PLEASE HELP...tween dtr | Autism PDD

My dtr Savannah turned 12 the end of July and i am going crazy!! Between the PDD-NOS & puberty there's no sanity in our home!

She has trouble with friends, mostly keeping them. I know at this age that girls are hot and cold. One day friends the next enemies, right? That's what i can recall but with Savannah it seems extremely exagerated! What do i do? It's causing problems at school as well. Savannah should be on the professional poker tour cause the girl can lie so well you end up wondering if you're the one who made the whole story up! So the teacher hears things about Sav using cuss words or giving someone the bird on the playground, which is something she would NEVER even dream of doing at home. The teacher confronts her after a few girls come to tell him what she's done and he doesn't know who to believe because she's adimant she didn't!!!

She is currently on a low dose of trileptal as well as dexedrine and that's it. She's been on many different meds over the past 6 or so years and i am just spinning right now with what to do.

Any suggestions? Please????

I would sit down and have a serious disscusion with her. You jave to be careful not to accuse her of anything. You just needto get to the core of what is really bugging her. That's what I would do.I have an nt/daughter who just turned 14 and the middle school years are
very socially challanging for girls. Yes it does seem like one moment they
are friends and then they are not. What helps with my daughter is that
she does have activities that she participates at school. She is in the track
team and chorus. Her freinds are mainly from that group. They have a
lot of things in common, they also need to get along as they will have to
rehearse together or go to track meets together. Outside of school her
friends are from her swim team, they swim 5-6 days a week. These
activites keep my daughter out of the social strife that goes on at school.

How are your daughters social skills to begin with? How is she a reading
a persons intent? If she is even mildly affected in this area, she is not
playing in a level playing field where a lot of nt/girls are concerned. She
may benefit from a mentoring program from a girl who is slightly older.
She may need good behavior modeled to her. Our middle school starts in 6th grade (6th,7th,8th) Please be careful where
you put her next year. Does she have friends at the barn where she rides?
You need to see if there are any support groups with Aspie girls in your
area. They will be a good resource interms of social skill interventions.
Unfortunately in a lot of instances very high functioning kids are left on the
wayside. As for mentoring, look for a high school girl who is college bound
who is is both solid and compassionate. She will be like a good big sister to
start a dialog of whats appropriate and what is not. She may also facilitate
social interactions between your daughter and a friend. Look for a therapist
who works with Aspies as well. I am sure that others on this board will have
advice as well. Hang in there.

Kathy - you bring up a good point because, no, she doesn't read intent well at all. She takes things very literal and has just, within this last year, been able to laugh at herself. I will have to look into some kind of mentoring program. I am struggling to find a doctor right now who i feel understands this age, so i'm feeling left out in the wind! She isn't involved in school activities since she's in 6th grade, elementary school. They don't have track and the other programs like JH will have. She is riding horses after school which is helpful but right now she is all about playing with friends and i guess i don't know if it is more that she just can't seem to fit in so she gets angry and mean or if others are actually being mean to her??? She is high functioning and so looking at her you would never thingk she had a disability and even after telling people, i'm often doubted. So she fits right in unless you really know her or talk to her for a bit. It's really hitting right now more than ever with the peers i think where before in school no one's ever thought of her as different. I'm so exhausted and feel like there's no help out there!!

You are not alone. Even in our area, the very high functioning kids do not
get the help they need. Couple of the Moms here are a wiz at links to parent
support groups and other groups. My best bet is another parent in your
area who has similiar experiences for advice on therapists and other
resources. You may want to start another thread on asperger resources or
support groups and see if some more info may come up. Hang in there!Thanks Kathy!!

Thanks for the advice Kathy!

I am trying to find a therapist in the area but i'm not having a ton of success because Sav is covered by medicaid so we don't get the best care that way. I've been looking for resources in our area with little success but will keep trying. There is so much more help, at least in our area, for young kids, early intervention kind of help. Where were they when Sav was younger?? LOL back then i could barely get a doc to agree that something wasn't right!

Welcome to the forum. Here's a link to social skills lessons for middle school students. One of them is about maintaining friendships, and I'm sure there are many others that would be helpful to your daughter.

http://www.cccoe.net/social/skillslist.htm

Just in case you're interested, here's a link to my collection of puberty resources, about sexuality/physical maturation, etc.

http://www.autism-pdd.net/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=16099&am p;KW=puberty+resources

Good luck with everything.