language question
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I could use some suggestions on a language issue from those who've maybe done ABA drills or similar to address this problem: As Don's grown more verbal and started to develop some early conversation skills, his ability to explain what he's upset about or wanting seems to have diminshed. For example, yesterday, we were going to Staples, which is near the mall. I'd prepped Donny for where we were going. He'd said "race to the mall", which is echolalia from a flyer, and his way of saying he wanted to go to the mall and browse/buy toys. I restated that we were NOT going to the mall, that we were going to Staples. As we made the turn away from the mall, towards Staples, he said "we can't!" I asked (knowing full well the answer), "what's wrong?", Donny responded "It's closed", I asked, "what is closed?", he said, "it's not closed, it's open", I again prompted "WHAT is closed Donny? What are you talking about", and he said "Staples is open" and shut down. This is a fairly typical exchange. Once upon a time, rather than being fairly compliant, but not using appropriate language, he would have been screeching "wrong way! I want Walmart!!!! Buy toys!" While I'm glad that he's not tantrumming anymore, I'd rather he was grumbling about wanting to go to Walmart, than about something being closed, and then changing it to "Staples is open". Similarily, sometimes I'll be driving somewhere and he starts getting agitated, saying "I can't". I'll ask "where do you want to go? What do you want?", and the only response I get is "we're going home" in a sullen voice. Many times I'd be open to taking him somewhere else, if he would just TELL me where he wanted to go. In the same vein, lately, when he's describing a problem or something else to me, instead of using the actual word, he'll use associated words, like categorizing. Where I see this frequently is if he's complaining of pain. He'll yell out because he's hurt himself. When I ask him if he's alright, he'll say "I'm okay", even if he's crying because it hurts. When I ask him what's the matter, he'll say "nothing's the matter", I ask what happenned, he says "nothing has happened". I'll continue prompting, asking "Don, where is your ow?", and he'll tell me (for example "my toe"), when I ask how he hurt it, he'll name a nearby body part. If I give a silly example of "did you hurt it by jumping off the roof", whereas he used to say "no!" and then correct me, now he'll just say "yes". So, it's become much more difficult to prompt out truths from him. Any ideas? Hayden has a very good vocabulary but what you said about donny getting hurt, hayden does this. Hes crying and i ask him if hes hurt and hel screech NO! andget upset at me for some reason. Then if i ask where did he get hurt hel either just try to block me out or hel tell me what hurt him, like the door if he banged into it and not understand that i want to know where he got hurt and im not a mind reader. Its frustrating, altho sometimes hel do fine and tell me but i dont know why he dosnt answer me or 'get it' when i ask him things. Hopefully someoen will give you some ideas that will help out Sometimes the "cloze" speech procedure can help. You say; "I want..._____" and wait to see if he will finish the statement or repeat it with whatever it is he desires. If that doesn't work after a few times, you can do "Mommy wants to go to Italy, but Donny wants to go to...________". If that doesn't work, you can add in ludicrous suggestions that will capture his attention, redirect him momentarily, and get him to answer. If Cole is asking repeatedly "but where's Daddy?" or he is saying,'no, I don't want to go to the candy store" (but he really does, he's putting words in my mouth and trying to talk himself into agreeing with me)....I will say: Gosh, where IS dad? Is he in Africa? Hmmmm, is Daddy in Antarctica? Could he be on the moon?....these ridiculous questions somehow redirect Cole, and he'll say "Dad's at the office! But he'll be home tonight." We had trouble getting him to accept we were taking him to soccer one day. Had taken the boys to the pool for lunch, then loaded up and headed to the soccer field. The day before, he had asked to go to the pool and I said "no, its going to rain." So, as we're driving to soccer, he's doing exactly what you said Donny was doing. Finally, Cole says "I think its going to rain. Yes, soccer's over - its going to rain. Let's go home now." We actually were impressed with his attempted manipulation. But did not give in. Then he asks, "do you want to go see the boats? Cmon, let's go see the boats. Soccer is over." There is a marina we sometimes drive through to look at the sailboats, but we hadn't done this in months. I just thought he was throwing out any idea he could come up with. My DH says - don't you get it? In order to get to the marina, we have to drive PAST OUR HOUSE! Cole was again manipulating us by thinking of a place on the other side of our house so he could lure us back home on the way to see the boats. This whole thing drives us nuts, just as it does you, but the mental gyrations they go through are kinda something to be admired. Cole doesn't tell us he's in pain, but he might say he is SOOO thirsty. Or sooo hungry. But then when you offer him a snack and drink, he is not interested. Good luck! I think all this is a positive sign for our kids. Go Donny! I think it can happen that when there is a lot of focus on compliancesome of the other good stuff, like kids expressing what they want, can decrease. I know Donny has a ton of stuff going on and you have to weigh which skills you need to reinforce most for him to be able to function. I think if you really would like him to access his frustrations a little more you might have to stir the pot. Well my boys speech is no where near enough to talk about feelings really, we are still working on 2-3 word phrases, so they aren't close to Donny's level, but I can tell you my ABA therapist's approach is. Nikolas does say hurts, but he uses that for anything negative. So instead of saying don't do that I don't like that (like washing his hair) he will say hurts. What the ABA/VBA therapist does is basically give him the answer. He models. We work almost exclusively on communication speech issues and he will say what Nikolas should say. ABA works on a no fail method (at least this therapist does, he says that they found that if you asked the question and they didn't have the answer it led to frustration, so the philosophy has changed and you ask the question and you give them the answer, and then you ask again) and so you start by giving him the answer, modeling what he should say, and then once he has the phrase down then you would say I want _____ and let him fill it in. But if he can't get it you give him the answer. So when I brush his hair and he says hurts I say no, no hurt, you don't like that, you say, I don't like that mommy. And I repeat I don't like that several times. THat really hasn't worked yet cause its a little more complex than what he can understand yet, but for much simpler things, like I want a cookie, it has worked and I'm sure it will click eventually for the like vs hurt thing. He use to pull me around the house for what he wants refusing to say it, even though I know he can, so I would say I want a cookie and once he repeats it he gets the cookie. Now I don't have to model anymore (not for the I want phrase that is, he has that down pretty good now). Then the therapist expands on it, using adjectives etc. The therapist does this approach with just about everything and I'm pretty sure his approach with Donny would be something similiar (or any older child with more complex speech than my boys, they are still in the 2 year old speech level). [QUOTE=Donny's mom] As Don's grown more verbal...... For example, yesterday, we were going to Staples, which is near the mall. Once upon a time, rather than being fairly compliant, but not using appropriate language, he would have been screeching "wrong way! I want Walmart!!!! Buy toys!" Ahh!!! Some of us have gone through this nightmare before... the nightmare of going to the mall with our ASD kid, pestering...demanding for a toy !!! We thought we could avoid the mall by NOT going out... BUT sometimes we have to... then the dilemma of explaining destination arises. On our part, we try to keep this unscheduled visits to places right till the last moment, hours before even. So even if we had to go to the mall, in this case, TESCO (with lots of toys inside), we would try to explain to our 8 yr old ASD that "Papa & Mama have to go to Tesco to buy some FOOD.... But toys (section) will be closed [at the same time gesturing with our index finger and thumb that it is shut]." Then we reinforce by repeating..., "So TESCO is open or close?" Then Daniel will say "Open" as he sees my finger opening. ... "BUT Toys are______ ?" And he'll say "Close" as he sees my fingers closing. "So we go to Tesco to buy what? To buy _______" .... Then he'll recall..."To buy FOOD." If he missed the purpose, then we repeat the last part... just to make sure that we make a trip to his toy vicinity but not to see his toys.... WHEW!!! With him being verbal helps a lot and his powers of reasoning are improving. Doing the cloze kind of questions/statements do help as mentioned by LeAnneC and Linda11567. I also liked the part LeAnneC talked about... "their mental gyrations are something to be admired"..... "all a POSITIVE SIGN" It's quite amazing at times when we try to decipher what they're trying to get at... especially in their "manipulative" talk... If only more people can try to understand them as we try to.... When my son was 4 or 5, I realized that whenever he got upset, I reacted by "interrogating" him. All my questions only added to the problem. It helped when I started reacting by saying "I see you're [frustrated, angry, sad, etc.]" and maybe suggesting "Do you need a hug?" He would then be more responsive to discussing the situation (with or without questions). Surprisingly enough, in my son's case, it turned out that feeling understood was more important than getting his own way, at least most of the time. Good luck with everything. I hope he's back to his old level of communicating soon. thanks for the feedback guys. What LeanneC was describing is actuallyexactly what I do - it's just not working anymore in situations that involve ANY stress for him whatsoever. We also do what boobear suggested, with not only laying out destination, but purpose, and checking that he's understood. I think I might try modeling as Linda suggested. It's exactly how we taught Donny to talk, through lots and lots (and LOTS) of modelling, prompting, visuals, and reinforcement. Basically an unofficial ABA program. The reason I haven't used modelling in this situation is fear of causing confusion. For example, I worry that by giving him the right words to say "I want WalMart", I'll be misleading him into thinking that means we're going to WalMart. And really, there's nothing reinforcing for him in using the right language, since, at this point, I'm not going to take him to WalMart just because he's asked for it appropriately. In fact, I think that's what's caused the decrease in appropriate language here - when he was first talking, if he asked for something with words, he got it, period. It made talking reinforcing for him. However, once he'd mastered it, it was no longer such a big deal for him to ask for something, so, if it wasn't the appropriate time/place, we'd say "good words, but..." oooooh, I just had a brilliant idea! What do you think of keeping a little store of small candies in the car, and using those to reward him when we go through the modeling and he responds correctly? that way, I'm still reinforcing him for expressing himself, but not giving in? A way for him to learn that just because he says something, doesn't make it true?The candy reinforcer is a great idea! That is a thought as to why he is no longer asking, cause he knows he can't have what he wants. I have just started running into that problem. Up until recently they got anything they asked for cause they never asked, but now they are very good at saying I want McDonalds that is right around the corner, and we can't go to McDonalds every day. So I praise them for asking and then tell them no and of course a meltdown follows. The candy reinforcers sounds like a better idea. I think I'll ask the ABA therapist what he thinks too. [QUOTE=Donny's mom] This is the same problem I have with my son, just at a more basic level. I know what he is trying to say and no I am not going to give it to him. So, when I model what he is trying to say he thinks that means I will give him whatever it is. We use the errorless teaching method that Linda was descibing as well. And, I do think that is a wonderful idea to reward him with candies in the car for expressing himself appropriately. |
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