newly diagnosed - sad I still cry occasionally after three years. Mostly when I am overwhelmed with her care or not getting enough rest. It *will* get easier. I think Snoopywoman had great advice, that I also followed when my dd was younger. Don't let the diagnosis define your child. Do whatever therapies you think are needed but let her have her childhood and all the fun that comes with it. Just speaking from my own experience, I did not overload on outside therapies. I did as much as I could on my own in my child's natural environment. Happiness and self-esteem will be very important for her as she develops. Also, I don't know the specifics of your situation but keep in mind that things can be very fluid at such a young age. I'm not saying the dx is wrong, but just that many things can change as children get older. It was once thought both of my twins were on the spectrum b/c of one's extensive language delays and other developmental milestone concerns, but that did not turn out to be the case, so I'm just saying you never know. Cast a wide net as you monitor her and research what's out there. And know this is the best place to get support! My 20 month old daughter was just recently diagnosed with autism.  How long does the sadness last?  I have about a 4 hour period of every day that just stinks.  Of course, we feel very overwhelmed about therapies, too.  That doesn't really help.  crunchykd, I am really sorry that you feel that way.  My autistic son is almost 13 and the sadness comes and goes even now.  Definitely look into finding therapies or programs to find something early and as she reaches goals that will also help you and your family.  I hope you feel better soon. ((HUGS)) My 21 month old 12/5/2006 was diagnosed yesterday as having ASD. I broke down in the doctors office. I read up so much these past two months, did every possible survey/questionaire on the net that I knew his was on the spectrum, but when he formally told me, I could not take it. We are meeting with EI to come up with how much to intensify his services.My husband asked me today" when is he going to get out of this" made me want to cry again. The only way I deal with it is to have a plan, ... an outline of what I am going to do this week, our goals and a vision of what my beautiful baby will do in six months. that is the only thing that is keeping me going.Please PM me if that is ok with you to discuss how many hours and what kind of treatment you are going for.We are thinking of ABA but are confused because there is so much out there and it is sooo hard..... He is still just a baby... The grief is different for everyone...I wailed and bawled for days and couldnt get the word autism out of my brain...the thing that helped me the most was reading "Let me hear your voice" by Catherine Maurice..she recovered her two kids from autism using ABA & speech..I was so inspired and felt my dd was exactly like hers in the book..cried all the way through~very emotional book but it put me in a urgent mode I never felt in my life and got her in a full time in home ABA program (30 hrs) within two weeks and 2 hours of speech and got her into a DAN doctor...read my brains out on whatever I could get my hands on and got on medication myself so that I could focus and do what needed to be done. The therapists were my best friends at the time and I soaked up what they did with her so that I could do it when they went home...It was an insane part of our lives with the therapies, the GFCF diet..biomedicals we did but I thank God I did it because she changed so dramatically and I wouldnt change a thing now if I had to do it all over...just wished I had done it earlier...she was almost 3 at the time. Boards like this one were not as open as this one and I never found one that helped me feel better till this one:) WE have the best parents in the world with the most resources and best advice ever...so know you are not alone and never underestimate your daughters strengths..my dd didnt say mama till she was 4 and now she is doing awesome with very little to show she has autism..there is hope and our kids do progress...stay away from naysayers or negative people in this area...cling on to hope and have goals way up high and never give up on them..come here and talk to us:) We are here to help:) Blessings, My own daughter was 27 months old when she was diagnosed last November.  At the time, I knew she was on the spectrum but truly wasn't prepared for my reaction to the formal diagnosis.  I was devastated.  I cried all day long, cried myself to sleep and even cried in my sleep.  It was soo very hard to accept.  I remember vividly those dark days and I don't know how I got through them.  My husband was my rock (and still is) together we found our way out of the darkness.  We still feel sad here and there but it no longer consumes us.  It takes time, but you will feel better.  I was sad - but I just hit the ground running. His pre-K teacher suggested the possibility of Asperger's. She called me in the early evening to discuss it. The next day, I was on the phone setting up appointments, getting evals, getting him into integrated gymnastics to develop balance and coordination. That's how I deal with things - I just start doing and making things happen. Everyone grieves differently - as someone else said. Now, that doesn't mean I didn't get sad - and I still do occasionally. Yesterday, my dd got a birthday party invitation and my ds wants to go. I told him he could not. He wanted to know why. I told him because it was going to be a bunch of 4 year old girls at the party and he wasn't invited - he doesn't even KNOW the birthday child. Then, he very sadly asked me why HE doesn't ever get invited to classmates' birthday parties. It about broke my heart. I told him that maybe he would this year. I honestly don't know if people in his class did parties last year. And he has been invited to neighbor's birthday parties - but I know he knows it's not the same. It gets better - but the first year is the roughest. Just remember that your daughter is still the same person - you just know more about her now. And more about how to better interact with her to help her. It is very tempting to do absolutely everything at once - but really research things before you try something. There are lots of treatments and therapies out there - none are a cure-all and none are right for every child. That probably is not what you want to hear - but please stick around. There are lots of people who can give you tons of advice and support. This board has been my lifeline at times - I have been here for over 3 years - even before we had an official diagnosis. Welcome. I'm glad you're here. Talking about your problems and questions on here can be very healing. I do it a lot because my dh can only take my talking about autism so much. He doesn't want autism to run our lives. And, honestly, it doesn't any more. My son is a young boy and we treat him like one. We make modifications here and there but for the most part - we try to treat him like we would any other child. He has made tons of progress. Which is good, considering how much money we have poured into therapies! Hang in there - it does get better. You will get through this. You have come to the right place! This past September 11th was our 1yr anniversary of being diagnosed.  There was relief at first, then complete obession with research, then I hit a rock bottom.  I hit it a couple times actually.  There's a mourning involved for some of us. I can tell you that the last 4 months or so, I've gotten to a really good place.  A place I'd never thought I'd be. I still have my moments, but I never thought I'd be here. Your DD has so much potential, getting diagnosed so young!  This is a blessing that I am sure is hard to see now, but as she progresses you will.  Good luck to you! I had more guilt than sadness. I am kinda one of those that, gets a diagnosis and runs to find info, and see what has to be done. I think, because I had already had a son with SD and went through so much with him (the crying 16 hours, non stop for over 6 months had me in tears at just the thought of waking up), the autism diagnosis didn't throw me as much. The guilt I had was because, I had lost a child the year before. I felt like, if I didn't rush into wanting another baby so much, this wouldn't have happened. I blamed myself for everything. The guilt consumed me..and I admit that, some days, that guilt is still night. I also find myself defensive. Either their clothes aren't good enough or, I am not doing something good enough, or I can't get a hold of thigns good enough. I do cry--but I think it's over everything--I just let it build up until I explode. Hugs to you and lots of understanding and caring coming your way! God Bless, Kelly It does get better ... take your time and grieve fully. Personally my sadness was just displaced by my DS, 5, who now has an ADHD diagnosis,  His behavior is far, far more stressful and frustrating than my ASD kid's! My son was diagnosed just last week.  I still cry but at the same time I'm honored to have such a special boy.  I have a peace in my heart, knowing he'll be ok.  I'm choosing to see it as challenging news, not bad news.  But I do go in and out of feeling positive.  Just know you have a special little person that you've been trusted to take care of!  But now that I talk about it...I'm crying again.  GAH, a mismash of feelings.  It's been a hard week.
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