anyone to tell me or show me how to do it, instead all I had was hurt and angry kids, and punishments that meant nothing cause the next day their I was again doing it over and over and over again. I guess the only thing you can do is work with the other parent, keep coaching, try and help her understand and maby she can, after years of trying do better then I did, and it does take years I think for these things to sink in, age, development and all. I never really thought of it that way really, essentially my entire childhood I never really got to play nice and right, always I played by my rules, my way and with aggression, it just never stopped, shes a gal, so at least she may not be like that, but her social skills will certainly have to develope faster then mine to mix with the other girls, boys aint like that so much at that age I didnt think anyways. Good luck!!!! really I mean that, reading stuff like this just really makes me forever wish I could somehow have known better at a time when it was unlikly, and as an adult its something that indeed haunts me, I hope she doesnt have to feel that way years down the road. Great news! Maybe you could have your dd invite her new friend out to do some activity that the friend enjoys and maybe doesn't get to do too often like bowling, or pizza out. Also, this would allow you to be close by to help keep the ball rolling sort of speak. Congrats on this good news! This relationship is going nowhere.Just about every time Clarissa goes to the door to ask Taylor to play, no one answers. I don't know if it's just a matter of her not being there, or they're not answering the door. Although the other day, Clarissa asked Taylor out to play and Taylor said she couldn't. Clarissa scooted away and Taylor called her back to give her a hug. It was so precious. It confirmed that Taylor really likes Clarissa and is eager to hang around. It made me so happy. I suspect that Taylor stays with her mom one week and her day with the other. That might explain the long absences. And now that the days are shorter, it will be harder to catch her when she's outside. Tonight was a big disappointment. Clarissa got her Scholastic book order, which was a pack of Disney Princess books. She went over to Taylor's to show them to her. But no one answered the door. I hope things improve. I would hate for Taylor to forget Clarissa in the coming months. |
||
|
Copyright Autism-PDD.net
|
