Nicole,
I've been there girl. When we first moved into the house we're in now, I didn't have the proper locks installed and one day my boys were outside alone. Jacob was across the street in the neighbor's yard playing with their dog and Brendon was hoofing it down the road towards my sister's house. I got the door knob covers, installed a very high up lock on each door, and drove a few nails in the top of the door frame to bend down over the door when it's closed also. I'm also on constant door patrol when there is company over. The doors have to be closed and closed tightly. My being very anal about that has made most of my family members get with the picture and they make sure the door is closed now. I still do a check each time someone goes in or out though.
I'm glad she is OK! I can only imagine what you felt. I hope I never have to go through something like that. Posting what happened is a wake up call for us all.I am glad she is ok.
I will share a story with you. I have an almost 2yr old son, totally NT. I also have a 12 week son along with my 5yr old dd. When the baby was born, my 2yr old had some major issues with jealousy. Whenever I would start to nurse, he would either scream and hit me or go in the backyard and throw dirt in the house...
One day, just about a month ago I was nursing my baby and my middle son threw a fit and went out back. I do let him go out alone in the back yard but I am always in the front room with two windows and two glass doors that let me see him. He comes in and out 100 times a day. Anyway, the next thing I know, I complete stranger knocks on my door and is holding him.
I FREAKED. I am sure I looked crazy. Emotions hit hard and I just started crying and holding my baby. I was shaking and thanking the woman over and over again. She was so sweet, she gave me a hug and told me she saw him walking down the street and noticed my gate was open and figured he lived there.
The next think I know a guy comes running up and I thought he was yelling at me...I mean, I had no idea my baby was walking down the street! But, sadly, he yelled at the wonderful, sweet woman that brought my son home. She was a black woman and my ds is white. He saw him wondering alone and he said when he saw a black woman approach him, he knew she was not his mother and feared she was kidnapping him.
OMG, a race fight happend at my front door. That poor woman. I asked they guy to leave and told him everything was fine but the jerk decided to call the cops because the woman yelled at him...duh...
It was so crazy. He was making racial slurs, she was yelling, I was crying...my son was crying and the next thing I saw were 2 police cars infront of my house. It was horrible!
Anyway, the cops were so nice and told the guy he was lucky that they couldnt arrest him for being a jerk. He left and thankfully I never saw him again.
As far a the woman who brought me my baby, I look for her all the time and I never see her. Sadly, we dont live in a very friendly neighborhood...we dont know anyone.
But, I know that feeling you have when you realize life could have changed in a second. You are not a bad Mom, but I know I felt the same. You will feel better in a few days. We have our gate bolted and I put huge rocks infront of it too...and after all that, I still check it several times a day just to be sure. Scared me to death.
I hope you feel better soon...these things happen all the time, to anyone.
I know how scary it is, but it's definitely not your fault! I'm glad she is okay!
Mason has never tried escaping the house luckily, but once he is outside he takes off all the time. If we are in a store and I don't actually have my hand on him, he is gone within seconds.
We were at a track meet for my oldest ds last spring...Mason was sitting nicely next to me watching...I reach down to grab my camera and take a picture and turn to look at Mason and he was gone...by the time I had spotted him he had climbed the bleachers and was starting to climb the fence that goes around the top!! Luckily I got to him before he reached the top of the fence, I have no idea what he would have done had he actually reached the top!
I just don't understand why he, and many others have absolutely no fear!
Congrats on the new house...you are preparing yourself very well with the fence and alarms! Try to enjoy it too!
Nicole,I'm glad she is okay. There has been several posts here about our little escape artists. You are not a terrible mother, it happens to so many of us. Search previous posts for ideas. I usually keep my home alarm on when ds is not in the same room with me. It warns me, hopefully will startle and slow him down enough for me to catch up with him. Elopement is the term Tzoya called it.
Concernedpa.
Thanks for all the love and support. An alarm sounds right up our alley. That just made #1 on our shopping list. I have always kept a pretty close watch on her, I guess with all the stress from buying a house and no sleep b/c the baby is teething...most of all she really seems to be doing so much better, this just really goes to show you can NEVER let your gaurd down, not even for one second. It just freaks me out thinking, the what ifs.....I guess I feel better knowing that im not the only one. Finally talked to dh, so he made me feel better. Thanks again,
Love~Nicole
Trinity has always been bad to run off outside, thats why I got her a backpack/harness from Wal-Mart for her. Never thought I should keep it on her always, well...til now!!
We have a huge 60 ft runner w/ a 15 ft lead on 2 huge trees outside for our dog that likes to jump, dh (half
Thank you all so much for sharing your stories with me. I am feeling better. Still dont ever know if I will shake the 'what if' butterflies from my gut.
Love~Nicole
OMG, Nicole, I would be having a heart attack. Jasper once figured outYou're definitely not a terrible person. It happened to me too a couple times.
If you're looking for product tips and other tips about running off (elopement), here are a couple good topics from our forum:
http://www.autism-pdd.net/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=16989&am p;am p;am p;KW=Lifesaver
http://www.autism-pdd.net/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=17018&am p;am p;am p;KW=missing
I'm so glad everything turned out okay.
Hi I am new to the board, but just wanted you to know that unfortunately these things happen and it doesn't make you a bad person or a horrible mom. But give thanks that she is safe and that you got to her in time.
Hugs to you... I hope that your heart is pumping regular now!
Oh, my goodness, what a SCARE! You are SO not a terrible person ... she is special needs, and you have just discovered another of her needs!
I am so grateful for both you that the van was able to stop.
I have lost T twice ... once in a big box store she wandered off, and once at an open-air zoo. VERY scary -- even without cars. Another time she jumped straight into a swimming pool, unattended, unable to swim, and I got totally REAMED by a pool employee -- a young, childless witch, who left me (as a new mom) feeling about an inch tall. Fortunately for HER, she no longer works there ...
Hope the rest of your week is more peaceful and tranquil. I think an alarm system set on monitor should help take care of her.
I just read your post and am so glad she is safe..you have an angel on your side:)
I use to have dreams about this happenening and actually had my dd walk off from her therapist from play area in mall and noticed the the therapist had no clue.... she was going toward escalator! I was shopping at store next to it and just rushed to her and luckily got her before she reached it but it certainly woke me up and made me realize that it could happen to anyone..our therapists was an angel and only looked away for a second.
I hope you are breathing today...dont feel bad it happens to everyone!
First off, you are not a bad mom. When I think my kids are down for their nap I take off all over the house doing wash, cleaning , I don't think twice. Maybe if a half hour or so passes I will check on them. I could only imagine what you felt like at that point standing outside in the rain. That sick, scary feeling that just spreads from head to toe inside you. My children are my life the air I breath , as I am sure yours are. She is fine. It could have happened to any of us.Same thing happened to me with my 7 year old last week. My granddad (who doesn't quite get autism) was working on something in my garage and he came inside and a few minutes later I realized Gracie wasn't with him. I run outside and she's in the middle of our somewhat busy road. Just standing there. My 3 year old NT son was standing on the curb yelling at her to get out of the road and when I ran out there and got her, my son told me a car had to go around her. I freaked. Wanted to strangle my granddad. Almost threw up. Then I went through why my THREE YEAR OLD CAN COMPREHEND IT AND SHE CAN"T! I of course know why but I still had to have a moment.Ive done something like that and felt like the most horrible person in the world! But its happened to alot of us, im glad the babies alright tho! I would be totally freaking out too!That had to be terrifying! We have had a few near-misses even though my son wasn't one to escape (only tried a few times and not out of the house - just away from me). Once, when he was not quite 3, he was getting into our van (I was RIGHT there) and he all of a sudden turned and took off into the parking lot. He had NEVER done that before and a car was coming. I was 8 1/2 months pregnant and THANKFULLY he had a hood which I grabbed onto. I screamed at him and then just started bawling and so did he. There was no way I could have predicted that but I watched him like a hawk for a solid year and a half after that. It has probably only been the last year or so that I have eased up some. He knows safety rules now and is VERY careful.
Please don't beat yourself up - but do get more locks and possibly alarms on the doors! I'm so sorry you went through this. I'm glad everyone is okay now.
I have BTDT and I just wanted to cry for you. You are not terrible.
{HUGS} Important thing is she is okay!
Ok sorry for freaking.
I am a little calmer now.
New locks are a must and am thinking about an alarm system for the new house(we are moving at the end of this month) We are going to have a chain-link fence put around the yard hopefully before we move in. She has always been a little escape artist, carseats, strollers, her crib. She had opened the door a couple of times but has never been able to get down the steps. This has only happened when somebody has just went outside and didnt close the main door. I always tell her no. She just has NO FEAR and its really scary. I told my DH the only condition I had about buying the house we are moving into is the fence. It is out in the country and a couple of fields away is a pond. There should NEVER be ANY reason for her to get that far from the house without being noticed but,my point was just proved with you can never tell. TOOO many horror stories about kids and ponds,especially ASD kids, that have no fear. Thanks for being here. I really needed to just talk about it I think. The major freak out is over but doubt i'll get much sleep tonight. Not trying to offend anyone with this but IMHO---GOD IS GOOD!
Love~Nicole
I am so glad your little one is ok...you may want to go to babies r us and get the door knob covers...this makes it very very hard for little hands to open up doors...they are not very expensive and I .even know some adults who need help opening the door. I also have a security system like ADT and even when disarmed a message goes off when any of our doors are openedOk as I sit here and write this I am having a sreious painc attack, cant breath right, shaking....this is why just 20mins ago everything was fine, I had laid Trinity down for a nap, my oldest was drawing in the front room,the baby at my feet like always. I am in the kitchen making dinner. Next thing I hear my oldest saying 'mom did you know she's outside' now when she says 'she' I assume she is talking about our dog....yeah thats fine but in the same thought I realize no way I didnt let her out I drop dinner run to the now open front door(we have a glass screen) and see Trinity at the road with my dog,at the same instant a van is coming around the corner I jump off the steps and run like mad hell to grab her the van sees her and slams on its breaks and starts honking and it had been raining and the van skids some. It was really close. too close. I didnt know what to do I just grabbed her and held her tight and stood there for a min before I thought to move. I was just hugging her telling her no no no over and over, im sure shes so confused. I cane in and laid her down she went right to sleep. I locked all the doors and put a chair in front of them til I get to the store and buy more locks. I tried to call dh at work he got in trouble for being on the phone. Im such a terrible person.. How did I not hear her open the door? I swear I thought it was locked. She has never did this before. I went to her while she was sleeping just now and just hugged her and thanked God she is ok. I wont be surprised if the people in the van call the cops down here. Im such a bad mom. Sorry Imjust freaking out and needed to tell someone, sorry.
-Nicole