And it all falls apart. :( | Autism PDD
Sorry you had to be slapped by the Autism hand....I've been slapped before, too so I know it takes your breath away, even if you are "expecting" it.
Hope your day brightens !
My dd looked very autistic at dance class today. She started beginning of August and has been doing great and has blended in well.Today, though, two things were different. 1. The regular teacher was not there and 2. It was observation week where parents/grandparents could actually sit in the room.
Dd did so many things she doesn't normal do. Most notably she spent a lot of time spinning in circles. Today she definitely looked like something was wrong.
It just goes to show that they can be looking like they blend in and then, bam, a couple changes throws it all to hell.
indeed, even the most insignifiant changes, the most suttle differences really were noticed very quickly, and the feeling that resulted was not cool. Hard to discribe cause I still experience it to this day, that feeling that results when something is noticed thats different has never left me, very uncomfortable, its harder to know what is expected, its harder to know what to do, stress increases, mental energy declines and this feeling will ruin my day definatly.
Hope things return to normal, the hardest part is knowigng how to handel this, and although life is change, and change is common, as rough as it is its harder to accept and adapt, and i fear for me at least will be a life long stuggle, tho i have made it this far, and without any training or theripy. It can be done. [QUOTE=woodsman25] [QUOTE=kdchaos] During the water break I pulled the teacher out (probably while the other parents observing were wondering why, lol) and told her about dd's dx. Dd's regular teacher knows.The sub teacher was nice, but didn't have as much warmth to her as the regular teacher so I'm not sure if dd picked up on that or was more disturbed by the people in the room observing. It was just like night and day compared to how she has been doing.Oh, she also did a lot of staring off into space. I actually wish I had a videotape. I told dh that for the first time in a long time, I thought dd had more of classic autism look to her than PDD-NOS. She must have really been overwhelmed because she typically isn't much of a stimmer. That spinning came out of the blue.I am just curious how it will go next week with the regular teacher back after having a hard week.
[/QUOTE]
I must say I remember the 'observations' it was cool to have mom and dad in class with me, what was not cool was to have all the other parents, dont know about your kid, but I felt significant stress. Simply having a differnet teacher was not the problem, and actually now that i think about it having mom and dad their was a stressor in itself cause I felt like I could not screw up, and that the kids better not pick on me in front of them, as I did not wanna be seen in they eyes as a looser, or whatever.
Having ppl observe the teacher has to be very stressful for the teacher, but can be very stressful for ppl in my shoes, tho all the other kids appeared to not be bothered, i kept looking back, and would aviod answering questions and act as good as possible, everything had to be perfect cause i simply could not mess up with my parents their.
And thats where me and your kid seem to differ, you say she was looking into empty space during this time, I was buissy enshuring everything happened perfectly, i wonder if its due to the same cause, OR perhapse your kid is like that always in class, because of peers and the very nature of class itself may be overwelming, tho we all react differently to it.[/QUOTE]
I wasn't in the room the first 1/2 because she tends, in other situations, to do better without me. I did stay the last 1/2 and she was a bit more in tune. She isn't like that always. It was like another child took over. I guess that part of her is always there but just magnified with stress?
[QUOTE=kdchaos]
[QUOTE=woodsman25] [QUOTE=kdchaos] During the water break I pulled the teacher out (probably while the other parents observing were wondering why, lol) and told her about dd's dx. Dd's regular teacher knows.The sub teacher was nice, but didn't have as much warmth to her as the regular teacher so I'm not sure if dd picked up on that or was more disturbed by the people in the room observing. It was just like night and day compared to how she has been doing.Oh, she also did a lot of staring off into space. I actually wish I had a videotape. I told dh that for the first time in a long time, I thought dd had more of classic autism look to her than PDD-NOS. She must have really been overwhelmed because she typically isn't much of a stimmer. That spinning came out of the blue.I am just curious how it will go next week with the regular teacher back after having a hard week.
[/QUOTE]
I must say I remember the 'observations' it was cool to have mom and dad in class with me, what was not cool was to have all the other parents, dont know about your kid, but I felt significant stress. Simply having a differnet teacher was not the problem, and actually now that i think about it having mom and dad their was a stressor in itself cause I felt like I could not screw up, and that the kids better not pick on me in front of them, as I did not wanna be seen in they eyes as a looser, or whatever.
Having ppl observe the teacher has to be very stressful for the teacher, but can be very stressful for ppl in my shoes, tho all the other kids appeared to not be bothered, i kept looking back, and would aviod answering questions and act as good as possible, everything had to be perfect cause i simply could not mess up with my parents their.
And thats where me and your kid seem to differ, you say she was looking into empty space during this time, I was buissy enshuring everything happened perfectly, i wonder if its due to the same cause, OR perhapse your kid is like that always in class, because of peers and the very nature of class itself may be overwelming, tho we all react differently to it.[/QUOTE]I wasn't in the room the first 1/2 because she tends, in other situations, to do better without me. I did stay the last 1/2 and she was a bit more in tune. She isn't like that always. It was like another child took over. I guess that part of her is always there but just magnified with stress?[/QUOTE]
Indeed, I think me and her deal with stress a little different, sounds like she tunes out, where as I would be freaking out inside, everything had to be correct, no errors, the kids i wanted them to behave in a specific way so that they would not do ANYTHING bad towards me so that I appeared, in my parents eyes to be a good student and well liked. Im sure the look on my face was all they needed to see that inside i was about ready to explode, too much stress. I always hated knowing I was being watched, because I knew I could not always control others, or even the environment, the slightest thing that goes wrong and I could very well loose it tho thankfully if I recall all was good until it was over.
I wonder why we are seemingly so different even after experiencing similar changes in our normal day. Perhapse she was confused about why the new teacher and why the parents in the class?? I however knew the parents would be their, so i had time to prep, and plenty more time to worry and plan my moves as best as I can, indeed, i think we are interpereting these changes in a different way. mabyAh, you should see my son is his yoga class--rolling himself up in his
mat,
running spontaneous circles around the classroom, constantly and
inappropriately interrupting the instructor....
I never see him like
that anywhere else, so it's a good reminder
I have otten used to it. I like the term "autism slap" by the way. I think
that's happened to me a lot. J IS diffeent than other kids. He will stand
out. That's the way it goes. I've never really valued the idea of "blending
in" anyway. So, I just have to take a deep breath and learn how to help
my kiddo deal with these types of incedents.
I mostly worry about teasing. I have to be on alert for that sort of thing,
and teach my child how to deal with that, too. That's about all I can do.
I used to have a cartoon on my wall of a classroom full of horses
responding, "neigh" in unison to the teacher's plea of "yay or nay?"
The lone cow was saying "moo"
The caption read: Just because you're outnumbered, doesn't mean you're
wrong.
just thought i'd share
Be aware that blending in might not be a sign that she's doing well, just a sign that she's blending in. If she is doing things that do not blend her in very well, they might be a sign that she's learned constructive ways to deal with sensory overload, even if they look strange. Which is more progress than is ever made simply by blending in, when it comes to actual functional skills.
Very interesting.
I was actually thinking about how you said in previous posts that you always held it together in school but had a hard time at home. I've noticed my dd is doing really good in school according to her teachers/therapists, but she has been having some harder times at home than she was having over the summer when she wasn't in school. It made me think of what you had said about holding it all in while at school. I definitely think dd is doing this.
sorry you are having a hard time, You go excited to see your child shine,and instead they glare "Reality Sucks".((HUGS))
The good thing is that your DD is comfortable enough to let it all hang out,My son tries hard not to stim in Public,He tells me its very hard, but he doesn't want to be teased, He then has lots of behaviour after.
God bless
Linda
I noticed too how different my son acts when it is a new situation.I had him in karate class and he turned backwards when everyone turned
up front, kept bumping into people,was complaining loudly when he
thought someone cut in line, kept asking questions about outlets during
practise - he was actually still having a good time but I was starting to
hyperventilate. I notice all your kids are young. They grow up and things don't change much, in fact it can get worse. I have a fifteen year old and recently decided to go thru all the things I went thru when he was young, the diet, OT, speech, water therapy, anything I can find. We are trying Byonetics. We had stopped all that when he was ten figuring we were done. He seemed mild, still autistic but happy, then puberty hit and wham! back to being four years old except we added 200 lbs. to the equation. Not fun, I found myself crying out loud two weeks ago and realized we've got to do something else or one of us is going to be put away so I'm pretending there is a "window" we can still break through and I'm going for it like he was four again. I caution all of you to do whatever you can now! You can be at great risk for severe depression.During the water break I pulled the teacher out (probably while the other parents observing were wondering why, lol) and told her about dd's dx. Dd's regular teacher knows.
The sub teacher was nice, but didn't have as much warmth to her as the regular teacher so I'm not sure if dd picked up on that or was more disturbed by the people in the room observing. It was just like night and day compared to how she has been doing.
Oh, she also did a lot of staring off into space. I actually wish I had a videotape. I told dh that for the first time in a long time, I thought dd had more of classic autism look to her than PDD-NOS. She must have really been overwhelmed because she typically isn't much of a stimmer. That spinning came out of the blue.
I am just curious how it will go next week with the regular teacher back after having a hard week.
[QUOTE=kdchaos] During the water break I pulled the teacher out (probably while the other parents observing were wondering why, lol) and told her about dd's dx. Dd's regular teacher knows.The sub teacher was nice, but didn't have as much warmth to her as the regular teacher so I'm not sure if dd picked up on that or was more disturbed by the people in the room observing. It was just like night and day compared to how she has been doing.Oh, she also did a lot of staring off into space. I actually wish I had a videotape. I told dh that for the first time in a long time, I thought dd had more of classic autism look to her than PDD-NOS. She must have really been overwhelmed because she typically isn't much of a stimmer. That spinning came out of the blue.I am just curious how it will go next week with the regular teacher back after having a hard week.
[/QUOTE]
I must say I remember the 'observations' it was cool to have mom and dad in class with me, what was not cool was to have all the other parents, dont know about your kid, but I felt significant stress. Simply having a differnet teacher was not the problem, and actually now that i think about it having mom and dad their was a stressor in itself cause I felt like I could not screw up, and that the kids better not pick on me in front of them, as I did not wanna be seen in they eyes as a looser, or whatever.
Having ppl observe the teacher has to be very stressful for the teacher, but can be very stressful for ppl in my shoes, tho all the other kids appeared to not be bothered, i kept looking back, and would aviod answering questions and act as good as possible, everything had to be perfect cause i simply could not mess up with my parents their.
And thats where me and your kid seem to differ, you say she was looking into empty space during this time, I was buissy enshuring everything happened perfectly, i wonder if its due to the same cause, OR perhapse your kid is like that always in class, because of peers and the very nature of class itself may be overwelming, tho we all react differently to it.My daughter too has been regressing. I just started her on the gf/cf diet and she has seemingly gone from mild autism to moderate-severe autism. She is stimming all the time, flapping, chewing on clothing, making strange throaty noises. She is also much less responsive and less verbal. And she has also regressed in other ways like she wants to use a pacifier and drink from a bottle.
Supposedly it gets worse before it gets better, I guess we shall see. I'm sorry I didn't mean to hijack your thread with my story, I just wanted to share my btdt with you so you know you are not alone.
Yeah. And I don't know what advice to give on that either. I just know it was really not good for me to be doing that and all fell apart big time when I hit adolescence.
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