Am I being unreasonable? | Autism PDD

Melissa, can I borrow you, your school social worker and your special ed supervisor for about a week to knock some sense into people here?

Seriously, I'm still getting nowhere. The last email I got from her on Saturday was that she was going to talk to the autism resource team lady again and that she would just put down 15 min. per week in the IEP, actually here is the email

I think I will put in 15 minutes weekly to begin with
on social skills. I will email ***** again and
see what she thinks. I also bought a book on social
skills. I think starting slow will get us farther.

Soooo, we are going to decide the time limit (which is a lame time limit anyway) before we decide what we're going to do. Shouldn't we decide what we're going to do and THEN get the time from there? UGH!!!!!

I copied all of our email correspondence into a word doc and emailed it to the Psychologist that we recently started seeing to get some educational testing done. I got some perspective from her (since they seem so hell bent on this group lunch thing) and tried again emailing the sp ed teacher with

If we could implement the group once a week on Wednesdays during lunch as you suggested could we also implement a time for Zach and another peer to work together with the social worker or psychologist. Then he would have 2 facilitated opportunities a week, once with another peer and once with a group. The goals that are set up could be worked on in both settings and shared with the gen. ed teachers (for generalizing in the classrooms) so that everyone is on the same page each step of the way.

Let me know what you think about this.

I swear to God above, if she comes back and repeats something that she already has said 10 times I'm going to blow.

Thanks Melissa. It sounds like you have a great situation and staff for Jesse there, that is wonderful! No, unfortunately we're not in Michigan lol.

Still waiting for a response to my last email btw. The thing is I know she cares, most everyone does, it's just the lack of knowledge and inability to think outside the box that makes me crazy. Dealing with kids on the spectrum requires being able to think outside the box.

Oh my (((Hugs)))

I just wanted to let you know I read this and if there was a way I could help I would...are you in Michigan. lol

Um...I have to dig up Jesse's IEP from last Spring and I will PM you or post here the wording we have set for him. I think its a range so that she can break it up according to Jesse's needs week to week. I think the group is 60 or maybe 45 minutes each week and then that gives her a leeway should Jesse have the need to meet with her alone. Many times I have had to call her and let her know that Jesse has had a tense weekend or a tense morning and that it might affect him at school. She then goes and checks on him and pulls him for a free time with her. He also knows that if he needs to go and see her he can without getting in trouble. If he is getting stressed like he is going to have a melt down then the teacher he is with has a special Hall pass for him to go to see Pat. We also got a room set up last year for kids who need to regroup...its a comfort room with pillows, soft lighting and soothing colors. Its the one place Jesse can go to just to get away from the overload of the senses from the classroom.

oops got off track.. Anyways I will look for it in the morning once the kids go off to school and will get back to you. I hope it helps in the wording anyways and I will include her goals that she set up for Jesse. Again, it depends on where you child is but the wording might help to guide them.

Try not to get too frustrated..
I would hate for you to give someone at the schoo a

Ongoing social skills issue in the IEP. This is what I want to happen:

Direct, trained instruction with Zach and a peer to address theory of mind, reciprocal conversation, etc.

Then move to direct, trained instruction with Zach and a small group (2-3 other peers)

Then work on generalizing what he is learning into the classroom environment.

Is this unreasonable to ask for? I feel like I'm hitting my head against a brick wall, they keep coming back with "Do you want to do the lunch time group or just have us monitor things as they come up, or give Zach a peer interaction instruction to fulfill?"

What is it about what I'm asking for that seems so difficult to grasp? Can someone see something unreasonable that I'm not seeing?

It is because they do not know how to implement it. It really depends on
what level your child is at because they may have to teach these skills to him
individually before your child can generalize with others. Ask for a BCBA to
write specific programs and targets and ask for paraprofessionals to help
implement it. The same paraprofessional should be able to take date to so
you can tract how your child is doing.

I really think what you're suggesting makes sense, starting with a peer and working up to a small group in a structured setting and then finally to the natural environment.

I'm facing a similar problem getting social skills training started here. No one working with my son has experience with autism. They've had an easier time getting a handle on teaching him academics, because that's what they're trained for. Social skills is really uncharted territory for them (and for most teachers EVERYWHERE. Even those with training and proper social skills programs don't always get results).

My son's school has dabbled in social stories, but mostly it's been his assistant supporting him to the best of her ability in social skills. Sometimes he has done simple cooking/baking/food prep (alone or in a group) and then eaten with some classmates and played board games with them. But we see the best interaction when he is allowed to bring a toy from home that the other kids are interested in (he's 9).

The potential stumbling blocks I see for my school, your school and most schools are:

1) The school doesn't know where to get training, and don't prioritize figuring it out.

Do you know where the school can send instructors for training in social skills education? If you can provide them with specifics, then at least you don't have to wait for them to "get around to" researching this themselves. The "Find an expert" collection of links might help you track something down, if nothing else through the local autism society.

http://www.autism-pdd.net/forum/search.asp?KW=expert&SM= 1&SI=TC&FM=0&OB=1

2) The teachers feel out of their depth and skirt the issue so they don't lose face.

Did you use the term "theory of mind" with them? If they don't know what it means, they might not want to admit it and react by avoiding the issue. A list of social skills goals in plain English might help. Did you find any good possibilities in the IEP goal resource links?

http://www.autism-pdd.net/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=16265&am p;KW=goal&PN=0&TPN=2

3) The teachers have an old-fashioned notion of what school is about - academics, period.

They may be focused on the lunch option because they do not want to cut into academics. Unfortunately, there are some hard choices to be made, and these are especially hard when the child can keep up academically. On the one hand, you want him to learn what everyone else is learning. But on the other hand, you know that your child is not going to lose a future job because he didn't learn the 6th grade social studies curriculum. But there's a strong possibility that he'll lose a job or hate a job because of difficulties with conflict resolution, or even difficulties making small talk during coffee breaks.

It may very well be that using the lunch break for social training is appropriate, provided that the time is used wisely. Have you seen the online social skills curriculum for middle school yet?

http://www.cccoe.net/social/skillslist.htm

4) They don't take time to read up on it.

A video might give inspiration. Here is a short video clip that shows Jed Baker at work in his classroom. Boy, I wish my son could attend a class like this!

http://abcnews.go.com/Video/playerIndex?id=3009687

www.modelmekids.com has DVDs with social skills for older kids.

Good luck with everything!

That is so sad. I know that it happens because I have been in school districts like that. My goal is to turn it around at our district and I have the support of our Spec. Ed Supervisor who also happens to be our Upper Elementary principle. We have a lot of things we want to tackle but one for certain is to put together a directory of Special Ed. parents and listing what the label is so people can maybe connect. Our first goal is to get parents to participate in the directory as well as a meeting every month or even every 2 months.

I just want to get rid of that stereo type of kids in Special Ed. Having a Spec. needs child is nothing that has to be hidden or ashamed of...we should be coming together to support each other and be a presence in the Special Education system of our schools. When Parents get involved the overall program improves. If I hadn't advocated for Jesse our current school wouldn't have thought about trying it "my" way. I insisted they use a daily planner for my ADHD when he entered 6th grade, I wanted it in the middle of 5th grade but the teacher refused to use it even though I supplied it. We had the IEP to plan for the following year and I brought it up yet again..this time I had the Spec. Ed. Supervisor there monitoring the meeting and she along with the whole team supported me...except that 1 teacher. Now they use a planner for ALL kids in our Upper Elementary as well as Middle School. It just takes standing up and being a voice and things can improve.
Shelly...does your county have a Special Education Director?
Your school should also have a Spec. Ed supervisor. Something you might consider if your county doesn't have one is forming a Parent Advisory committee. The people who run it are the parents...the Supervisor for each school district recruit parents to represent the school at this county level meeting and every month one Supervisor attends to give a report on how their program is going and what might be new when it comes to ideas implemented. We also tour different school districts to see them in action and make sure that each school knows there is a presence of parents who really care and will advocate for all kids with Special Needs.

I was stunned to find out that our school hasn't had anyone willing to do this and every time I attend an IEP they thank me for coming...as if it was a treat for them. They said that participation on the parent level at the IEP's are VERY low. How sad!
I hope to change that by getting more involved.

Our school has Counselors, Psychologist and a Social worker. We are really lucky...our school district is not a rich one either we just happen to have people in place that see the importance and willing to allocate the funds to have this as a resource in our school.
Melissa39377.4300231481

I emailed the counselor last year and found out she is only at our dd school 2x a week and had never heard of a s/skills group or class..the problem with getting a class together here would be knowing which kids will benefit from it because the school is very hush about telling me if other kids my dd age are on the spectrum~as far as I know she is the only one in first grade with it.

We were lucky that our BCBA had a playgroup with nt kids 2x a week~5 hours...we did this for over 2 years but she just wasnt generalizing it to the kids at school or in the environment.

We had it written very similar to what you suggest. I asked the School social worker how many kids in the Upper Elementary level have the PDD-NOS or Autism label and suggested she select a few from that group of kids based on where they were in Social ability to form a Peer Group. She took that idea and ran with it, she now has 4 groups going. Jesse's group is a High functioning or with kids who could easily have the label but fall short of getting it...they meet every Tuesday afternoon. THEY LOVE IT!! He has really blossomed in his ability to interact and have meaningful exchanges with other people. She starts the group with having the kids answer a question like "how was your weekend" or "what did you have for Breakfast" They also play a game or read a story that is appropriate with the lesson she wants to work on with them and then they close with asking everyone to share something good about their day.

It shouldn't be that hard for them to implement it but it sounds like they don't know how to even start. Jesse's IEP has it written for Social Work time I think she has it written for 60-80 minutes a week and the specific goals that she will work on one on one and in thru Peer group. The group consists of 4 kids including Jesse and if the rest of the group are home sick then she just has Jesse and they sit and talk and build Lego's together.

I would love our school to implement a program for my dd to get social skills..they looked at me like I had a 3rd eye when I asked them if they had a class for social skills!

All I could do was send each of the teachers a list of how to help my child engage and express herself more but no way I could track them doing it. Never even heard of the school having a social worker?

I really need to be more of an advocate in this area at school!