Has the school bullied you | Autism PDD

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We had almost a similar issue with our son last year, I started to homeschool him as they did not have a classroom that I felt fit his needs at all. I also put him in a private ABA therapy program and got a lawyer to sue for what is called "due process" meaning if they can not provide what your child needs then they (the SD) has to pay for the private program that does. Man they did not like that at all, it was a fight but when you bring "due process" in they get scarred, they now provide ABA classes, some are not that great but the one my son is in, his teacher is fantastic. Last year my son cried and screamed as soon as he saw the school after about 3 weeks because he was in a developmental delayed kindergarten class, (kids with stuttering, lisps, cleft palates, etc...not autism, not adhd, nothing on the spectrum) the classroom was pure h*ll as all the other kids could learn and socialize and here was my poor baby off all by himself in a corner not learning a thing playing alone or starring off into space because it was easier on the teacher to just let him go off that way he did not have to deal with him. They would play loud music and jump and clap and blow whistles and loud plastic instruments, it was just horrible for my son he was so overstimulated and would cry and yell stop it, then for yelling he would get put in the "quiet time room"  Well let me just say that teacher and his crappy aid are lucky I am not 18 anymore or I would have took them both outside and gave them the beatdown!! But instead I wrote a big article to the newspaper (they have a column called publish yourself) well it made it to the front of the Neighborhoods section two days later, 3 news stations got in touch with me and did interviews, no names were used only the schools name so it was not hard to figure out who I was refering to. Then like I said with some encouragment contacted our state dissablity lawyer (no charge) they love to go after the schools and off we went for due process....what a battle but we won, they lost and now they are providing the program. They had a lot of people breathing heavy down their backs after all the publicity it was great (also very stressful and very sad for me to see my beautiful boy suffer) Hope all goes well for you and stick to your guns....and I would push for due process, it is your child right to get a fair and proper education!!! Take care.

To snoopywoman.

The letter is the one that states they get to eval your kid whether you agree to it or not. They have that right. BS. They don't especially if your child is not in school and mine aren't due to the school never coming up with something that works for them. I had initally signed it out of fear they could come after me and say I was a bad parent now I feel like bring it on. I did some research and now know the truth. They have fooled and scared so many families into thinking that they can get into trouble by not signing. I will agree that if my children were still getting services than having the eval makes total sense but when they are not, and the school has nothing basically to do with them than no way.

I agree. My ds is actually in school - we are fortunate to have moved to a school district that is really good for kids with autism. I did a TON of research before we moved to make sure we got the best one for ds. I honestly didn't care if we had to live in a shack if we got into a good school district for ds. Dh didn't totally agree with that mentality - but we lucked out.

I hope things get better for all of you guys soon with the school districts. Yikes!

Autism Mommy,

How did you begin your journey with the newspaper? I find that very impressive. I live in a small town and most of the school people lie to cover for each. Several years ago under another spec. ed director we had another such fight. I hired an attorney, yet I agreed to mediation. Well the day of the meeting the mediator never showed up. We never agreed to anything yet the director told the schools attorney we had reached a conclusion to the matter. She lied to the attorney. My attorney spoke with them and gave them our side of the ill fated meeting and explained that the director gave them false information. Nothing was done. They all cover each other which just isn't fair for my kids, when they know in a meeting if something is wrong or not quite right they all keep their mouth shut. I am on my own. I know today after I got this one phone call the school psychologist will probably repeat my temper to the director which is a good thing that is why I keep such close contact but when it comes down to it I don't think she will by any means go against special ed.

I just re-read your post and your paper has a spot to "publish yourself" I don't believe ours does yet of course I can write in I am just not sure what area to submit to. It is such a good idea that I think tomorrow I will go through the Sunday paper (garbage pick up not until thursday) and see what sections I can find. Let me know how you began your letter if you wouldn't mind. I don't want to come off as a really hysterical mom but certainly want my point put out there and let the public decide as well as let the board and the spec. ed director see for themselves what they have not done for these two little guys.

My son's school has tried to bully us into signing a medical release to talk to his Dr. any time they want to.  If they want info from my son's Dr.  they can get it through me if I deem it necessary.  For some reason they want to go around the parent.  My son's Dr. doesn't like to do things that way and neither do I.

As far as signing releases (which is what I think you're talking about amberwaves?) - I don't do it. Period. If they want a report and I think it's relevant, I'm happy to give them a copy (I keep copies of everything!). I just want to be able to control the flow of information! And that way, I'm kept in the loop as well...My son is due for his Triannual right now as well. It is due at the end of
this month infact. They have been bullying for the past 10 months to do
his asssesments early. ( I think they want to deny him the ABA) I expct to
be reimbursed for ABA as he was funded with an NPA in the last agreed
upon IEP.

What they are trying to do is to document a consitant refusal on your part
to the great attempts that were made by them(SD) to get your child
assessed so they can provide an appropriate education. They want to
cover their butts later on should you want to start litigation.

What I would do is to get a private eval right away (ask around for a good
one) get that done prior to the assessment.

At some point they expect you to ask for services with the SD and they
want to document your uncooperativeness.

Do not have verbal communications with them, do it in e-mail form or
letter. Think long and hard before you write anything. Document your
conversaions that way. It is a chess game, that we play with SD, stay calm
and really you should consult a special education attorney at this point,
Do not let them know what you are planning to do. Good Luck!

One other thing, and I am unclear about this, They have 45days or so I
think after you sign an assessment plan to call an IEP? I am unsure of
this. I basically save up questions for my attorney at this point.
KathyK39364.4342013889If you want services you have to sign a form for the school to test him for IEP, OT, speech etc.
      Now the Give info away forms for Dr. info can be tricky. I signed one but put AS diagnoses only paperwork. I also called J's dev ped Dr and told him the services J. is receiving so he can add those in the report. I'm getting to old for games(if you get my point). School  resource teacher said it was to better understand J, sure it was and to figure how she got the diagnoses. Sorry J has it, the letters I used to get from J school, for stimming, toe walk, transitioning, socializing problems, hmmm.  Why didn't they just listen to the vice principle (she was one of the first people who told me, J had AS) I think it is a way to look for ways not to give service and their hoping Dr. screwed up.This time I covered my bases very well! I have to wonder if somehow the school is getting money for special ed for your son - that they are counting him somehow. Not sure how, and not totally sure how it works. But what benefit would it be to the school to test your son if they get nothing? Because that takes up people's time and energy and money and the school districts never do that needlessly!

From your comments, there was apparently an issue or incident(s) that traumatized your son to create such anxiety in him that he cannot attend school.  Hopefully, that was documented, even in correspondence back and forth with the school district.  Also, hopefully, so was the original plan indicating your sons could stay together that later was pulled out from under you.  If not, it needs to be.

If you have not officially withdrawn the boys from the school district (i.e., putting it in writing that the boys are no longer attending school in the district and that they will be homeschooled according to your state's regulations), that may be why the district thinks it has the right to do a triannual review.  Particularly if, as a previous poster pointed out, they are showing him (or them) in their records as a homebound student and collecting funds for it, as well as documenting your "refusal" to have him evaluated.  They're laying the paper trail they need to have to protect them from if/whenever you decide you have to have their help or move to legal action.  Using the language from the IDEA is merely intimidation tactics - although the district is required through the Child Find provisions, etc., to actively seek out children needing special education services within their district, there is nothing that requires the parents to submit their child for testing.  Unfortunately, most parents who don't educate themselves regarding those issues aren't going to know that.  

If I were in your shoes, I would... (1) Check out the Homeschool Legal Defense Association website at http://www.hslda.org/Default.asp?bhcp=1 to make sure you are documenting your children's homeschool education correctly for your state; (2) If you do not have a letter on file with the district withdrawing them, then draft one stating that you did so effective as of (whatever date) and that outlines the issues that resulted in your withdrawing the children from school.  Send it certified mail/return receipt requested to the superintendant of the district and copying the director of special education and the state agency that governs education in your state (send those certified as well).  That way it is on record that it wasn't "your refusal" that caused the problems, and you're laying your own paper trail.  Do NOT do anything by telephone or spoken coversation - only do it in a way it can be documented. (3) Yes, get a private evaluation if you can.  That way, you've covered your bases with anything the district attempts to throw at you regarding neglect, and you've also determined the baselines you need for effective teaching at home.

School districts do use bullying tactics - up to and including calling in child protective services if they feel they're not getting what they want, particularly when it comes to homeschooling parents.  Your best defense is knowing and following the laws for homeschooling in your state.

AnamCara39364.5019328704Us too. Especially the school of autism he was in for a while. They got really pissy when I said no way. Now they just probably lable me as a difficult parent. I don't care they do not need to speak with the doctor directly unless it involves cares that a school nurse would be required to do and needs help with the meds or procedure. Good for you for standing your ground.I am very aware of the site you submitted. It only increases my desire to keep the boys home at this point. Every suggestion made the school has said no to but they do not offer any resolution. They are to my knowledge still collecting state funds for the boys since they remain on the special ed roster. Not quite honest if you ask me since they do nothing for them. I just had a phone call from the spec. ed director stating that she must have misunderstood so I should call her to set up a meeting. I didn't misunderstand a thing. When I called a week before school started and made a request she never ever called me back with an answer or another alternative to help the boys.

To Kathy K.

Depending on what you are looking for from the school I would agree to the review. My biggest concern with the schools is that they write this form letter telling you in so many words you have to allow the eval or else. (of course not in those terms but it is implied) My point is that it is illegal and that they have misread the law. This point has been proven in a case here in NY state. (YEAH) The other problem is they send this stuff out and then when you as a parent have an idea to help your kid they shoot it down and offer nothing in return and then continue to keep your child on their roster to receive state funds. Meanwhile since they left you high and dry you have no choice but to homeschool your kids and pay for it out of your pocket since they did not even supply any books. The whole thing stinks and the only ones that are truly affected by the schools lack of help is the kids.

I had received a letter from the school district about my son's triannual review. It basically said I had no choice but to submit him for testing. My son is homeschooled due to the lack of help from the district. (it is a long story). Anyway I was wondering how many others out there have had the same problem. I have done so much research to find out that the schools read the law incorrectly. I am concerned because so many parents do not have the available resources to stand up to the schools.

Is your son getting any services from public school?  Or do you want him to?

You must sign a consent for testing to enable them to test. 

If you are seeking services, or continued services testing may be important to see what he has accomplished if it is not well documented.  My son's triannual review is coming on Friday, and we only had him tested in speech and language.

Currently my son is receiving no related services. They have yet responded to calls made to them. I agree if I wanted services I would have agreed to the eval. But what they are doing and so many other schools is using a few sentences from IDEA and basically letting parents know that they have no rights to refuse whether homeschooling or not. If I wanted the related services than yes they have the right to evaluate but when not requesting such services they do not have any right to bully me into allowing him to undergo evals. Like I said originally it is there lack of help and service that my son has to be homeschooled. It was not my choice. He left school last Jan/Feb because something happened with his teacher. We have never been able to figure it out either has the school Psychologist. He can't even make it to the schools front door with out an anxiety attack where he cries uncontrollably and almost vomits. We came up with a plan to have both boys (I have another son with disabilities) put into a different class but keep the boys together. They are close in age. The week before school started we spoke with the Spec. Ed. Director and she said no way. It was our only chance of getting now both boys back into school. She said she would work something else out and call us. It is now October and she has never called us back with a solution or even advised us there was no solution. Then we spoke with the super of the school district and she has never even called us back. We were left with no choice but to keep the boys home and to homeschool them. Yet the school feels legally they have a right to force evaluations on us and the boys.

My other son has been home due to his disabilities since last school year. He was pulled out of school by his doctor yet with him too the school offers nothing to help him.

To Snoopywoman.

When we moved to our area my 9 year old son was only one month old and we did not know yet that he had autism. From what I hear many school districts are about the same. Scary, uninformed and always trying to save a buck at the expense of our children. I am happy for you and how your district seems to be helping you out so well. After not calling me since the last week in August to settle things for my sons, (one is diagnosed with autism and my other son they are not sure what is going on with him we have had a few different opinions but nothing concrete) I received a phone call today at a time when spec. ed knew that the school Psychologist would be here. I keep in touch with her mainly because I believe in the old saying keep your friends close and your enemies closer. Not that I think she is an enemy but it helps to have someone in your corner. So, since they are being homeschooled I thought she should come over and see what the boys are doing and what books and hands on things I have purchased for them. Anyway, I didn't answer the phone and let it go to voice mail. I played back the message and the director says there must be some kind of misunderstanding and maybe it is more on her part than mine but I need to call to have a meeting to try and resolve. What misunderstanding? In August she shot down our only idea to have both boys return to school, she couldn't answer questions about another situation in which we thought we could use what the school had done to help the boys and promises a phone call within a few days after speaking to some other people looking for help. She then calls and said its a misunderstanding. I don't think so. I decided to call the school psych and I basically went off on the "misunderstanding" phone call. Even she was surprised since she herself was fully aware of everything in August. I decided to write a letter to the spec. ed director of course to clear it up so there would be no misunderstanding and cc everyone I could think of.


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