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How do you cope with your child’s anxiety

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Joe has been having a real hard time, he is mainstreamed this year with no aide (Kindergarden)and he was doing great till a few weeks ago when I was 10 mins late picking him up. Since then he cries all the time in school and his teachers are getting frutrated because none of us know how to comfort him. I am so sad to see him sufferring this way and he is trying so hard to keep himself together. He loves going to school and ends up sitting there crying quietly all day. The assisatant teacher says he breaks her heart because he tries to be as quiet as possible so no one notices.

I have tried to rationalize his fear but he is "stuck". He is perseverating on the fear I feel. I even think he is aware that his fear of not finding me ( at least I think that's what it is) is irrational but he is simply stuck. I am now feeling like he is sufferring from anxiety. He asks me a hundren times when I am picking him up. He cries as soon as he wakes up to go to school. After we get home he is fine. The counsellor has said that this is "very disruptive" to the rest of the class.

Can anyone share with me if ther kids suffer from anxiety? What can be done?

Thank you for reading all this

Joe'smom39376.0087384259Maybe if you tell him a story, even a social story about being late.  Sometimes for a quick social story we take pictures of ds and glue them on construction paper and write it out.  We make it short, sometimes only 4 pages.  It helps my son so much.  It might help him see the steps of being somewhere, waiting for  you and Maybe a funny picture of you driving your car (stuck in traffic or whatever reason for running late) with a funny look on your face.  Then you picking him up.  Sometimes we just draw these storied and ds helps us color them.  For ds anxiety always comes from not knowing what will come next so maybe seeing it all in pictures will help.I agree. A visual schedule of his school day with a picture of you at the end.  Go home with mom.  Could help.  Give him something of yours to keep with him at school.  Something he can keep in his pocket to touch when he feels scared or worried. My son had an eposode on Friday where he started to cry quietly before
school and told me that he did not want to go today and he wanted to be
absent. He told me that he was too scared and too sad to go to school
because it was picture day. He even told me that he would go to the
doctors instead of going to school. Well he did have to go to school and
we went straight to the the principals office (My son is in Kindy this year
and he loves the principal at his little neighborhood school) She sat him
down and said, we are getting through this together and took him to get
his picture taken. She put him in front of the line he got his picture taken
and he was fine. His Kindy teacher was also kind and had a little talk with
the class to say it was all right to get scared of getting your picture taken
and one of his classmates agreed that she indeed disliked getting her
picture taken too.
His day was great after that.

I am still at a loss about where and how this fear came from. Thank
goodness picure day is once a year. Our kids just get stuck at times and
they can not move forward. I think my child was treated with alot of
compassion by everone. He was able to articulate his fears and that
helped us to be able to deal with it.

I think your little guy is stuck in the moment of panic when you were not
there and that is what he thinks about. Is he able to verbalize his feelings
at all? Can they do a positive reinforcement schedule, lets say for every
ten minutes he does not cry, he gets a highly prefered item? than
increasing the interval as he gets better. Does he have any other anxiety
issues? My heart gows out to you and your little guy!

 

"I think your little guy is stuck in the moment of panic when you were not
there and that is what he thinks about."

Yes! that is exactly what I feel is happening!

 

Thank you all, those are really good concrete ideas.  I will try them asap, he will probably love the social story.

Is there a way you can meet him at school for lunch?  Our school lets parents come eat lunch with the kids, like a lunch date, but asks us to limit it to once per week.  I NEVER do this, as I think it will give my son a "mommy jones".

However, if you use that visual schedule the others have suggested (VERY good idea) and a social story, perhaps you could put on Friday's lunch that mom will come, then return at 3:30.

Does he have a digital watch, where you could set the timer to go beep-beep daily around 15 minutes before pick up time?  My telephone plays the theme to Indiana Jones everyday at 3PM & when Jack is with me, he hears it go off.  I'll say - "oh, excuse me - I need to run over to preschool to pick up my little boy Jack.  Need to run now!"  Jack cracks up laughing and says MOM!  I AM Jack!  See?  And I'll do some silly thing like, gosh, how'd you get home so fast?

For Cole, the phone alarm plays a cow mooing like in the movie Cars, where the giant combine named Frank chases them through a field.  Cole loves that scene.  When HIS alarm goes off on the weekends, I say the same thing about going out to the bus bench to wait on my sweet boy Cole.  Cracks him up.

Could you get him a cheapie watch and/or set an alarm on your cell phone?  I think it reassures my sons to hear their own special alarm go off every day and to know mom's coming.

Good luck!  Kindergarten is NOTORIOUS as a time for night terrors, seemingly foundless anxieties, etc and that is for NT kids!  I ended up sleeping in Cole's bed for 8 months last year.  We had two months solid where he panicked upon my trying to leave his room, constant night awakenings, etc.

Kindergarten sucks regarding this emotional development, but I PROMISE you, it gets better.

Try the alarms...can't hurt!

Joe'smom, I just watch a piece on anxiety by an Autism expert. Please check it out . I found it to be very interesting.

http://youtube.com/watch?v=Sy66eWQ9W4E

Anxiety piece is on part 4, but all of them were good.

Thank you so much :) The  watch is a good idea too, and I am off to watch the youtube thing ,

Thank you all

 
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