I was soo embarrased | Autism PDD

I was embarrased becuase quinn said that he wished the present that they gave him was an action figure instead of what he got...........I even had a talk with him last night about manners(I knew they would be bringing him a birthday present) and how you say to the person "Thank you this is nice" even if you don't really care for the present........We hardly ever see these relatives so that's it was all the more embarrasing

Sounds pretty normal for one of our kids. My son has embarrassed me so many times I have lost count. And in a really big way, remind me to tell you about the time he embarrassed me in the hairdressers ... well that's another story LOL.

Unfortunately their ability to censor is pretty well not there. Even though you told him what you wanted him to say his impulse when he saw the present would have taken over. Sometimes even though we tell them stuff it doesn't sink in, but if it is presented in a social story they can get it. I also remind my son of what he is supposed to do just before the event because if I do it too long before he forgets. The problem is I can't always anticipate what he is going to do so I still get embarrassed by him.

We pray that they will talk and when they do we pray they would be quiet.

Hopefully if you explain to your cousin that this is something you are working on right now and it is part of his disability, then she will understand. I do understand how you feel and it can be frustrating because you did all the right things to ensure he did the right thing. However give your son a break because I'm sure he didn't do it to upset you, it is truly part of his problem.

Well at least we understand that you have done the right thing and I hope your cousin does too.

Here's to a better day tomorrow.
Don't feel bad Angela....maybe your cousin understood (?) where he's coming from? I'm sure we've all had our moments we'd rather forget! My ds didn't understand presents until a couple years ago, and we'd gotten 'good manners' down...well, he recieved a present on his birthday, looked at it, made a face, and gave it back, saying "No!! ....Thank You"....at least he used his manners!!

I have blown up more times than I can count at my son (now 16) for his bad behavior. You love your children, but sometimes they can get us on the brink of exploding into human confetti. Not to mention having been embarrased by him....lately it has been his choice of clothing, big pants w/chains *urg*...anyhow it is equal, by his account, I embarras him all the time too. My 16yr old son is ADHD and MAD most of the time. (:

You did the right thing havig him applogize, after some time has settled you may want to re-talk this with your son to confirm how and why he behaved the way he did and reassure him of your love.

mary

I just wanted to curl up and die this morning. I had my cousin and her 2 kids over today....they brought him a nice present and he was very rude........I immediately sent him to his room.......I was soooo mad.............I then gave myself a chance to calm down before going in to talk to him..........i then made him apologize to my cousin and then sent him back to his room.........I am so mad at him....Thank you for letting me vent

Angela

I am sure that the family understands that one of the really big hurdles for our children is social skills. ANy child has trouble being kind, pleasent, understyanding, handling disappointment well, but it a real challange for a spectrum child.

I am sure she understands! DOnt be too hard on yourself or him. It sounds as if he has a lot of nice reasoning abilities!

Happy belated birthday to him :)

Angela,

I agree with the rest of the ladies, don't be hard on your son or yourself. That's what kids do with or without autism, they embarrass us from time to time.

When I first read your message I started thinking that he did exactly what many of us REALLY want to do

. I remember at my farewell party at my old job in front of about 30 people a lady gave me a gift. I was excited opening it and when I pulled it
out it was this funny looking bird sitting on an egg. I'm sure my face looked like this

for a second, then of course I thanked her for the lovely gift. The funny thing
was everyone else in the room had the same expression I did

. I remember saying thank you, but thinking what in the world she could have given me a coupon to McDonalds

at least he opened it half the time jack won't even do that lol

i understand where your coming from though and hopefully your cousin will understand.It takes time for all kids to get manners Dan our eldest was terrible we used to dread birthdays and christmas but he got there in the end.Thing with kids with ASD is there just too dam honest i have a friend with a 14 year old girl with ASD and she has been known to tell complete strangers that they look awful or there hair is a mess etc like i say there just honest and it must be soooooooo hard for them to understand why they can't say those things since most ASD kids have little or no awareness of others feelings.You were right to make him say sorry though.

Dee

Thank you all for responding ......I feel much better about it today.......I think I'm extremely sensititve to what people think because I grew up with a younger brother who had ADHD and was extremely hyper and everyone in the family had an opinion....It didn't bother my parents much but I took it personal........I am so worried that quinn will be compared to my brother.

Angela

I think I'm also too concerned that my extended family doesn't understand........I need to work on not taking it sooo personal.

horanimals - Quinn did the same thing once by saying No "Thanks to a gift"

Luvzmyboys - lol @ the funny looking bird sitting on an egg gift....you're right I'm sure I have gotten gifts that I look at and think what is it and why did this person give it to me....lol

Thank you all again ......you all made me feel better