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	huge breakthrough! So, as I've posted in other threads, Donny is attending play therapy to address his grief and losses (he lost two families before coming to us), and also working on learning anger management. He's starting to make progress on the anger management front, at least in showing a desire to learn to control himself, and showing genuine remorse for his actions after he blows up. Tonight, he was acting up at dinner, and wound up being removed to his room. We tried to prevent the blow up, but every direction we gave him to calm, do his breathing, etc., he was being defiant of. Once in his room, he threw a tantrum and was smashing the door, walls, toys, furniture, etc. He calmed within 10 minutes, and was crying and saying "I ruined it. I made it worse." I reassured him that he didn't make it worse, he is getting better, it takes practice, etc., and that we still love him. Everything seemed fine afterwards. He finished his evening routine, and asked to go to bed shortly before 8pm. Half an hour later, I was in the washroom (next to his room) and could hear him sobbing in his bed, and saying "mama, my mama" over and over again - he hasn't called me mama since he was crying for his previous foster mom his first night in our home. I went into his room and asked what was wrong, and with much encouragement to use his words and tell me why he was so sad (versus just continuing to cry), he said "It's hard to believe in yourself", then started REALLY sobbing and choked out "you'll choose someone else". It was not echolalic (I asked him, and he always tells us if it's original (Donny's head), or from a movie or whatever. I reassured him that we are NOT choosing someone else, that things will be okay, he'll learn to control his anger, we'll always be his family, etc. I acknowledged that he lost two moms before, but stressed that that is NOT going to happen again. Then, Donny asked to come sleep in our bed. He has never, in the 4 1/2 years we've had him, asked for this. So, as I'm typing this on my laptop, he's laying beside me, snuggled up in his Dad's blanket, and going to sleep. While I'm heartbroken that my little boy is so sad, and so insecure, I'm also elated that he's starting to get in touch with those feelings, to articulate them, and to reach out to us. It gives me hope that he'll work through it, and that it really WILL be okay, someday. That is tragic and amazing all in one! I'm so glad to hear him verbalizing this sort of stuff! I agree with him, it's very hard to believe in yourself! It will be ok, you've been working for this for a while now.. and its so fantastic to read that he's in your bed right now..that's big! Hi Donny! So patient and loving. He is very lucky to have found you. That connection that he is getting with you that he has never had before is simply marvelous.  What a gift to you both. Bask in it. You are an inspiration!!  I am so happy to hear of this success and the many others that I am sure will come You really are an amazing woman and your son could not be luckier...Congratulations I am glad Donnie has you!  You are the best.  What a breakthrough..brought tears to my eyes!  Such a sweetheart:) That is truly amazing. Having done a lot of work with foster families - I have seen/heard of moments like this - and they are awesome. Usually, there is a change in the family dynamic after an incident like this. Don't worry if there is a backslide - he may feel embarrassed about showing his feelings like that and/or worried that he made himself vulnerable. Having had two losses of families makes a child gun-shy to open up - so it is WONDERFUL that he was able to do so with you. WAY TO GO! I know it is hard to see your child so upset, but this is something that needed to happen and will hopefully help things get better as well. Please keep us posted! I saddens me to think Donny was in such pain, but I am absolutely elated for you.  How wonderful it must have been to have him snuggled up in bed beside you!  You are doing an amazing job! Happy tears of joy.  Sounds like you are getting to the bottom of the agression problem.  It is so wonderful when we can treat the actual problem and not the symptoms.  Hooray for you and your boy.  May your path be easier every day!   What an insightful little boy he is.  I have a feeling things are going to get much, much better.  What an angel. Wow - that brought tears to my eyes.  That is truly a breakthrough worth celebrating. The poor kid is going to have a tough time working through all those feelings -- but my gosh HE'S WORKING THROUGH THOSE FEELINGS and TELLING YOU ABOUT THEM.  That's fabulous. How wonder you found each other!
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