what do you tell other kids I say that my son has autism and talking is hard for him. He understands what you say to him, but he may not answer.  Hey, it's never too early to educate! In my opinion your answer was great. You really encouraged the other little girl to continue interacting with your daughter. If another child asked this kind of question I would have said the same thing, and I would try to make him/her feel comfortable around my son. I would say something like: he is shy, but he seems to like you very much. What was her question by the way? And does your daughter talk sometimes? Why doesn't she talk?  Another child asked me this when my dd did not respond to the little girl's question.  I'm just not prepared for these questions yet.  I just said, she is shy so keep trying, though.  The little girl who asked this was 5 yrs old.   I never talk about "autism" because I don't think the term really means much to other kids.  I use the "everyone is working on something message." Last year, we were on a 2 week vacation with my boys, my sister's 2 boys (6 & 8) and the child of a friend (7).  My 8 year old nephew was complaining about my son C being rough during play. (Sidenote here, C wasn't really being all that rough, but my nephew is a bit delicate and prone to crying.)  Knowing all the kids well, I said that "everyone is working on something."  I went through with each of them what I know that they are each working on (being a better listener for one, being less of a tattletale for another) and I said that C is working on things too.  He goes to speech class at school to help him with his words, and that we are also helping him to play nicer with other kids.  I emphasized that different things are easy and different things are hard for each person, and that we all have to help each other.  They seemed to buy it. In our case, it depends on the child and their level of understanding. When a 7 yr old asked me I explained he has autism and isn't very good at talking yet but please keep talking to him. When it was a 3 year old I just said, he feels shy, keep trying. I would rather that they ask questions instead of just staring at my son. In my mind I know that they are just children, and they are curious, but I just want to tell them "Stop Staring!!!" If there is a program going on I just tell them to keep their eyes up front. At least if they are asking questions it gives the opportunity for him to make a friend.
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