I was told this day would come, but didn't believe it. Daniel is 80% potty trained at home (the other 20% being bed time). He pee-pee's and poo-poo's in the potty. Asks very well to go potty when he needs to. Everything is good with it.
Well, he's still been having accidents at school. I'm not sure what the issue is, but he comes home in different pants and underwear maybe once a month. Today he came home in a different pair. In his communication book, this was wrote:
"He did poop his pants right after he sat on the toilet. He urinated in the toilet wa finished then pooped in his pants. I was wondering if you have rubber pants or training pants and rubber pants so that the germs would be more contained. Either that or have him wear pull-ups. He is definitely urine trained, but not poop-trained here at school."
To me, this sounds like they didn't give him enough time on the potty. He doesn't poop in his pants at home. He takes a long time on the potty getting to the point to poop, but he does do it on his own. I don't want to send him in pull-ups to school as I think this tells him it's okay to poop in his pants (and possibly pee as well). We never did rubber or training pants so we don't have any of those to send him in. I seriously don't want to go out and buy them just for school when he has done so well training at home.
We have an IEP meeting coming up in 2 weeks, so I thought we should include it in his IEP goals. I also have no idea if they're even trying to keep him trained or just want something that's easy so they don't have to worry about it. Ideas? Suggestions?
That is great news! I was wondering, before he was potty trained did it bother him that he had pee or poo in his diaper and did he ever tell you that he did or that he wanted his diaper changed. Abby does not seem to be bothered that she has pee or poo in her diaper. She has gone on the potty a few times, but she has never come up to tell us that she has to go or that she has to be changed.
Well, how long does he take to poop at home? If it's like 5 minutes, that's one thing - but if it's like 20 minutes, that's a whole other thing. I would assume that a para or teacher is taking him and honestly, I would think they can't be away from the class for 20 minutes. I would bring it up as a goal for the IEP as this is something that could interfere with his education (and thus be appropriate for an IEP).
I think it's awesome that he is just 3 1/2 and already almost trained! My ds (who has very mild PDD-NOS) wasn't trained until he was almost 4 and I believe the average age for all kids on the spectrum is between 5 and 6 (that includes the whole spectrum, so kids who are on the severe end may skew that data a bit).
I think that if rubber pants are something he needs only for school, then maybe that should be something purchased by the school - not sure on the laws on that. I wouldn't want to go out and buy something either! And I wouldn't put him in Pull-ups if you can help it. I think that will confuse him. They need to do what is appropriate for him and not do things that are going to cause setbacks.
Perhaps they need an additional para in the classroom for a short time?
Oh.. It's no where near 20 minutes. But when I visited the classroom, he had to go urinate. After like 30 seconds on the potty, they were ready to get him back up even though he hadn't pee'd yet. Since I was there, I took over and let them go back to the classroom. That's my only point of reference, but if that happened when I was there, how quickly are they trying to get him to go when I'm NOT there?Gotcha. I think they need to be made aware of the issue and it needs to be discussed - sooner rather than later. This is an awesome accomplishment and they need to be HELPING with that as opposed to making it worse!
For goodness' sake, my son's mainstream preschool helped him more than that with potty training! Even though he didn't train until the end of the school year. But, they asked him and even took him to go and waited with him (outside of the bathroom so they could still see the classroom).
I am assuming this is an ECSE classroom or at the very least a preschool with kids with special needs. Have they NEVER gone through potty training before - I mean COME ON!
Wow,,,three adults in the room w/5...that's awesome...I would think that they would work on this ,even if it wasn't in the IEP...I worked for years at a child care center for "nt" children, and even they worked on potty training. I agree with snoopywoman because my previous work was mainstream, and we worked all the time on potty training. Sometimes even up to age 4 1/2!...
By son was 4 when he was completely trained, but I was lucky that I worked where he went to preschool. They would call me to help when he had to go.
Best of luck to you!
I know all about the potty thing also Daniel finshed at 3 and 1/2. At school all the kids had potty times a lot. This was a private preschool though. We had to put him in the younger class until he finished training at school. Part of the problem with Daniel was he is short and couldn't even reach the potty with potty help.He also had balance problems also then.
It sounds to me like you have a lazy and/or squeamish teacher who's trying to blow a once-a-month glitch all out of proportion. The issue should not be about germ containment, unless he's doing fecal smearing or always has runny poops, or if they don't have a changing table with wipes, gloves, and whatever else they need. The real issue should be about prevention.
I think you need some information about how his bowel habits at school (my kids almost never poop at school). If your son regularly poops in the toilet at school, what goes wrong on the days when he has accidents and what can be done to prevent it? If he rarely or never poops in the toilet at school, why not? Does he need a seat insert, more time, or maybe help communicating his urge in that setting? Does he not sense the urge soon enough in a busy environment? etc.
Good luck with everything.
I would also ask them what time of day does your son ask to go?
Well, if it's not in the IEP - you aren't going to be able to hold them to it.
In addition, in Minnesota there is some kind of rule about diapers/potty training for ECFE and pre-school. At least it is interpreted as such in several suburbs (like here). In our old town, either they didn't follow this rule or they interpreted it differently. Anyway, the rule appears to be that in ECFE (don't confuse this with ECSE - ECFE is for all families) they are not to change diapers or help wipe. This seems completely ridiculous to me, because obviously day cares have to do this! But, there are some pre-schools here (like the one my daughter goes to) where your child has to be fully potty-trained and has to be able to completely wipe by themselves or they won't take them. I am SOOOO thankful that we still lived in our old town when ds was potty-training and that he got the attention and care that he did. My dd was potty-trained before school, but she just holds it the whole time and either goes with me before or after school (it's only 2 hours).
I think the school is either being lazy or I don't know what! At Head Start (I used to work there) we always had one or two kids who weren't potty trained before school started. You just wear gloves if you need to change them or help them wipe! That prevents "germs" from spreading. And you of course, wash your hands!
Is the bathroom in the classroom? That was really helpful for my son's Head Start classrom. That way if one of the assistants needed to be gone to help a child, she could still hear what was going on. Although, that class was for older kids and all were potty trained - but it was also nice to have it right there for kids to use whenever they needed (and a good visual reminder). But at ECSE, the bathrooms were WAY far away (this made no sense to me). It took us all last year to finally get ds to go potty at school. Otherwise he held it the whole time (about 3 1/2 hours including the bus ride).
I hope you get this worked out - they really should be working with you on this! This cannot possibly be the first time they have had a child who is potty training!