Did response change after diagnosis? | Autism PDD

We got mixed reviews..

My mom thought she was just like me and nothing wrong...then accepted it and brought up putting her in an instituition...to now since Sarah is mainstreamed in public school and doing well..she swears she told me she would be fine all along!

MIL told me she knew all along but didnt want to upset me...whenever I would try to talk to her about autism she told me "Is that all you think or read about??" Now she tells me there is nothing wrong with her and she is just fine.

So I guess they have come full circle:P

My boys are perfectly normal don't ya know that? Momma is after attention and glory or something by dragging them to doctors and therapy and everything else. They never have seen any issues at all with them .... EVER... now keep in mind they also will not babysit my "normal boys" because they are to hard to handle. They will however take my daughter off places if I let them. At this point in time we are told "He needs a good spankng and more rules so he won't act this way" "You are letting him be an embarrassment for the family can't you control him better?" The diagnosis is a lie. I probably printed all that information onto a fake letterhead etc to prove my point or something.

They see them maybe three times a year for the most part now a days (I put my foot down on taking one child and not the others and pissed everyone off) ... but yea they know it all heh.

Being a military family we are not really around any family. Once a year maybe...if that.

Karrie

People just vanished after the diagnosis. Especially after my 2nd child was diagnosed too. LizSome people were more understanding, some people treated my kid the
same as before(as in consistantly nice), some people kind of vanished and
some people thought I was a bad parent for 'labeling' my kid. It made me
realize who my friends were and good riddance to the rest of them.
Some people will tell me that I must be so patient and special person to
be the parent of a kid with asd - actually the main quality required to be a
special needs parent is a thick skin.[QUOTE=brown1442]

Our family CONSTANTLY points out everything good Jason does and then says "see he can't have autism he just did ___" Drives me INSANE... like kids on the spectrum never do anything good

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I so agree with this and also the next post about the taking one and not the others. My mother in law will say oh he's just wierd in a good way... Im like NO HE'S AUTISTIC... but then again she also tells EVERYONE we meet they are autistic and to excuse any behavior (even if they are fine)

I don't live near any family. But I can say that my mom knows another child who is my oldest son's age (and on the spectrum) and for some reason she gushes over everything HE does but when I tell her about something my two have done, she changes the subject. I don't think she accepts that both boys have autism. My dad still thinks it will all just magically go away. When I talk to my sister on the phone she is very uncomfortable talking to me about the kids. Thankfully my brother and SIL are sane and ask about the boys often and even supported us when we did the CAN walk in April.

My husband rarely speaks to his family. When he does his mother only focuses on the bad things and when he tried to tell her about the boys, she starts talking about someone else's kid and their problems.

Ugh, after typing that all out, I am really glad I don't live near any family. Even though their help would be great - it's so not worth it!
DisneyMommy39359.8001967593Saka...we are forunate to have a great family support group. My mother and father (both in their mid 60's) are now surfing the net and printing things about autism. They visit often and are very supportive. Younger soon to be married brother and his fiance(sp) visit and have offered to watch my two younger children if we ever need a night out. We have yet to take them up on the offer..hehe. The fiance is also a massage therapist and she showed us how to do proper deep pressure massage. Our friends have been interested and helpful. All in all, it has been a very postive reaction from most of our people.

Everyone in my family has been tremendously supportive.

There was no big "before dx" and "after dx" moment for us. I was pretty open about my concerns about C, which made everyone observe him closer as well. We talked openly about it, and as we got evals, started therapy, etc. I kept everyone in the loop. It was a journey our whole family made together.

I realize how fortunate I am in this regard. It pains me when I read posts on this board about unsupportive families and disappearing friends.

my family does not believe the diagnosis solely cause they do not bang their heads, they don't look like that video on autism speaks and all the other news stories showing kids that are completely nonverbal and severly effected. THey think they are just a little slow, but they will be fine and I am completely overreacting. DH's family don't say anything about it, but do all they can to help. They do know there is something going on, no denial there.My family tried to tell ME that there was something wrong but I didn't listen!

The only thing is, even though they know about him I wish they would take more interest in REALLY getting to know about Autism, PDDNOS, & Aspergers. I just feel like they don't really want to take the time to REALLY research it like I have. But they knew before I did. I really dont like it when my father tells people he is "Challenged". I hate that word. He will always bring that up if we are in public, and someone is staring... "He's challenged" he'll say!!! I am trying to pick my battles with my family but this one really gets me mad. I think my family also doesn't understand why he isn't a savant yet

NO, not everyone can count cards people!
I do have an Aunt who doesn't believe in Autism or any psychological problems such as depression or anything - she thinks if you are a good enough (insert prefered religion here, ahem) than you wont have these problems. Other than her, I haven't had anyone not believe me in my family.

Our family CONSTANTLY points out everything good Jason does and then says "see he can't have autism he just did ___" Drives me INSANE... like kids on the spectrum never do anything good

I was thrilled to get a formal diagnoses as it was my way of saying Yes I thought it was ASD, and now this doctor that specializes in this and charges a lot of $$$$ confirmed my fears, and here is what we are going to do to get him better. I found that it made people more supportive, more interested in our plans to work with him, and people asked about all of his therapies, etc.

I found that I have become the biggest poster child for autism- I tell everyone who asks about Lucas so that I can educate as many people as possible.

I would like to thank everyone for their reply. I am glad that some of you received more support after receiving a dx, and sorry that some of you lost support after. We found that an official dx did not really make any difference for us. People that were supportive before were still supportive, and people who weren’t still weren’t.

Most of my family and friends have been awesome! I guess I am lucky to have such great people in my life who do understand and our accepting and also are willing to work with it. My husbands family tends to act a little bit more like Oh, she is fine. But that is ok , I don't push the issue with them. [QUOTE=SaKa]. Did you find that family and friends who were critical prior to diagnosis were still critical after, and that family and friends who were supportive before were still supportive after? OR did you find that family and friends who had been critical and/or unsupportive prior to diagnosis were more supportive after you child was diagnosed?[/QUOTE]
Depends my step dad who is like a father to me glade J. got a diagnoses.
My mom's side STILL in denial. Mom's side toe walking is normal and I wonder why she has social problems you don't take her out in public enough. My dad's side, my aunt who has an AS daughter is in denial, then she would have to except the trueth about her own daughter's condition. My 1 brother is glade J is getting help and is watching his son closely.
My biological mom is upset wishing she never married my biological father.
The school has stoped picking on her for now. I have not told all my family member yet. Since we never see them.

My bipolar MIL. says AS are suicidal. I don't have any suicidal people in my family. Sorry MIL I looked up suicide rates for bipolar and it's 50% have tried. Yes my MIL tried to kill herself before.
LOL...wellllllll...my son with Aspergers...I think some doubted. My family still thinks that because he can communicate that he is just fine. We don't have much to do with my family.

With my younger son, it is far more obvious. My ex's mother is involved with the kids. Her family as well as much as they can. Ex's father is not involved (lives in another country but makes no effort to stay in touch, not even with his own son), and my mother makes these comments every now and again about son #2...things like, "oh look! He made eye contact!" He's always always always made eye contact.

Both my sons and their father have different "symptoms". Like I said...my younger is is more obvious. With his father it is obvious. My older son has lots of problems with routine changes and my family is never around to see those...

Well, we keep with us who can be supportive and those who aren't, we don't bother with too much. For me, it's poison. I didn't diagnose the children myself...teams of professionial did and I don't care how much people think my older son is "just fine"...I think if his teachers and therapists were asked, they would tell my family the same as i do...
[QUOTE=souljen] my mother makes these comments every now and again about son #2...things like, "oh look! He made eye contact!" He's always always always made eye contact.

Your mom sounds like my mom's side. T is worse with stimming than J. My mom's side, Oh, that's normal. ALL kids do that. Then I say will I didn't do that. Them that is bec you were advanced for your age! (I guess I'm excluded. thinking it) I say, Not all kids do all 20 different types of stemming.

I feel like I got less support after the dx. Mom said, "You've worked with these kinds of kids before, so it should be easy for you"

She disapproved of the"hippy" school Sam attended for two years, but after I moved him to the public school, Mom found the *perfect* school for Sam. This *new* school is the one that inspired the "hippy" school's curriculum, which did not met Sam's needs. I feel like my mom is always second-guessing my parenting. As for the rest of my "close knit family" (LOL) , no one has asked about Sam in over a year. Granted, I try to keep my distance now. I don't have the emotional fortitude to deal with them

Mom tells people she has 2 grandson's with autism, I wonder how my brother feels about that, as his son has not been dx'd or even evaluated. (I do suspect asberger's)

The lack of support or understanding from my family may be the hardest thing I've had to deal with since getting Sam dx'd. I feel like I lost my mom when I became a mom to a child with autism,.

mama to Sam 8 yrs PDD NOS OCD ODD PPD and Alex 2 yrs

I went through a period after my own acceptance, where there was disbelief of the dx ... it has gradually settled down.

Now, T herself has also mostly settled down to where I wonder if it is worth her IEP ... but then every once in a while she throws a meltdown, or monologues, or something else that screams ASD to me. Told my friend the other day she threw a fit that by itself was enough to justify dx!