25 signs that you are getting older | Autism PDD

Share

1. Your houseplants are alive, and you can't smoke any of them.

2. Having sex in a twin bed is out of the question.

3. You keep more food than beer in the fridge.

4. 6:00 AM is when you get up, not when you go to bed.

5. You hear your favorite song on an elevator.

6. You watch the Weather Channel.

7. Your friends marry and divorce instead of hook up and break up.

8. You go from 130 days of vacation time to 14.

9. Jeans and a sweater no longer qualify as "dressed up."

10. You're the one calling the police because those darn kids next door won't turn down the stereo.

11. Older relatives feel comfortable telling sex jokes around you.

12. You don't know what time Taco Bell closes anymore.

13. Your car insurance goes down and your payments go up.

14. You feed your dog Science Diet instead of McDonald’s leftovers.

15. Sleeping on the couch makes your back hurt.

16. You no longer take naps from noon to 6 PM.

17. Dinner and a movie is the whole date instead of the beginning of one.

18. Eating a basket of chicken wings at 3 AM would severely upset, rather than settle, your stomach.

19. You go to the drug store for ibuprofen and antacid, not condoms and pregnancy tests.

20. A .00 bottle of wine is no longer "pretty good stuff."

21. You actually eat breakfast food at breakfast time.

22. "I just can't drink the way I used to," replaces, "I'm never going to drink that much again."

23. 90% of the time you spend in front of a computer is for real work

24. You no longer drink at home to save money before going to a bar.

25. You read this entire list looking desperately for one sign that doesn't apply to you.
I am happy to say they all don't apply to me, Yet!

[QUOTE=LACEYONE]I am happy to say they all don't apply to me, Yet![/QUOTE]

What...you still feed the dog McDonalds?

No, having sex in a twin bed is not out of the question!Okay...so I'm old...so what???   Number 24 especially lol...I used to do that back before I was the mama.  Okay...now that song, "Momma before she was momma" is stuck in my head.Rhosyn39363.4811111111 [QUOTE=camusa]

...and yes...#2 is as you said

I have to say though, and I hate to admit it, I sometimes here some muzak versions of the Beatles, Billy Joel, Simon & Garfunkel, etc...and I think, "Awwww."  Funny how many of those have to do with sex, drugs, or alcohol. LOL!

1. Your houseplants are alive, and you can't smoke any of them.  TRUE, but never did grow my own, hydroponics are way too much maintenance

2. Having sex in a twin bed is out of the question. FALSE

3. You keep more food than beer in the fridge. TRUE, but I think I always did.  Maybe it's a chick thing...

4. 6:00 AM is when you get up, not when you go to bed. TRUE

5. You hear your favorite song on an elevator. FALSE

6. You watch the Weather Channel. FALSE

7. Your friends marry and divorce instead of hook up and break up. TRUE

8. You go from 130 days of vacation time to 14. TRUE for the most part, but I get 4 weeks vacation so I can't complain

9. Jeans and a sweater no longer qualify as "dressed up." TRUE - but that never qualified as dressed up to me

10. You're the one calling the police because those darn kids next door won't turn down the stereo. FALSE, and noone has called the cops on me since before the kids were born so I think I'm doing ok...

11. Older relatives feel comfortable telling sex jokes around you. TRUE (but I wish they wouldn't....)

12. You don't know what time Taco Bell closes anymore. TRUE

13. Your car insurance goes down and your payments go up. TRUE

14. You feed your dog Science Diet instead of McDonald’s leftovers. N/A - no dog then or now

15. Sleeping on the couch makes your back hurt. FALSE - I can sleep anywhere!

16. You no longer take naps from noon to 6 PM. TRUE

17. Dinner and a movie is the whole date instead of the beginning of one.  Not sure how to answer.  Didn't know married people my age have dates LOL!

18. Eating a basket of chicken wings at 3 AM would severely upset, rather than settle, your stomach.  FALSE - still have the iron stomach!

19. You go to the drug store for ibuprofen and antacid, not condoms and pregnancy tests. TRUE

20. A .00 bottle of wine is no longer "pretty good stuff." N/A - Never liked cheap wine!

21. You actually eat breakfast food at breakfast time. TRUE

22. "I just can't drink the way I used to," replaces, "I'm never going to drink that much again." FALSE - I can still party like a rock star, I just don't do it as often

23. 90% of the time you spend in front of a computer is for real work FALSE (this board is evidence of that LOL)

24. You no longer drink at home to save money before going to a bar. N/A - Don't think I ever did that

25. You read this entire list looking desperately for one sign that doesn't apply to you. TRUE - and damn glad I found some
 
Thanks for the laugh Cam!

Concernedpa.

HAHAHAHAHA, I must say I beleive their is a transitional period between still 'being young' like the collage years and really settling down as a true adult, perhapse I will call it the 'post collage years' and also the 'pre settling down years'. Their is a middle ground I think, those few short years, and I gotta say only half apply to me currently, i suppose thats healthy for transition.

SOOOOO many of those made me laugh, and think about the collage years, and how over time 1 by 1 those apply.

Ok... im sorry im over analyzing

Awsome list cam!errorwoodsman2539363.6060069444Sad is having to put on bifocals to read them! ahahaha I needed this tonight! You think being a college student and all these would make me feel young, but there's no way I'm sleeping on the couch or eating junk at 4 am. I am however very thankful for my lots of vacation time!! and my napping! That one about topless salespeople in fish stores is too funny! Keep em coming! I WAS named after an Elton John song after all...Now the EELS have a song with my name...

[QUOTE=Payne's Mom]Yep, those are usually the ones I start belting out...right along with Elton John...

Oh, I thought I said Elton John as well.

Yeah...ME TOO! 

1. Not into drugs never have been.

2. As the Beatles said, "Why don't we do it in the road?"

3. Always hated beer.  I don't really drink either.

4. This one is still a toss up though I get up before 7 am.

5. This happens.

6. You watch the Weather Channel. nope.

7. Your friends marry and divorce instead of hook up and break up. yes

8. You go from 130 days of vacation time to 14. yes

9. Jeans and a sweater no longer qualify as "dressed up." yes

10. You're the one calling the police because those darn kids next door won't turn down the stereo. yes

11. I'm the one telling them.

12. I don't eat fast food.

13. Your car insurance goes down and your payments go up. I drive about 100 MPH wherever I go so...you do the math.

14. I used to do Science Diet and then realized that the ash content is too high so now my animals get all organic food (innova and wellness)

15. Sleeping on the couch makes your back hurt. Sleeping makes my back hurt.

16. You no longer take naps from noon to 6 PM. I have never been a napper...or a sleeper unfortunately.

17.  Dinner and a Movie...yeah

18. Eating a basket of chicken wings at 3 AM would severely upset, rather than settle, your stomach.  ok
 
19. You go to the drug store for ibuprofen and antacid, not condoms and pregnancy tests.  yup

20. A .00 bottle of wine is no longer "pretty good stuff." true

21.   who has time for breakfast

22. "I just can't drink the way I used to," replaces, "I'm never going to drink that much again."  See #3

23. 90% of the time you spend in front of a computer is for real work <sigh> I miss my video games so much.

24. You no longer drink at home to save money before going to a bar. See number 3 again.

25. You read this entire list looking desperately for one sign that doesn't apply to you.
 
HAPPY NOW!!!  HARRUMPH!
camusa39363.4995023148Just for you Cam:

Kids

  1. Be nice to your kids. They'll choose your nursing home.
  2. Children: You spend the first 2 years of their life teaching them to walk and talk. Then you spend the next 16 telling them to sit down and be quiet.
  3. Children will soon forget your presents, they will always remember your presence. - Dobson
  4. There is only one pretty child in the world and every mother has it--Chinese Proverb
  5. Cleaning your house while your kids are still growing is like clearing the drive before it has stopped snowing.
  6. Insanity is hereditary. You get it from your kids.
  7. They say kids brighten the home. That's because they never turn the lights off.
  8. I have teenagers. Pray for me.
  9. "You're a good example of why some animals eat their young."--Jim Samuels
  10. If your parents never had children, chances are you won’t either.

          

 

Egoists

  1. If nobodys perfect I must be nobody.
  2. I used to be conceited but now I'm perfect.
  3. My opinions may have changed, but not the fact that I am right.
  4. My only flaw is that I'm perfect.
  5. Remember there is no I in team... (But there is an M and an E)
  6. An egotist has one point in his favor - he doesn't go around talking about other people!
  7. Don't believe that sort of rubbish, unless you hear it from me
  8. I'm so great I'm jealous of myself
  9. Everyone is entitled to my opinion.
  10. Save time... see it my way.

          

 

Life

  1. Growing old is mandatory, but growing up is optional
  2. Birthdays are good for you - the more you have the longer you live.
  3. Life is a test, and I didn't take very good notes.
  4. The meaning of life is to give life meaning.
  5. It is hard to understand how a cemetery raised its burial cost and blamed it on the cost of living.
  6. When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.
  7. I intend to live forever-so far so good.
  8. I used to have a handle on life, but it broke.
  9. Don't take life too seriously, you won't get out alive.
  10. Once over the hill, you pick up speed.
  11. Middle age is when the broadness of the mind and the narrowness of the waist change places.
  12. Opportunities always look bigger going than coming.
  13. Experience is a wonderful thing. It enables you to recognize a mistake when you make it again.
  14. I started out with nothing, and I still have most of it.
  15. A day without sunshine is like, well, night.
  16. I feel like I'm diagonally parked in a parallel universe.
  17. If the shoe fits...buy it in every color.
  18. You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say will be misquoted, then used against you.
  19. They keep saying the right person will come along...I think a truck hit mine!
  20. The future aint what it used to be-Yogi Bera
  21. We may be alone. We may not be alone. Either way, the thought is staggering.
  22. "I never think of the future. It comes soon enough." --Albert Einstein
  23. A penny saved is a government overlook.
  24. Birthdays are like glazed donuts. Sometimes its better not to remember how many you've had.
  25. Chocolate. Coffee. Men.
    Some things are just better rich.
  26. I like pigs. Dogs look up to us. Cats look down on us. Pigs treat us as equals.--Sir Winston Churchill

          

 

Friendship

  1. "There are many types of ships. There are wooden ships, plastic ships, and metal ships. But the best and most important types of ships are friendships."--Old Irish Quote
  2. Strangers are just friends waiting to happen.
  3. "Without friends no one would choose to live, though he had all other goods."--Aristotle
Nice one P'sM or is that PMS?  <ducking>haha Fine...I won't play anymore...(crossing arms) Hmph.

[QUOTE=Payne's Mom]Fine...I won't play anymore...(crossing arms) Hmph. [/QUOTE]

Come on lady Sex and the Law
Most Middle Eastern countries recognize the following Islamic law: "After having sexual relations with a lamb, it is a mortal sin to eat its flesh."

In Lebanon, men are legally allowed to have sex with animals, but the animals must be female. Having sexual relations with a male animal is punishable by death.

In Bahrain, a male doctor may legally examine a woman's genitals, but is forbidden from looking directly at them during the examination. He may only see their reflection in a mirror. (Maybe it looks different backwards?)

Muslims are banned from looking at the genitals of a corpse. This also applies to undertakers; the sex organs of the deceased must be covered with a brick or piece of wood at all times.

The penalty for masturbation in Indonesia is decapitation.

There are men in Guam whose full-time job is to travel the countryside and deflower young virgins, who pay them for the privilege of having sex for the first time. Reason: under Guam law, it is expressly forbidden for virgins to marry.

In Hong Kong, a betrayed wife is legally allowed to kill her adulterous husband, but may only do so with her bare hands. (The husband's lover, on the other hand, may be killed in any manner desired.)

Topless saleswomen are legal in Liverpool, England - but only tropical fish stores.

In Cali, Colombia, a woman may only have sex with her husband, and the first time this happens her mother must be in the room to witness the act.

In Santa Cruz, Bolivia it is illegal for a man to have sex with a woman and her daughter at the same time.

In Maryland, it is illegal to sell condoms from vending machines with one exception: prophylactics may be dispensed from a vending machine only "in places where alcoholic beverages are sold for on the premises."
Because you posted them in white against a light blue background!!!!! 
Copyright Autism-PDD.net