How can I prepare my son for a new baby??Hi all. Well, I am due at the end of June. I am trying to figure out how to prepare my son for his new sister coming home. I have no idea how to do this though because he is still nonverbal and does not understand alot of things.. I know that its probably going to be really hard on him with a new baby around, and Im not sure exactly how hes going to react. If anyone has any suggestions for me about what I can do to make this transition easier for him, and all of us for that matter, I would really appreciate it! Thanks all Jen I love story books about kids who also happen to have babies. A couple that I regularly get for my expectant friends are:
My boys adore those books. Cole also lreally iked a story called The Pig in the Wig, which only incidentally mentions a baby, but the baby goes 'wah, wah' and the mother says 'hush my baby, its okay". Well, when Cole's baby brother was born or we'd hear babies crying in Walmart, Cole would go "aw, hush, sweet baby. Its okay, its okay baby." Taught him how to comfort and to know that crying is just a normal thing for babies to do. Most upscale baby-wear stores have t-shirts that say "I'm a Big Brother" which I think is cool. People will compliment and congratulate your son on his baby. Congratulations! There is a Mr. Rogers book that is really good - I think it's called "The New Baby". One thing we did that really helped was have the baby "purchase" a gift for our ds. He was really into Clifford at that time and Kohl's had Clifford as their special purchase during that time - where you pay $5 for the item and all the proceeds goes to their children's charity. So, we purchased this rather large stuffed Clifford for $5 and that was my dd's gift to ds when he came to the hospital the first time to meet her (which was about an hour after she was born). He was THRILLED with the Clifford! I think it kind of stymied him how the baby could have known he liked Clifford (but he didn't question how the baby could have BOUGHT the Clifford I realize your child is still nonverbal - but doing these things might help! We also did a lot of "baby-watching" where we would go to places that had a lot of babies and watch moms with them. I would point things out - about how the mom would be oh-so-careful with the baby and hold their heads just right and comfort them when they cry. My ds was particularly concerned that my dd would cry a lot - the noise bothered him. We were SO fortunate to be blessed that my dd rarely cried unless she was hungry, wet or tired. She was happy and smiley the rest of the time! I hope that happens for you as well. We love the book Pirates Don't Change Diapers at our house as well Leanne! I hope some of this helps! We did the baby doll thing, too. I'd even put the nursery monitor in one room and make a crying baby noise that he'd hear in his end of the monitor. Then I'd help him run and find the baby and say "It's okay, baby" and change the doll's diaper, etc. He supposedly didn't miss me much the first couple days of my hospital stay, but he was pretty clingy when I finally got home. He was curious about the baby when they picked me up at the hospital, but wasn't interested AT ALL until 2 weeks later, when he asked for a turn to hold the baby. We also did the gift thing. The transition went fine for us. One thing that helped for us was talking about having another baby, not a new one. Frequently we would talk about something (a toy for eg.)being broken, and needing a new one, before throwing the what ever it was away. We didn't want Sam to think he was being replaced . (this was with Imogen our No. 2) We told nos 1+2 about our no.3 very early, so they would have lots of time to get used to the idea before she arrived, and involved the others in setting up beds etc.Now we are expecting no.4, and again we have told the kids early, which has helped reduce the amount Sam jumps on me. Rhiannon (almost 3) loves to play a game where she hugs me tight and says "my mummy" challenging the other kids to dare trying to hug me too, in a very possesive way. So we are working on the fact that just because I am "hers" doesn't mean I'm not someonelse's too!(sp) My family was really great in that when they brought a gift for the baby, they brought a little something for dd, too. And they talked to her first when they came to visit- we made sure the attention was not all focused on the new baby (my dd was about your son's age, bur she was verbal). She also got to go on special "big sister" activities with grandpa, etc. that we'd tell her you could only do if you were a big sister. And I'd tell her all about her when she was that age, like "look, Caleb has long fingers just like you when you were a baby. Did you that know that when you were born......" I don't know how much your ds understands, but that worked really, really well for us and we didn't have nearly the issues I thought we were going to! Here are a couple things that might be useful: http://www.djusd.k12.ca.us/pioneer/lburgos/SocialStories.htm - social story without illustrations. http://www.aboutkidshealth.ca/JustForKids/newbaby1.aspx - online books about baby on the way and being a brother/sister to a new baby. Good luck, and congratulations! Thanks norwaymom. I am reading a book right now called from one child to two, which is pretty good, but I am wondering if there are any more specific books that deal with children with autism and bringing in a new baby.. Anyone know? I appreciate the suggestions! Thanks Jen and Rebecka. Rebecka, those are great suggestions of a day in the life of the baby. Hadnt thought of that! Thanks chibby and kim for the suggestions!We bought a baby doll and practiced with him as well as the books and videos. I don't think he really understood that his little brother was there for good, though. We made sure to keep his schedule the same when his brother was born.We did the baby doll thing as well, going to be a rough go I think introducing Alex to the new addition in August argh.We just had a baby in January and we had his teacher make a social story for him. He obsessed over the story but it helped. He normally cries when other kids cry but we worked that in too and he is fine with Emma crying. We also had him go and paint her a piece of pottery for him, just something small to baby sister. Then we picked out something really cool for her to give to him. She had it with her when we brought her in for the first time. We kept his routine as normal as possible when I was in the hospital. My mom stayed here and then he came to visit the second day I was there. I would say just include him in everything. I try not to make a huge deal about her and have had to stop my parents from doing it too. I make sure I am all over her but when he isn't around or I will make faces at her instead of a huge "You are so cute Emma" constantly. If I compliment her I compliment him even more so. I involve him a lot. Congratulations and Good luck!!! Ooops, I can't edit but this...We also had him go and paint her a piece of pottery for him.. Should be We also had him paint a piece of pottery for her.... Sorry about that... Thanks all. I think the baby doll sounds like a good idea , especially for a nonverbal child. Might help some at least! Tons of good suggestions!!! Before I gave birth DD and I went to Build a Bear and she made him a bear with a special message in it and then we made one for her! She really enjoyed that and it made it so that she was looking forward to baby brother coming home so that she could give him the gift! We also had a gift from him to her. Also to take the baby doll thing one step further...if you have the nursery set up maybe do a "day in the life with new baby". Do things that will happen when the baby arrives, maybe dh can take pictures of Zach helping to feed the baby doll, getting wipes so mom can change a diaper, gently touching the baby dolls hand, helping to put the baby to bed, etc...and then creating a little book. You can tell him that once the baby arrives that you can replace all the pictures with some of him and his new sibling. We did something similar with my daughter and she really got into it. Good luck with the big transition! were having another baby too and wasnt sure how to handle it either, what we did do was get Kane a book on mummy having a baby there is a picture of a pregnant woman and then it shows shes not pregnant and the baby is in her arms kane loves this book and shows some understanding of it we make up the story as we go along and pretend its our family, he loves the book and has started taking it to bed with him! i cant say if it worked or not yet we wont have our bubs till august (due 1st of sep but i have diabeties so they induce me 3 weeks early) The Build a Bear Idea is Great, btw!Thanks norwaymom. Glad to hear the transition went fine! |
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). He also bought her a gift that he brought to the hospital - a very cute stuffed duck called Waddles that also doubles as a teething toy (babies can chew on the rubberized feet). He picked it out himself.