Feeling bad | Autism PDD

Thank you guys for all of the understanding and Kind words.Jonathan is back to his old self .Funny you should write this today ... this morning, Luke and I were at a playgroup at a playground. I was getting some much-needed adult-conversation time when I saw Luke climbing towards the swinging plank (which is attached to one of the play structures). I had Andrew in my arms and was about 30 feet away when I saw Luke take a couple of steps onto the plank ... sure enough, DOWN he fell. I think I got to his side in about a second, baby in my arms and all. Thankfully, Luke was NOT injured, just kind of shaken up and scared from the fall. Of course, all the other mothers at the playground gave me evil stares for the rest of our time there (which, admittedly, was deserved be/c I was jabbering away with friends instead of guarding my 2.5 yr old) and I had to leave very shortly thereafter due to the shame of it all.

BAD BAD MOMMY!!!

lol, hugs to all! Been there and done that and that and that!

I'm use to people coming to my house for holidays or something and saying rather concerned..."ah do you know he's climbing on the tv?" or "I think you better get him down from ontop of the entertainment stand!" ...I'm like, don't worry he's a pro LOL...we've had our scraps, bumps, cuts and bruises...my child looks like he's an abuse case w/ all the bruises on his legs, ouch! but I'm careful w/ things I can control, like keeping sharp objects out of reach, hot pots always in the back of the stove, bars on windows, pads on corners, and my constant, "no nicholas, do not climb on that!" Get down! be careful! etc...still Which Hazel is getting rich on purchases alone! It brings down those bumps and goose eggs in no time and if your kid hates ice, its awesome!!!

So Laura, you are not a bad mom, you are a great mom...great mom's kids get hurt sometimes no matter how hard we try!

big hugs!

Ali

Hey, I didnt know witch hazel brings down swelling!?!

Kellie, you have so much responsibility right now, with the wee one and the big guy, I dont even know how you had the strength to get the kids to the park. You are many things I am sure, but a bad Mommy is not one of them!!!!!!!!

BE GOOD TO YOUR KIDs MOMMY!!!!!!!!!!!!

Beloved, join the club. Moms all over the planet have to shake the guilt thing everytime our kids get hurt. One day I had to deal with the fact that I am not the Holy Spirit and cannot be in all places at all times. i am so glad that your son is o.k. Drink a cup of tea and tell guilt to join super ego on the curb. This might be a good time to rip out that old tape of 'you're not good enough', and play the ones that tell all of the wonderful things that you have done for you child. make a list of extra miles you have gone to keep him a rootin' tootin' little boy. the fact that he got up again and played with such energy, speaks to the resiliency that you have taught and given him. yea!!!!!!!! Janet

I am glad to hear your DS is OK.

Now, if you have the time I will share a story with you, that I hope will help you feel better.

When my DS was about 2, he more or less took full reign of the house and DH and I had many, many 'safety awarness' conversations. It was a whole new world to us, to have to babyproof everything and be forever aware of the seemingly harmless things that could hurt our son. We had been married for 26 years when our DS was born and we were NOT safety conscious at all.

My DH had this horrible habit of getting a knife out, he would cut a bite of cheese, or maybe an apple, or spread peanut butter, or whatever and he would lay the knife on a papertowel on the kitchen counter, he stopped doing that, but he continued to lay the knife in the sink, instead of the dishwasher like I ask. Well, after several gentle reminders, I really let him have it when one day I found DS standing in a chair that he had pulled to the sink and there was a knife in the sink............I was inappropriate in the way I reacted, instead of just reminding DH, I let my fear of what 'could have been' get the best of me and I was cruel and unkind in how I attacked my DH.

THe next day my DS comes to me and his entire shirt is wet, from waist to collar, on further inspection I see that it is coke. Well, Miss Know It ALL, Quick To Judge Others, just started bawling...........As I hugged my DS close to me! You see, I had always put my drinks in the middle of the kitchen table, nice and safe (UH HUH) and Ds had did his chair trick and got the coke, in trying to drink it, he had also spilled it all over. Well, thats not a big deal right? WRONG...........Just before this happened I had a HUGE, scalding hot 16 ounce mug of coffee sitting exactly where the coke had been sitting. My baby not only would have severly burned his mouth, he would have at least had 3rd degree burns all over his face and torso. The fear actually made me sick to my stomach!!!!

By the way, I called my DH at work and I apoligised to him for how I had treated him and I told him what happened with the coke. The moral of this story is, we can NEVER, EVER protect our children 100%, there is always going to be something that we dont know about or overlooked or have no control over. You need to learn from the incident and let it go (just as I had to do). Your child needs your help and beating up on his primary support (aka Mommy) is not going to help him! Repeat after me...I will not be mean to my child's mother!!!!

Ruth

Omg! I am glad that he is doing well. You are gonna hafta tell SuperEgo to take a hike and leave you alone! You were just taking a break and trying to enjoy some companionship, too. I know I always hafta watch AJ like a hawk and then some! Even when we go to the neighbors to bring them their mail...I keep running after him as I feel like he could break something or get into things he shouldn't. He is quite the runner. KNOWING that your son is ok, STOP beating yourself up and reliving that fearful experience. He is doing well and there is NOTHING you can do that will change what happened...yanno.

We all need to talk with adults, too. We can't give up our lives completely! If we didn't have some sort of a social life, how can we be happy? IF we are not happy, how can we keep our children happy? I concur with the fact that you are a really good Mommy! Why else would your children be AT the park?! You have your hands full, Girl...your children are lucky to have a Mommy like YOU! As for the other people in the park, pffffffff don't even waste your energy on them.