If i'm just grabbing a couple items i'll bring the stroller, otherwise I start telling my boys they must sit nice in the cart or we can't go. I remind the during the ride, while getting out of the car, ( i'm sure they get tired of hearing me) but i just keep reinforcing. I also bribe them with snacks
You can also try bringing a favorite small toy or book.
Get them involved too, ask what we need at home, or ask what they think will be in the next isle, I find talking to them during shopping trips really helps also.
And sometimes nothing works, but i can ususally tell if its just a bad time to go shopping before we walk out the door.
That took a bit of practice.
What I would do is before the trip, I'd focus on the behaviours I'd want to eliminate. Clarissa would run away and touch stuff on the shelves.
So what I'd do is plan a reward. Let's say a trip to Zellers (the departement store next door-- to see the toys) or some jellybeans.
So before the trip, I'd sit with her and draw a picture of what I'd want her to do. I'd state the instruction in the positive-- so "stay next to mom" or "hold mom's hand". I'd also write it, because she can read simple sentences. For touching, I'd draw "keep your hands to yourself".
As I walked to the store, I'd remind her of the deal: stay next to mom and keep your hands to yourself and you'll get some jelly beans. For practice, I'd just get a few things-- not a big cart of groceries.
During the trip, I'd praise her "oh, you're being a good girl, staying next to mom!" If she touched something I'd say "Do you want jelly beans? Then don't touch!"
In the early days, I also brought the picture that I drew with me to remind her.
The hardest part was waiting in line for the cash register because she was bored and always tried to grab the chocolate bars and throw them on the floor. The thing about these trips is that you have to be ready to leave if there is a serious breach of the rule-- so you can't do a big grocery or go for things you need for that day. It takes several trips to the grocery store.
Clarissa was pretty good for a while, then she started running out of the store recently. When she goes with her sister Francesca, I tell her to hold the cart while we're in line and loading the groceries-- I tell her so it's that no one takes the cart away from us and we have no cart to haul the groceries to the car (it's been known to happen!) And I tell her what a big girl she is. That way while she's waiting, she has something to do and will be less tempted to run away.
"Clarissa was pretty good for a while, then she started running out of the store recently."
Wish you well. Epiphany, I still run out, sometimes leaving paid for items.Now I have the wonderful option of shopping while B is at school. Before he started school, I'd either ask my mom to watch him and get her stuff too, or take him with me and still put him in the little seat. People sure look at you strangely when you have a 5 year old in the buggy seat with a belt on. Jacob is still small enough to strap down.One of Ben's least favorite places in the world is the grocery store. I try to go super early in the morning if I must take him with me. I have noticed that there are parents(special kids) from our school that go to our store on Sunday morning after the church hour has started. We all laughed about it.
Our grocer has carts with benches attached to the back. Big enough for my almost 5-footer to sit comfortably. There are days when he might decide to strap himself in. It is the only store that I see with those. So they get my dollar! Otherwise, I spend alot of time trying to get him to push the cart slowly. Ben has great difficulty with self-regulation, so he doesn't realize when he is going too fast. Not fun for either of us.
Nick is 44# and is 5 1/2, and he still prefers to sit in the cart like a younger child does, most of the time. Sometimes he will sit in the back ...
The stores with the car carts or the benches are great.
thanks everyone for ideas. i think training is on order soon.
She does love to go to the store. Just not used to walking yet.
I will plan short trips and have her hold my hand or the cart. Riding on the cart is a good idea, too. We do have the big carts with the special seats but they are heavy and hard to steer.
I think this is something to practice. You could try a weighted or other sensory items as well to help reduce the stress.
I don't know if you are able a few times a weekly take her to the store. No expectations. I used ALOT of praise and intermittent rewards (tickles, mini m&m's etc). The first few times we only walked in and out of the store. And then we walked up the aisle and back out. Going around corners or tunring around to go back are big issues for my dd. I wasn't concerned with buying grocercies while I was there. The goal was to keep it as positive as possible for her while increasing her tolerance and conditioning her to new expectations. Anyhow... that's what I did.
I'd try a backpack harness like this cute monkey one from Walmart.
When my son was little and didn't want to hold my hand while transitioning to the car or going for walks, I had good luck having him hold one end of a jump rope or small hoop while I held the other. He felt more independent, but was sticking by me. I used this trick with my younger son, too.
Otherwise, my kids often stand with their feet on the cart by the front wheels, holding onto the top. Sometimes they step off at the wrong time and I have to stop suddenly, but at least they stick with me.
Good luck with everything.
We got lucky with our son as far as grocery shopping goes. He's always loved the grocery store. When he was younger I'd draw a few pictures of things we needed and allowed him to take it from the shelves and put them in the cart. It seemed like if he knew he was going to get to do it, he'd leave other things in the store alone. Now, at 11, I give him his own written list and helps get the stuff still.
Now, clothes shopping, is another story. He HATES department stores!