Does it run in the Family???I told my brother and his wife. I didn't know how shameful a misability is in her culture. I knew their youngest was autistic from birth. The older one is just like his dad and I think(know) my brother is undiagnosed AS. It didn't seem to help and I just mentioned it now and then while wanting to scream and steal the boy. I knew my son was what ever I was, but not diagnosed until college. My diagnosis was dropped at age five when I was found to read. Now am HFA. Father is obviously on spectrum so try to be tolerant. I was told I was just like father's aunt. 2/3 paternal cousins definitely ASD and AS. I think one cousin was pretty normal in our generation. It seems to be getting more obvious each generation. I can't advise how, but recommend some approach about screening or getting a head start on skills they may have noted, or have they noticed any similarity to your child? I could be wrong, but I would feel guilt for not saying something. Maybe find a way to leave A label out of it. Best to you I think it runs in the family to some extent. My son has autism. I would bet my daugher has ADHD to some level but she seems to manage OK so we haven't seeked a diagnosis (the squeaky wheel gets the grease!). My niece on my husbands side is also ADHD. My mother-in-law who insists all the kids are just kids told me one day that her first son used to bang his head and play in his feces when I complained about some of my son's behaviors. The funny thing was she was telling me this to make me feel better because she thinks it is normal. CRAZY. But on the other side you have to be careful. All of us, to a certain extent, probably have some of the symptoms so it is a fine line..maybe we see it more because we are more sensitive. I am not sure but it is a thought. I have a niece who is two days older than my son. I remember when he was diagnosed I was able to find 2-3 symptoms in her (toe walking etc..) two years later she is a perfectly normal child and talks up a storm so it turns out I was wrong (good thing I never said anything!).I've often thought my youngest also had a higher form of ASD. I'm still not sure, but they say no. He can be obsessive and rigid. I was told ASD does indeed run in families. I think my own sister has it. She is reclusive, has tantrums, and can not hold a job even though she has a high IQ and meds don't change things with her. She is 25. My parents refuse to see it, and just say she is "immature" and will grow up one day. She lives with them and collects Social Security. Usually she does nothing except watch television and sleep. She never learned to drive and doesn't want to know how and says she never wants to get married. Ah, denial...lol. I still keep an eye on my younger one. So far he can at least make close friends and do school without help so I keep hoping that maybe he just has some "traits" but not enough to warrant interventions. I am quite paranoid about him!Some cases of autism come from spontaneous mutations, without a family history. But otherwise yes, it does run in families. I highly recommend the advice on this website for sharing concerns parent to parent: http://www.firstsigns.org/concerns/parent_parent.htm Otherwise, I recommend telling everyone you know about a set of great and comprehensive milestone lists at the CDC. They're written by the American Academy of Pediatrics, and cover not just the basics like first words and first steps, but also social and emotional milestones, all the way up to age 5. It's an easy way to help other parents monitor their kids' development, without mentioning the "A-word". Here's the link: Good luck with everything.
Our family on both sides are walking, talking textbook quirky folks. All of them. Especially the men (no offense to you men out there). I didn't think autism could possibly run in my family...until I really thought about it. My father and uncle (not brothers...my mother's brother and my father) both had severely antisocial issues...not antisocial as in being punks, but as in literally not knowing how to hold a conversation, coming out with odd stuff at odd times, extreme brightness, extremely concentrated interests, etc., etc. and eventually, at least in the case of my father, eventual hermit-dom, more or less, sequestered with his very very similar wife (it was eerie, their similarities, and they could accept no one else into their house to accidentally move around the coasters or come at 7:15 when 7:15 was usually washing-dishes time...or at 8:45 when 8:45 was have-some-fruit-for-dessert time...etc....etc.). And I am pretty antisocial. Without the brilliance, sadly! You can't have everything... Then I kind of dug deeper and realized that it isn't just "maybe" this person or "maybe" that person--I don't know how I missed this but I have just recently recalled my cousin, his wife and son. I lost touch with them years ago and my cousin has since died (very young--heart attack). But I have a memory of it being the early 90s and these two coming to visit with their son, and them talking about how the son didn't speak except to exactly quote movies. I mean literally...you couldn't get an answer to "How are you?" But his recitation of movies was spot-on, down to accents and facial gestures. It was amazing. He also didn't look at people. I remember at the time wondering what "that" could possibly be. Never in a million years would I have thought of autism. But at that time, the only way I'd ever heard of autism was through the book SonShine, with the sterotypical rocking, meltdowns and plate-spinning. Last year a different cousin, this one from my mother's side, e-mailed me in a semi-secret frenzy. His daughter had been diagnosed PDD-NOS and he knew I was "the person in the family with an autistic child" and he basically wanted reassurance...Their daughter is gorgeous. I think she's three now; at the time she was two and change. She hand-flapped and I think her language was delayed...he was so broken up and scared...because like me he thought nobody else could understand...or that this was such an anomaly or something...but again, he was probably coming from the place I've been coming from, denial of other family members being different or something. I'm not sure why this has happened in my family (the general sense of denial, I mean). Interestingly, these four--my one cousin's son, my other cousin's son, C (autistic) and E (speech and some social delays...remains to be seen) are all of the same generation. C and E are my sons and the little boy and little girl are my first cousins' children, one on my father's side and one on my mother's side. Can't bet it does not un in families, though only ds is diagnosed, I wonder about the social skills of some others in the family. Concernedpa. I definitely think so. I have an uncle who has some spectrum traits. My sister, while very social now, took 15 years to get that way and had, and still has, sensory issues. She also tends to go from highs to low depending on if her world is being held together or not. The smallest things throw her off. When younger she would not talk outside of the home which I found is selective mutism. Definitely nowadays she would have been dx PDD-NOS. Dh has a brother with social issues. I think he is on the spectrum. Dh calls it social anxiety. Then there are people all over the place on both sides with addiction issues.My 3 kids have PDD-NS dx.  , my drain is bramaged!! My grandfather, or my fathers father was a physics teacher.
heh, i certainly dont think nuclear exposure = ASD's obviously, but it runs in the family garenteed!! Anyways, to be honest, I cant decide if I was in your position if I would bring it up, on one hand with all the help out their kids with ASD's can do much better then kids with ASD's back in my day. However I bet bringing that up would be socially akward, and I fear that the parents may overreact and sign up for every theripy and service that their was. While some may help, I certainly always beleived that my experiences growing up as a normal child (i had nothing but special ed) and my experiences I think were better then any theripy I could have at least maby benifited from, help is good, but experience, trial and error, screwing up is what made me decent enough to live a normal self suficent adult life today. I wish ya luck with whatever you decide to do, but if you do maby present some information for them about it, a checklist perhapse?? You dont wanna panic them, and definatly I wish ya luck with whatever you decide.I believe so asd is genetic in some cases. It's so hard with any kid today from what i see. Ours are spolied by gp's which doesn't help either. They appreciate nothing at all. I believe the disabilitie thing comes from my dad's family. My 2 siblings are fine the best we know. Should I say anything to my brother?? I don't want to wait to long. The idea theat my nephew is missing all this time having nothing done kills me!!!The problem with it running in families (which I certainly believe it does) is that the families think these behaviors are normal, lol. I believe my (single, age 30-something computer programmer) brother is ASD, and myself (to a degree) as well. My mom thinks Jair is "normal" because in some ways, he's like my brother was as a child. @@ My point...?! I definitely think it runs in families. My oldest nephew has alot of red flags for aspergers, but my relationship with my sister isn't very conducive for me to talk to her about it. I've just been trying my best to spend some extra time with him myself. I also have two uncles who are most likely aspies and my dad who has some "quirks". I myself have alot of aspie traits. My ex husband is currently seeking a diagnosis. I don't think his is aspergers though...I think it's actually ASD. He's more profoundly affected than even he thinks. If you read this J...it's the truth and you know it... Hugs to you and welcome to the boards. My nephew is about 3 1/2 years old. He has always seemed to have something off about him. But of course no one would ever say anything to my brother or his wife, we just offer a helping hand. Since my own son was a baby and he had been showing his red flags i have been really reading and researching everything that i needed to do to help. While doing my research allot of the characteristics that came up on my reading totally fit my nephew. Now prior to my own sons research i would have never thought that there was something seriously wrong with my nephew just that he was different. Then of course he falls into the category of a Difficult Child. I guess what I am getting at is that NOW?? I believe that he has a lot of red flags that fit Aspergers. We have two nephews who I feel are on the spectrum. They are 9 and 12 and in different families. Both have issues, but are just a "hair" more mild than my ds - just enough to pass. But, both are VERY quirky. I think the parents are in denial on both. With one, the child is very athletic, so this gives him a way to fit in and have things to talk about with other kids. He has HUGE sensory issues and minimal eye contact and quirks. Also still has occasionaly meltdowns and inappropriate behaviors. But, not quite enough to probably get a diagnosis. The other one is older, has few (if any) friends. He is VERY quirky but a nice kid. He is compassionate with my kids (my ds LOVES him, as does my dd) but I do watch him around them. He doesn't always get what is appropriate for my kids. He will sometimes scare them - to be funny - but they don't find it so. His ability to read how others feel or predict how they might feel is nowhere near what you would expect for a 12 year old and it has always been this way. Did I mention he knew every make and model of car by the time he was 3? He still has an obsession with cars, but now is also obsessed with Webkins. I may be wrong, but I don't think that's typical for a 12 year old boy???!!??? His eye contact is not good, and he doesn't listen to his parents at all - and never has. They can tell him several times to do something and he ignores them. This happens at least 10-12 times every time we visit with them. If it is something important, they have to go over to him, force him to look at them and then tell him - he will then argue and then he MIGHT do it. Yes, I think autism/quirkiness runs in families. My dh will tell you that he was a LOT like my ds when he was little, but no one noticed it because he had so many siblings! |
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What do i do???? I don't want to hurt there feelings or insult them. But I do feel that the are wasting such valuable time to help him.. I want them to get him evaluated like I did for my son. I just don't want them to think that just because there is something wrong with my son means that there is something wrongs with theirs.... but there is.... I see it in both my brother and sister in law there worry and concern.. The funny thing is that both my brother and his wife KNOW everything that I have been doing and think I am the best for taking action for my son. They just must be in denial...