Help please

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	Heya.  I am a struggling parent of a 4 yr old autistic daughter.  She's very cute and sweet, but most often she's very defiant and it's very hard to get her to do anything without a freakout.  If you tell her not to do something she'll look you in the eyes and you feel like she understands, but it seems she doesn't care and will continue to do it anyway.  If she does actually stop what she's doing, she'll pick it up again later. Anyway, that's not even what I need the most help about.  She gets into her diaper and makes a huge mess nightly.  We thwarted her for awhile by putting her pajamas on backwards.  Then she'd just take them off or rub the poo up and down her back/front.  We started safety pinning her which worked for awhile but now she's figured out safety pins, too.  What can we do?  She won't go unless she's in her room...  which of course if we're not smelling every 2 mins means she's going to get into it.  She's obviously got some kind of need for the texture, but is there anything we can do to physicially, absolutely prevent her from getting into her diaper?  What do you guys do to battle this?  I tried searching for special pajamas for austistic kids but that didn't work out.  She's far too defiant to even attempt to potty train... This one issue alone is probably the hardest one on me.  My wife takes in stride much better than I do. Thanks for any help you guys can profer. Have you tried the zip up one piece pajamas, and putting them on backwards?  Or is that what you were using?  Maybe give her some play-do or shaving cream to play with through out the day to give her that sensory feeling she wants?  Just brainstorming. Sorry it's so rough...great place and I'm sure someone will be along shortly with help!  Hang in there and welcome to the board! My ds was taking his diaper off in the middle of the night for a while and we bought him a larger size onsie (4T), you know the one piece things the babies wear.  We would put his pants on first them put the onsie over it and button it over the pants.  Childrens Place sells larger onsies up to 5T I think.  It sounds like your dd is good at getting her clothes off but it may work for a while...  Maybe layer a few items so she gets tired and sleeps before she gets all the way in? [QUOTE=emerald_521]Have you tried the zip up one piece pajamas, and putting them on backwards?  Or is that what you were using?[/QUOTE] Ah yeah, I should have said.  That is what we're using.  We have to cut the feet out so they're on right so that's a "point of entry."  Same with the arms, they're all cut out since it gets so hot here in the south.  Guess we do need to buy new PJs anyway...  But at some point they probably stop making onesies for 15 yr olds, eh... [QUOTE=emerald_521]Maybe give her some play-do or shaving cream to play with through out the day to give her that sensory feeling she wants?  Just brainstorming.[/QUOTE] My wife does this from time to time, but I'm not sure how much of a help it is.  It's not whether she gets into her diaper, it's whether we catch it first.  And she's a smart and fast cuss, lemme tell you.  :) Thanks! [QUOTE=liamsmummy]My ds was taking his diaper off in the middle of the night for a while and we bought him a larger size onsie (4T), you know the one piece things the babies wear.  We would put his pants on first them put the onsie over it and button it over the pants.  Childrens Place sells larger onsies up to 5T I think.  It sounds like your dd is good at getting her clothes off but it may work for a while...  Maybe layer a few items so she gets tired and sleeps before she gets all the way in? [/QUOTE] Layers!  Now there's an idea!  Have to run that by DW tonight.  :) I'm thinking maybe pullups at times when you know she will be having bowel movement,  although she seems determined to get into the stuff no matter what you do  Just keep in mind that she will eventually grow out of this  Not that it helps you now but these type of issues to go away with time. Also i would keep working with the sensory issues,  it very well could be the texture.  Some textures you might want to try,  Playdough, silly puddy, goop, rice, beans, sand, sticky squishy balls, dried noodles, finger paint, shaving cream.  Also things you can put in a ziplock bag, hair gel, pudding, ice cream,  squeeze all the air out of bag and let her squish bag in her hands  ( with much supervision)    I heard that coffee grinds get rid of that sensory need. It is a mess, but far less than poo!   I also wanted to comment about her difiance. I know to you, a man (no offense), it looks like she is out right being a bratty kid. In reality, she is doing what works for her and her body. She probably thinks-this guy has no idea how sitting in that chair makes my body feel, I'd rather spin in circles. These kids can have a lot of sensory issues and I still don't fully comprehand that. I suggest looking into ABA therapy. It is the only way my son learned how to do anything. Then, those big annoyances become mostly extinct. I really reccomend that, and does she get OT? I used dry coffee grounds.  I put a tablespoon in a bowl and let him have fun with it.  The smell is overwhelming with poo, and with coffee it's pretty strong too.  That worked with him.  My youngest is more OCD about his hands being dirty.  There's no way he'd ever stick his hands down his diapers. [QUOTE=MiMom3]I heard that coffee grinds get rid of that sensory need. It is a mess, but far less than poo! I also wanted to comment about her difiance. I know to you, a man (no offense), it looks like she is out right being a bratty kid. In reality, she is doing what works for her and her body. She probably thinks-this guy has no idea how sitting in that chair makes my body feel, I'd rather spin in circles. These kids can have a lot of sensory issues and I still don't fully comprehand that. I suggest looking into ABA therapy. It is the only way my son learned how to do anything. Then, those big annoyances become mostly extinct. I really reccomend that, and does she get OT?[/QUOTE] She's not getting any OT anymore, and the ABA program in her school is failing miserably.  So much so that we pulled her out of the current school to go to another one (due to possible racial issues even...)  There's even a class action lawsuit against our school district for not administering ABA correctly...  We just heard about this so who knows.  Anyway, she's not in any proper ABA yet and we were hoping it would help.  We can't afford to get private ABA at the moment because it costs so much here and it's not covered by my insurance.  As much as we'd like to try... [QUOTE=opedog]Heya.  I am a struggling parent of a 4 yr old autistic daughter.  She's very cute and sweet, but most often she's very defiant and it's very hard to get her to do anything without a freakout.  If you tell her not to do something she'll look you in the eyes and you feel like she understands, but it seems she doesn't care and will continue to do it anyway.  If she does actually stop what she's doing, she'll pick it up again later. Anyway, that's not even what I need the most help about.  She gets into her diaper and makes a huge mess nightly.  We thwarted her for awhile by putting her pajamas on backwards.  Then she'd just take them off or rub the poo up and down her back/front.  We started safety pinning her which worked for awhile but now she's figured out safety pins, too.  What can we do?  She won't go unless she's in her room...  which of course if we're not smelling every 2 mins means she's going to get into it.  She's obviously got some kind of need for the texture, but is there anything we can do to physicially, absolutely prevent her from getting into her diaper?  What do you guys do to battle this?  I tried searching for special pajamas for austistic kids but that didn't work out.  She's far too defiant to even attempt to potty train... This one issue alone is probably the hardest one on me.  My wife takes in stride much better than I do. Thanks for any help you guys can profer. [/QUOTE] I had the same problem with my son who is 11 only he was also taking his diaper off during the day or just putting his hands back in it. Try this we put a leotard on him.  .  We put it on under his clothes and now no digging and it takes alot more effort to take off his clothes just to get to his diaper. It really has saved us.  It seems the poo is sensory for most kids so it helps if you can figure out if it is about the texture or the smell. I knew a kid who would rub it inside heating vents because that made the smell even 'better'. Not good. So if you could try out differnt strong (and safely bottled) smells or textures in combination with pants over leotards - it might help. The defiance: I remember when my ds was three and he was just starting to talk, he would listen to me laugh and do whatever. I would get so mad sometimes, I was convinced that it was 'on purpose'. Only later it came clear to me that he could talk much better than he could understand language. Even now he sometimes clearly does not comprehend a word that he uses in the right way himself. It is like he hears it, he recognises it but his brain can not pull up it's meaning. I am not sure what is going on with your ds but language comprehension is a very common problem with autism.Hi, and thanks for all the suggestions! I'm " Opedog's" wife and I'm very pleased with him for finding such an awesome forum. Tonight before we put Keira ( our wonder girl ) to bed I made up a coffee play dough concoction to see if it wouldn't help with the smell and the sensory need. I'll be searching online for leotards for her tomorrow. I only hope at some point we'll be able to potty train her, but if that day never comes just keeping it in the pants will be good enough for me. Thanks again! Its funny you all mentioned coffee grounds,  We have a ritual here every morning when i make coffee,  Timmy waits for me to open the container so he can smell the coffee grounds.  Oh and,  did you know if you spill coffee grounds on the floor and vacuum them up it fills the room with the smell of coffee ???? Here's a topic on our forum where someone suggested using duct tape as a "super hero belt" to prevent diaper diving.  Other tips, too: http://www.autism-pdd.net/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=17405&am p;KW=diaper+diving If you use the search button on the top of this page, you can search for "fecal smearing" or "diaper diving" and find more tips.  This is a topic that comes up regularly, and you definitely aren't the only one dealing with it.
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