Tantrum Example Please Ugh, I WISH my son had those types of 'tantrums'. Ours is an all out RAGE fest! He will kick and hit and yell and scream and throw anything he can get his hands on. He will keep going whether I'm there or not, and he couldn't care less (or at least seems to) whether I'm watching. Its like he loses all control and just flips. Its never been 'drama-like' like in that clip the link was posted for. Even his mild ones are much worse than that. And he has several a day and he's four. Its exhausting. They're not quite as bad as they had been before he could speak. Before he began to talk, they could last an hour or more, and nothing you did seemed to make anything better. But now that he can communicate his sensory preferences better, and we know what sets him off more, its gotten better. But I'd say its night and day between the 'typical' tantrum and the 'real' ones. My almost three year old, throws 'fits' sometimes, but they're more like the one in the video -mild and short lived. At that age -maybe a bit older-, dd would sit on the floor of her bedroom, me sitting in from of the door to keep her in, 10-11 at night, having a meltdown, hurling toys at the door. I guess the way I used to always think of it is when she is in a meltdown, there is no reasoning with her- no punishmen or reward that would make her stop. My NT "gets" punishment and reward. My ASD DD does not- NOT while she is in the midst of a meltdown. Just thought I'd add a link to my collection of meltdown resources for anyone who's interested: http://www.autism-pdd.net/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=17134&am p;KW=meltdown+resources I would say duration, and distraction tend to set it apart.  If the tantrum is over 25 min or so and the level stays pretty bad, and you cannot distract them.  Then it is possibly not a typical tantrum. JMO For us Sharlet's meltdowns have greatly improved since meds, but still they are not typical, she will scream blue murder and she does lots of retching, she gets aggressive and will often try to hit herself.  Also nothing I can say or do or offer her will help, it just needs to run it's course. My thing is if( you) get scared ,that's not typical!!!,my son at 3 could tantrum so bad , and for so long it would scare me , and keep me up nights, worrying and trying to figure out triggers ,praying for things to get better,thats not Normal!!. His 3 year old brother has tantrums and its kind of funny,kicks his feet yells for a few minutes ,sits in time out says sorry mommy ,Thats it!!!!! God bless, Linda My kids react to tantrums as I guess typical kids would.  My older two went through the tantrum phase later though.  Most say it is around 2, but they didn't start until 3 1/2 and dd did it very minimally. My youngest is doing it more on schedule and seems to be fading out from it. Kristy's explanation was good. My son's meltdowns go on if I am in the room or not, and usually have a tigger...I prefer meltdowns as oppose to trantrum because I feel there is a difference...here is a link to show an actual "typical tantrum".  I think it may even make you laugh http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gk-OfmmRaqs My ds had tantrums that lasted about 1 hour about once a day.  When we started totally ignoring them (trigger was that he wanted something or didn't want to come in after being outside) they started reducing in frequency and now are rare and only last a few minutes.  He did not want to be comforted during tantrums and it only made them worse. www.babycenter.com reported on a study on temper tantrums, originally published in the Journal of Pediatrics.  They looked at healthy children vs. children who had a history of depression, ADHD or ODD.  They found that certain temper tantrum types were red flags for these conditions, and that they warranted consulting with a pediatrician.  Even though autism wasn't mentioned in the study, we all know that severe tantrums  (meltdowns) are associated with autism, too. Here's an excerpt from the article: "From their observations, Belden's team devised five high-risk tantrum styles:  Tantrums marked by self injury; tantrums marked by violence to others or objects; tantrums in which children cannot calm themselves without help; tantrums lasting more than 25 minutes; and tantrums occurring more than 5 times a day, or between 10 and 20 times a month."   Read the whole article here: http://www.babycenter.com/204_study-identifies-five-temper-t antrum-red-flags_5226435.bc My son had the tantrums which involved violence and destruction. Our ped said to "wait" until 3y--when they should get less. He was the worst at 3-6y----until we found meds that worked. Also---his tanrums at that time---didn't really involve a "trigger"--they just happened. He wasn't dx'd until 6y--so it appeared there was nothing triggering them. Also---they lastest forever! When he was younger--12m-3y, they were very powerful but short-lived. 15 min tops. When older--they got to be 45 min to 1.5 hours. And of course daily--multiple times a day. IMHO, a tantrum requires an audience to be effective.  The child is doing it on purpose in an attempt to get you to comply with the childs wishes.  When a child is having a regular tantrum and you simply walk away, leave the room, get out of the car, etc. the tantrum typically stops within a minute or two.  When an ASD child has a meltdown, the behavior is typically out of their control and won't simply stop if you leave.  It may actually get worse. Try walking away / leaving and see what happens.... Good explanation kristy. Hello, First time parent wondering the difference between a "typical" two year old temper tantrum and an ASD related tantrum.  How do you tell the difference between terrible two's behavior or tantrums that should be concerning? Thanks, John
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