Download 2 Free
|
| Back to Autism Information >> Next Topic | ||
I’m sad **seeing autism in another kid**I'm really really sad today. I was going to post about this yesterday but I got a little sidetracked. I posted about going to my neice's 17th karaoke birthday party...well yesterday was her family party and since it was being held across the street, Jacob and I went to it. B didn't want to leave the swing, so he stayed at home with his grandma. This is why I'm sad. I was only able to stay at the party for 10 minutes. It wasn't because of Jacob either. He stayed longer than I did lol. My sister's husband's family was at the party. I know all of them pretty well. I run into them at my sister's house about twice a year. My sister has a sister in law who has 5 kids. Her oldest two were 24 week preemies and have overcome alot to get to where they are at right now. One is blind and one has vision issues and a slight developmental delay. Her next child is totally NT. She has a little girl who I've only met once. Then there's her youngest boy. He's 5 and I had never met him before yesterday. He was always at his grandmothers when I ran into them before. I was only able to stay for 10 minutes because of this little boy. He is 5. He says maybe 20 words. He flaps. He mouths. It broke my heart to see. It was very obvious after only 10 minutes of observation that he's on the spectrum. After everyone else left the party, I went back over to my sisters and her sister in law was still there. The little boy was asleep on the couch and I said, "Who's this little guy? I don't think I've ever met him before" trying to initiate some kind of conversation with her. She told me his name and said, "You've probably met him before, but it's easy to overlook him. He's in his own little world most of the time." I've since found out that the little boy is in pre-k and has apparantly slipped through quite a few cracks. They blame the flapping on him imitating his blind brother who also flaps. I'm just heartbroken for her and for her little boy. They literally have no clue what's going on. I want to say something. I don't know how. I came home and cried and then I talked to my mom. She says to not say anything. I'm hating myself for it, but I don't know how to approach this subject so I'll probably end up saying nothing. They are going to be at my other neice's 15th birthday party in two weeks at my sisters again. Brendon will be attending this party because quite honestly, I don't think she's ever met him either. Maybe that will help things click into place for her and she'll ask some questions. saying something to her, poor woman she has so much on her plate anyway. On the other hand that little boy is still so young and he deserves to get treatment. I think that if someone had to tell me about my son without hurting my feelings it would have to be a doctor or a parent with a kid on the spectrum. You could tell her about B and ASD and see how it develops...She may think you are overreacting but there also are good chances that she will appreciate your input. You are an 'insider' ... Good luck. You know, I said I wouldn't be posting for awhile..because..but after reading this post I can relate. I teach preschool and in the many years I have done this I have run across several children who were Autistic..varying levels..It will help for the mother to see another autistic..but I am surprised she has not picked up on it just when her son is around "normal" children. It is not easy to tell someone what might be happening. in fact I have another little boy this year who I can swear is aspergers...social skills are lacking, and he always comes as a dinosaur and I mean dinosaur...he has also told me sometimes the kids make too much noise and are too many..in these situations he ends up screaming at them. he only roars from the time in comes in to the time he leaves..I have made a point of getting him to talk..which he does well..very montone..anyway good luck In my experiences in teaching/substitute teaching I have found myself in this position many times. Only once, when I was a certified teacher, did I mention one case to my supervisor, but she basically blew it off. This was a 15-year old student who showed obvious signs of autism (obvious to me anyway) but she was dismissed as "bipolar" and "mentally retarded." In actuality she was more intelligent than she was being given credit for, but she was not being observed correctly.After that, in substitute teaching, I have seen several kids that I know are on the spectrum but I just can't say anything because I am increasingly aware that our schools are just not equipped to even recognize the signs, let alone deal with a confirmed case. It's really more than I myself am equipped to tackle, so what I do is if I see a kid who flaps or stims, or who talks in that way (you guys with verbal ASD kids know exactly what I am talking about), I simply deal with them according to what my own needs would be in their situation, and send them on. I figure it's something that they are at least treated right for one day, and that way I can help them a little but not put myself in anyone's crossfire. This is a real tough situation but I think you recognize the need to do something... the only problem is what. I think if I were in your shoes I might approach your sisters' s-i-l and say something like "I've been thinking about your youngest child and think he may be dealing with some of the same issues my son has. If you have some time maybe we could talk about it." You may find she's not receptive to the idea, at least you'll know you tried. Rhosyn, as hard as it is, you HAVE to say something. I feel strongly about this issue because my best friend who is in the medical field told me she suspected my son was autistic at his 2nd b-day but didn't tell me because 1) she wasn't sure and 2) she didn't want to upset me. Fortunately, I found out a couple of months later & I was pretty mad at her but we've made up & still best friends Anyway, think of it this way: You owe it to the little boy to give his family a clue so they can get him the help he needs! Doing the right thing is sometimes very hard but we need to be courageous and ready to risk damaging relationships so some kid will have a chance at a better life! But before you say anything, make absolutely certain you are right about him otherwise it can really backfire on you! Just my opinion! you have to say something ! I really was resentful of the mom who first told me that R was not developing in a typical way but I am so grateful to her now I can relate to this. My friends son who they did get evaluated when he was very young is displaying most if not all symptoms of asd. I casually mentioned that he does xyz like dd and they didn;t get it at all. I have tried leaving hints but no luck. I too hope that the school catches on to this. or his pedi because as he gets older it gets more and more pronounced. I know that I will be here for her when she is ready. Good luck in whatever you decide to do or sayI'll see him again in two weeks. I'm taking B with me to that birthday party. Hopefully some things will click with that. If not, then I'll think of another way. I'm not going to sit back and do nothing. But I'm risking alienating alot of family members if the mom gets upset with me. I thought about talking to her brother about it. He's my brother in law. I've thought about talking to her mom about it. I'm closer to her mom. I'm friends with everyone in that family really except for this mom and the youngest brother. I'll think of something...just not sure what yet.It's understandable that the parents who are directly affected by the issue are the ones that take it the hardest so talking to her Mom may actually be a good idea. Then it becomes more of her responsibility rather than yours to pass it on. Just try to make your delivery gentle and to reassure her that there is hope! Like someone else mentioned, they will thank you someday if not right away! Good luck & let us know how it turns out! |
||
|
Copyright Autism-PDD.net
|