How to make my son stop HITTING? | Autism PDD
When Clarissa was hitting, what I would do is prepare for the situation. Let's say I knew that she hit at the department store while waiting line. Before we'd go, I'd prepare her. I'd tell her we're going to the store and that I needed her to be good. To be good, she needed to keep her hands to herself. And I told her that if she didn't hit anyone, she'd get Jellybeans. I'd draw a picture of me and her, and she had her hands to the side. I'd also draw her hitting and put a bar in it. It helpd that she knew how to read and I'd write "no hitting".
It was time-consuming but it really helped. Eventually she assimilated the concept that she should keep her hand to herself.
Distraction helps too. I'd try to get her to count the numbers at the grocery store checkouts, etc.
I have the same problem--also at my wit's end!
Amah,
something you said got me thinking--about overstimulation. I had never considered that as the cause of my son's hitting and pushing. That could be a large key. Thanks so much for mentioning it.
I think it is a sensory issue. My son used to hit me all the time! Everytime he would see me or face me, he would hit me for no reason at all and then say "hi."
His speech was quite delayed at the time, and he was also delayed in receptive speech. When I finally got him diagnosed and evaluated by the speech therapist, she explained that he probably didn't understand what I was saying to him, and to use pictures as visual cues. Once I did that, big difference. Then with the O/T, I realized that he was not maliciously hitting, he could not control his sense of touch. That he needed the physical contact, but had to learn the differnce between gentle and aggressive.
When he would hit me, I would pretend to cry as if it hurts to show him the emotion it triggers, then I would tell him with as much body language as possible, no hitting, let's do hugs instead. Worked well when hitting other kids as well. Only problem with that is that other kids have issues with someone invading their personal space.
To give your child the physical contact and tactile input he needs, my ds' O/T gave me the following list. I posted it a while back, but it really helps.
Good luck!
http://www.autism-pdd.net/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=17439&am p;KW=heavy+work&PN=0&TPN=3
Some things just get better with time and consistancy. Adam is 5 and he is a lot better than he even was 6 months ago.
Karrie
Problem...His pre-school will not use ANY method which involves "time out". Also, I think it's probably sensory. When he was a baby he use to hit/pat things alot while he was checking them out. Any ideas on a sensory replacement?
All behavior is communication, so hitting can definitely be a way of communicating overstimulation.
It can also be sensory-seeking behavior. If anyone wants to chart their child's sensory issues, you can use this checklist:
http://www.sensory-processing-disorder.com/sensory-processin g-disorder-checklist.html
If it's sensory-seeking, you can help him find more acceptable ways of getting this need met. When our kids banged on the table, we would tell them go bang on the couch, for example.
My son would lash out when he was frustrated playing with his little brother. We immediately said "No, stop. No hurting" (a more general rule than no hitting) and removed him from the situation. Then I talked to him about how to handle his frustration in a more acceptable way and modelled saying "I'm mad", etc. And guess what one of little brother's first words was? "Mad!" This is more a long-term solution.
You can also try a social story. There are some relevant examples here, including "nice hands/naughty hands":
http://www.autism-pdd.net/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=14154&am p;KW=sample+social+stories
Good luck with everything.
Curzir,
Are you in a private preschool or a SpEd preschool through the school district? Our SpEd preschool introduced us to this method. They didn't actually call it a "time out" but "get ready." When the counting got to 3 C had to sit in the "get ready chair" for 5 minutes so that he could calm down and "get ready to rejoin the group." However we also tried C in "regular preschool" for a few hours each day and they refused to "time out" because it "wasn't in their charter."
In terms of sensory replacement, have you looked in the Wilbarger brush technique? We saw great results there. I especially like it because it's portable! My son loved being rolled up in a blanket, being squished under a beanbag chair, etc. but you can't be walking around the grocery store carrying a weighted blanket to roll him up in on demand LOL! Another portable item for sensory seeking kids is the weighted vest. The preschool teachers used one with C when he was 3/4 and he liked it. It got to the point eventually where when he'd get all wound up he would go to the teacher and say "vest please" and then would calm down.
kristys --
"get ready chair" -- I like that idea.
Stezzy,
My some was barely verbal when we started this at age 3 (he had a few words and phrases but not much). The teacher made 4 cards for us: 1, 2, 3 and a picture of a chair. When we would "count at C" we would hold up the cards so he got the visual cue to go along with the verbal. We eventually stopped the visual part once he caught on and was able to respond to the verbal only.
All,
For those of you starting out with 1-2-3 magic, I've done it everywhere! I've counted 'em down and timed 'em out at the park, at the mall, in the waiting room at the doctor's office. The only place where my hands were tied is if someone was acting up when I was driving. However, now that they are older I do the 1,2,3 lose something (privlige, gameboy, etc.) when it isn't convenient to do a time out (like in the car, on the airplane, etc.)
Consistency is key!
I also have this problem with my son - he hits and pulls hair. I'm at the end of my tether as nothing seems to help. He's non verbal so I'm not sure the 123 thing will work with him but I'm willing to give anything a try.My son is very verbal and I started implementing it today. He seems to be grasping the concept. After one day he is stopping after 1. I noticed that he seems to be doing it so that I will do the 1-2-3...any thoughts about that? It's definatly good he stops after 1, but the goal is that he doesn't do it at all. and what is 1-2-3 Magic??? It's funny you brought the 1,2,3, method up ever since you posted that awhile backed we tried it and it works for Abby. Her daycare teachers also use it for her and it useful for them. But we only use it for major stuff like hitting and kicking and running away from us. We try not to over use it.1-2-3 Magic
We were introduced to this by C's 1st SpEd preschool teacher when he was 3. It has been used consistently at home and school ever since. It works well with my NT son too!
Interesting.. we are having the same issue!How verbal is your son? We had the same problem with my son at 3. I had to watch him like a hawk and try to intervene before he hit and help him use his words. He was in 2 school settings at the time. One was a very small class size and they worked with him to get over the hitting, they took a break from the activity and helped him and the other child talk about it. The other was a large class and he seemed to have problems during the unstructured part. I obvserved one day and realized he was hitting to get attention and/or in reaction to the overstimulation. He was so used to one on one attention from me, his therapists etc and when he hit, he got attention from the teacher. They tried time out but that never worked for him there and all it did was make him escalate. And, most preschool teachers will tell you that time out is not a good solution for preschool kids. There is just too much going on around them. And, the teacher seemed to have labeled him the "bad" kid and I think he could sense that.
I pulled him out of the larger class and continued to work on it with him at home and on playdates and at his other preschool. We had a rough few months, but he did get past it. And, now at closer to 4 time out really works for him. I have a book called Setting Limits for your Strong Willed Child and he says that time outs don't really work until 3 for very strong willed children. And, if your son has any language delays, that may be even more true.
Rita, my son used to hit the t.v. but he finally stopped. One day dh told Parker that we had a new t.v. and he needed to stop hitting it. He never hit it again after that. Would the 1-2-3 be affective with biting as well? Hope someone out there can offer me something to try...My son is 3 PDD-NOS. He WILL NOT STOP HITTING PEOPLE
!!!!
I am at my wits end!! Why does he feel the need to hit people for
no apparent reason? Is there any method I can try to make him
stop. I tried to drill it into his head by saying about 1,000,000
times daily. No hitting! I look him in the eye and say
it. I tried ignoring him. I tried putting him on time
out. It is worse when he is at school, but not only. I
tried listing all the people he hits and say No hitting the teacher, no
hitting your firends.. etc. Now he gets some kick out of
repeating the no hitting list, but it does not seem to have any
relation to him STOPPING! Please help...
BUMP!!!!!!!!!!
Curzir, I am having the same prob with my 2 yr old daughter. She hits - only me and the TV! And I have tried every tested method - to no avail. I am at my wits end too.
My therapist suggested this - everytime she hits, seat her ona chair with ur back turned and arms streched out... NO verbal...She said that may help. I am going to try it.
We successfully used 1-2-3 Magic to extinguish hitting. Hitting (and throwing) were big problems for us when C was 3.Copyright Autism-PDD.net