unsupportive family members | Autism PDD

Welcome to the board.

I whole heartedly agree with what Bon Bon posted.Especially not telling her if she's dealing with terminal cancer.

I think that i am learning how lonely asd can be for the child, but nobody told me how lonely it can be for the parent advocate. I'm so glad i found this board! thanks for the advice, i value all of it!

hugs!
kristi

I have decided not to talk about it anymore to my family ,my mom is very supportive ,she sees him in action because we visit alot,so I can talk to her and my DIL has seen him at his worse as well so she is supportive.

When he was first dx'd , I spent way to much energy worrying about how to convince my family that there was a problem,(I have 4 older sisters)I realized all of our conversations ,About DS ,ended with the reasons ds had Autism ,so I just stopped !,as long as he is getting what he needs ,and the school system is on board that's enough for me.

Now I relax around my sisters ,they can tell I am avoiding the subject and will even ask how he is doing,I just say Fine,and change the subject .

Linda

Okay, I am looking for some advice here. My son, Korban has recently been diagnosed on the spectrum, and i so saw it coming. He has severe sensory issues and is very intelligent with an amazing ability to problem solve. He can easily complete the 45-48 month skills on the OT eval. But, he also gets very frustrated, head bangs, walks on his toes, stims...he's sooooo on the spectrum. BUT he is so smart, that outside of our home, he already has adapted to "appear normal" Most strangers and even family members just think he is a badly behaved, quirky kid. I however, am gung-ho, knowing how important early intervention is. My side of the family really wants to understand him and what makes him tick...(no pun intended

)

BUT, my hubby -who is definitely on the spectrum, BTW- thinks it's a load of crap. He thinks there is nothing wrong with him and wants no involvement in therepies, even though he sees the improvement.

The worst part, though, is my mother-in-law. She actually accused me of pushing the diagnosis for all of the $$$$. Figure that out! ha! Well, as far as she knows, he is in OT and DT for his sensory and physical issues, and oral fixation obsession. Also that he is in speech for his delay and that he goes to playgroup to learn to interact with others. I have not told her about the ASD diagnosis.

Sooo, what do you all think? Let me also throw in that she was diagnosed with stage IV colon cancer last month, along with my bi-polar diagnosis, and my daughter has a heart condition that we have discovered in the last year. I am the main care-giver for all 3 of them, plus my normal mommy and wife duties, so it is hard to balance my life, let-alone find time to de-stress.

Am I lying by not telling her? I just don't want the confrontation right now for her sake and for the sake of calm waters. I figure I will think about telling her again when she is better. Am I right or wrong???

Anyone else deal with blatently unsupportive family?

Hugs!
Kristi

When my 5 yo was in the process of evaluation at 3 years old, I was told by many family members (including my husband) that my son was fine.

I have one sister in law on my husbands side who is a teachers aide in a school and said my son appeared nothing like the children she saw with disabilities.

Also My brothers wife, who is in the process of getting her masters in education said , Michael does not stare into space and flap his hands, He couldn't possibly be autistic.

Then of course my father inlaw Just thinks everyone is fine and great, Just people have different personalities and quirks.

My Skeptical father thinks I have fallen into "the paranoid parent " trap and a governmental money making sceme called Autism.

Sooooo to answer your question Yes i have had unsupportive family members but i can tell you this, with a little education and information and time well spent with your child they will come around. Just like I don't give up on my son, i don't give up on my family members either. It is a lack of knowledge that makes them skeptical.

maybe while your MIL is recovering she will have time to read up on this topic and learn a little about her grandson.

Good Luck to you

If your mil is terminal I would not share the diagnosis with her. She already knows her grandson has issues or he wouldn't be receiving so much services.

I would find some good friends who will listen to you and hold you when you cry. Some people, even family, can't handle it.

BTW, welcome to the boards!

[QUOTE=BonBon]

I would find some good friends who will listen to you and hold you when you cry. Some people, even family, can't handle it.

BTW, welcome to the boards!

[/QUOTE]

You know what? I get better support from my "family" here than I do from my "real" family sometimes. You definitely came to the right place when you signed up for these forums.