If you son were perfectly, boringly NT, you would probably still feel a bit of this angst. Some of this might be YOU, not HIM...and that's not a bad thing!
When Cole started preK, we had no idea he was on the spectrum and I worried about him, had this urge to put a camera in the room so I could watch him every moment of the day. I felt like they couldn't get through to him like I could, and that he would pine for home, and pine for me.
I think this is a natural and healthy withdrawal feeling most mommies have. So you are fine! And he will be too!
But we have to let them grow up, and climb out of the cocoon. His world as a teenager one day will be vastly changing, exciting, and full of adventure. He starts - as all kids do - that first step toward independence while he still seems so little.
He will probably surprise you in so many ways this upcoming year! Our kids get better and better every year, and are capable of so very much. Mega hugs to you, but just try to take a deep breath and tell him to have a GREAT time at school! And he will.
BIG HUG. Pre school is hard. I felt like it wasn't fair my 3 year old had to ride the bus and eat lunch somewhere else. I felt robbed. Hang in there.
Take time to be sad. It's ok, and healthier than holding it in!
I have found that it's a roller coaster. We don't just get sad over it for a tiem and then be ok forever. I got hopeful, I get sad, I get strong, I get mad, I get peace, I get sad. On and on. over and over. Ugh.
My favorite quote: the days are long but the years are short.
Reminds me to get through 'this' day.
Your little boy will need a week or two to adjust to the routine of school. After that, it will be good for him! He will benefit so much.
I am starting to lose it a little. I try very hard to be as positive and upbeat as I possibly can about my son, but lately, it's been very hard.
He starts pre-school on Monday, and that doesn't help. I am so incredibly anxious about it, and I'm grateful that it's only about three hours a day. I am really worried about how he's going to handle this. Our routine around the house is very predictable, so he has no trouble transitioning, because things almost never change. When they do, yeah, it gets ugly. I can only imagine what it's going to be like, transitioning so many times in just a few hours!
I also looked over his MDT assessment, and it was really depressing to realize just how little progress he's made, though admittedly, it's only been five months. Most of the strides he's made are really due to him being on Risperdal for his aggression. He focuses a little better, and he's not as hyper since he sleeps better at night. And he makes better eye contact with family now, too, and attempts to engage with us. This is all great, really it is!
But the language still isn't happening, and he's not taking to PECS or signing very well. I am hoping the school will have more success there. I think he sees me as "Mom" and not as a teacher, kwim?
Anyway, everywhere we go, even though he's very well behaved for the most part because they are familiar places or have ceiling fans that fascinate him, he's clearly and obviously different. Painfully so. I hate myself for feeling hurt by these differences.
Do you think maybe I'm having a hard time because the dx is just finally, really starting to sink in? As soon as I found out, I threw myself into learning as much as I could, and then problems with my oldest cropped up as well, so I've been researching on that, too. I just don't think I had a lot of time or energy left over to feel sad. Now, it's starting to really hit me like a ton of bricks. I've shaken it off before, and I suppose I will again, but I'm just really having a hard time. I don't know anyone IRL (except for one phone buddy, and thank God for her!), and I don't feel comfortable with in-person support groups. I think I'd probably either start bawling because some of the kids are doing so much better, or feel bad for feeling bad because some of the other kids might be doing worse.
I am such a mess, I can hardly stand myself. Sorry for the lengthy vent. I wish I could say I felt better, but I really don't...
I go back and forth feeling like this as well.
Starting preschool was definitely a transitional time for our son, but as long as the staff has the training, your son will probably get into the swing of things as mine did. I notice new strides he makes almost every day.
He has been in this school since the week after labor day. It took about 2 weeks of horrible sleep and really bad tantrums at home, but he said once that he likes school. I wish you and your son the best. Getting him used to a variety of transitions and situations will help prepare him for the world out there, so in the long run it is a good thing.
hth
{Big Hugg}
I know how you feel. I think we all do... Sometimes I feel very positive but every now and then I just want to cry all day. I am beggining to accept that this is how I will always feel, sometiomes happy and sometimes very sad.
This is all very fresh for you, give yourself the time to accept and re center, to come to terms with it. It will probably take your little boy a little time to get used to Preschool but I have to say although my son cried everyday for weeks when he first started going, it was sooo good for him. He really made progress.
Hang in there and we are all here to cheer you up
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